Use Noodle Implements.

You wouldn't happen to be a mythbuster, by any chance?

I'm gonna need a Nintendo DS, two cats, a package of celery sticks, an MRI, a couple of flamethrowers, a live turtle, and a strobe light.

A pet shop adaptation of Flags Of Our Fathers!

I have a deck of cards, two watermelons and a gallon of gasoline.

You'll have a hell of a weekend at vegas with them.

The suspect was arrested carrying a blackened .22 rifle, a reel of string, an empty soda bottle and dildo.

A misguided attempt at catching catfish.

I have a 6 pack of beer, 2 non-functioning flashlights, a potato cannon, and a Van Gogh painting.

Get drunk and make "abstract art"

i have an organ (the musical kind) eighty-five candles, no matches, a fishing rod, the box DVD set of Azumanga Daioh, and a broken Humvee.

That's going to be one interesting performance of Phantom of the Opera.

Oh look, it's a red leather sofa, a bright orange scarf, several gallons of bubble liquid, a hand grenade, a teabag, and a pair of cowboy boots.

Domestic terrorism!

I have sunglasses, a flying Volkswagen, a bronze bar, and a Queen CD.

That's gonna be one hell of a road trip.

I need 3 assassins, a unicycle, a sack of fecal matter, and a ripe tomato.

You're making 3 assassins 1 unicycle? WTF

I have a mammoth mummy, a whistle, and a dragon boat.

Mammoth surf boarding a boat while you play life guard?

I've got a high powered sniper rifle, no bullets, some Hershey chocolate bars, a zombie, and two ounces of dirt.

edited 19th Dec '09 5:06:33 PM by Ramus

Good luck on busting the "Chocolate Bullets will kill things" myth.

I need a cardboard box, a mecha, a sniper rifle, 5 clips of 10mm ammo, and a coconut.

Mecha time!

A suit of armor, a cake, and a Power Rangers DVD.

edited 19th Dec '09 5:08:16 PM by Kinkajou

Sounds like you're going to a birthday party.

I'll take a sack of potatoes, a baseball bat, and one fatty.

Attempting to create a Medieval themed version of Power Rangers.

I have a computer mouse, a broken alarm clock, a camera with no batteries, 1 .50 BMG round, and TorGO.

You're making a travel diary. A HILARIOUS one.

Quick! I need a box of condoms, a day-after pill, a pistol, a pregnancy test, five German sausages, a metric ton of lotion, and a donkey!

Preventing a shotgun wedding?

I have French bread, a box of toys, and a laptop.

EDIT: Can't think of anything. Imagination failed me. Darn you ninjas.

edited 19th Dec '09 5:35:00 PM by Ramus

Going babysitting? Well, at least you've got a snack and something to entertain yourself once you finally put the toy-obsessed kid to bed.

I need the wikipedia article on lemurs, a large hammer, a broken microphone, five trading cards, and an alarm clock. Quickly!

edited 19th Dec '09 5:37:08 PM by SapphireFlame

Entertainment.

Red, black, blue, yellow, and pink paint plus salsa.

The most surreal mariachi band in history.

I need 2 boxes of dirt, 1 cannonball, a palm tree, 2 sea turtles, a case of Jose Cuervo, a kraken and a big fancy movie.

Building a shrine to Pirates of the Caribbean?

I need a cage, a whore, a homophobic person, a hetero-phobic person, some bananas, and a birthday cake.

worst. porno. ever.

i have a cassette recorder, a guy named Steve, and a pamphlet entitled How to Eat French Cuisine, eighty-two bananas, and six copies of Citizen Kane.

SHIPPING WARS!

I need a GBA, a Kamen Rider belt, a violin, and a map of Nebraska.

road trip!

I have Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time, a cello, twenty-seven candle stubs, and Gary Larson.

Helping film a commentary on Goedel, Escher, Bach.

Quick! I need a hockey mask, a box of matches, a frozen mammoth, and five tons of flax.

edited 19th Dec '09 6:16:04 PM by Noaqiyeum