Funny / Waterloo

• Wellington dealing with his "scum of the earth" soldiers.
  Wellington: You know the penalty of plundering, sir?
  Soldier: Oh, ah... stoppage of gin, sir?
  Wellington: Damn you, sir, it's death!
• A bugle player begins sounding off right next to Wellington's ear (to the commander's annoyance).
  Wellington: (angrily) Stop that useless noise! (turns to the bugler with an embarrassed smile) You'll hurt yourself.
• During Napoleon's near-victory:
  Wellington: If there is anything in this world about which I know positively nothing... it is agriculture.

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