Characters / (Un)Fortunate Me

Heroes

Adele Skye Becker

The protagonist and narrator of the book.

• Picked Last: Mainly because she fails at "running, dancing, and basically anything involving throwing a ball".

Delilah Zinnia Horton

Adele's snarky and lazy (but likable) best friend.

• Freudian Excuse: Being the Unfavorite in her family may be why she's such a bitch sometimes.

• The Unfavorite: In her family, where she's constantly criticized. If that's not happening, she's ignored.

Brooke Penn

A cheerful, optimistic and compassionate animal rights activist.

• Dumb Blond: While she is not very dumb, she is easily the most clueless main character.

• Ms. Imagination: She's a hopeless romantic, and even has Patrick and Adele's love story planned out.
• Shipper on Deck: She supports Patrick/Adele and wants them to be together.

Alec Wilder

Delilah's eighth-grader crush, a musician.

• Official Couple: Gets together with Fala, for a little while.
• Reason Before Honor: He has no problem at all with hiring a few seniors to jump Sophia (who is a sixth grader) if she gives Adele too much trouble.

Villains

Sophia Blank

The antagonist. A mean girl.

• Alpha Bitch: She the popular, mean girl at the school.

• Even Evil Has Standards: She wouldn't make fun of Patrick once she finds out his dad died.

• Pet the Dog: When Patrick's dad dies, she's quick to offer help if he needs it.

• With Friends Like These...: She tends to push around and insult her "friends".

Lyn Patterson

Second-in-command to Sophia.

• With Friends Like These...: One has to wonder why she and Sophia are even friends, which Delilah lampshades.

Minor Characters

Milo Becker

Adele's older brother

• Beta Couple: Compared to all the ship teases, crushes, and relationships of the other characters, he and Saffron have a much more stable relationship.

• Official Couple: He dates Saffron.

Mr. Horton

Delilah's father

• What Does He See in Her?: A Jerkass Stage Mom with a Pride problem. An easy-going Nice Guy who is very loving. They're married, and have five kids together. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Mr. and Mrs. Horton.

Piper May Horton

The oldest Horton daughter.

• The Ace: She's a pageant queen, violin player, and studies earlier than is necessary.

Phoebe Cleo Horton

The third-oldest Horton daughter. One year Delilah's junior.

• Annoying Younger Sibling: In Delilah's eyes. She is one year younger than Delilah and thinks she's very annoying.

• Breakout Character: First was offhandedly mentioned, then briefly introduced. She's now set up to be a major character.
• Spotlight-Stealing Squad: In-Universe - She gets all the attention once she comes to Phoenix.

Clara Eloise Horton

The second-youngest Horton daughter.

• Only Sane Man: Only Sane Daughter. We have stuck-up beauty queen Piper May, snarky Delilah, Attention Whore Phoebe, and space cadet Nicola Clara is... normal.

Hannah Bats

One of Sophia's friends. Notably kinder than both of her friends.

• Sticky Fingers: It's revealed that she has kleptomania.
• With Friends Like These...: With the way Sophia and Lyn act, one has to wonder why she's stuck around this long.

Holly Evers

The sportiest girl in Adele's grade.

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