Tropers: The Series

[Cutbug weakly gets up and peels Gameboy off the pinball.] "No, you didn't. You were actually doing awesome. You licked a knife, passed out, and then acted high off your mind for the rest of the time." [They stagger, letting out a pained breathing noise.] "Man... That roughed me up. We got 'em, though!"

"Crap, I gotta move faster! Let's set this baby to 100 kilometers per hour!"

Playing does that. Traderalice swings her way into the cart. Playing inserts a 2 dollar bill into the Rube Goldberg machine that is now attached to the cart. Then, a song starts playing.

"🎵We're going down, down in an earlier round🎵..."

"Crap! The "n" sound card is broken!"

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Aug 23rd 2020 at 7:19:37 AM

"Damn, third place... well, better than nothing, I guess."

"That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about the last hour to dispute you. Anyways..." She looks at Waluigi. "Uh, is he okay?" She walks over to him, and nudges him with her foot.

Behind the others, Mike and Chev swerve past the finish line in their hot pink racecar.

"Phew! Now that was a drag race!"

Chev steps out of the car and marches toward Waluigi, grabbing onto his leg. With one swift motion, he pulls the plumber right out of the ground.

"You good there, man?"

Edited by Afterwards on Aug 23rd 2020 at 7:20:21 AM

[Gameboy, currently flat as paper, abruptly pops back into 3D form and gasps deeply and loudly, as though he had been holding his breath for the past hour. He collapses onto the floor and hyperventilates for a second, his halo having once again morphed into a tornado shape.] (Ivo Robotnik on a pike! What the bloody hell was that!?) [He notices Waluigi and shambles over to him as best as he can on his own agonized feet, then weakly kicks him in the leg.] (Serves you right. Cheater...) [He then falls over backwards, unconscious.]

[The mechanic peels himself off the pinball later and brushes himself off, having somehow survived all of that.] "Alright. Everyone, want to know your placements?"

Edited by KungFuCutBug on Aug 23rd 2020 at 10:20:41 AM

"Me! Am I last?"

Playing, who bumped up the speed of the golf cart to 300 kilometers an hour, continues driving. Just then, he falls out the Tropesburg apartment window.

(Chey and Ford then exit their car. Their hair was messed up and their faces were covered in kiss marks.)
"Smegging heck, what a race that was!"

"Hell yeah, that was a good race. I think. So what are the results?"

Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Aug 23rd 2020 at 10:29:17 AM

"That was a rousing race! Now, let's take a look at the results."

A giant TV screens lowers down from the back wall, providing a playback of the finish line.

First, Waluigi lands on the finish line and embeds himself into the ground. Then, Knife and Cutbug's car flies over and smashes into the wall. Then, Chey and Ford's car crosses and turns directly toward the portapotties. Then, Custard crosses with Peach on her back. Then, I zoom across and smash into Knife's car. Finally, Mike and Chev cross with Lio right behind them. Playing and Traderalice are nowhere to be seen.

"Well, there you have it, folks. The winner of this drag race, and the King of Love, Beauty, and Violence is....."

The Canned Laughter Machine provides a dramatic drumroll as the camera pans in on Waluigi....

"Esteban Yu!"

The CLM erupts into uproarious applause as the camera abruptly switches to Knife.

"W-wait... what...." I mutter, dumbfounded. "F-fourth place?! B-but..But my.... G-Gaster Blasters....."

"Wait, I won? Hell fucking yeah! Nice! Do I get a crown or something?"

"You do!"

A shirtless mechanic walks in carrying a large golden crown, placing it on Knife's head.

"You also get a ten thousand dollar cash prize!"

Another pair of shirtless mechanics waltz in, handing Knife a massive signed check.

Edited by Afterwards on Aug 23rd 2020 at 9:06:26 AM

[Cutbug smiles, still hurting a little from the chaotic race.] "We did it, though! We got 'em!" [They chuckle to themselves.] "T'was a pretty good plan. You could say it was the greatest—" [Before Cutbug can finish, the two crushed carts (Knife's and After's) explode, but nobody gets hurt from it.]

"...damn it, Fate, I was trying to have a moment here."

(Chey and Ford then laugh and hug each other.)
"Second zarking place!"
"Man, we've done much better in this drag race than in that smegging beauty pageant a while back!"
"Yeah!"
"So, what do we get? Movie tickets? Free food?"

"Yes! As a consolation prize, all participants get a $20 gift card for Olive Garden!"

"OLIVE GARDEN?????"

As the cart falls, the trumpets falls onto Playing's lips. The leaves fall on the trumpet.

"Sweet... oh right, I can't eat human food... hey Peach, want two Olive Garden gift cards?"

"Yeah, sure. Two Olive Garden gift cards sounds good. I'm never gonna hear the end about how it's "not real Italian food.""

(I hope our prize is medical insurance.)
"Gameboy, we're the judges. We can't get prizes. Besides, there's a medbay at the apartments, we can get you hooked up just fine."

(Chey and Ford accepts the gift cards.)
"Oh! Thank you very much..."
(Chey looks at Ford)
"Hey, lovey? You up for one last date night before the baby comes?"
"Sounds like a plan. Let's stop at the apartment and change."
"Alright, give me a moment."
(Chey then hugs all but one of her fellow opponents and waves them goodbye.)
"We'll be back later tonight!"
(Chey goes over to After, shakes his hand, and gives him a hug.)
"You've done your very best at this race, buddy."

Edited by EeveeGirlChey on Aug 23rd 2020 at 10:01:26 AM

"Alright then! So, uh, post drag-race party? Drinks are on me!" Knife holds up the comedically large check.

Playing is still falling, as he plays random nots on the trumpet. The laptop falls just under the leaves.

"🎵And sugar, we're going down swinging.🎵"

"The leaves are getting warmer. Wait! My spit!"

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Aug 23rd 2020 at 8:22:45 AM

"Sure! Make mine a virgin, though. I'm kinda allergic to alcohol..." [Cutbug rubs the back of their head sheepishly.]
[Gameboy waddles back to Cutbug.] (Hey, Cut. Do you mind, uh... carrying me home? I do not think I can walk there in this state.)
"Oh, sure, lemme getcha sorted." [They lift him up onto their back using their tail fin.]

Waluigi shakes his head, slowly coming to his senses.

"Wah! Not how Waluigi would have preferred to win, but so long as he crossed the finish line fi-"

It registers to Waluigi that the leaderboard does not say he came in first. In fact, his name is not on there at all.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! WALUIGI WON FAIR AND SQUARE! THIS RACE WAS RIGGED!"

Edited by DubhKafkaesque on Aug 23rd 2020 at 4:58:48 PM

"Unfortunately, Waluigi, judges are not actually considered to be taking place in the competition."

"Of course, you are still getting paid for your work."

A man in a suit comes out and hands Waluigi, Cutbug, and Gameboy each a normal-sized check for $1000.