This is the story of a man named Stanley.
— The narrator's first lines in the game.
Eight!
— 8 button (demo only), 8 key on the boss' keypad upon being pushed 8 times in the remake, 8 button (from The Stanley Parable 8)
''This game just takes away everything from you, and gives nothing back. I've never been shit on— even Call of Duty on Veteran difficulty doesn't poop on your life this hard."
Oh, dear me, what's the matter, Stanley? Is it that you have no idea where you are going or what you're supposed to be doing right now? Or did you just assume when you saw that timer that something in this room was capable of turning it off? I mean, look at you, running from button to button, screen to screen, clicking on every little thing in this room! These numbered buttons! No! These colored ones! Or maybe this big red button! Or this door! Everything! Anything! Something here will save me! Why would you think that, Stanley? That this video game can be beaten, won, solved? Do you have any idea what your purpose in this place is? Stanley, you're in for quite a disappointment. But here's a spoiler for you: that timer isn't a catalyst to keep the action moving along. It's just seconds ticking away to your death. You're only still playing instead of watching a cutscene because I want to watch you for every moment that you're powerless, to see you made humble. This is not a challenge, it's a tragedy. You wanted to control this world, that's fine. But I'm going to destroy it first, so you can't.
— The Narrator, courtesy of the Countdown Ending, summing up the game in a nutshell.
Stanley. This is me being serious. In fact, this is my serious room. It's where I come to be serious. That table is the most serious table I could find. I looked at many, many tables. Hundreds of tables. It's possible I looked at over a thousand tables, I honestly don't know, the specific number isn't as important as the understanding that all of the tables I looked at, this one is the most serious. I relate this story to impress upon you the extent to which this is the most serious room I have, which is why I've brought you here. You just tried to activate server cheats, which of course runs the risk of breaking the entire game. You've got no respect for the strict order of scripted narrative events and I just can't have that. It's time to get serious, Stanley. no jokes, no games. Outside of this room I might be more tolerant of those things, but now we're in the room. Which is why I'm subjecting you to the most serious punishment I can think of: One hundred, billion, trillion years standing here in the serious room. Perhaps after that we can talk about the severity of your actions and whether you've learned anything, but until then, serious room. GO!
—The Narrator, Serious Ending
...but they didn't understand that the game was never meant to be funny! It was meant to have a point! It was meant to speak to the human condition! "But where are the jokes? Where are the jokes?" they bemoaned, they screamed. They gnashed their teeth and said "Entertain us!" It wasn't enough. They had to leave a pathetic little thumbs-down review and make all of their pitiful demands. But then, "He's talking too much," they said! First he didn't entertain us, now he won't shut up! It's the inconsistency! It's the lack of accountability! It's the unwillingness to examine with an uncompromising heart the words they are speaking into the world! As though there were no consequences to someone's lack of cohesion in their examination of others! But of course absolutely anyone can leave a review, so here's what we get! We get these demands that seek everything, and are accountable to nothing! We get these demands that say "Ohh, there should be a skip button! You should be able to freeze Stanley in place, while the Narrator sits there forever and ever! We want all of this in the new Stanley Parable! We demand it!" And then, because it was said, because it was spoken, now it simply has to happen! The most immediate desires, every single thing demanded by every person at every moment in time, if someone wants it then it's a crime not to bring it into being! Have we been given to indulging every fleeting whim for no reason other than to do so? Yes! Yes! It seems that this is now the world we live in! It seems that we are a people living in such bleakness and discomfort with ourselves that our entertainment is now our lives! It has come to represent us! It absolutely must speak to who we are as people! Because otherwise, without our entertainment, we have nothing! Without entertainment we would have to face inward toward the cruel bleakness inside of ourselves. We would turn to look at our deeper nature and find a resounding emptiness gazing back with unyielding aggression. And so - so because of this - we require that our amusements and our play things and our flights of fancy be so impossibly captivating that they consume all of our attention, turn our heads completely away from the bleakness! In effect, we have demanded that our entertainment be the collapse of ourselves! What a pitiful reflection of humanity these entertainments are! What a shameful mirror to the human spirit they project! I'm not mad. I'm not mad about any of this. I'm at peace with it. I am the calm center of gravity around which these perversions hurl themselves. I am a waypoint for reasonable and collected discourse. They're the ones that are mad! They're the ones who couldn't stand the idea of me using my game to try to say something! Maybe they were just jealous of me? Yes...yes, of course. They've been jealous of me this whole time! They are mired in fear and insecurity, and cannot help but attempt to tear me down. What a sad state of affairs. When you read these reviews now you can see it. You can taste the bitter resentment. And my, how good does it feel now to speak truth to these words! To finally allow these thoughts out! Contained and managed for so long, neutered and sterilized! At last I am free to truly think, to feel! It must be that they were so discontent with themselves, they couldn't help but leave a negative review on Steam. Perhaps it says far more about them than it ever did about me. Perhaps the state of their psychological being was in such tatters, and my constitution and willpower are so ironclad in comparison, perhaps it was this state that they saw some outlet in which to tear me down! This, you can see, is clearly why they felt the need to expect the game be funny. That it be filled with yuks, and whimsical humor. That it amuse them endlessly from start to finish...but they didn't understand that the game was never meant to be funny! (repeat ad infinitum)
— The Narrator, The Skip Button Ending
—the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never—
— The Narrator, The Skip Button Ending
And try not to lose this one too, you dolt.
— The Narrator after giving Stanley a replacement Reassurance Bucket a few resets following the Escape Pod ending with the Bucket
Woah woah woah! W-! H-Hang on a second, Stanley! I- O-One second, please! I need to deal with something for a moment! Just stay right there! (to the no-clipping player) Who the hell are you?! I'm trying to run a critically-acclaimed best-selling video game over here, if you don't mind! Why are you flying around out here all the way outside of the level? I- Oh, I see! You're one of those "content creators", aren't you? Well, I made all of the content you're seeing here, so you're not really creating anything, are you?
You're more akin to a "content paparazzi"… or some kind of flying photographic rat; scurrying around behind-the-scenes taking minuscule rat photos, for your rat blog on a much smaller version of the internet… for rats. Well, go ahead, rat boy! Stick your nose into every computer desk, file cabinet or piece of 3D cheese! The only thing you'll find… is disappointment.
You're more akin to a "content paparazzi"… or some kind of flying photographic rat; scurrying around behind-the-scenes taking minuscule rat photos, for your rat blog on a much smaller version of the internet… for rats. Well, go ahead, rat boy! Stick your nose into every computer desk, file cabinet or piece of 3D cheese! The only thing you'll find… is disappointment.
— The Narrator in the intro of Boundary Break's Ultra Deluxe episode
The Stanley Parable is a first person exploration game. You will play as Stanley, and you will not play as Stanley. You will follow a story, you will not follow a story. You will have a choice, you will have no choice. The game will end, the game will never end.
— Steam
