- Angel telling the school district officials he cheated by stealing the answers from the mailman after strangling him and that his body is now "decomposing in his locker". What makes it funnier is Pancho laughing hysterically at this for a long time.
- "On the third day of Christmas a cholo came to me..."
- Some of the random comments Escalante's students say near the start of the movie. Special mention goes to "Can we talk about sex?"
- This scenario.(Escalante's class is struggling with a math problem)(Lupe raises her hand)Escalante: Finally, the answer to my prayers.Lupe: May I use the restroom?
- When Angel is the first one to Escalante's class, he looks at the board and sees "CALCULUS" written.Angel: What's cal-coo-lus?
- Escalante's shining moments of snark.Secretary: Did you hear? We finally got the computers!Escalante: Yup. That'll do it.
- When Escalante walks into English lessons, and everyone translates his Spanish conversation into English.
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