They Wasted A Perfectly Good Plot. The summery sounds brilliant, but in this particular instance it comes across as a fix-it fic for the entire wizarding world using liberal splashings of the Marvel Universe to either jazz it up or show it up. The result is a bit as if someone had decided to chrome plate a fourteenth-century castle, or the family china. And not done it particularly well.
The writing style leans hard on the telling, light on the showing. Dialogue tends to be simple and exposition heavy, and the narrative is, at its worst, explanatory paragraphs. And there's much more dialogue than narrative.
The universes are clumsily melded with an obvious bias toward Marvel. Marvel Universe rules take precedence to Wizarding World rules without exception, up to and including the way magic works inside the walls of Hogwarts. Apparently Wizards have been Doing It Wrong for centuries, and wandless magic is easy as walking. The Wizarding World doesn't fry Harry's techbecauseTony Stark Built It, and it becomes the answer to too many problems. As for Marvel, apparently Chaos Magic is now being handed out to ten-year-olds like sweeties, and the Avengers can and do all band together to co-raise Tony Stark's charity case kid.
In terms of characterization, Harry seems to have caught some sort of contractual genius bug from Tony. The first chapter establishes that at nine years old, Harry broke through Tony's security system in a half hour, a feat that took Reed Richards six hours. The second chapter establishes that he's better at Transfiguration than Professor McGonagall. All that, and he still manages to break down house boundaries and charm all the girls. It might help that his peers are all pretty well spoken themselves.
In short, while Harry isn't a Sue of the highest degree, he is definitely a Sue. The writing style is clunky, cumbersome, and dry. The characters are flat, and both worlds deform to fit either Harry or the author's needs. What they don't do is reform to fit one another. This fic could have been beautiful, had the author had more respect for source material and been more skilled at characterization, world building, and descriptive writing. It had the potential to be brilliant. It's not.
Fantastic Idea, Poor Execution
They Wasted A Perfectly Good Plot. The summery sounds brilliant, but in this particular instance it comes across as a fix-it fic for the entire wizarding world using liberal splashings of the Marvel Universe to either jazz it up or show it up. The result is a bit as if someone had decided to chrome plate a fourteenth-century castle, or the family china. And not done it particularly well.
The writing style leans hard on the telling, light on the showing. Dialogue tends to be simple and exposition heavy, and the narrative is, at its worst, explanatory paragraphs. And there's much more dialogue than narrative.
The universes are clumsily melded with an obvious bias toward Marvel. Marvel Universe rules take precedence to Wizarding World rules without exception, up to and including the way magic works inside the walls of Hogwarts. Apparently Wizards have been Doing It Wrong for centuries, and wandless magic is easy as walking. The Wizarding World doesn't fry Harry's tech because Tony Stark Built It, and it becomes the answer to too many problems. As for Marvel, apparently Chaos Magic is now being handed out to ten-year-olds like sweeties, and the Avengers can and do all band together to co-raise Tony Stark's charity case kid.
In terms of characterization, Harry seems to have caught some sort of contractual genius bug from Tony. The first chapter establishes that at nine years old, Harry broke through Tony's security system in a half hour, a feat that took Reed Richards six hours. The second chapter establishes that he's better at Transfiguration than Professor McGonagall. All that, and he still manages to break down house boundaries and charm all the girls. It might help that his peers are all pretty well spoken themselves.
In short, while Harry isn't a Sue of the highest degree, he is definitely a Sue. The writing style is clunky, cumbersome, and dry. The characters are flat, and both worlds deform to fit either Harry or the author's needs. What they don't do is reform to fit one another. This fic could have been beautiful, had the author had more respect for source material and been more skilled at characterization, world building, and descriptive writing. It had the potential to be brilliant. It's not.