RM/8
A ketchup-stained cowhide rug.
A man walks into a bar. What happens?
edited 21st Nov '10 9:01:33 PM by AweStriker
"Only now, after being besieged by a flock of talking ponies, did he really understand what he'd lost. "
Li'l Shardfinder
He orders a beer, then proceeds to talk about how shitty his day was.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
Li'l Shardfinder
Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi.
Why did the man shave his beard off on Wednesday?
Defiler of Shops
Because he realized it was too long on Wednesday.
What did the AI say to the keyboard?
Soul is ugly.
Nothing. First, machines cannot "say" anything, although they can be used to represent and transmit human thoughts and ideas, which could informally be considered speech. Second, if either of those things was "saying" anything to the other, it would be keyboard speaking (sic) to AI (rather than the AI speaking (sic) to keyboard) as the keyboard is an input device.
What did one muffin say to the other muffin?
edited 22nd Nov '10 12:12:32 AM by newtonthenewt
She's playing with fire! He's not ready for Nibbly Pig!
Li'l Shardfinder
"You forgot to change the oil?! Now we're screwed!!!"
A Nun, a Teacher, and Princess Peach walk into a bar...
They say nothing to each other and proceed to walk to seperate booths.
A priest and a Rabbi walk into the supermarket...
When life gives you lemons, fill the juices up into squirt guns and shoot them at people's eyes.
Li'l Shardfinder
There is a tornado, and the entire place is ripped apart.
What do you call a duck?
edited 22nd Nov '10 6:54:14 AM by Fuzy2K
You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.
Defiler of Shops
A rabbikwak duck.
Why is Cthulhu so sad all the time?
Soul is ugly.
Team Edward James Olmos
He doesn't have any friends.
What did the hedgehog say to the toaster oven?
"Godspeed, you fancy bastard."
Fwomph
"You lookin at me, chump?"
Pete and Repete were in a bar, Pete left, who was left?
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
The person named Repete, along with any other bargoers.
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
edited 22nd Nov '10 2:37:27 PM by Anomalocaris20
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Fwomph
Quite a bit I think.
So a man walks into a bar holding a rope attached to a large comglomerate of rocks. He goes up to the counter and places the rocks on the seat next to him. He orders a drink and the bartender says...
It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
Away from the ovens.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the liquor store was on the other side.
What do rabbits eat on Easter?
When life gives you lemons, fill the juices up into squirt guns and shoot them at people's eyes.
Grasses and carrots. The same thing they do every day, I'd imagine.
What did the social worker say to the octopus?
Bird mom
Oh my god! A talking terrestial octopus.
Why did the computer squeak?
The Crystal Caverns A bird's gotta sing.
Some stupid hacker had planted a virus in it.
What do Tarzan and the King of Sweden have in common?
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
Human monarchs of a particular territory.
Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
Poe wrote on both. They are both corporeal objects on a similar plane of existence.
Did you know that deer don't have uncles?
Bird mom
No, because that is clearly an overgeneralization.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a shark?
The Crystal Caverns A bird's gotta sing.
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
The first is a largely fur-less mammal with a degree and fairly profitable occupation in the line of drafting verbose regulations and then protecting people who don't understand the excessive verbiage against hyper-competent regulators, while the other is a cartilaginous ichthyoid with teeth on its skin.
Two drums and a cymbal fell off a cliff.
edited 24th Nov '10 1:41:49 PM by Noaqiyeum
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
I would assume "bark", "woof", "arf" or something along those lines.
What's black, white and red all over?