Meet the Quires.
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Stephen Quire
"Screw you."
The main subject of the freakout videos. As the titles would imply, Stephen freaks out over a variety of things, often resulting in him breaking something.
- Animals Hate Him: Like the humans, he is also attacked by animals sometimes. Episode 7 ended with him being attacked by a dog after breaking a vacuum cleaner.
- The feeling seems to also be mutual as 18 reveals that he hates cats.
- Anti-Villain: There are times where he wants peace but Jack’s antics prevent him from getting it. When his niece consistently screamed over her tooth hurting, it's justified he was annoyed by this and by everyone ignoring her.
- Berserk Button: Touching him, preventing him from playing MMORPGs, telling him to do housework, calling him gay, interrupting what he's doing at the time, having Jack videotape him, the list goes on.
- Finding out that Jesse Ridgway (McJuggerNuggets) not only faked the whole Psycho Series, but based several Psycho videos on several of his own freakouts, which he feels is a mockery.
- Big Bad: Of the videos, excluding 2, 4, 16, 23, 26, 27, and 45.
- Butt-Monkey: THE butt monkey of nearly everyone in every episode, including obviously Jack.
- Character Catchphrase: Plenty, including...
- "I DON'T CARE!"
- "SHUT UP!"
- "GET OUT OF MY FACE!"
- "SCREW YOU!"
- "OH MY GOD!"
- "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!"
- "DON'T TOUCH ME!"
- "Your little internet friends!"
- Dirty Coward: Stephen talks a lot of crap to other people, but whenever they stand up to him and threaten physical altercation, he's reduced to a whining mess and forced to scurry away.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He hates heavy cussing.
- Everything Breaks: When Stephen gets mad, expect to see him break something. The truck in 3, the microwave in 5, the vacuum in 7, a TV in 11, and even The Happiest Company's office decor in 13, to name a few.
- Fanboy: Of Batman, if his custom-made Batmobile is any indication.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: You have no idea. He has destroyed property when he didn't get his way and is frequently screaming at his family.
- Hated by All: With his short temper and occasional bouts of irrationality, it's little wonder why no one likes Stephen. He's constantly subjected to abuse from his own family, especially Jack, and his wife is not above mocking him. In his campaign to become mayor, none of the interviewees have anything positive to say about him, either expressing disinterest about him or reminiscing his past freak outs in a derisive light. Stephen's not even safe from animals, who occasionally attack him.
- Hates Being Touched: One of his biggest triggers is being touched. This gets him pepper-sprayed in episode 11.
- Hidden Depths: In 23, he built a Batmobile from scratch, and it's actually pretty amazing. He's also a pretty decent artist, and he can cook very well.
- Jerkass: His spoiled and violent behavior is why Jack video-tapes him in the first place. And he has no respect for his family.
- Jerkass Has a Point: He's completely right to call out Jack for his invasive filming.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Sometimes.
- In "A VERY, VERY, VERY annoying Stephen", he is having a genuinely sweet and fun time with his family for once.
- He cries when listening to Off the grid by Kanye West, saying it is because he has emotions.
- He cares very much about the well-being of his son Rogan, which can be seen in 39, 45, and various livestreams.
- Large Ham: Whenever he freaks out he has a tendency to go into a ridiculously loud voice. This aspect seems to have gotten more apparent in the later videos, where he starts screeching like a pterodactyl.
- Never My Fault: On the livestreams, Stephen maintains that Jack is the sole instigator of his freakouts and sees himself as The Woobie.
- No Indoor Voice: He doesn't so much say sentences as he does scream them.
- Not Me This Time: Despite him being the Big Bad, he is completely innocent of any wrongdoing in 2, 4, 16, 23, 26, 27, and 45. In those, Jack is actually the main instigator. Though Stephen still broke the guitar in 4 and smashed the table in 45.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: He sometimes makes and uses homophobic slurs and remarks.
- Psychopathic Manchild: The things he flies off the handle about include his mom canceling his World of Warcraft account and not being able to get the Chaotic Crossbow in RuneScape because his dad turned the internet off.
- Sanity Slippage: While he's always technically been insane, Stephen was more or less a young man with bad anger issues and occasionally Cloudcuckoolander tendencies in the original videos. As the videos progressed, and especially post-2021, his Cloudcuckoolander tendencies became exaggerated by comically incalculable proportions.
- Sore Loser: In #8, he loses it at Jack for beating him at Guitar Hero.
- In #9, he refuses to believe that UFC's Anderson Silva is beating Forrest Griffin and punches out the panels on his door.
- Spoiled Brat: If you look at the Quire household, you'd see that it's quite a large property and that it's pretty beautiful. Stephen, on the other hand, is more interested in what they don't have.
- Teens Are Monsters: He was a teenager when the series first started.
- Verbal Tic: He tends to pepper his vocabulary with the word "frickin'".
- Villain Protagonist: He's the main focus of the series and is a huge Jerkass with a short temper.
- Would Hurt a Child: In episode 30, Stephen forcibly yanks his niece's loose tooth out, fed up with her constant complaining about the pain.
- Ungrateful Bastard: When Jesse from McJuggerNuggets came to visit his family, he believed it was mockery, berated Jesse, and ruined their dinner and visit not realizing he was someone's creative inspiration nor does he value their visitor's time. Even Jesse was appalled by Stephen's behavior.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Has an irrational fear of cats in episode 18.
Jack Quire
"Stephen, what're you doing?"
Jack is Stephen's brother, and the filmer of his freakouts. He's usually very mischievous and happy in the videos.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: He sometimes intentionally tries to annoy Stephen.
- Big Bad: In 2, 4, 16, 23, 26, 27, and 45, where he deliberately tries to annoy Stephen and push him over the edge.
- Character Catchphrase:
- "Okay..."
- "Stephen, what're you doing?"
- Jerkass: He posts videos of his brother's freak outs for people to laugh at. Also, he deliberately antagonizes Stephen sometimes.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Has his moments with Stephen:
- In 31 when he sabotaged Stephen's trip to the swap meet, he chewed Stephen out for wrongfully selling random things from around the house.
- In 41, he locked Stephen in a chicken coop when he angrily tried to go to Town Hall with a chainsaw, citing how dangerous he could've been had he went.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He does get along with the rest of the family and he's usually the one who tries to stop Stephen from breaking anything.
- Karmic Trickster: When Stephen tries to pawn off his family's possessions at a swap meet, Jack steals his keys and pretends to throw them in the snow to make him look for them while he locks Stephen out of the house.
- Laser-Guided Karma:
- After teasing and humiliating his brother for so long, it's hard to blame Stephen when he destroys Jack's TV.
- He also gets karma in video 16 when Stephen chucks an egg at him for pestering him while he was cooking dinner for the family.
- Mr. Exposition: Explains to us the situation at the beginning of every video.
- Mr. Fanservice: In the later videos, he's actually gotten quite attractive. Downplayed, since he doesn't show a lot of skin.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: If he doesn't laugh at Stephen's freakout, you know that something's wrong. E.G. In episode 13, he tries to get Stephen to stop smashing the entire headquarters of The Happiest Company.
David Quire
- Abusive Parents: He often threatens to kick Stephen's ass whenever he acts up. Several episodes have ended with him chasing Stephen, and in 14, he shoves Stephen into the pool.
- Big Bad: Could be viewed as this in video 14, considering that he caused Stephen's freakout by not caring about Stephen's aquaphobia and pushes him into the pool.
- Character Catchphrase: "I'll kick your ass!"
- Jerkass: Has no respect for how hard Stephen's life is because of his temper. He's also not above pushing Stephen into a swimming pool.
- Jerkass Has a Point: In spite of how short tempered he can be when it comes to Stephen's behavior, he has occasionally made some good points:
- In 19, he wasn't wrong in making Stephen take the bus, given the implication that Stephen hadn't been responsible using his car by getting three speeding tickets in a six-month span.
- In 24, he rightfully points out how Stephen heavily undervalued his car and how it would be incredibly hard to get from Indiana to California in just two days.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: There are a few occasions where he helps Stephen:
- In 20, he chews out the boat captain for throwing Stephen in the water when he is unable to swim, then helps him try and get back on board.
- In 30, he tries to Stephen's sister from dragging Stephen into the water after Stephen pulled her daughter's tooth out.
- Voice-Only Cameo: Although his first physical appearance is in episode 3, he can first be heard at the end of 1 when he yells at Stephen to shut up.
Jennifer Quire
- Camera Abuse: Episodes 3 and 19 end with her wresting over Jack's camera to shut it off.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Her punishments such as grounding Stephen and taking away Jack's camera are well within reason, and she usually tries to talk some sense into them before actually punishing them.
- Skewed Priorities: Episodes 7 and 17 have her making Stephen do chores in spite of needing to leave the house for...something, rather than waiting until they return to do said chores.
- Team Mom: She just wants to have a nice family, but this can be tricky with the rest of the house's jerkass tendencies (especially Stephen's).
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: She canceled Stephen's World of Warcraft account. The rest is history.
- Women Are Wiser: She is the only woman who lives in the house, and certainly the one who is the most level-headed.
Betty Lou Quire
- Deadpan Snarker: How she shows discomfort with Stephen's behavior in 6, especially this last bit near the end:Betty: You got it up your ass too?
- Never Mess with Granny: Is the only one who ever managed to hit Stephen.
- One-Scene Wonder: She only appeared in one video, Episode 6. However that is due to her passing away years after the video aired.
