Write a Badfic

"JOJO..." said a Mysterious voice.

"Who r U?" said Joko.

"I...AM TEH LEADER OF TEH ALIENS!"

"You mean my fadder?"

"YES JOJO. ALSO YOUR ASSBABY IS SPESHUL, IT'S JUST THAT HE HASN'T REALIZED HIS HERITAGE YET."

"How do I make him realise his heriage?"

"REVERSE UR UKEFICATION. KILL THE TWO GIRLS IN FRONT OF YOU."

"Is there no other way?"

"NO."

"But I'm outnumbered!"

"I WILL TAKE CONTROL OF MINA USING TEH TECHNOLOGY SHE AND THE OTHER THIVES USED TO GTE TEHIR POWERS."

Then teh Alien Leader took conterol of Mina!

Now Krystalia was alone!

Omygdo said cristla Teh aliens will ceil me with there prep bowerr's and Alien JUSTIN BEIBER dc's i musk esdapte

Hi im Cecila Dorthy Mari Sakura Ilsa Victoria Jesui. this is de stroy fo my lyfe.

CHAPTER 1 ! XXXXXXXXXOOOOOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

im atending dis bording skool. im in hihskool. but its a skool 4...........VAMPYRES!

so 1 day i met dis hotie hes names Edward. Ed is lyke soooooooooo hottttt. anywayz he bmped to me druning hoemrum.

ohsori. he sed. i blshued und smyled secudtilevy. sokay.

he leened in closer und we kssed.

hey baby, he wispered. want to slep wid meh tonite

HELYA!

dat nite we had sex und itwas sooooo romantik. after dat i woke up und put on makup plus 1 of freds shitrs. i wuz reallllli hott.

anwayzzz, l8er i wuz runin und i saw ed wid anoder gurl. stupid blond gurl. ed is mien! bish!

ED! i yeloed. teh 2 fo dem luked at meh und ed wuz so surpsied.

oh baby, im so srry. i dind't meant 2 ceaht...

bstard!!111!!! were ovuh!

edited 2nd May '11 6:29:04 AM by theindefiniteone

"Moll'alda!!!!" screamed Canopus "How can u cheat on me wit Edward like that!?!?!?!"

"OMG!" said Moll'aldw. "I am leik, soooo sory! Ever sinse I let Taht perp Candy die my hair blond, i b doin all sorts of stoopid shit! U forgiv me, babby?"

"Only if u sex me here an noa."

"K!"

Hey!" said Edward, I'm being attacked by Preppies here! Also Moladda was sexing wid me vfore he met u meening dat I'm teh 1 being cheeted on! Hah!"

But Mo'ladds and Canpous were already busy sexing.

"Wait!" said Krystalia before Jojo and Mina killed her on orders from teh lider of teh alliens. "Can u tell me ur plane bef4 killing me?"

"Y NOT?" said teh Alien leader.

"MY PLAN BEGINS WITH JOJO REVERSING TEH UKEFICATION BY KILLING U."

"Then?" Questioned Krestalia cutely.

"THEN I WILL DISGUISE MYSELF AS AN ANGEL AND TEH PEOPLE OF TEH DEEP SOUTH WILL BE UNDER MY COMMAND AND WORSHIP ME. THEN I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

"That's all i needed 2 no!" sad Krystalya. "Lucky! I no haw 2 beet alyen envadors! I must....ROCK TEH FUCK OUT!!!!!" Krystalia's majik kitanna suddenly turned into a fabyulus elektrek gitar and she played a sukseshon of power cords that blew the alyen to obiveean.

"NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!" whined the alyens "WE CANNUT HANDEL SICH A ROCKING MAMMOJAM SUCH AS THAT!!!!!!!!!11111"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" said teh Alien Leader, Jojo and Meena. They screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed.

"U BASTARD!" said teh Allen leader. "JOJO POT ON SUM EARFONES!"

Jojo put on some Earphones. Then he smiled diabolically. He got out his gun and began shooting!

"Robo Shield!" Said Krystalia and a shield came up and deflected teh bulles.

"Chain of Aliennation!" said Mina. Chanes came ut and bound Krystalia and took away her sword!

"HAHAHA" said teh Alien Leader. "NOW U WILT DIE AND JOJO WILL NOT BE UKEFIED NO MORE."

"Not a chanse!" said a voice.

It was......Dracula!

"Cym Bac to mi Jojo!" said tweh Vampire. "Let us be luverz agen!"

"No!" said Jojo. "I dunt wanna b a uke no more!"

"But Jojo, I love u!" said Dracola. "And think of little Leggy! He needs his other daddy!"

"How r u alive anyways?" asked Jojo.

Dracyla got a 'Dude ur so retarted!' look on his face and said "I am a vampire! I am imoral! And Krystalia here is a nawty, nawty, NAWTY LITTLE GIRL!"

"Oh shit." said Krestaila.

Mina said: "But wans'nt it Seproth who dyed?"

"Sot up!!!!!!!1111" cried Jojo. Then he got out his gun and began shooting and shooting and shooting Mina.

"Ahh!" Mina said as blod pored out of her and she began dying.

"Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!11111" said Karysatalia.

"JOJO R U REBELLING AGAINST ME?" said teh Alien Leader.

"No but I will nut be corrected in my statements."

"THEN KILL KRYSTALIA. DO IT NOW!"

Jojo used a Dark Apocalupse Freblaal at Krystalia!

Are we gonna actually post this somewhere?

I sure as hell hope not. ._.

• The writer has gone to improve her spelling*

CHAPTER 2!111!!!111!!!

taht nigt ed adn me went 2 a romtnic diner.

i sigehd. ed i said thanx 4 dis romtnicc diner. i luv u1 <3333333333

ed smled sdecutlvy and lened in closer. of curse u now me. we were abut 2 kiss wen a giant rbot tinhg crahed into teh restorant.

ahhhhhhh pple scremd. i wuz soo surpized!

gib me ur babies teh robotmonster said ed went up 2 it and tride 2 atak but it blwe hmi awya.

no ed my luv i scremed. i was verry angyr nao.

u stupid robot kiled my luv1 prepere 4 mai rath! i jmuped in2 d er and beet teh robot 2 a bludy pulp.

fuk uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

teh robot fel bakwards.

dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!1111111111!1!!!111

teh robot died. every1 claped and ed kissed me in thanx.

ur welcome. i told hmi, gigling.

i wuz teh hero.

-TO BE CONTINUED-

(ASDFGHJKL; The horror. It will be continued. Maybe.)

ONc they're was a grrl here nam was Apple. She licked to dance. One days he dance dand daneda nd dancced until her feet turned to sossajes the end.

The Robot wuz ded......or wuz it? Nootrons sparked in the seemingly ded eyes. "ROBOT!" intoned a voise in Robot's head. "ROBOT! IT IS THE ALIEN ENVADORS! OUR PALN 2 KILL MINA AND KRYSTALIA IS A SUCKSESS! U NO WHAT U DOING!"

"I...will...obey...." The robot creeked as it got 2 it's feet an did teh nefaryus job it had bin programd 4.

Teh Robert went to a Hardware store and repared itself. I hat U Cecilai he thought ti himself. He then went to a Gun shoppe and got some guns. Then he went to an Army Surplus store to get some Campflage to make him stealthy.

"Hahahaha. Now I am redy to kill more of teh cast" saif teh robet.

He went to Draco and Hermione's house!

"Helo tere I am ready to kill u in order so that there are less Characters 2 kep trac of." Teh robot said Affably.

"Nu don't kill us!" said Draco and Hermonione.

"It's too l8," said teh Robot and he shot out pistols!

"Protego!" said Draco and all of teh ballets were blocked except one which entered his arm.

"Ahh! Hermoine my arm has been shot!1" said Draco. Hermione brought her wand out. "Crosio1" she shouted.

"Ha ha. I don't feel paine. Prepare to Die!" Teh Robot got out a Chainsaw!

What Robot didnt no waz it waz Spring Brake and Canopus waz cumming home wit his new girlfiend, Moll'alda. "U'll like my parants, Moll'alda!" Canopus promissd. "They r nise n cool n....." He opined teh door. "AN THEIR GETTIN ATAKED BY A ROBOT!!!!!" he notised.

Moll'alda beagan chanting a fae spell. "Feersum creechur, made of steel, Too my power u will neel! B not..." The robot picked Moll'alda up and thru her acros teh room.

"Oh shit, tahts's rite!" said Canopus. "Steel has iron in it!"

"Canopus!" gasped Draco. "U must use teh seekrit weppin!"

"U shur, Dad?" said Canopus.

"Yah, I shur." said Draco. "Is teh only thing can save us nao!"

"Ok then" Canopus then pressed a secret panel on teh wall, opening a secrit chamber. Inside it was............Gae Bolg! Canopus tehn picked up teh spear and said:

"This is teh spear of Cu Chullain, teh hero of Ireland. It can kill u with powerful spikes becasue it can cut even metal. Then he threw teh spear!

"Noooooo!!!!!!!!1111" said teh Robot as he got pirced with the spear and dyed.

"Yay!!!111 U saved us!" said Mo'ladda.

"Let us sex!" said Canopus.

So they sexed and sexed until they can have no more.

Then suddenly, Jojo was there! He had gone bac to his old ways and was now an evol villain Seme.

"Moll'ada. I have long desired revenge on your mother. Now that I am well again, I shall get it! Naugthy Tentacle attak!

Tentacles came out and grabbed Moll'ada!

"Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!" said Canopus and he threw Gae Bolf at Jojo!

ONE TIME IT WAS KINDOM HARTS!! SORA WAS FIGHTING A HARTLESS AND HE DROPED HIS SORD AND DONALD PICKED IT UP AND HE WENTED HAHAHA I AM THE KEYBLDE!! AND THEN DONALD KILED ALL A THE HARTLESS!!

AND THEN DONALD OPNED A PORTAL LIKE IN PORTAL 2 BECAUSE HE WAS A KEYBLADE AND HE WENT TO TWILIGHT TOWN AND HE MET EDWARD AND BELLA BECAUSE THAY LIVED THARE BECAUSE TWILIGHT IS THE BOOK THERE IN AND DONALD SAIDED DIE B**** EDWORD IS MINE!!

AND THEN BELLA WAS DEAD AND DONALD AND EDWORD LIVED HAPPLY EVER AFTER UNTIL DONALD KILLD HISSELF BECAUSE HE WAS BECOME SAD!!

I HOPE U ALL LIKE MY FIC I HAVE A BLOG FOR IT U SHOULD CHECK IT OUT BUT ITS ALSO ABOUT MY LIFE LIKE HOW MY MOM IS THE BITCH!!

"NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!" screemed Dracola as he jumped sexily in front of the spear.

"Draculs!" screamed Jojo. Jojo nelt by dracyla's side and wept. "Dracky! Dracky! Y U do taht?"

"B cuz........I lov u!" An tehn he dide.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Jojo screemed and screemed and screemed.

"Canopuss!1 U did this!" roared Jojo. "U will be teh 1 to be raps frist!"

Black Ligthening came froth from Jojo's hands and shocked and shocked and shocked Canopus. Then Canopes fell unconsious.

"Ha ha ha ha ha." said Jojo. "Now I will show every1 how I'm a Seme agen."

"Never!" said Mollada. She got free from teh tentacles and grew beautiful Butterfly Wings!

She took out....a Keyblade!

"This is yur end Jojo!"

"NOOOOOOO!!! DONT HURT MY DADDY!!!!" It was...........Little Leggy!

"Legolas!" said Jojo. "Go somewhere safe!"

Little Leggy's eyes turnd frum crimson 2 vilet 2 gold 2 raven black as he grew ten feet tall and sprowted bat wings. "U WILL NOT HURT MY DADDY!!!!" he bellowed.

"Leggy!" gasped Jojo. "U R speshal after all!" Moll'alda wet herself.

"HA HA HA HA," said teh Alien Leader. "U SEE? JOJO UR BABY IS SPESHUL. NOW, TAK UR REVENGE ON PRISCILLAS DAUGTHER!"

Jojp and Little Leggy attacked Mollada! Teh half-fairy half-vampir half-something else began to fight. She held Gae Bolg in one hand and her Keyblade in another. But she was losing!

"Dork Apocalipse Fireballe!" said Jojo.

"Sword of Darkness!" said Leggy.

"Ahh!" screamed Moll'ada as she was blasted back.

"This is great!" said Jojo. "I feel badass agin!"

"Now let's kill her, daddy." said Leggy.

"No! Not my future Daugther-in-law, U Bastrads!" Hermione said. She got out.............the Claiomh Solais, the sword of light!

"Nooooo!!!!" said Jojo.

"NOT MY DADDY U BITCH!!!!" Said Leggy. He grabed Hermione, spread his wings and flew away, terring the roof of teh hoes as he did so!

"COME BACK WITH MY WIFE U ASSHOLE!" screamed Draco.

"WEAR R U TAKING MY MOM?!?!" screamed Canopus.

"Nun off ur consern!" sad Jojo. "Cur ur all gonna die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Surprise!" screamed Moll'alda as she tackled Jojo from behibnd. "Now ur gonna get it!"

"Oh no I'm not!" said Jojo.

"Oh yes u r!" said Canopus and Draco, pointing there wombs at Jojo.

Their waz a nok at the door. "I'll get it!" said Moll'alda, puting a body bind hex on Jojo. She opened teh door. It was......a UPS delivery man!

"I got an order here for a Moll'alda Weasley." he said.

"Yaht's me!" Moll'alda said britely.

"Weasley!" said Draco 2 Canopus. "You dindt tell me u were dating a Weasley!"

"You got a delivry from someone in Loosianna called Cygna Vamp." said the UPS guy. "Sine here."

"Oh, good!" said Moll'alda, signing the sheet. "She's pating the favor I did 4 her last week!"

"Thank u, mam." said teh UPS guy, taking back the clipbord and pen b4 driving away in his big brown van, leaving behind a jiant box.

"Wut is it, Moll'alda?" asked Canopus.

Moll'alda tore opin the box. It was....a bathtub full of tapioca pudding! Complete with two rubber duckies! "Good!" said Moll'alda. "And not a moment 2 soon!"

"That looks fan!" said Canopus. "Is it 4 sexing?"

"Wy yes!" And then Mollasa and Caxopus hopped in and took off ther clothes and began sexing futriously until they wer well sexed.

Daraco was still pointing his wasnd at Jojo.

"Well, it seems that it's the tow of us now," said Drado preparing for a killing spell.

"Indeed." said Jojo. "However, my Leggy will kill ur wife, and U will b killed by him later."

"Not if I kill u first! Avada Kedavra!" A green light came out from Darco's wand and blasted Jojo!

"BOOT STOMP BREAKER!" responded Jojo. A Giant Boot came out and started spinning towards Draigo, destroying the spell and hitting him in the face!

"Haha." saif Jojo. "This is teh boot that will stomp on ur face forever!" Then he put on some sunglasses and smiled. "Now this world will b mine!"

"Not a chance!" said a voice.

It was.......Hermione! She had grabbed Leggy and put the Claiomh Solis to his throat.

"Leave this place. Leave my husband, my son, and his love alone. I have not yet begun to use the full power of the Sword of Light!"

edited 13th May '11 6:01:28 PM by BadficFetish

"Oh, well," said Jojo. "I gess i haf no choys but 2 saren...."

But the UPS truck pulled up again. "I got a delivry for a Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort. From Cygna Vamp in Loozyanna."

Thats me!" said Jojo.

"Sine here." Jojo sined his name.

"U no Cygna Vamp 2?" asked Moll'alda.

"Yah, she ows me a favor. So she sent me this!" He opened the box to reveel...........Optimus Prime!

"Dam." said Moll'alda. "I shooda asked for that insted of a tub full of tapioca pudding and some rubber duckys!"

edited 14th May '11 10:06:08 AM by cygnavamp

"HA HA HA HA." said teh Alien leader. "OPTIMUS PRIME IS UNDER MY CONTROL AND ALSO FACIST NOW."

"That is true" said Optimus Prime. He then grabbed Canopus and Moll'ada!

"I will now crush them." He began tigthening his hands.

"No!" said Hermione. "I suggest a trade. Your Leggy for my Canopus and Mollada."

"GOOD CHOICE."

Hermione had Leggy fly down to teh ground so that she could let him go. Optimus lowered his arms & let the two kidds out.

Jojo then said: "Leggy, go away now so that no 1 could hurt u."

"Ok" said L$eggy anf he flew away.

"Now, where were we?" said Jojo. "O yeah. Optimos Prime, attak!"

Edit:

"U will nt touch tem!"

"Who said that?" said Jojo.

"It is I.........Cecilia!"

edited 14th May '11 5:57:32 PM by BadficFetish