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WMG / Mars Attacks!

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Professor Kessler was actually totally right about the Martians having telepathy
They may not even know they have it - but it can't project communication, only motivations for the Rule of Funny. Whenever Martian leaders or officers are planning a trick, their grunt soldiers are automatically in on what's about to progress and act accordingly. For instance: At the end when the Martian Leader looks like he's about to strike a deal with the president, the grunts look confused - but they don't blast their leader for treason or anything - they're just acting along with the ruse to convince the president that the Martian Leader is serious.

This is how Taffy survived the attack on the White House.
She was rescued by Byron's sons and hid at their apartment.

It's Spring Break on Mars.
Really, the whole invasion was the Martian equivalent of a long drunken weekend. Only with blasters and bombs rather than babes and bongs.


The Martian expedition to Earth was just a midnight stop looking for weed.
Or the martian equivalent, the nuclear bombs. They get high with that, and they knew earth is full of that stuff.

The aliens that inspired the Moai statues will not be happy to learn that the Martians knock them down.
Although those aliens might me glad to know that Earth found a way to take care of the Martians.

The Martians are Science Fiction Fanboys.
The Martians have been intercepting our Alien Invasion movies for years and decided to act out their own alien invasion movie for fun.

The Martians did attack because of the bird
As noted in the main page, any time a bird is shown near martians they go for it, perhaps in the Martian past they were attacked by a bird like species, and they assumed earth is the origin point of them after the dove was released, they aren't jerkasses, just sadistic vengence.

This movie was a propaganda film created by Cerberus to indoctrinate new recruits
It makes about as much sense as anything in the movie.

The Martians from the original trading cards caused the destruction of Mars themselves
Years of careless mining and subterranean experimentation ultimately damaged the interior of the planet, causing the unspecified "nuclear pressures" that would ultimately destroy it. After some big experiment gone wrong caused irreparable damage, the Martian leadership decided to cover the truth, as they were afraid it would cause revolts, and attributed the upcoming destruction to natural causes. In this regard, the conquest of Earth also served as a mass distraction tactic for their own people.