A Date with Rosie Palms

"I implore you. I implore all women on behalf of all men. Do not take the wrongness of masturbation from us!"
Steve, Coupling

Most people masturbate, although it's not something you'd bring up in polite conversation. However, it's given quite a different treatment in fiction. Unlike Nobody Poops or No Periods, Period (where the function is simply not mentioned because it would be Nausea Fuel), masturbation in fiction often fits into a few different categories:

Of course, there's a pretty valid reason why "normal" masturbation isn't depicted very often — it's actually quite a mundane and meaningless thing (see People Sit on Chairs). There aren't many ways that masturbation could advance the plot of a story, and because it's generally a solitary activity, there usually won't be any character interaction involved.

Also note that male masturbation is used far more often than female (except in porn, for the above-mentioned reasons)... though that's not to say that female masturbation isn't given any attention in fiction (the "Rumpelstiltskin" tale supposedly had the original message, "women who masturbate become infertile"). In older media, expect references to hairy palms and/or blindness, two widespread myths used to keep boys from masturbating.

List of masturbation tropes:

(Opening door) Oops! Sorry! When you said you were going on the computer for a while, I just assumed you'd be on TV Tropes!

Alternative Title(s): Masturbation, Touching Yourself, Ill Be In The Basement, Onanism, Yourself