History Quotes / IHatePastMe

-->-- '''Uriah Olathaire''', ''[[Literature/HorusHeresy The Last Church]]'' ''(fan-animated adaptation)''

'''Old Biff:''' ''({{Dope Slap}}s Young Biff)'' It's "leave", ''you idiot!'' "Make like a ''tree'' and ''leave''"! You sound like a damned ''fool'' when you say it wrong!

->'''Buzz Lightyear #2:''' [Holding Buzz against the glass after he snuck into his display, and talking to his "Mission Log"] Buzz Lightyear to Star Command. I have an AWOL Space Ranger.\\

->'''Narrator Kuzco:''' So, this is where you came in. See? Just like I said, I'm the victim here. I didn't do anything and they ruined my life and took everything I had --
->'''Kuzco:''' Hey, give it a rest up there, will ya?
->'''Narrator Kuzco:''' What? I'm just telling them what happened.
->'''Kuzco:''' Who are you kidding, pal? They saw the whole thing, they know what happened.
->'''Narrator Kuzco:''' Well, yeah, but...
->'''Kuzco:''' Just leave me alone.

->"And then, we get this episode's absolutely hilarious money shot: Clark meets Future Clark in what is clearly an amazing use of the technology pioneered by ''Film/{{The Parent Trap|1961}}.'' I was originally turned off by the fact that Superman is a bit of a total jerk to his past self, but come on. Wouldn't you be?"
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/smallville-recap-episode-4-homecoming/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Homecoming")

-> [[color:#626262:PAST ME IS ALWAYS SO TERRIBLE, EVEN WHEN I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED BEING HIM.]]

->''"I also like the last panel! Wait, I'm a cartoonist enjoying the artwork from something I made years ago? This doesn't feel right. This isn't natural. THIS ISN'T HOW ARTISTS WORK"''

-->--'''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Crow T. Robot]]''', ''[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S08E21TimeChasers Time Chasers]]''

-->--'''[[VideoGame/MegaManClassic Quint]]''', ''[[ComicBook/MegaManArchieComics Rock of Ages]]''

-->--'''[[Series/DoctorWho Fifth Doctor]]''', ''[[Recap/DoctorWho20thASTheFiveDoctors The Five Doctors]]''

->'''Ebenezer Scrooge''': Spirit, show me no more. Why do you delight in torturing me?\\
'''Ghost of Christmas Past''': I told you, these are the shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me.
-->--''Film/TheMuppetChristmasCarol''

->Stop acting like it's so embarrassing you used to be me.

->'''Past Johnny''': Untwist your panties, Older Me, I'm a star!\\
'''Present Johnny''': [[ThisIsReality This is a military operation, ''not'' a movie set!]]\\
'''Past Johnny''': I'm only the best fighter here... but ''your'' daughter has me sitting at the kids table!\\
'''Present Johnny''': (''[[DopeSlap bitchslaps]] his past self'') ''Our'' daughter is C.O.! A little humility ''might'' earn her respect!\\
'''Past Johnny''': Dad always said "Hungry people eat lunch, humble people serve it."\\
'''Present Johnny''': ''[[AbusiveParents Dad was an asshole!]]'' Hollywood made ''us'' an even bigger one! (''[[MythologyGag grabs his past self's sunglasses and stomps on them]]'')

->'''Kotal Kahn''': I care not for your younger self.\\
'''Erron Black''': I ''was'' a bit much, wasn't I?\\
'''Kotal Kahn''': How did you survive your youth?

-->-- '''Kelly Grayson''', ''Series/TheOrville'', "[[Recap/TheOrvilleS2E13TomorrowAndTomorrowAndTomorrow Tomorrow And Tomorrow And Tomorrow]]"

->'''Present Squares''': Stop.\\
'''Past Squares''': Huh?! Wh-who are you?\\
'''Present Squares''': I'm Squares. I'm the person you become after a lot of people go out of their way to help you.\\
'''Past Squares''': What are you talking about...?\\
'''Present Squares''': Oh, how ignorant and naive I was.\\
'''Past Squares''': Fool! Answer me!\\
'''Present Squares''': I could insist for you to stop all this right here and now. But the only way I was able to grow was by making mistakes. It makes it quite difficult to decide what to do with you. Does that make sense, past me?\\
'''Past Squares''': I don't know what you're rambling on about. Just get out of my way! [[ImpliedDeathThreat Don't make me make you.]]\\
'''Present Squares''': Oh? [[BringIt I'd like to see you try.]]

->'''Dr. Neo Cortex''': Do you have any idea how stubborn I used to be?\\
'''Aku-Aku and Coco''': [[BluntYes Yes.]]

-->--''Literature/TheMagicians''

-->--''ComicBook/Venom2021''

->''"What can I say to you? I remember how it felt to take that throne. All that it meant. And all that it did not. A [[WarGod god of war]]... a [[TraumaCongaLine god of pain]]. [[DeathSeeker Of suffering]]. [[DestroyerDeity Of destruction]]. The Norns said I chase a redemption that [[BeyondRedemption I know I can never deserve]]. What does that make me? God of [[CosmicPlaything fools]]. God of... [[HopeBringer hope]]. '[[HopeSpringsEternal When all else is lost...]]' You lost everything. And everyone. And you became... There is no forgiving you. You chose... I chose. What now? [[OldShame Should I, this same man, should I sit]]? Take? Proclaim? Lead? Place myself in service? In service. Should I... lose everything and everyone... will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I do have hope. You are [[AxCrazy cruel]], and [[RageAgainstTheHeavens arrogant]], and [[ItsAllAboutMe selfish]]. But... [[DeconstructedTrope you are more than that]]. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre You have always been more than what others saw. You are more than that]]."''
-->-- '''Kratos''' speaking to a vision of his younger self''', ''VideoGame/GodOfWarRagnarok'', "Valhalla DLC"

->''"What can I say to you? I remember how it felt to take that throne. All that it meant. And all that it did not. A [[WarGod god of war]]... a [[TraumaCongaLine god of pain]]. [[DeathSeeker Of suffering]]. [[DestroyerDeity Of destruction]]. The Norns said I chase a redemption that [[BeyondRedemption I know I can never deserve]]. What does that make me? God of [[CosmicPlaything fools]]. God of... [[HopeBringer hope]]. '[[HopeSpringsEternal When all else is lost...]]' You lost everything. And everyone. And you became... There is no forgiving you. You chose... I chose. What now? [[OldShame Should I, this same man, should I sit]]? Take? Proclaim? Lead? Place myself in service? In service. Should I... lose everything and everyone... will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I do have hope. You are [[AxCrazy cruel]], and [[RageAgainstTheHeavens arrogant]], and [[It's AllAboutMe selfish]]. But... [[DeconstructedTrope you are more than that]]. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre You have always been more than what others saw. You are more than that]]."''

->''"What can I say to you? I remember how it felt to take that throne. All that it meant. And all that it did now. A god of war... a god of pain. Of suffering. Of destruction. The Norns said I chase a redemption that I know I can never deserve. What does that make me? God of [[CosmicPlaything fools]]. God of... [[HopeBringer hope]]. 'When all else is lost...' You lost everything. And everyone. And you became... There is no forgiving you. You chose... I chose. What now? [[OldShame Should I, this same man, should I sit]]? Take? Proclaim? Lead? Place myself in service? In service. Should I... lose everything and everyone... will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I do have hope. You are cruel, and arrogant, and selfish. But... [[DeconstructedTrope you are more than that]]. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre You have always been more than what others saw. You are more than that]]."''

-->-- '''Kratos speaking to a vision of his younger self''', ''VideoGame/GodOfWarRagnarok'', "Valhalla DLC"

->''"What can I say to you? I remember how it felt to take that throne. All that it meant. And all that it did now. A god of war... a god of pain. Of war. Of destruction. The Norns said I chase a redemption that I know I can never deserve. What does that make me? God of [[CosmicPlaything fools]]. God of... [[HopeBringer hope]]. 'When all else is lost...' You lost everything. And everyone. And you became... There is no forgiving you. You chose... I chose. What now? [[OldShame Should I, this same man, should I sit]]? Take? Proclaim? Lead? Place myself in service? In service. Should I... lose everything and everyone... will there still be enough left inside so that I do not become you? I do not know. But I do have hope. You are cruel, and arrogant, and selfish. But... [[DeconstructedTrope you are more than that]]. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre You have always been more than what others saw. You are more than that]]."''

->''"Man, was I a jerk a half-hour ago."''
-->--'''[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Crow T. Robot]]''', ''[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S08E21TimeChasers Time Chasers]]''

->''"I wish I could say I was treated badly as a child. You know, to give reason for why turned out the way I did. But I could not. Instead, I was indulged and became something of a spoiled brat, given to drinking and carousing and bouts of petulance. Looking back, I realize what a little shit I was. But of course, it's the lot of old men to look back upon their youth and realize too late all the mistakes they made."''

'''Present Johnny''': ''[[ParentalIssues Dad was an asshole!]]'' Hollywood made ''us'' an even bigger one! (''[[MythologyGag grabs his past self's sunglasses and stomps on them]]'')

'''Present Johnny''': This is a military operation, ''not'' a movie set!\\
'''Past Johnny''': I'm only the best fighter here...but ''your'' daughter has me sitting at the kids table!\\
'''Present Johnny''': (''bitchslaps his past self'') ''Our'' daughter is the C.O.! A little humility might earn her respect!\\

'''Present Johnny''': ''[[ParentalIssues DAD WAS AN ASSHOLE!]]'' Hollywood made us an even bigger one!

-->--''[[Literature/TheMagicians The Magician's Land]]''

-->-- '''[[spoiler: Agent Carolina]]''' to the [[IronicHell Labyrinth]] version of their past self, ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'', "Omphalos"

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperor'sNewGroove''

Narrator!Kuzco: So, this is where you came in. See? Just like I said, I'm the victim here. I didn't do anything and they ruined my life and took everything I had --
Kuzco: Hey, give it a rest up there, will ya?
Narrator!Kuzco: What? I'm just telling them what happened.
Kuzco: Who are you kidding, pal? They saw the whole thing, they know what happened.
Narrator!Kuzco: Well, yeah, but...
Kuzco: Just leave me alone.