A story Ripped from the Headlines! Of 1996.
Duel 8: The Poison Man
(the bad part of town)
Jonouchi: Yugi! Honda! Let's go into this dark, scary looking alley.
Honda: This had better be some high-grade crack you're leading us to.
Jonouchi: This dealer has something even better! As we'll see inside this seedy-looking shop.
(Junky Scorpion shop)
Jonouchi: Genuine Air Muscle(tm) shoes! (No relation to Air Jordan(tm).) I'd sell my soul for these!
Honda: You dragged us all the way over here for sneakers?
Shop Owner: Hands off the merchandise, punks! Those are a one-of-a-kind pair.
Jonouchi: I gotta have these shoes! You know how hard it is to find sneakers that will withstand the strain of my constantly putting my foot in my mouth?
Shop Owner: You and every other wannabee in Domino City, dude. You gotta prove you have the right stuff to wear Air Muscle, like in America, where the kids fight to the death over them.
Jonouchi: Less talk, more selling.
Shop owner: Tell you what, let's play a game. I'll put this live scorpion in the sneaker. If you put your foot all the way in and live, I'll sell you the shoes.
Jonouchi: What is this, "Jackass, Tokyo Style"?
Yugi: This game is too dangerous!
Honda: You can have my shoes, Jonouchi!
Jonouchi: I must prove my straight manhood by taking the dare! (He does so.)
Shop Owner: Sucker! I palmed the scorpion so the shoe wouldn't get all squishy inside. For your bravery, you can have the sneakers for only $400 and tax.
Jonouchi: Sold! Just don't ask where I got the money, given I'm clearly dirt poor.
Shop Owner: By the way, there's a gang called Muscle Hunters that have been stealing kids' shoes. Be careful out there. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make a phone call.
(street)
Jonouchi: "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free...."
Honda: Earth, swallow me now.
Jonouchi: Burger time!
Muscle Hunters: Attack! Put this tire around his neck like in South Africa!
Honda and Yugi: Oh no! Jonouchi is getting beat up!
Muscle Hunters: And now that your backs are turned, so are you!
Muscle Hunters: We'll just take these rare shoes now. (they leave)
Jonouchi: Odd how they attacked less than two blocks away from the store. Must be a coincidence.
Honda: We must track that gang down and administer a righteous beating.
Jonouchi: Right!
Yugi: Can I come too?
Jonouchi: Yeah! There's nothing straight males enjoy more than beating up baddies together. Just let me and Honda do the heavy lifting.
(arcade)
Muscle Hunters: Now that we have money, let's blow it all on video games! At which we suck, by the way.
Jonouchi: I don't attack from behind, like you cowards, so I'll warn you I'm here.
Muscle Hunters: Aiiee! In a fair fight, we are helpless!
(Jonouchi and Honda kick butt)
Jonouchi: Gimme back my sneakers.
Muscle Hunters: Dude! Haven't you figured it out yet? The store owner is our boss. He has them.
Yugi: What a jerk, swindling people like that!
Millenium Puzzle: Flash! Swifter than Mercury!
(Junky Scorpion shop)
Shop Owner: Foolish shoe addicts! They'll pay any price I demand, as long as I make them think the sneakers are somehow special!
Yami: Unrestricted capitalism oppresses the working classes.
Shop Owner: Closed now, you little commie.
Yami: You are so busted. I know the Muscle Hunters work for you.
Shop Owner: Damn, if he tells, my street cred is shot. I know, I'll put my scorpion in the shoe, so when I offer it to him, the kid will get stung.
Shop Owner: Someone must have rescued these from those awful Muscle Hunters. Here, take the poiso—sneakers.
Yami: Oh dear, I seem to have dropped my loose change into the shoe. Let's play a game. We each take turns drawing out a coin (ten total) and hoping not to get stung. Most coins out wins.
Shop Owner: Okay, but if I win, you have to pay me 1,000 times the value of each coin.
(Yami goes first, then the Shop owner. Each picks up a coin.)
Shop Owner: This game has too high a risk of loss. I know, I'll stick a knife in the shoe, killing the scorpion, so I can grab all the coins.
Yami: I take it you've never heard the fable about the monkey and the olive jar.
Shop Owner: I'm stuck!
Scorpion: Try and knife me, will he? Take that!
Shop Owner: Dying now.
Yami: If you actually loved anything other than money, you wouldn't be in this fix.
(outside)
Yugi: And when I woke up, I had the sneakers (with this odd hole) and the owner was being carted off to the hospital.
Jonouchi: Even though I'm disappointed we didn't get over here fast enough to kick the owner's butt, you did good. I'll wear these sneakers with pride!
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