Funny / That'll Teach 'Em

Season 1:

• The Jelly Babies scene:
  (Mr. Rockell lifts up Nic Hall's mattress, finding he's hidden Jelly Babies)
  Mr. Rockell: Oh
  Nic Hall: Present for you, sir
  Mr. Rockell: Are these your babies?
  Nic Hall: No they're yours, sir.
  Mr. Rockell: They certainly are - Mr. Perry!
  Mr. Perry: WHAT?!
  Mr. Rockell: Someone has been pregnant, and given birth to babies! Fine conception!

Season 3:

• Scott Peters running around the tree.
• Matron having the sheer audacity to sniff the boys' armpits.
  Matron: You smell quite sweet.
  Gilroy: Thank you, Matron.
  Matron: Why do you smell sweet?
  Gilroy: I had a wash last night.
  Matron: Well he had a wash last night and he doesn't smell sweet.
• Hollie Dearman explaining the food problem:
  Holly: You've seen that I heave when I look at the food, and I can't stay here if I'm not eatin'. It's just not good for me.
  Matron: Can I just say that eatin', is the word "eating", it's got a "G" on the end.
• Jess Boulton scoring 0/20 on a biology test.
  Jess: 0/20.
  (Laughter)
  Mr. Williams: You're an idiot! A numbskull! A fool! And that'll have to change!
• "Get your head out of your hands. I sincerely doubt there's a brain in there big enough to way it down to that extent that it needs propping up."
• Mr. Warr's classic Death Glare during his rant directed at James Ingram, which looks more akin to a hand-drawn sad face.
• This:
  Miss Gibson: I will not have every rehearsal like this because it'll kill me.
  Qadeer Razaque: Good.
• "Unlike you. Look at your tie. There's a gap here. I could get a train through that".
• "Why are you standing like that? You're standing like a catwalk model, don't".
• "Are you holding the wall up, Ming"?