All-Purpose Nasuverse Fanfiction Thread

Jobs the Fate Cast Never Should Take.

Saber: Dietist.

Shirou: Marriage Councelor.

Zero Caster: Motivational Speaker.

Kouzuki: Stand Up Comedian.

Zouken: Gynecologist.

Rin: Car Mechanic.

Bazett: Exotic Dancer.

Berserker: Golf Player.

Extra Saber: Mangaka.

CCC Lancer: Schoolgirl Summer Camp Councelor.

Illya: Ambassador of Peace.

Kuro Illya: Proctologist.

Fake Assassin: Real State Agent.

Shirou Emiya was admittedly a bit surprised when, in his own living room, he was cornered at the dinner table by, in no particular order, Taiga Fujimura, Ayako Mitsuzuri, and Sakura Matou. While the first and the third were regular sights in his home, the reason the second was here was because all three of them were urgently trying to pressure him into rejoining the archery club. And not without serious reason, either.

“Emiya, the club really needs your help! Honnouji Academy’s archery team is coming in about a week to challenge us. You know how that school’s clubs are monsters! We’re good, but without you, we’re doomed!” Ayako sighed. “And this is more than just the club, it’ll be a full-on takeover of the whole school if we lose!”

“Please, senapi! The whole school is counting on you!” Sakura spoke up, surprisingly charged about the whole issue.

Shirou took a sip from his tea, mulling the issue over. He had heard about Honnouji Academy’s campaign to basically try and take over Japan piece by piece. The school itself was bascally ruled by the student council, which was headed by Satsuki Kiryuin, the daughter of the head of the REVO Cs corporation, who herself owned the school, so her daughter’s council had complete power over it, and ran it like a facist dictatorship. If Honnouji Academy’s team were to beat Homurahara Academy’s, it would be a total takeover of the school, no questions asked.

Though the idea of having to work with Shinji again annoyed Shirou greatly, the circumstances make it easy to make his decision. “Of course I’ll help. The whole school’s freedom is at stake, right? I won’t let them take it over.”

“YES! That’s Shirou for you, I knew he wouldn’t let something like that slide!” Tagia grinned, “right, we’ve got a week until they show! We gotta get you back into the groove!”

“Heh, knowing Emiya, he’ll be back in the groove within his first shot,” Ayako smirked, crossing her arms.

“Do your best, Sempai,” Sakura smiled softly.

“Right, right, don’t worry. I won’t let you down, I promise,” Shirou nodded, smiling back. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he could actually do something genuinely heroic for once...

---

The week passed smoothly. As Ayako predicted, Shirou was extremely quick to get back into form, effortlessly executing perfect shots with ease. He also had the job of helping the others get into top form by the time the invading club arrived.

When the day came, there were numerous spectators at the archery field. After all, who could blame them? The fate of the entire school was at stake. One particular spectator who caught Shirou’s eye was Rin Tohsaka, who was at the front and watching with unusual intensity.

And then the opposing club arrived.

They all moved in perfect, orderly form, wearing gleaming grey and white uniforms with a single black star embelishing the front. The rank and file members all looked virtually nondescript and extremely similar to each other. However, the club president stood out like a sore thumb due to her unique appearence compared to her subordinates, and seemed to have been allowed a greater range of individuality. It was a young woman with a slender phyisque, blonde hair tied back in a braid with two strands on the sides of her head, and she wore a beautiful white archery uniform, with two striking red stars on her chest, and a couple on her arm sleeves. She also wore a pair of glasses in front of her blue eyes. She also carried a longbow that almost was as large as she was tall.

She adjusted her glasses briefly, before she spoke up, firmly and with confident conviction, “my name is Nanami Joshuyo. I am the president of Honnouji Academy’s archery club. And we’re taking over.”

“And I’m Ayako Mitsuzuri, club president of Homurahara Academy’s archery club. My response to that? Not a chance, unless you can beat us,” Ayako smirked, as she stepped forward, “let’s see if you’re as good with a bow as you are walking in a line.”

“Heh. Against our Goku Uniforms, you’re nothing. Show them what they’re up against, my archers!” Nanami smirked.

Her team then moved into formation, drawing their bows, and firing at the nearby targets, hitting them in perfect formation. One could hear Shiji Matou audiably gulp at this. Much of the home time were also understandably intimidated. But Shirou stepped forward as well, “I imagine you’ve practiced that quite a bit. But such theatrics mean nothing in a proper archery challenge.”

“I’ll conceed the point, sir. But I could beat every one of you single-handedly. By the time this is over, I’ll have destroyed your confidence, piece by piece,” Nanami chuckled. “We’ll be using standard target archery rules. Let the games begin.”

And so they did. There were multiple rounds consisting of multiple groups of mixed archers from both teams, mostly even numbers. The Honnouji archers proved to be excellent shots, but the home team were nothing to scoff at, either. It was only when they got to longer ranges that individual skills became pronounced. And much to the home team’s delight, Shirou simply did not miss a single shot, hitting the dot at the very center of the target no matter what range he was challenged with. However, Nanami was an equally good shot at the same ranges. In terms of score, they were completely tied.

It eventually came down to a final round. Shirou versus Nanami. The latter was most curious, as they stood on side-by-side lanes, “how is it that someone as skilled as you isn’t the club president?”

“I left the team about a year ago. Personal reasons. I only rejoined a week ago to help save the school,” Shirou replied firmly.

“... I see. Shirou Emiya, was it? I don’t think I’ve ever met a no-star student like you who can match me in archery,” Nanami chuckled, as she picked up her longbow - she had been using a standard bow until now. “Alright, seems stanard target archery isn’t going to cut it. Very well, how about this... We go beyond the standard range, into the forest. We use identical target sets, from the same spot. Best score wins. I’ll even let you use a longbow as well.”

“I’ll keep the regular bow, thank you,” Shirou replied.

This surprised Nanami, who blinked, and then chuckled, “suit yourself.”

A set of targets were assembled, which were agreed by both teams to be entirely feasible. Then, Nanami went first. With surpreme confidence, she fired off each shot, the arrows shooting past the trees and whatever gaps in the branches they needed to aim through to hit the targets perfectly. Even the longest-ranged target, which she assumed would be too long for a regular bow to hit accurately, she hit dead-on.

Ayako gulped, leaning towards Shirou, as they watched, “you can switch to the longbow, you know... I don’t think a standard bow can shoot that far...”

“No, it can. It has to. If I beat her with a regular bow, she’ll have no choice but to try and match me,” Shirou replied, as he got up from his seat. “Well... It’s now or never.”

Nanami sat down with a smug smirk, as Shirou stepped up to the shooting spot. He took a deep breath, focused, and started shooting. As expected, each shot hit their targets perfectly. But then he realized that he didn’t have enough strength to shoot far enough to hit the last target. Even if he did, he would need immense self-control to prevent himself from snapping the bow or the string. And in order to get that kind of strength, he’d need to reinforce his body, which was a risk in an of itself, especially with everyone watching. If he could coneal it... Well, he had to risk it.

“Trace, On.”

None of the non-magi watching could see what he did, and even a proper magus would be hard-pressed to notice his prana usage. Somehow, Shirou had managed to pull it off, something that was rare. And it enabled him to draw back the string just enough to get the right strength, but he was careful not to break the bow, knowing he was right on the verge of doing so.

But all the same, Rin Tohsaka’s eyes widened as she picked up on the reinforcement. That idiot, what is he doing...?!

Then Shirou let go of the arrow, and let it fly.

The crowd was silent. The arrow flew through the forest, passing by trees, branches and leaves, before hitting the dot directly at the center of the target. It was a perfect, and seemingly impossible shot.

Nanami was speechless, her smug grin gone, now replaced by a look of complete shock, her face white as chalk. Seeing it gave Ayako no end of immense satisfaction.

Shirou then turned around to face the opposing team’s captain. “I believe that means I win. Unless you can perform the same shot with a standard bow.”

“I-Idiot! Of course I can! This two-star Goku Uniform can do anything!” Nanami snapped, as she got up in a huff, grabbed a regular bow, and stepped over to the stop, letting Shirou stand aside, as she readied her shot, calming down, and focusing, drawing back the string...

... then the string snapped.

Shirou was not surprised. In fact, he was counting on it. “Well, then...”

“W-Wait a minute! That bow has to be modified, somehow! Give me that!” Nanami snapped, grabbing the bow from Shirou, and attempting the same shot... But much to her shock, despite her extra care, the string also snapped.

“I believe you’ll be paying for those,” Shirou replied dryly. “If you can’t make the shot... Well, that settles it. Sorry, Nanami, but still... It was an excellent game.”

Nanami dropped the bow in shock, her hands trembling. There was no way this was possible. He had to be cheating, somehow... But she knew, like it or not, that Shirou had beaten her. She simply didn’t have the control to perform the same shot, even with a two-star Goku Uniform. “I... I conceed defeat.”

Homurahara’s students then erupted into celebration, while Honnouji’s team were struck with despair. With the excited chanting of “E-MI-YA! E-MI-YA!”, Shirou found himself being hoisted into the air by a few of his stronger peers, uplifted by the gratitude surrounding him, carrying him off.

Nanami was left to her own thoughts. And her first thought was, how was she going to report this to Sanageyama? Or for matter, Satsuki herself? She was going to be demoted for sure...

---

Shirou sighed, sitting at his living room table, finally having peace and quiet to himself after all the celebration. The feeling of being able to perform that good deed was better than than the actual celebrations. But it was a nice reprieve after defeating his greatest opponent in archery.

Then there was a knock at the front door. He blinked, and went to answer it. “Hello?”

“Ah, hello, Emiya-kun,” spoke Rin, who was standing at the other side of the door, with a slight smirk on her face. “I figured it was better to bring this up when we were alone. I must say, I was rather surprised. Since when did you know reinforcement magecraft?”

Now it was Shirou’s turn to go pale. Uh-oh. In taking that risk, he had exposed himself to a fellow magus... And of all the people who happened to be one, it was none other than Tohsaka...

---

“I can’t believe this. Of all the schools you lose to, you lost to Homurahara Academy’s team?” Uzu Sanageyama (the Athletic Committee Chair of Honnouji Academy) sighed, as he sat back in his chair in the student council’s chamber, looking down at Nanami, who was kneeling before him desperately, begging for forgiveness for her failure. In front of the other committee chairs, this would look like a humuliation. “You’re a perfect shot! How did you lose?”

“There was one person on their team. A student who was just as good a shot as me... No, better than me,” Nanami replied, wincing, her head bowed, “in our final round, he matched me shot-for-shot with a regular bow. He even performed a shot that I couldn’t even so much as attempt with the same bow without breaking the bowstring.”

The room was silent. That silence was soon broken by Nonon Jakuzure, the pink-haired girl in the three-star marching band uniform, the Non-Athletic Committee Chair, with an excited grin, “okay, I need to see this. Please tell me there’s video footage of this.”

“Indeed, I find such a claim to be rather audacious,” Ira Gamagoori, Disciplinary Committee Chair, the blonde-haired man near the back of the Elite Four, noted. He was notable for being the largest person in the room by far. “Even someone that skills shouldn’t be able to beat a two-star uniform at what it was designed for.”

“Thankfully, we do have video evidence and analysis, just in case. And I can determine, regardless of circumstances, that the shots were entirely legitimate. Either that, or they were so flawlessly faked that even I can’t discover find any signs of it,” mused Houka Inumuta, the slim blue-haired young man with matching blue glasses, who was the Information and Strategy Committee Chair, replaying videos from multiple angles of the competition, specifically Shirou’s shots.

Sitting above the rest, was Satsuki Kiryuin herself, calmly sipping from a cup of tea was she listened to the conversation with interest. She herself had long, black hair, blue eyes, an immaculate white uniform, with a katana at her side. “Who was the one who beat you, Joshuyo-san?”

“Shirou Emiya, Satsuki-sama. Apparently, he only rejoined the team a week ago to help beat us,” Nanami spoke meekly, terrified about what kind of punishment would be inflicted upon her.

After a brief moment of contemplation, Satsuki stood up, tapping the sheath of her katana on the floor, then instructed, “you will not be demoted or stripped of your uniform. None of us could have prepared for an occurance like this. Your own skill is not in question, you will simply defeated by an opponent whose conviction and skill exceeded all expectations. However, I expect you to be prepared for a rematch, and you will sharpen your skills to absolute perfection, otherwise you will be demoted in the event of another loss.”

“T-Thank you so much, Satsuki-sama,” Nanami said. “I will not let you down!”

After the archery club president hurriedly left the room, Satsuki sat back down, going back to drinking her tea. “Sanageyama, I think we need to make a trip to Fuyuki City...”