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Characters played by Matt Lucas
Andy PipkinA man who is wheelchair bound and is looked after by his friend Lou. But he's not actually paralyzed at all, and secretly gets out of his chair whenever Lou's back is turned.
- Ambiguous Disorder: He seems to have some type of developmental disability... or does he?
- Catch-Phrase: "I want that one," "Yeah, I know," and "I don't like it."
- Disability as an Excuse for Jerkassery
- Fat Bastard
- Jerk Ass
- Lazy Bum
- Obfuscating Disability
Vicky PollardA troubled teenage girl. Each sketch would involve her getting into trouble and trying to talk her way out of it. But she talks so fast that no-one can understand what she is saying. She also often goes off on tangents completely unrelated to the situation.
- Babysitter from Hell: She sent the child she was babysitting on an errand to get her cigarettes, whilst having a drunken party at the house. She still expected to be asked to babysit again by the boy's parents.
- Catch-Phrase: "Yeah, but, no, but, yeah, but, no, but you see what happened was that ...." and "Don't be giving me evils!"
- Motor Mouth: Really, it's a wonder the DVD subtitles can keep up with her.
- Teen Pregnancy: Has six kids by seven different men."But I never even had sex apart from that one time eight months ago, but apart from that I'm a complete virgin!"
- Insane Troll Logic: "Just because I have sex with someone doesn't mean I fancy them! I'm not a slag!"
Daffyd ThomasA self-proclaimed gay Welsh man. He spends his days at the local pub bemoaning how victimized he is for being "the only gay in the village", despite the fact that his village actually has a rather large gay community.
- Attention Whore: Everything must be centered on his nonexistent predicament of being a gay man in a village where homosexuality is not tolerated. He once tried to get a police officer to arrest him, simply for being gay.
- Catch-Phrase: Aside from the above, his opening line in a sketch is usually "Bacardi and Coke please, Myfanwy."
- Have I Mentioned I am Gay?
- Selective Obliviousness: Everyone Is Gay in Llandewi Breffi, but he flat-out refuses to acknowledge this.
Marjorie DawesA woman who runs Fatfighters, a Weight Watchers-like group, but instead of helping her group, she just bullies her group for being fat, despite being fat herself. She was based on the supervisor in a Weight Watchers group that Matt Lucas once attended.
- The Bully
- Big Eater: If her shopping cart is any indication.
- Catch-Phrase: "Hello, fatties!", "'Ave we got any neeeew members?", among several others.
- Fantastic Racism: She pretends not to understand what the indian member is saying, despite her not only speaking perfect english, but even better than Majorite.
- Hypocrite: She's certainly no slouch herself when it comes to being overweight.
- It's All About Me
- Jerk Ass
"Bubbles" DeVereBubbles is a morbidly obese lady who owes massive amounts of money to the bank, due to her lavish spending habits. She also thinks she can get out of her various troubles by seducing people.
- Catch-Phrase: "Call me Bubbles, darling, everybody does!" "Champagne, champagne for everyone!"
- Fan Disservice
- Full-Frontal Assault
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Desiree
Kenny CraigA stage hypnotist who typically uses his powers for his own benefit, from getting a woman to go on a date with him, to beating his elderly mother at a game of Scrabble.
- Catch-Phrase: "Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around the eyes, look into my eyes. (snaps fingers) You're under. (explains what he wants the person to do) 3,2,1............ (snaps fingers), you're back in the room."
- Mundane Utility: His hypnosis.
- Catch-Phrase: "Margaret! Margaret! There's a gentleman who wants to know if we (explains the thing Mr Mann wants)."
Characters played by David Walliams
- Catch-Phrase: "But I thought you said you love/hate (insert topic). You always said that (explains why Andy loves or hates that thing in the most detailed way.)", "Because once I (explain the thing Andy wants him to do and says he can't undo it)and that'll be a right kerfuffle." and "What a kerfuffle."
- He seems to be fond of the word "kerfuffle" in general.
- Nice Guy: He is almost inhumanly patient with Andy and his constant demands.
- Speech Impediment: A lisp.
Sebastian LoveThe Prime Minister's gay aide who has a huge crush on him.
- Big "WHAT?!": On a regular basis.
- Camp Gay
- Catch-Phrase: "Whatever!"
- Ignored Enamored Underling
- Jerk Ass: He's nice to the Prime Minister, but rude to everyone else.
Eddie "Emily" HowardA very unconvincing transvestite with outdated views on how women typically dress and behave. He's always seen wearing lacy, frilly Victorian-era dresses, and talks in a high-pitched falsetto voice about doing "ladylike" things.
- Catch-Phrase: "I'm a lady!"
- Catch-Phrase: "Who made this?"
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Strongly resembles Margaret Thatcher, combined with some serious racial issues.
- Racist Grandma: She's an elderly woman of obscenely racist inclinations. To the point she throws up upon being told she's eaten something that was prepared by a non-white chef.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: The core of her sketches is the repulsively detailed vomiting she undergoes upon being told she ate something that was cooked (or even handled) by someone who isn't white.
- Catch-Phrase: "Eh- eh- eh!"
- Man Child
- Obfuscating Insanity
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: "She's" clearly a man in a nightdress, and whenever "her" cell phone goes off Anne drops the charade and speaks perfectly normally to whoever's on the other end. Nobody else in the vicinity has ever commented on this.
- Catch-Phrase: "Computer Says No." Followed by a cough in the customers' faces.
- Jerk Ass
- Obstructive Bureaucrat
Dennis WatermanAn actor who is incredible tiny. He thinks that the people who want him to be in their shows want him to write and sing the theme tunes as well as star in them.
- Actor Allusion: The real Dennis Waterman, who this skit is taking the piss out of, actually did sing a show's theme tune.
- Catch-Phrase: "So they want me to star in it, write the feem toon, sing the feme toon."
- No Celebrities Were Harmed
- Catch-Phrase: "Hello, Martin, it's Linda. How can I describe him/ her? (explains the person in the rudest detail), that's right. The (calls the student a name)"
- Evil Sounds Raspy
- Jerk Ass
Ray McCooneyA weird Scottish hotel manager
Mr MannA customer who asks for impossible things.
- Catch-Phrase: "Hello. I would like a (asks for impossible thing.)" "That's alright. I'll wait."
- Creepy Monotone
Mrs EmryAn old lady who urinates herself without knowing.
DesireeBubbles' arch nemesis
The Prime MinisterThe PM who has no idea Sebastian has a crush on him.
- Bi the Way: Has several gay encounters while being married to his wife, namely Gregory and the President of the United States (in Little Britain Abroad)
- Only Sane Man
MyfanwyThe barmaid in the village of Llandewi Breffi, and Daffyd's best friend.
Roman DeVereBubbles' ex husband who is married to Desiree. He has a thing for fat women.
- Chubby Chaser: The sole reason he divorced Bubbles was because she lost weight.