Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
— Dilbert
An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.
— Dilbert
All of your co-workers are fools. You must learn to pity and tolerate them.
— Dilbert
The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job.
— Dilbert
"And now that that's all done with, please enjoy this song from Lonestar, while I sit in my little cubicle, only being paid minimum wage to tell you ungrateful fools this stuff!"
— A weather reporter, Calvin & Hobbes: The Series, "Surge"