We try to kill SCP-682

Result: FAILURE. SCP-682 appeared singed, but within a few minutes recovered.

Test: Feed it grog. No, not grog as in watered-down rum, but the grog as described in The Secret Of Monkey Island.

edited 12th Aug '10 9:28:46 AM by WartysNeryon

Result: 682's head exploded, but regenerated quickly afterwards. Sent into fit of rage.

Test: Replicate test with properly contained anti-matter (approximately fifty grams) in a containment canister, where anti-matter will be guided into 682 via [REDACTED].

Result: Cancelled. That can of antimatter was a one-time deal as far as we can tell, and there isn't nearly enough antimatter on the planet to perform this test.

Test: Place 682, properly restrained, into SCP-504's chamber, facing one of the actual SCP-504 plants and raised to the same level as some of 504's tomatoes. Place a stereo in front of 682, set to play the worst humor that could be obtained by the Foundation.

Note from Dr. [REDACTED] - Uh, hello? Foundation equipment? We're not Fermalab here.

Result: SCP-682 either consumed the tomatoes, or hardened its epidermis accordingly.

Test: Throw SCP-682 into known interdimensional wormhole.

Result: Failure, SCP-682 thrown back.

"I don't think any other universe wants it" Dr.[REDACTED]

Test: Feed it to SCP-017.

Experiment cancelled. We already tried that, and it didn't work.

Test: Show one of the Basilisk images to 682.

Result: Failure. Nothing happens.

Put 682 in the cell of SCP-343. Cut off other means of access to SCP-343's cell or escape from said cell.

result: canceled. Too high risk of terminating SCP who is like God, causing xk event.

"Are you f[redacted]ing insane!" Dr.[REDACTED]

test: Feed to SCP-101 head first.

edited 13th Aug '10 5:33:39 PM by doommech33

Result: Failure. 682 vomited out of 101 unharmed.

Test: Dr. Clef.

[EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]

Once again, we've already tried that. Once again, refer to Experiment Log T-98816-OC108/682 to rule out methods already tried.

Test: Force-feed 682 a constant stream of potent neurotoxins and radioactive waste.

Result: SCP-682 grew resistant to said neurotoxins and waste within three minutes of test start.

Test: Get SCP-387 to build a cage for SCP-682.

Result: Cage easily destroyed by SCP-682. Containment held.

Test: Deposit SCP-682 in SCP-375.

Result: SCP-682 successfully deposited and door closed. When the vault was opened, SCP-682 body was made of [DATA EXPUNGED] broke containment and caused [REDACTED] deaths. Class A amnesiac given to surviving witnesses.

edited 25th Aug '10 8:00:21 PM by Joaqs

Test: Electrocute SCP-682 as long as it's possible.

edited 25th Aug '10 8:04:02 PM by Joaqs

Result: Failure. 682 actually seemed to become more powerful under the influence of electricity.

Test: Get 682 through SCP-616-1

edited 26th Aug '10 9:35:44 AM by RTHSFF

Result: Failure.

SCP-682 tore out of hull, causing SCP-616 to crash. SCP-682 now expresses desire to kill all those involved with the attempted destruction.

Test: Put SCP-682 in SCP-173's cell.

EXPERIMENT CANCELLED

We tried that and we're not going to fit Godzilla into a freaking ship container.' -Dr. Koch

Experiment: Slap 682 with a giant tuna, retrieved from [REDACTED]

Result: FAILURE! The slapping with a giant tuna only annoyed SCP-682, who in a fit of rage attacked and killed no less than five personnel, including [REDACTED].

Test: Unleash the Daleks.

edited 1st Sep '10 6:19:14 AM by WartysNeryon

Result:[EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]

Okay, who came up with that? Dr.[REDACTED]

Test: Expose 682 to "ED Offended"

OOC: Is Captain Falcon an SCP? If so, what number is he? I wanna see him take on 682.

Result: Failure. Offended only reinforced 682's hatred of all other life, making it even more aggressive.

Test: Throw 682 into the sun. If he comes back, throw him in again.

Result: Yet again, it came back on fire. After the second time, it came back temporarily made of fire. Attempting to extinguish it only made it angry.

Test: Expose it to the FALCON PUNCH!!!!!

Result: SCP-682 was blasted across the galaxy at a rate of [REDACTED] times the speed of light. Unfortunately, the Law of Relativity ensured SCP-682 arrived back on Earth BEFORE it was Falcon Punched.

Test: Dump the liquid from SCP-294 that resulted from the input "Something that will kill SCP-682" on him.

edited 2nd Sep '10 11:05:04 PM by iTroper

Result: [EXPERIMENT HALTED]

Alright, whoever suggested the liquid is demoted to Class D. - Dr. Neryon

Changed based upon view of official log

Input: Provided I have SCP-343's permission, use him on SCP-682.

Seeing as the above wouldn't work...

Set room to zero degrees kelvin

edited 2nd Sep '10 11:50:12 PM by WartysNeryon

(Two things. One, the official experiment log for SCP-294 showed that my suggestion would not give an "out of range" message. Second, go ahead with 343, but the general consensus when it was done twice before is that he's too much of a Deus ex Machina and people just come up with stupid ways for it to fail.)

edited 2nd Sep '10 11:24:45 PM by iTroper