Bread Eggs Milk Squick / Music

• "Nothing But Sunshine" by Atmosphere starts out discussing the narrator's troubled childhood and how he has developed into a well-adjusted adult nonetheless, until he mentions that he enjoys recreationally murdering cows with his bare hands. The song then becomes a brief skit in which we hear him do just that.
• The Axis of Awesome has a song called "How To Numbers 1-3", which tells you how to bake a scone, how to catch a duck, and how to kill a hooker.
• Jonathan Coulton:
  • "The Future Soon" starts as a slice-of-life love story where the nerdy narrator fails to attract the girl he loves. It ends with him fantasizing about returning home as a cyborg Mad Scientist and turning her into his robot bride.
  • "Re: Your Brains" starts with this simple conversation:
  Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall.
  Good to see you, buddy. How've you been?
  Things have been okay for me, except that I'm a zombie now
  I really wish you'd let us in.
• The tone of The Decemberists' "July, July!" abruptly changes in the first verse:
  "There is a road that meets the road that goes to my house
  And how the green grows there
  And we've got special boots to beat the path to my house
  And it's careful and it's careful when I'm there
  And I say your uncle was a crooked French Canadian
  And he was gut-shot running gin
  And how his guts were all suspended in his fingers
  And how he held 'em, how he held 'em, held 'em in"
  • Also "The Chimbley Sweep", which starts as a tragic song about the hard life of, well, a chimney sweep, and suddenly veers into paedophile-esque Bawdy Song territory in the final verse:
    "O lonely urchin," the widow cried
    "I've not been swept since the day my husband died!"
    Her cheeks a-blushin', her legs laid bare,
    And shipwrecked there I'll shake you from your sleep
  • And "Yankee Bayonet":
    "Heart-carved tree-trunk, Yankee bayonet, a sweetheart left behind"
    "Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas, that's where my true love lies"
    "Look for me when the sun-bright swallow sings upon the birch-bough high"
    "But you are in the ground with the wolves and the weevils all a-chew on your bones so dry"
  • "Los Angeles, I'm Yours" starts out being about how wonderful Los Angeles is, and then starts talking about "the smell of burnt cocaine, the dolour and decay". Also, in the second verse:
  "You ladies pleasant and demure
  Sallow-cheeked and sure
  I can see your undies"
  • The Decemberists are the kings of squick in their songs in GENERAL. May I direct you to The Rake's Song.
  "Charlotte I buried after feeding her foxglove
  Dawn was easy, she was drowned in the bath
  Isaiah fought but was easily bested
  Burned his body for incurring my wrath"
  • In the last verse of the same song, the narrator insisted that killing his three children doesn't really bother him at all.
• "Weinerschnitzel", by Descendents, consists of a 13-second fast food order. The order seems normal enough, until the counter guy asks if the purchaser wants sperm with that.
• 2D, the slightly dim singer/keyboardist of Gorillaz, once introduced himself in a radio interview with "Hi, my name is 2D, and I'm the singer, and I need the toilet..." Murdoc calmly announcing during an interview that "I hit puberty at eight and lost my virginity to a dinner lady at nine and I've been in a bad mood ever since" possibly also falls under this heading, whether or not he was telling the truth.
• The song "Diane" by Hüsker Dü surely qualifies. The first verse:
  Hey little girl, wanna go for a ride?
  There's room and my wagon is parked right outside
  We can cruise down Robert Street all night long
  But I think I'll just rape you and kill you instead
• Jethro Tull: Before a live performance of "A Christmas Song", Ian Anderson does one of these:
  "[Christmas] is not a time for heavy drinking, over-eating, and casual sex with farm animals, that's out of the question!"
• Tom Lehrer enjoys this:
  • "My Home Town" begins with idyllic reminiscences of his home town and quickly slides into recalling "the man who took a knife/and monogrammed his wife".
  • "Be Prepared" exhorts Boy Scouts to be prepared for all situations...such as smoking dope and pimping out their own sisters.
  • "I Hold Your Hand in Mine" sounds romantic, up to the lyrics "My joy would be complete, dear/If only you were here/But still I keep your hand/As a precious souvenir." And: "I hold your hand in mine, dear/I press it to my lips/I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips".
  • His song "The Old Dope Peddler" sings admirably of the cornerstone of any neighborhood, the Heroin Dealer.
  • "I Wanna Go Back To Dixie" does this as well. It's mostly an almost sweet, happy song about wanting to go back home...but it's after he includes the line "Ol' times there are not forgotten/Whuppin' slaves and selling cotton" that it gets dark.
  • "Poisoning Pigeons In The Park" starts off like a lovely ode to springtime and young love, but when he suddenly starts the chorus, the song takes a major left turn into this trope, along with some Soundtrack Dissonance because of the song still being sung the same way, despite the lyrics.
• The Lemon Demon song "Ode to Crayola" begins as a cute tribute song to goofily-named Crayola crayons. Then it turns weird:
  I'm gonna rise at dawn, with no clothes on, and color on my skin
  Colors of life and love, from Heaven above, absolve me of my sin
• Lil Dicky's Professional Rapper ends with Snoop Dogg's receptionist offering him "coffee, tea, head, bottled water?" (After asking what kinds of tea she has, he changes his mind and goes with head.)
• The Lonely Island:
  • "Like a Boss" is a list of events in the eponymous boss's average day at work. The events start out mundane ("talk to corporate, approve memos...") but grow increasingly disturbing and improbable as the song goes on, eventually ending with him turning into a jet, bombing the Russians, and flying into the sun. The person reviewing the boss correctly points out that he "chops [his] balls and die[s]" every day.
  • "After Party" is sort of a Spiritual Successor to the above, where the narrator describes being caught in a cycle of living a lifestyle of debauchery, giving it up, then falling back into his old habits again - habits that start out with mundane things like drinking and partying but eventually involve drinking snake blood and slithering in the dirt or losing his hand in a game of craps. They even lampshade the similarities, since both songs refer to having sex with giant fish in sewers.
• Lonestar's "No News" does this when listing off possible outcomes for a departed lover:
  She missed her bus, missed her plane
  Surely, this can be explained
  Lost her car at the mall
  Got locked in a bathroom stall
  Joined a cult, joined the Klan...
• Stephen Lynch's "Best Friend's Song" starts off as friendly telling of the differences among friends, and descends into a confession of wanting to take part in violent sex with the other friend's pubescent sister. His whole career is built on this trope.
• Tim Minchin's song "If I Didn't Have You" features a claim that love grows with time, "like a flower, or a mushroom, or a guinea pig, or a vine, or a sponge, or bigotry...or a banana."
  • Minchin has an entire song devoted to this trope: "If You Really Loved Me", which follows its title line with "you'd let me video you while you wee" and also includes this pearler:
    We go together like crackers and Brie
    Like racism and ignorance
    Like niggers and RnB
  • Minchin's poem "Angry (Feet)" quickly descends into this as the somewhat shy narrative becomes marked with shouted expletives and Freudian slips, revealing that the narrator is a recovering mental patient with a hair-trigger temper, a much-despised family, and a love of guns and porn. The whole thing concludes with the point of the poem... this:
    And my (QUACK!) Doctor would be proud
    Because I feel a lot less angry
    And I'm saying stuff out loud
    And I'm letting anger out
    Like today in our last session
    When I taught the quack a lesson
    'Cause he said I'm not progressin'
    Said I wasn't moving forward
    So I said "Let's see how you move without your fuckin' legs"
    And I tied him to his chair
    And I pulled out my machete
    And I listened to him beg
    And then I cut his fuckin' feet off
    While he laid there bleeding
    I used his feet to kick him in the head
• Oingo Boingo had a couple of songs like this
  • In "Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me:"
    Have you heard about the Joneses, my, my, my
    It happened so quick and no one knows why
    Their teenage son, he seemed O.K.
    But his suicide ruined everyone's day.
  • And their song "Whole Day Off:"
    Have you seen my garden?
    It is most peculiar
    Have you seen my garden?
    Nothing there that grows looks anything at all like plants
    I hear their voices—let's take the whole day off.
  • No Spill Blood mentions that if you break the rules, you get ridicule, laughter, and a trip to the house of pain. (Well, it is a Shout-Out to The Island of Doctor Moreau...)
• The first verse of "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam seems to describe a pretty normal kid, right up to the last line:
  "At home
  Drawing pictures
  Of mountain tops
  With him on top
  Lemon yellow sun
  Arms raised in a V
  The dead lay in pools of maroon below"
• Psychostick's song We Ran Out of CD Space includes this, as well as Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking in the previous verse.
  What if guitars could shoot out sour cream/and nacho cheese/and pure sulfuric acid?
  • Psychostick's song "Grocery Escape Plan" also includes one of these. The singer's grocery list includes, "Chips, peas, corn, cheese...Porn... and Spaghetti-o's".
• In "Sounds Like War" by P.O.D.:
  Sounds like it's war to me:
  Peace, love and casualties.
• It's hard to tell what R.E.M. was singing about in "I Remember California", especially at the time, but one song's narrator reminisces thusly:
  I remember redwood trees
  Bumper cars and wolverines.
  The ocean's Trident submarines
• Rapple Pi's album Money, Women, Poptarts, Goldfish is an example of this.
• The song "Prayer to God" by Shellac:
  To the one true God above, here is my prayer.
  Not the first you've heard, but the first I wrote
  (Not the first, but the others were a long time ago)
  There are two people here, and I want you to kill them.
• Simon & Garfunkel's "The Sun is Burning", which, for the first three verses is describing a nice day out in suburbia, but then...
  Now the sun as come to earth/Shrouded in a mushroom cloud of death...
  • And the singing is still very calm and peaceful.
• The theme song of Team America: World Police contains this verse:
  McDonald's! (fuck yeah!)
  Walmart! (fuck yeah!)
  The Gap! (fuck yeah!)
  Baseball! (fuck yeah!)
  The NFL! (fuck yeah!)
  Rock & Roll! (fuck yeah!)
  The Internet! (fuck yeah!)
  Slavery! (fuck yeah!)
• They Might Be Giants: The bridge section of "They'll Need a Crane"
  Don't call me at work again, I know the boss still hates me
  I'm just tired and I don't love you anymore
  And there's a restaurant we should check out
  Where the other nightmare people like to go
  I mean nice people, Baby, wait
  I didn't mean to say "nightmare"
• Australian band Tripod loves this trope. Examples include:
  • In the Countryside, a touching tale of freedom and finding yourself and stockpiling weaponry.
  • Let's Take a Walk starts with the lines:
  Let's take a walk, my love,
  Down by the river, my baby.
  Down where we used to go,
  Until the day when we found that body.
• This one's not exactly "squick", but it's still ending a list on a more dramatic note: the line in the traditional "The Unicorn Song" "Rats and cats and elephants, just as sure as you're born." Then again, seeing an elephant (not like that) is still more likely than seeing a unicorn.
• The Vandals' song "The New You", a story of how a guy's love has changed, does this quite horribly:
  Well now you say that you like me
  but you don't "like" like me.
  And you say that you love me but
  you're not "in love" with me
  And we should just be friends
  ...but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that
  you're not too friendly when you act like that.
  Should I smash your fucking head with a baseball bat?
  And dig around the brains and goo
  for something that looks like old you?
• In Voltaire's When You're Evil, the Card Carrying Villain Protagonist starts with a bunch of Poke the Poodle grade minor "evils", like being a fly in someone's soup or a pebble in their shoe, then out of nowhere talks about tripping elderly people down staircases.
• Logan Whitehurst's song "The Ice Cream Man" starts off innocently enough, with Logan walking down Main Street and looking for some ice cream. It just so happens that the eponymous ice cream man is there. Then this happens:
  Then I hear the voices in my head
  Whispering to me, "Kill, kill, kill the ice cream man"...
• "Weird Al" Yankovic
  • "Hardware Store" includes a long list of items that can be found at the eponymous establishment — including, apparently, "automatic circumcisers."
  • "Good Old Days". Presented as the sentimental nostalgic ramblings of the singer about his Norman Rockwell-style childhood, every verse ends with psychopathic assault against some innocent.
  • "Why Does This Always Happen To Me?", when Al talks about disturbing things happening around him without those things being the concern of the verse.
  • "I Remember Larry" recounts several pranks made upon the singer and the people of his town, which start out innocuous enough (okay, so the Ben-Gay in the jock-strap is kind of mean), and descends into somewhat less harmless ideas ("You know I couldn't help but laugh/Even though he treated me like slime/Remember when he cut my car in half?/Well, he really got me good that time!") and ends with the singer reminiscing cheerfully about how he broke into Larry's house, bound and gagged him, dragged him into the woods, stuffed him in a plastic bag, and left him for dead. Funny song, mostly.
  • Al's parody of "Complicated," which ends with the singer describing all of the problems that came after he decapitated himself on a roller coaster. (It was "quite a drag.")
  • From "Albuquerque"'s plane flight part:
    I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor,
    And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time,
    The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts,
    And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore!
    And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
    And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
    And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died... except for me!
  • "Do I Creep You Out?" Which opens up as a sweet love song and keeps to the sweet tune while the singer confesses all the creepy, stalkerish things he has done to the subject of his affections (Taking her gum out of the garbage, following her home from work).
  • And of course "One More Minute", a nice swinging doo-wop number..."So I pulled your name out of my rolodex/and tore all of our pictures in two/and I burned down the malt-shop where we used to go/just because it reminds me of youuuuu"
  • During the bridge of "Livin' in the Fridge", the singer suggests carbon-dating the mysterious fridge-dweller, then offers fumigation as an alternative and finally wonders if he should just burn it and scatter the ashes at sea.
  • "One of Those Days" is a constant back-and-forth between mundane inconveniences and increasingly serious problems. And increasingly frequent, to the point where the song evolves from this trope into Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking by the end.
  • Tacky is all about doing tacky things like threatening to leave a bad Yelp review at a restaurant or printing your resume in Comic Sans, then switches to "if I'm bit by a zombie, probably not telling you."
  • Following a bunch of goofy, remarkably specific horoscopes ("Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence!") in "Your Horoscope For Today", the horoscope for Sagittarius unexpectedly has:
  All your friends are laughing behind your back.
  Kill them.
• YouTube lists the gender and age of the 3 biggest audiences for each video under video statistics. Pretty much every music video by any female teen star will list the following 1: Female (13-17), 2: Female (18-25), 3: Male (35-44).
  • Maybe more Fridge Horror, if you consider that the guys in category 3 are about the age that their daughters (and their friends) will belong in category 1.