Defiler of Shops
Nothing, they'd probably rob the store.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a keyboard?
Soul is ugly.
An abomination that should not be allowed to exist in this world.
What did the dog say to the tree?
Bibliophile.
You should have been there if you wanted to know.
Why is a bananna like a trombone?
Never be without a Hat! Hot means heat. I don't care if your usage dates to 1300, it's my word, not yours. My Pm box is open.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
I have no idea how you would even do that. Keyboards lack DNA, for one thing. You also couldn't make an enemy of one, because they're inanimate. I suppose you could physically cross them like a bridge, but that wouldn't work very well...
They're both similar colors and can be held in one's hand.
What's the difference between a bull and a cow?
edited 20th Nov '10 3:15:59 PM by BlackWolfe
But soft! What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick! And Juliet is out cold.
Defiler of Shops
They're spelt differently.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Soul is ugly.
First Loyalty: Yourself
Because a wayward space shuttle hit it hard enough to launch it into orbit.
Why are dogs such terrible dancers?
Embroiled in slave rebellion, I escaped crucifixion simply by declaring 'I am Vito', everyone else apparently being called 'Spartacus'.
^^Because it was pregnant ("jumping over the moon" is a slang term for "giving birth" in the Southern United States).
^Because they have four left feet.
What did the man say as he fell off the mountain?
edited 20th Nov '10 5:33:00 PM by SeanMurrayI
He probably screamed.
Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip?
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Defiler of Shops
OOOOOOWWWAAAHHHHHEELEELLEPDEHBRgMEIOG_HRVNJgfufytnsegftrn Followed by eerie silence except for bouncing off trees and things.
It couldn't, due to gravity pushing it off the bottom of the strip.
Two cyclops walk into a bar. One asks for a milkshake. The bartender says...
edited 20th Nov '10 5:37:13 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
"That'll be $3.50."
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Cheesy Heir of Pancakes
One.
Why did the man kick the dog?
edited 20th Nov '10 5:56:58 PM by ion496
~Ion496. Need I say more?
Because he hates puppies!
What did the RED Engineer say about a BLU Spy-tree?
Nothing. He didn't notice the tree was a Spy, and treated it like a normal tree, which cannot talk back and is therefore a waste of time to speak to.
What's black and white and red all over?
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Duck Soup after being screened in front of irate, tomato-wielding malcontents.
Did you hear the joke about the fat man?
Bibliophile.
Yes. It wasn't amusing in the slightest.
What did the squirrel with the car made of nuts say about the person who stole his car?
Never be without a Hat! Hot means heat. I don't care if your usage dates to 1300, it's my word, not yours. My Pm box is open.
"I'm calling the police!"
Why couldn't the Irishman see the Sun?
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
Dammit, you're not supposed to use the original punchline!
edited 20th Nov '10 7:23:24 PM by SeanMurrayI
It was nighttime.
If a tree falls on a mime, does anyone hear it?
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Defiler of Shops
Of course, the people around the mime do!
What does Satan eat for breakfast?
Soul is ugly.
Whatever he feels like.
What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?
edited 20th Nov '10 7:23:26 PM by WartysNeryon
A Jew is a human who follows the religion of Judaism. A pizza is a food made of baked dough, tomato sauce, melted cheeses, and optional toppings.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a porcupine?
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Freak of nature.
Joel Schumacher ruined the Batman series.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because it was an inanimate object.
Why don't anteaters get sick?
Bird mom
They actually do.
Why did the man throw a clock out the window?
The Crystal Caverns A bird's gotta sing.
Pretty much have an anti-humour response to the above joke, and the next user shall respond to your joke in that fashion.
To start things off:
How much do pirates pay to get an earring?