Darth Wiki / Ya Boy Network

At its peak, Ya Boy Network / yaboy Network was a Twitter roleplay group set in the Team Fortress 2 universe, with characters from other Valve-made video games, characters based on existing characters, and a few inanimate objects. It was intended to imagine what Team Fortress 2 mercenaries, among others, would be like with very loosely interpreted personalities and with Twitter accounts.

However, that vision didn't last long. Out of the Twitter accounts created for this roleplay around summer 2014, the majority are no longer accessible, and the surviving ones stopped tweeting in character years ago. Thus, there's no longer a coherent narrative outside of this page.

See Tumblrfort for a Tumblr equivalent of this roleplay, and their equally unverifiable narrative.

The Ya Boy Network contains examples of:

• Absent-Minded Professor: BLU Medic often starts projects and forgets them. Also forgets things like feeding himself.
• Adoring the Pests: RED Medic has around 40 pigeons that hang around him in his lab, all of them referred to as Archimedes.

  Medic: ive got like 40 birds you think i keep track of which ones archimedes?? they all archimedes i dont give a shit

• After-Action Patch-Up: Despite having multiple medics, the mercenaries seem to prefer to have their friends or significant others tend to their wounds unless the situation is dire. Femedic and BLU Medic have been known to extend their services to members of the opposite team either out of duty or for the sake of a teammate.
• Affectionate Nickname: Mag-pie, to Maggie from Sniper.
• A God Am I: Bread became one after jumping down the throat of a giant demon dog-like creature, much to the distress of others.
• The Alcoholic: Blue Demo thinks he drinks, because he's supposed to drink. He eventually realizes that this is a problem and turns to BLU Heavy for support.

• Ambiguous Gender: Pyros of both teams identify as neither gender, and are paired with each other as a result.

• An Arm and a Leg: Bidwell gave up his leg in order to stop the demonic possessions.
• Anger Born of Worry: Loud frowning, mild scolding and a commanding tone from BLU Medic lets TentaSpy know that he is both in trouble and that he is getting treatment whether he likes it or not.
• Animate Inanimate Object: Bread, Sandvich, Dispenser, and for a time Sentry and Bombinomicon. Clutch was believed to be one for a while, thought it was later revealed that she was in fact a fairy living inside it, and the clutch itself was actually inanimate.
• Artificial Limbs: RED Engineer and BLU Engineer have prosthetic right hands, Femgie and Jerry have prosthetic right arms, Bidwell has a prosthetic left leg, and Spyborg has an entire prosthetic body from the neck down.
• Auto Erotica: RED Heavy had sex with Femscout in his truck. No serial killer appeared.
  • Likes to do the do in planes "because the seats recline".
• Backstory Horror: The story behind how Femgie originally lost her hand. Every now and again, she wakes up with a vastly different memory of it, from "I was drunk and I had a cool prosthetic and a saw" to "I was tortured along with some other femmercs because I didn't act like a perfect housewife and I had to cut it off with a butter knife". This idea was suggested by Soldier-mun to handwave Femgie-mun's indecisiveness.
  • SpyHead was decapitated by the RED Medic and kept alive with the use of phlebotinum & kept in a fridge for several years with no contact to the outside world.
• Because I'm Good At It: Most of the mercenaries keep doing their jobs because they're good at it. When they do their actual jobs.
• Berserk Button: While usually keeping control of themselves, RED Soldier shows this when someone uses his not being in the military as an insult, and SpyHead flips if dehumanized or if his lack of a body is used as an insult.
  • People touching his weapons without permission, or making broad assumptions about his intelligence is one for RED Heavy.
• The Berserker: Femscout's love for battle comes from a violence/pain kink.
• Breaking the Fourth Wall: So much. All characters are aware that they're in a video game (some had better reactions to this than others), and often complain about things that a fan of the series would only know. Additionally, several of the characters can hear the muns talk to each other OOC, and occasionally comment on it, or join in in the conversation.
• Cannibal: In a state of high spirits, Bread ate a cupcake. They realized their mistake just moments later, quickly requesting mouthwash. ^note  Once stating the issues to others, Bread mainly said things along the lines of ENEHUH and AHUEH.

• Cardiovascular Love: Sort of. Medic once replaced Tentaspy's heart when the Uber Mechanism faulted. Tentaspy made the joke that Medic fixed his broken heart.
• Casual Kink: BLU Engineer casually told RED Soldier that he'd hog-tie him when he got back home. Soldier was the only one in the network who had no idea what he was talking about. The same was true about Soldier-mun and the other muns. This later was dubbed "The Soldier Rope Awareness Experience Extravaganza", later shortened to "The Rope Extravaganza".
  Femgie (OOC): ((and now the soldier rope awareness experience extravaganza begins?))
  • Blu Pyro also kept a collar on TentaSpy with implied pet play.
• Catchphrase: Making a variant of such or retweeting it has become a running joke. for RED Engineer.
  • Retweeting "soldier no" or "NO! NO NO NO!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!! SOLDIER NO!!!!!!!!!!!" whenever Soldier (usually RED) does something stupid
  • Specifically saying one of the stock phrases whenever Soldier (usually RED) does something stupid
    • Doing either of these when Soldier (usually RED) does something good/smart
  • Replacing "soldier" with the name of someone who is doing something stupid, usually "hale no" or "saxton no" or "tenta no"
  • Replacing "no" with "yes", usually to create "soldier yes". Usually said by RED Soldier himself.
    • Doing both of these at once, to create something along the lines of
  Femgie: tenta no
  Tentaspy: tenta yes
• Chastity Couple: Femsolly and Femgie. While they'd gone out on several dates, shared a bed for around a week while in Paris, and talked like they've been in love with each other for years, they hadn't even gone so far as to kiss.
  Femsolly (OOC): Girl we be classy
  Femgie (OOC): u kno it
• Contagious A.I.: At a specific time each hour,^note Said specific time keeps changing, from on the hour, to 55 past, to half past, to 25 past... the chat bot that RED Engineer set up will tweet one of several lines involving scolding RED Soldier. So, when Femgie said "soldier no" to Soldier at exactly 55 past (the time at that point where Engineer's chat bot would go off), everyone assumed this to be the case.
• Conveniently Common Kink: A surprising number of the mercs definitely show Robosexual and sadomasochistic tendencies.
  Femgie: mechanophilia is real and it is out there.
• Cool Car: RED Heavy has a massive construction vehicle that is more accurately described as a very large truck, able to crush cars with ease (cutting him off isn't very smart).
• Cultured Badass: In addition to possessing several large guns, RED Heavy has a degree in Russian Literature, enjoys art and high quality alcohol.
• Demonic Possession: Bidwell, Red Heavy, Femscout, Blu Medic, SpyHead, and Jerry were all possessed by demons who seemed to control shadows. Blu Heavy and Fem!Red Scout often spoke of darkness, but Fem!Red Scout also claimed they were of light.
• Distaff Counterpart: Played with. The opposite sex counterparts of various characters play this straight appearance-wise. However, they have very different personalities, relationships, and abilities when compared to each other.
• Drowning My Sorrows: Many group members turn to alcohol out of frustration, or when excess fourth wall breaking occurs.
  Femgie: ok while all yall are having coffee im drowning my crushed expectations in alcohol
• Embarrassing Nickname / Affectionate Nickname:
  • BLU SpyHead: Spyborg- in reference to his android-like body.
  • RED Heavy Weapons Guy frequently attaches "tiny" or "baby" when referring to individuals, though it varies from person to person. Ms. Pauline is referred to as "Purple Lady", TentaSpy is referred to as "Tiny Squidspy", depending on how TentaSpy is acting, etc.
  • Femscout calls RED Heavy Weapons Guy "big guy".
  • Femspy, when they were together, had a habit of calling Femscout "good girl" but has switched to Kenny after learning Femscout's first name.
  • "Janie Cakes", to RED Soldier.
  BLU Engineer: its alright Janie cakes...
  (...)
  BLU Engineer: alright but i don't wanna crush your hand
  RED Soldier: you won't i'm tough
  BLU Demoman: yeah janie cakes is hella tough and rough
  RED Soldier: tavish degroot you're a dead man

  BLU Engineer: (after hearing that RED Soldier's nickname was going to be brought back to make this page) Janie-Cakes returns.
  BLU Demoman: Actually feel bad about nagging him looking back on it haha
  BLU Engineer: Janie-Cakes reins supreme. Be proud darlin'. I am.
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Many of the characters who only were referred to as their class name have been given full names, in addition to those whose names have been revealed in canon.
  • RED Soldier: Jane Doe
  • BLU Engineer: Dell Conagher
  • Fem!RED Engineer: Annie Williams
  • BLU Sniper: Leonard
  • Fem!RED Soldier: Virginia
  • Fem!RED Scout: Kenzi
  • BLU Heavy: Viktor
  • BLU SpyHead: Patrice
  • Sandwich: Eugene
  • Bread: Wheatly
  • Fem!BLU Spy: Clémentine Bonnefoy
  • Fem!RED Medic: Matilda Jeager
  • Miss Pauling: Rose
  • Mr. Pauling: Gabriel
  • BLU Medic: Dennis
  • TentaSpy: Christophe
• The Faceless: Both the BLU Pyro character and their mun. During Mundays^note Every Monday, the muns take a selfie of themselves and post it OOC, Pyro-mun will dress up as a BLU Spy, with a mask saying BLU Pyro.
• First-Name Basis: RED Soldier accidentally called Femgie by her first name when he feared for her life. Since they aren't even supposed to know the others' names in the first place, calling another merc by their first name is rather intimate in the group, so it came as even more of a shock. Now with her addition to RED Soldier and BLU Engineer's relationship, she's started calling them by their first names, as have they with each other; Engineer, Femgie, and Soldier have become Dell, Annie, and Jane.
  Soldier: WHAT
  Soldier: ANNIE WHERE ARE YOU
  Femgie: -respawns- um. -waves at- this... yeah, this is working. hi
  Soldier: oh. god. okay. you're okay.
  Femgie: so, uh...
  Femgie: we're on real name-basis now?
  • As of recent, nearly all of the couples have been calling each other by their first names.
• Florence Nightingale Effect: BLU Medic and TentaSpy.
• Gender Bender: Happened to TentaSpy, brought on by simple curiosity and a discussion with the in-house wizard and plot device-bringer, Merasmus. Also temporarily happened to all of the mercs when Hale read one of Merasmus' spells.
• Glorious Mother Russia: Both the RED and BLU Heavy hail from Russia.
• Hallucinations: BLU Medic occasionally sees things others do not see. Occasionally does things (including stabbing himself and killing a nurse)without knowing, only to find out after the deed is done.
• Hearing Voices: A few characters, like TentaSpy, have been noted as hearing voices, (which usually means the OOC chatter).
  • TentaSpy "hears" the OOC text the most clearly in addition to the voices he regularly hears as a result of his waxing and waning mental stability.
  • BLU Medic shows signs of psychosis and occasionally hears and sees things as a result.
  • Bread has been able to hear the OOC talk since they became a god.
  • RED Soldier hears, among other things, the OOC talk. Most of the time, he ignores it, as a bunch of giggling teenagers is easier to ignore than the rest of the mental voices he has to deal with.
• Heartbreak And Icecream: Mentioned by Femscout-mun as a way for Femscout to get over Femspy.
• Hidden Depths: Femscout was a fan of classical literature, poetry, and was an exceptional cook. Also excelled at gymnastics and ballet as a child.
• Hopeless Suitor: Styx, the fairy living inside BLU Pyro's cosmetic bag (though referred to as a clutch in the network), to Femmedic, who is engaged to Femspy.
• Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Heavy (6'5") and Femscout (5')
• Hurricane of Puns: Bread-based puns, generally. It doesn't take much to get them going; the trouble is getting them to stop. The group also spent several hours making bad bee puns.
• I Am Not Weasel: Certain non-human characters here are often victim of misidentification, though it is usually intentional at this point.
  • Bread- There was much debate over what to call their "beauty marks" and even what the preferred gender was.
  • Clutch/Styx- While actually being a pixie, she is still called "Clutch" from time to time. She was originally misidentified as a purse. TentaSpy intentionally calls her anything except "Clutch", ranging from loofah, wallet, shoe, and even lanière (thong).
  • TentaSpy - Often mistaken as being half octopus. He's simply gotten tired of correcting people most of the time.
• IAMA Humanitarian:TentaSpy exclusively eats meats, the most common being human flesh. BLU Medic once gave himself a taste for flesh with a mysterious serum. He locked himself into his lab for a few days after taking a trip to Teufort and returning coated in blood.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Whenever something bad happens, something weird happens, or a character is simply stressed, this is the immediate reaction. It's come to a point where many characters have a go-to drink for this case.
  • Jerry's quest to buy the 99-for-$99 pack of Peacemaker Anytime Ale.
    • It reached a level where, during the summer, nearly every Wednesday most of the group spent the entire day drinking very heavily.
• The Insomniac: SpyHead sleeps at irregular times of the day for short ammounts of time. This is due to the mun's timezone and own insomnia.
  • Similarly, TentaSpy was known as the one person that's always online, even if they're not posting. Most think he has insomnia, but the real reason is due to the fact that he's trying to keep a diurnal schedule while actually being crepuscular. His mun keeps a similar schedule.
• In-Series Nickname: Femgie, which is an In-Series Nickname for Femgie, which is an In-Series Nickname for Fem!Engineer, which is an In-Series Nickname for Female Engineer... you see where this is going.
• Interspecies Adoption: BLU Pyro adopted Styx, a 2048-year-old pixie who lived inside his cosmetic bag. Maggie and Sniper also adopted her, but once Pyro got offended by this, they became something of a supportive aunt and uncle.
  • Femgie (and, by association, BLU Engineer and RED Soldier) adopted the sentient Level 3 Dispenser, who was built by the RED Engineer, because he was never online anymore.
• Irrational Hatred: For some reason, Femgie gets pissed at everything Jerry does. Maybe just because she doesn't like it.
• It May Help You on Your Quest: A few years back, the RED Soldier stole a coffee mug and an ID badge from an Aperture Laboratories employee. While it wasn't the most impressive trophy choice, having that ID badge on hand let him break back into Aperture much later on to rescue Femgie.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: TentaSpy. While cold to nearly every single character in the network, he dotes over his partner, BLU Medic.
• Kindhearted Cat Lover: BLU Engineer, with seven cats (Tinkerbelle is the mother, one of the kittens is named Kevin), two of which have been put on hold to be adopted by Helen (naming her's Satan) and Spyborg (naming his Lucifer). Femgie has a kitten, named Daisy. ^note Word of God says that this is not a reference to 2001, but a reference to IBM 704. Bidwell has five cats: Katrina and Ike, the parents, and Hazel, Charlie, Sandy.
• Kidnapped Scientist: Femgie was once Once was kidnapped by Aperture Science., where the rest of her right arm was removed. This was resolved as that from a previous incident, Aperture knew she had a prosthetic, and decided to take her for prosthetic research. What they didn't realize was that the prosthetic they were going to give her was for an entire right arm, and she had only lost her hand. So, her right arm was amputated, and she woke up and was rescued by RED Soldier before they could've given her a new prosthetic.
• Lilliputians: Styx, who is 4 inches tall.* Never Gets Drunk: Femgie can't exactly explain her immunity. Her mun can - she can't write drunk people well, so she just doesn't try.
• Love Triangle:
  • Styx loves Femmedic, while Femedic and Femspy are in a relationship, and Femmedic only thinks of Styx as a friend.
  • FemScout liked FemSpy but she and Femedic are already in a relationship.
• Man of a Thousand Voices: TentaSpy mimic the voice of any man, woman, or animal. Speech mimicry tends to have an eerie gurgling sound akin to a punctured lung. This is much worse with female voices.
• Mix-and-Match Critters: TentaSpy; half BLU Spy, half squid.

• Obviously Evil: RED Medic is role-played in this manner.

  Medic: has it occurred to you that the first time i slaughtered everyone on blu team i didn't know they'd respawn

  Medic: brb gonna find out if u can replace blood with a careful mixture of plasma and toxic waste

• Musical Episode: At one point, RED Soldier and RED Demoman decided to stage a two-man production of Pippin, trading characters as necessary.
• Only Known by Their Nickname: Femgie's real name is Annie Sylvia^note Caterpillars by The Handsome Family Williams.
• Oops! I Forgot I Was Married: RED Heavy Weapons Guy notes that "they have already gotten divorced" when replying to Hale's "Let's Get Married" tweet, Hale comically says "but we've never gotten married." Heavy Weapons Guy notes that he still gets alimony, and apologizes for pawning off his grandmother's ring.

• Professionals Do It on Desks: UST between RED Heavy and the BLU Spy was firmly resolved on having sex on the desk of the Mr. Pauline.

• Reveille: RED Soldier used to do this at 6 AM most mornings, even to those who were already awake, to the hatred of most.
• Robosexual: Femgie, Femscout, The Administrator, and mentioned offhand by TentaSpy.
  Merasmus: ...because I'm not fucking a robot...
  TentaSpy: Alright, I see the logic, robots can be fun tho.
• Running Gag: Jerry having a "Dr. Pepper dick" and being a Bad Weenie.
• Rule 63: The FemMercs; Femgie^note Fem!Engineer Femmedic, Femspy, Femsolly^note Fem!Soldier, and Mr.Pauling.
  • See Gender Bender.
• Self-Surgery: Blu Medic has a habit of this, both out of necessity and entertainment.
• Shout-Out:
  • Femgie often mentions in and out of character her love of Evil Dead.
  • Spyborg's prosthetic body looks like a human-sized Striker Eureka.
  • Jerry's prosthetic arm was modeled after Bucky's.
  • Jerry and Femgie (as well as their muns) are fans of Blitzen Trapper, specifically Black River Killer and Evening Star. Both have posts liked by Blitzen Trapper, and both got rather excited when realizing this.
  • Femgie also repeatedly mentions OOC her love of the playlists Army Dreamers and Battle Born, saying she can't draw Helmet Party/fem helmets or Soldier/Femsoldier without listening to it or a specific song that is on either of those playlists, respectively.
  • Saxton Hale switches between loving and hating The Beatles, while his mun has openly admitted that they are a fan.
  • Femscout is named after Kenzi from Lost Girl.
  • Bread is named after Wheatly from Portal
  • Femspy's second name was thought to come from Francis Bonnefoy(France) from Hetalia: Axis Powers. Later on the mun revealed it was the name of one of their family members who's from France.
  • Femmedic is named after the Matilda, and her last name comes from the main character in the Attack on Titan, Eren Jeager.
  • BLU Pyro has mentioned that they are interested in the security guard job in Five Nights at Freddy's. They also know about how the famous Markiplier has 'worked there before', admitting they envy/hate him for getting the job they have been trying to get for some time. While Pyro shows negative emotions for him, Pyro's mun has openly admitted to be a huge fan of Markiplier numerous times, and has even made more members of the network fans of him.
• Sickeningly Sweethearts: Depending on who you ask, quite a few of the network relationships can fall under this.
• The Insomniac: TentaSpy has become this, but rarely speaks up about it.
  • SpyHead and his mun, largely due to timezones.
  • BLU Pyro and Femspy , though they stay quiet, they are known to be active at night due to their timezones.
• The Shrink: The RED Heavy falls under Type 3 for a few people in the network.
• Smarter Than You Look: RED Soldier will occasionally break the rocket-crazed maniac routine, even going so far as to imply he speaks French.
• Smart People Play Chess / Crazy People Play Chess: RED Heavy and BLU Heavy play frequently, as well as occasionally RED Heavy and TentaSpy.
• Third Law of Gender-Bending: What Femgie assumes TentaSpy was acting like when he was magicked into a female. He, in turn, tells her his change in personality was only result of genetics, as male squids are apparently more aggressive than female squids.
• Third-Person Person: The RED Heavy Weapons Guy frequently begins Heavy Weapons Guy's tweets with Heavy Weapons Guy, or simply Heavy. See also Verbal Tic.
• Three Chords and the Truth / The Four Chords of Pop: Nearly quoted by Femgie, when teaching Femsoldier how to play guitar.
  Femgie: i bet you can think of tons of songs that go like that^note G D Em C, yeah?
  Femsolly: Yeah. A lot of country songs.
  Femgie: country's made up of four chords and the truth, as they say.
• Three-Way Sex: Obviously. One of the more 'normal' relationships in the network is a polyamorous one: RED Soldier, Femgie, and BLU Engineer.
• Vacation Episode: Las Vegas, Las Vegas a second time, Hawaii, and Paris. Additionally, Femgie and RED Soldier twice found themselves escaping Aperture Science.
• Viva Las Vegas!: Both times the network made a trip to Vegas ended in sex, murder, and heavy drinking.
• We Can Rebuild Him: Spyborg. Went from a severed BLU Spy head in RED Medic's fridge kept alive by phlebotinum, to a Cyborg with an entire prosthetic body, built by Femgie.
• Wine Is Classy: When most of the cast was in Paris, Femspy, Femgie and RED Heavy enjoyed wine while being their classy selves.
• Would Hurta Child: BLU Heavy has thrown several teenagers onto buildings from ground level and has admitted to feeling compelled to eat small and/or cute things, including children.
  • It is generally assumed that leaving TentaSpy with a child (or any other small creature) is unsafe, due to his cannibalistic tendencies. He jokingly offers his babysitting services to Mags and Sniper knowing full well that no one will trust him with the baby. However, he is quite fond of Olivia and has expressed interest in children of his own.
• Wrench Wench: Femgie, to the extent that her mun drew her wearing a modified version of Winry's outfit.
• You Said You Couldn't Dance: Despite saying he couldn't dance, BLU Heavy ended up being surprisingly good once BLU Demo coerced him into it.
• Yuri Fan: Femspy's supply of yuri gifs is endless.
  Femgie: (to Femspy) how do you have so many yuri gifs

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