History Main / TheMasochismTango

--->'''[[OverprotectiveDad Bashere]]''': Perrin, I must train you in Saldaean ways. You must yell at your wife like this: DEIRA!!! PUNCH!!! NOW!!!\\

The partners dancing to this particular beat have already resolved the WillTheyOrWontThey issue ([[TheyDo they did]], and won't [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend deny they're a couple]]) -- it's just the wisdom of their hook-up that's in question. This is what happens when a BelligerentSexualTension couple gets together without actually solving the belligerence.

-->-- '''Music/TomLehrer''', "The Masochism Tango", ''Music/AnEveningWastedWithTomLehrer''

This trope is named after a song by Music/TomLehrer, quoted above. As he explains it, a certain genre of love song is "the passionate or fiery variety, usually in tango tempo, in which the singer exhorts his partner to haunt him and taunt him and, if at all possible, to [[FlamesOfLove consume him with a kiss of fire]]." In his version, the singer asks for whippings, broken bones, cigarette burns...

* Celty and Shinra from ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}'' have a bit of this going on. They have established a relationship, but Shinra's more annoying habits ([[TooMuchInformation like making ill-timed comments about their sex life]]) result in Celty beating him up or wrapping him up in her shadows, but Shinra actually ''[[TooKinkyToTorture enjoys it]]''. The funny thing is that their relationship is probably the healthiest in the series.

* ''Fanfic/ScarTissue'': Shinji and Asuka's relationship became self-destructive between [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt Third Impact]] and the beginning of the fic. Asuka had become so paranoid, angry, and unstable that she constantly abused Shinji physically and emotionally. Shinji never tried to stop her because he thought that he deserved it after his own awful behaviour (never being there for her, leaving her alone after her MindRape, masturbate over her naked breasts [[DudeShesLikeInAComa when she was in a coma]], doing nothing as she was butchered and eaten alive, trying to kill her...). At the same time, Asuka felt guilty and repulsed with herself every time she mistreated him. As a result of it, their bodies were quickly deteriorating until the beginning of the fic, when Asuka determined never to hit him again and they started to rebuild their relationship.

* ''Fanfic/ScarTissue'': Shinji and Asuka's relationship became self-destructive between [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt Third Impact]] and the beginning of the fic. Asuka had become so paranoid, angry, and unstable that she constantly abused Shinji physically and emotionally. Shinji never tried to stop her because he thought that he deserved it after his own awful behaviour (never being there for her, leaving her alone after her MindRape, [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbate over her naked breasts]] [[DudeShesLikeInAComa when she was in a coma]], doing nothing as she was butchered and eaten alive, trying to kill her...). At the same time, Asuka felt guilty and repulsed with herself every time she mistreated him. As a result of it, their bodies were quickly deteriorating until the beginning of the fic, when Asuka determined never to hit him again and they started to rebuild their relationship.

** It's actually the societal ''norm'' for romance to be The Masochism Tango in Saldaea, much to the bafflement of [[TheBigGuy Perrin]] when he marries fan-unfavorite [[TheScrappy Faile]]. As [[http://www.dragonmount.com/forums/topic/77089-the-wheel-of-time-summaries-by-isam-spoilers-till-book-cot/ The Parody]] puts it:

This trope is named for a song by Music/TomLehrer, quoted above. As he explains it, a certain genre of love song is "the passionate or fiery variety, usually in tango tempo, in which the singer exhorts his partner to haunt him and taunt him and, if at all possible, to [[FlamesOfLove consume him with a kiss of fire]]." In his version, the singer asks for whippings, broken bones, cigarette burns...

* ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'' is all about this. Ranma and Akane are emotionally and physically abusive to each other, constantly. Yet the two of them are, horrifically, the most benevolent and stable couple in the entire show, and as much as Ranma would like to leave all his unwanted "fiances" in the dust, for his own physical and mental well being, he pointedly ''can't.''

* Celty and Shinra from ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}'' have a bit of this going on. They have established a relationship, but Shinra's more annoying habits ([[TooMuchInformation like making ill-timed comments about their sex-life]]) result in Celty beating him up or wrapping him up in her shadows, but Shinra actually ''[[TooKinkyToTorture enjoys it]]''. The funny thing is that their relationship is probably the healthiest in the series.

* ''ComicBook/AntMan'' and ''ComicBook/TheWasp'' or Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne, were this to a tee, long before the notorious issues where Hank slapped Janet, leading to the end of their marriage. Janet was far younger than Hank and was a DoppelgangerReplacementLoveInterest who resembled his first wife, Dr. Maria Trovaya. Personality-wise, Janet was an extroverted socialite interested in fashion and invested in being a public superhero. She was often playful and flirty with her fellow male teammates and insensitive to Hank. Hank was introverted and insecure, preferred staying in the laboratory, and rarely communicated openly to her. This in part led to his breakdown as a "bad-boy" Yellowjacket. Janet [[QuestionableConsent consented]] to marry him in this state knowing that he was normally too shy to do it despite both of them wanting to. While Janet believed she was helping Hank, he would backbite and hurt her emotionally during their marriage until the incident when he slapped her led her to call it quits.

* ''Fanfic/ScarTissue'': Shinji and Asuka's relationship became self-destructive between [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt Third Impact]] and the beginning of the fic. Asuka had become so paranoid, angry, and unstable that she constantly abused Shinji physically and emotionally. Shinji never tried to stop her because he thought that he deserved it after his own awful behaviour (never being there for her, leaving her alone after her MindRape, [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbate over her naked breasts]] [[DudeShesLikeInAComa when she was in a coma]], doing nothing as she was butchered and eaten alive, trying to kill her...). At the same time, Asuka felt guilty and repulsed with herself every time that she mistreated him. As a result of it, their bodies were quickly deteriorating until the beginning of the fic, when Asuka determined never to hit him again and they started to rebuild their relationship.

** In Characters/TheAmazingRace6'' Had almost every couple fighting in the second half of the season. The Most Notable was Jonathan & Victoria, which is worse than Tara & Wil as Jonathan comes of as Abusive.

** In the first All-Stars season, Eric & Danielle were forced together by ExecutiveMeddling and argue often. Said arguing intensified in the second half of the season. Unlike others, they were an overall weaker team but they were able to make to the final leg and actually ''won''.

** Lee Adama and Kara Thrace on had their epic "I hate you, I love you, I hate you" outlasted three seasons, several space battles, two drunken sex accidents, two whirlwind marriages (to other people), one inexplicable weight gain (and more inexplicable loss), one case of StockholmSyndrome, [[spoiler: one apparent death]], and many fans' patience, and was only resolved when Starbuck [[spoiler: was revealed to have been DeadForReal and up and vanished]]. It's been suggested recently that these two actually work well as a [[DeconstructedTrope deconstruction of this trope]] and that RDM was trying to show just how dysfunctional this type of pairing would be if portrayed realistically.

* ''Series/{{Dallas}}'': JR and Sue Ellen Ewing to the nth. He cheats, she drinks and cheats, he cheats and has her committed... and on the dance goes. Most of the horrible things Sue Ellen does are fairly reasonable reactions to JR's misdeeds, but many argue that he was only slightly overreacting to her being a right old bitch in the first place. The more heinous infractions include: JR using Sue Ellen's alcoholism as his go-to blackmail or attempting to push her off the wagon for the same reason, Sue Ellen's use of their son as a pawn knowing it's JR's only weak spot, JR cheating on and conspiring against Sue Ellen with her own sister, believing Sue Ellen shot him and allowing her to rot in jail [[spoiler: when her crazy sister was the actual culprit]], and Sue Ellen actually shooting him a few years later. Somewhere in there they get a divorce, RE-MARRY (because of all the love), then re-divorce. The two are so massively screwed up they make a certain sense together, but even at the best of times, he makes it clear that she will always be second to Ewing Oil.

* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'': John and Aeryn. From their very first meeting they're beating on each other (usually Aeryn is smacking John around but not always) and it becomes a common theme in the series. Which made the following [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sal4xRAmonI musical tribute]] inevitable.

* ''Series/FawltyTowers'': Basil and Sybil Fawlty are a classic -- if rather more complex -- example of this trope switching between this and NoAccountingForTaste. Casually insulting one another, both face to face and behind their backs, Sybil does seem to appreciate even these acerbic exchanges. And Basil does occasionally try to do something vaguely nice, such as remembering their wedding anniversary (but of course, gets a dangerous kick out of making her believe he has forgotten until the last moment:)

* ''Series/GameOfThrones'': The incestuous, decades-long affair-slash-defacto-marriage between Queen Cersei and Ser Jaime Lannister. They're both prideful, volatile people, and when paired with the stress caused by secrecy, you end up with a mild version of the Masochism Tango from the beginning, which then gets dialed up. Like in the books, Jaime ''does'' slowly begin to drift apart from his sister, but--unlike in the books--he still remains committed to her for far longer, despite recognizing her flaws. Eventually, [[spoiler:at the end of Season 7, upon seeing that Cersei has no intention of helping out in FinalBattle when GondorCallsForAid, Jaime finally has enough and leaves Cersei to go help. During that time he tries to [[OnTheRebound rebound]] with his friend Brienne, but that serves as the catalyst to him realizing that he wants to be with Cersei anyway. He goes back to [[KnowWhenToFoldEm convince her to surrender, thus saving her life]]. He fails to get to her in time for, and they [[TogetherInDeath die in each other's arms]].]]

** RealitySubtext: Actors William Frawley and Vivian Vance openly despised each other, and flatly turned down a spin-off series starring the two of them.

* ''Series/LivingSingle'': In ''very'' stark contrast to the loving couple of Overton and Synclaire, there is Kyle and Maxine. The first season initially had then sniping at each other until [[spoiler:a drunken one-night stand]] eventually awakens [[SlapSlapKiss feelings]] in one another (hell, the following episode actually had them engage in an ''actual'' tango where they routinely insulted each other and Kyle literally left Max on the floor in TheStinger!) Soon, while he did develop feelings of love for her, her usual "take no prisoners/hates being vulnerable/all men are pigs" attitude sabotaged any real growth in their relationship until they bitterly broke up in season four and he moved to London. [[spoiler:At least until a SurprisePregnancy (using his [[ContrivedCoincidence sperm for a donor bank]]) eventually brought them back together, seemingly for good in [[LoveRedeems happily remaining a couple and raising their resulting daughter.]]]]

* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'': Dr. Cox and Jordan. These two are stunning, simply because even when they are openly together and obviously planning on spending the rest of their lives together, they continue to insult, demean and torment each other, even when they're happy. Both also undergo significant CharacterDevelopment and gradually show softer sides to their characters and let their defenses down, but this part of their relationship never changes. It also seems like their relationship actually ''thrives'' on the fighting, and that their shared hatred actually brings them together. This was showcased best in one episode where Jordan no longer wants to fight because of Jack. So Dr. Cox tries to initiate fights with other people, to which Carla says [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything that she won't fight with him.]] They eventually patch things up after Cox tells Jordan she's just like her mother, and they agree not to fight in front of Jack... but can do it all they want when he's not around. By the final season, Cox tells Jordan that he's tired of pretending like they don't like each other because "news flash: we do!" To which Jordan responds by gasping and saying, "Take that back!"
* ''Series/TheSecretLifeOfTheAmericanTeenager'': FriendsWithBenefits Ricky and Adrian. They mostly either just argued and or had sex. They never went on dates and Ricky never wanted to be seen in public with her. Their relationship consisted mostly of them cheating on each other and claiming each sexual conquest as retaliation. When her father asked her what she liked about Ricky besides looks, Adrian couldn't answer. They mostly seemed to show genuine affection through jealousy towards those they viewed as threats to their relationship. [[spoiler: Their relationship later ended when Adrian had sex with their mutual friend, Ben.]]

* ''Series/TheWhiteLotus'': Daphne and Cameron initially seem to have an idyllic and affectionate marriage, but the season reveals that their relationship is more dysfunctional than they let on. Cameron is unapologetically unfaithful and irresponsible, while Daphne copes by enjoys the privileges their marriage gives her and retaliates by being unfaithful in turn and acting spontaneous in ways she knows irritate him.

* ''Music/TheMountainGoats'': Recurring characters the "Alpha couple" are locked in a mutually self-destructive spiral of alcoholism and substance abuse, veering between declarations of love, expressions of total hopelessness and outright KungShui.

--> '''Church''': Alright O'Malley, this is it. From now on, if anybody makes my girlfriend cranky and psychotic; it's gonna be me.
--> '''Tex''': Aww, that's sweet.
--> '''Church''': Shut up, bitch!
--> '''Tex''': Asshole!

* Riley and Zaboo's relationship in ''WebVideo/TheGuild'' is more a sadomasochism tango with Riley as the top and Zaboo as the bottom. He later [[CharacterDevelopment grows a spine]] and breaks up with her.

* PlayedForDrama in ''VideoGame/TheWitcher3WildHunt''. Phillip Strenger, the "[[RedBaron Bloody Baron]]" was a ShellShockedVeteran who [[AdiposeRex turned to drink to cope]], and his wife Anna [[AbsenceMakesTheHeartGoYonder cheated on him with a childhood friend of hers while he was away on a campaign]] before [[ChildhoodFriendRomance trying to run away with him]] [[TakingTheKids with their daughter]]. Phillip snapped and [[MurderTheHypotenuse killed the man]], and was forced to hit Anna in self-defense when she came at him with a knife, starting the cycle of violence between the two. He genuinely loved his wife while she quietly despised him, [[SuicideByCop frequently provoking him to violence in the hopes he'd go too far and kill her one day]]. [[spoiler:Phillip hoped [[BabiesMakeEverythingBetter having a second child would give them a chance to start over]] but she makes a DealWithTheDevil [[OffingTheOffspring to abort it]] behind his back which leads to her getting captured. If Geralt saves her the two reconcile, while if he fails the Baron is DrivenToSuicide.]]

* This is the nature of the relationship of [[FetishizedAbuser Iason]] and [[SexSlave Riki]] in ''LightNovel/AiNoKusabi'' due to OppositesAttract and the fact Iason has forcibly made Riki his slave. Although Iason occasionally shows Riki affection despite how much he oppresses Riki in order to control him.

* 'Theatre/{{Rent}}'': The song "The Tango: Maureen" tells you all about how Maureen torments the people she dates with compulsive flirting.

* Church and Tex in ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' are this.

--> Moved out of the house, so you moved next door
I locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall
I find you sleeping next to me, I thought I was alone

* ''Series/TheBoys2019'', the relationship between [[spoiler: Homelander and Stormfront]] starts with them having very violent sex, exacerbated by them both being superpowered. They hit and throw each other, and [[spoiler: Homelander, to paraphrase Stormfront, lasers her tits.]] The next has them making out and having sex in an alley while coated in the blood of a robber after [[spoiler: Homelander]] crushed the robber's skull.

* An interpretation of [[ManChild Chiaki]] and [[{{Yandere}} Hatori's]] relationship in ''Manga/SekaiIchiHatsukoi'' given that every single episode/chapter concerning them starts with them having a nasty fight due to either Chiaki being [[InnocentlyInsensitive insensitive]] or Hatori [[CrazyJealousGuy being possessive.]] At the end of each episode, while they do end up reconciling, it doesn't change the fact there is a lot of yelling involved before they come to a compromise...and this relationship ends up hurting the third wheel Yanase given he's pulled into their fights every single time. [[spoiler: It gets to the point where [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend Yanase]] finally [[BreaktheCutie breaks]] [[HeroicBSOD down]] [[CryCute crying]] for Chiaki pulling on his heartstrings.]] And let's not mention the novel where the interpretation of their relationship crosses between this and DomesticAbuse.

* [[PracticallyJoker Junko Enoshima]] and her sister Mukuro are shown to have this relationship in ''Anime/Danganronpa3TheEndOfHopesPeakHighSchool''. While their relationship is familial rather than romantic [[IncestSubtext (for the most part)]], Mukuro acts more like a battered spouse than a sibling as she's completely dependent on her due to her sisterly affection having been [[TheCorrupter twisted into unquestioning loyalty by Junko's manipulation]]. Their very first interaction in the show is Mukuro casually responding to Junko's verbal barbs and blushing [[DissonantSerenity while blocking her attempts to kill her with an ice pick and a grenade]].

* ''Literature/TheTwits'' by ''Creator/RoaldDahl''is all about a couple who are this trope [[UpToEleven ad absurdum]]. They are also highly abusive people in general: towards the neighborhood children, and towards their pet monkeys. The pet monkeys end up orchestrating their demise.

* ''Series/TheOrville'': Bortus and Klyden's marriage shows them constantly at odds, to the point where it seems like they actually hate each other. There's a massive disagreement when their child is born female, with Klyden revealed to be a BoomerangBigot, over giving the child "corrective surgery" to make her male. Then Bortus gets addicted to holographic pornography and starts ignoring his marriage, so Klyden tries to divorce him by stabbing Bortus through the heart per Moclan customs. Then Klyden exposes Bortus' former partner for being heterosexual and starts to indoctrinate their son with his [[HeteronormativeCrusader Homonormative Crusader]] beliefs, earning Bortus' ire. Eventually, Bortus gives Klyden a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech in front of his own commanding officer.

** In the episode "The Focus Group", Niles actually intentionally attempts to instigate one of these between him and Daphne after they got into their first argument and he...enjoyed it so much. This, mind you, is before they got together, so it fails pretty miserably. Daphne's just too polite to take the bait and only argued with him in the first place because [[RantInducingSlight she was already at her wit's end]].

* This is the nature of the relationship of [[BastardBoyfriend Iason]] and [[SexSlave Riki]] in ''LightNovel/AiNoKusabi'' due to OppositesAttract and the fact Iason has forcibly made Riki his slave. Although Iason occasionally shows Riki affection despite how much he oppresses Riki in order to control him.

%% * ''Series/LivingSingle'': Kyle and Maxine.