Fan Fic: ITSMYLIFE Expanded Universe

What happens when ITS MY LIFE!, an infamous Portal Troll Fic complete with a series, known for many breaches of canon and reality, meets ASBusinessMagnet, an aspiring fanfic writer of the very same fandom who was struggling to write a series of hisnote  own? The answer is a trollfic series that rivals the original, introduces many more concepts, and makes the whole universe seem almost livable, that's what happens.

These are the fanfics written by ASBusinessMagnet's own interpretation of MarissaTheWriter:

In addition, there are several in-universe stories written by the local history junkie, Skepness Man Beauregarde:

She also has thrown together an e-book with most of these stories, as well as the originals, appropriately called the MarrissaTheWriter Complete Anthology.

The ITS MY LIFE! Expanded Universe provides examples of:

  • Artistic License – Geography - When running at superhuman speeds, Scot makes it from Florida to Portal High School in either six days or three weeks. However, when walking at normal speeds, Skepness Man makes it from the neighboring state (or is it?) of Georgia to Portal High School in just an hour.
  • Cameo - Almost every chapter of Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host features a new shitty cameo, including Benny Lewis from Fluent in 3 Months, Liudas Vasaris from a Lithuanian novel Altorių šešėly by Vincas Mykolaitis-Putinas, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaires/"Beauregardes" from A Series of Unfortunate Events, Cecil and Carlos from Welcome to Night Vale, Vi Hart and SkyDoesMinecraft.
    • The second half of Spectators of the Host virtually runs on cameos, seeing as there is little to no plot left.
  • Cross Over - Along with the collection of fandoms that MarissaTheWriter already introduced, Homestuck and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory also join the game.
  • Cut Short - ASBusinessMagnet has a really terrible time writing endings. The ending of Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition ended up being merged with the ending of TEEN FORTRESS 2, and the ending of Post-SCrash Session has Janet Roberts and co., instead of going to the Incipisphere, crash into the time/place of THE MARRISSA GAMES.
    • The ending of Post-SCrash Session 2: The Belorussian Aliens, the aptly-named "To Cut a Short Story Long", also is this, briefly summarizing Meanie Pixies's adventures.
    • At least Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host ends more properly.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: From OMG IMMA IN LOFE WIDDEN ALEEYEN!:
    I also amme frends widda gurl name Kanner Sorket so were frends an wee offin tolk troo pester chumz [...]
    [...] We tolk kunte offin an were gode frendz [...]
  • Elaborate Underground Base - The extended underground part of Portal High School. Among other things, it has a spare time machine.
    • There's also a tunnel that goes all the way to The Capitol.
  • Five-Man Band - The "chronomads" and associated people, who are made out to be bigger heroes than Janet and co., who all play the role of The Watson and/or Extreme Doormat.
  • Gratuitous Foreign Language:
    • Gratuitous French - Skepness Man is the main offender, though others indulge in it as well.
    • Gratuitous Russian - The Apache Tracker's Russian lessons of "нахуй" (a curseword).
      • The "Russian" in Parody of a Parade is really English, transcribed to Cyrillic (though not invoking The Backwards Я; it really is Chyuvifejs Rentipents and Skepnis-Men Borigard).
      • It's still not quite Russian, though; the word ASBusinessMagnet was looking for was "бизнесмен" (biznesmen).
      • Depending on the particular adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, though, it can be either "Виолетта Боригард" (Violetta Borigard), "Бьюргард" (B'yurgard) or "Борегард" (Boregard).
    • Later, Marrissaverse Stories 2015 involves, of all languages, Gratuitous Esperanto. Which the characters instantly mistake for French.
  • Halfway Plot Switch - The main focus of Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host ends up rapidly fluctuating, going from Janet and co. exploring the past to developing Skepness Man as a character to developing Violet Beauregarde as a character to a romance between Skepness Man and Chell Junor.
  • Humans Are Morons - A recurring theme, at least for non-falmer trollz. Skepness Man has this to say on the matter:
    They will only ever care about procreating and simulating a society, less resembling real sentient people and more resembling cogs in the machine of a great fanfic writer WAIT A MINUTE OOPS BIG WORDS.
  • Recursive Fanfiction
  • Rouge Angles of Satin - The quality of English varies from story to story; Portal: The 4th Millennium: The Trollfic Edition is nigh unreadable, while Spectators of the Host is almost believably badly written.
    • OMG IMMA IN LOFE WIDDEN ALEEYEN! has "Kanner Sorket" gradually convert from speaking trollficese to speaking proper English while keeping her quirk, and then narrate the rest of the story.
      • This is actually common to falmer trollz; before being "converted", Skepness Man also spoke a bizarro Franglais that is pretty much unintelligible to an English monolingual.
    • One of the main premises of the version of Post-SCrash Session posted on Fanfiction.Net is "what if [MarissaTheWriter] had at least tried to learn proper English".
  • Secret Identity - Dom Cobb and the Companion Cube. I shit you not.
  • Short Title: Long, Elaborate Subtitle - Both of Skepness Man's works, namely Enchiridion Marrissa - A Guide to the Universe of ITS MY LIFE! and TEEN FORTRESS 2 and Additional Discoveries on Marrissaverse History - An Autobiographical Novel by Skepness Man Beauregarde.
  • Shout-Out - There are at least three references to Half-Life: Full Life Consequences in the Post-SCrash Session series. Dick Stiller wrote a novel Pony Pals: Detective Pony in what closely resembles the style of Full Life Consequences, Skepness Man once says "it's a good day to do what has to be done by me" and lastly GLaDOS says "I suppose it is time we finish this ordeal ones and for all".
    • As well as that, ASBusinessMagnet likes making references to Minecraft, once naming Andord Hell "da Neffer" and having Cantaloupe make a killing on a "skyblock island".
  • Stealth Pun - Skepness Man mentions that the two extremes of robot size are Jerry the Nanobot and Thomas the Tank Engine.
  • Tangled Family Tree - Let's see how it plays out this time. Principals Business Man and GLaDOS are the parents of Caroline, Scot and Pyro have a child they name Spy (inversion of Team Fortress 2's Meet the Spy, where it's hinted that the Spy may be the Scout's father), human!female!Gir (don't ask) and the evil twin Cave Jonson have a child they name Zim, Averil Lovonde and Gerod Why have two daughters Raws and Roxee Lovondes and a son Skep Katty, and in the far future Chell Junior ends up being an ancestor of Colonel Massacre, who has a kid with Betty Crocket (who may or may not be the same as Candacension Pixies) named PoopUp Roberts, who with Grandma London end up being grandparents of Janet Roberts and (possibly) Jack London.
  • Timey-Wimey Ball - Given its appearance in ITS MY LIFE!, it is the only viable explanation for all the contradicting realities, including one where the Earth got blown up.
  • Troll Fic
  • Villain Decay - Sentinel Crane gives this gem:
    ten nine something something one now go kill each other.
  • Wham Episode - Chapter 28 of Post-SCrash Session 3: Spectators of the Host. It turns out "Violet Beauregarde" was really Marrissa and "Willy Wanker" was really GLaDOS.
  • Writers Cannot Do Math - Averted; Cranky Vasquez inserts calculus in the middle of his essay.
    Seriously Written Note: And officially my love of mathemathics emerges in my fanfics for the first time.

Alternative Title(s):

Marrissa The Writer Complete Anthology