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Reviews Film / Jupiter Ascending

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SMARTALIENQT Since: Jun, 2009
02/24/2015 20:37:04 •••

I'll never say "Channing Tatum was hot" again.

This is a terrible movie! There's far too many explosions and silly falls, the characters are incestuous, the names are painfully obvious, there's a lot of implausible stuff about Space Religion and The Chosen One and the entire thing reads like some teen's fantasy.

Oh, sorry, I was talking about Star Wars.

Jupiter Ascending is a wonderful movie, provided you look at it as a lovable romp and not as a serious scifi film. This is Guardians of the Galaxy, not 2001: A Space Odyssey. It doesn't take itself seriously, and neither should the audience. I enjoyed every minute watching it, and not only because I was surprised at how they'd turned Channing Tatum into someone actually attractive. Because he was. He was very hot. I was a bit disturbed by how much I enjoyed the fifteen-minute Walking Shirtless Scene.

I like watching terrible movies (I count The Room and A Serbian Film among my favorite Bad Movies), and this is not a terrible movie. It is excellent. It is beautiful. It is superb.


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