(Junon sends a few fireballs at the horde of spiders in order to teach them a message.)

Several spiders are killed, though some have now climbed on the Tardis. This has prolonged the spiders just a moment longer, but they will get in just soon enough, and fireballs might not be enough.

Taco is spacing out, forgetting what he's doing at the moment.

Dave took a few more bombs and throws them at the spiders, killing even more of them. But the spiders just keep getting closer.

"There's too many of them! What are we going to do?!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I forgot what we were doing. Uh, let's try this."

He presses a button that helped earlier. The Tardis travels, and the spiders dissipate. Although, when the Tardis re-materializes, the Tardis is notably just a few feet above the horde of spiders. The Tardis begins to fall. "Oh shit, hold on."

Right before touching ground, Taco kicked a lever, and pressed again.

The Tardis materialized in front of a children's library in China.

"Alright. Any spiders?"

"If it's a children's library, there might be spider children."

"Ew. Children. Guys, are you sure that this statue is that important?"

"Well, I ain't got no spider on me. Oh, and what statue?"

Dave then quietly mutters to himself.

"It's a good thing that I'm pretty good with children."

edited 2nd Jun '18 10:25:33 PM by dave_the_assassin

"Some green dragon statue that'll help us kill this dude. Say, do I feel an ending coming on? I suppose we ought to come up with a moral....

.

.

.

.

WAIT, GUYS DO WE STILL DO MORALS?"

edited 2nd Jun '18 10:28:08 PM by TacoBadger

"We never did—oh, you mean end-of-episode morals. No, I think usually the episode ends with us getting the artefact and Tales learning where we need to go next."

"Well shoot. Now we gotta find this dragon then. Ugh, alright. Tropes, pick me up, I don't want touch the same ground as children."

Taco then T-Poses, hopefully awaiting Tropes' response.

I pick up Taco.

"You want me to hold you or you wanna go back in the bag?"

"Bag," Taco says blandly.

I put Taco into my bag then walk into the library.

"Where is it, exactly? Should we ask a librarian?"

From in the bag, Taco offers, "I'm not quite sure. I just got the co-ordinates. You see anybody here?'

"Well, there are certainly a lot of children. I don't see a librarian, but I'll look around."

"You do that. Although, I have an idea of where it could be... but you look first. I don't want the kids to know I'm here."

"Well, do what you need to do. I'll just follow around, but if there's something I can do, please tell."

"Ooh, actually, Dave, go check the George RR Martin section. I need the new Ice and Fire book. I'll pay you probably to buy it for me."

(Junon's in the library, reading up on various Chinese spells. Medusa is keeping an eye on things for now.)

"I KNOW THE EASIEST WAY TO SUMMON A LIBRARIAN!!!!!!!!!!"

Nothing happens

"...Huh? I scream at the top of my lungs and I don't even get a 'shh'? Very suspicious..."

(Chey and Ford then re-appeared out of nowhere.)
"Hi again. First off, Tales said the statue has healing properties or something. Second off, TACO, WHY THE SMEG DID YOU MESS WITH MY TARDIS?! I OUGHT TO MAKE YOU LISTEN TO PETULA CLARK FOR THIS!!!"
(cue canned laughter)

"Oh shit! I love Downtown! Put that shit on!" You've messed with the wrong mouse when it comes to Petula Clark.

"I don't mind Downtown either. Her cover of Windmills of Your Mind was pretty good too, but each to their own, I guess."

"Anyway, Chey, have you seen any librarians around?"

(Chey then realizes her mistake, but quickly thinks of a alternative.)
"Hmmmm... not that I know of, I'm afraid. I know! How about NICKLEBACK?"

edited 2nd Jun '18 11:36:07 PM by EeveeGirlChey

I gasp in horror.

"CHEY! I don't care if he brings about the apocalypse, NO ONE deserves that!"

edited 2nd Jun '18 11:37:59 PM by TropesForever