Funny / Romeo and Juliet

• The scene where Romeo is wangst-ing to Benvolio about his breakup with Rosaline, and his overdramatic soliloquy gets interrupted by the entrance of a Capulet servant. Particularly funny because it seems like something that would happen in a parody of Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare wasn't above poking fun at his character's melodrama (although the real drama for Romeo hasn't set in yet at this point in the play).
  Not mad, but bound more than a madman is,
  Shut in a prison, kept without my food,
  Whipped and tormented and...god-den, good fellow.
• The scene where the Nurse takes forever to get to the point, driving Juliet completely up the wall.
  Juliet: How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath/To say to me that thou art out of breath?
  • Especially when said in the stereotypical annoyed-teenage-girl voice.
  • Pretty much any of the Nurse's filthy jokes count too.
• The Nurse tells a story about Juliet as a toddler, indicating she and her late husband shared the same dirty sense of humour:
  For even the day before, she broke her brow,
  And then my husband — God be with his soul!
  He was a merry man — took up the child:
  "Yea," quoth he, "dost thou fall upon thy face?
  Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit;
  Wilt thou not, Jule?" and, by my holidam,
  The pretty wretch left crying and said "Ay."
  • Juliet's lines basically say "can you stop telling me about embarrassing things I did at the age of three."
  • And in the 1968 version, Lady Capulet is scandalised by the jokes, but Juliet is giggling the whole time.
• Before that, Mercutio gleefully mocking the Nurse (in some productions, in tandem with Benvolio) and her reaction.
  (Enter Nurse and PETER.)
  Mercutio: A sail, a sail!
  Benvolio: Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
  [...]
  Nurse: My fan, Peter.
  Mercutio: Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan's the fairer face.
• Depending on how it's performed, this line:
  Nurse: Is it good e'en?
  Mercutio: 'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the *prick* of noon.
• Mercutio has the distinction of being funny even when he's dying. "Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man." And all his other incredibly filthy jokes count too.
• Peter threatening to kill the musicians if they don't play him a song.
• The beginning where Capulet's men taunt the Montagues with thumb-biting, and trying to explain "oh well I wasn't biting AT you" as though that helped clear things up.
  Sampson: (aside to Gregory) Is the law of our side, if I say 'Aye'?
  Gregory: No.
  Sampson: No sir, I do not bite my thumb at you sir, but I bite my thumb.
• Depending on your sense of humor, the ending is hilarious.
• Seriously guys, there's like a dick joke a scene, especially in the early part of the show, when Sampson is telling Gregory of how well-endowed he is.
  Sampson: I am a pretty piece of flesh!
  Gregory: 'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor John.
  • Note that poor John is a tiny, pathetic dried fish.
• The balcony scene has the potential to be a riot depending on the performance.
  • When Juliet is moping about the fact that Romeo is a Montague, Romeo eventually jumps out and interrupts her soliloquy with a hamtastic declaration of love. Juliet's initial response is basically "Who is this weirdo that's been eavesdropping on me for the last five minutes?"
    • And in the 1968 version, she gives a hilarious startled "oh!" and starts trying to cover up her chest. She was previously swooning over the balcony.
  • Keeping in mind that Romeo and Juliet are basically horny teenagers, this exchange. Yes, they're talking about exchanging vows, but it can just as easily be turned into Juliet playing coy:
    Romeo: O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
    Juliet: What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?
  • When Juliet is trying to bid Romeo farewell, but the Nurse keeps interrupting.
    Nurse: Madam!
    Juliet: I come, anon! (to Romeo) But if thou mean'st not well, I do beseech thee-
    Nurse: Madam!
    Juliet: By and by, I COME! (to Romeo) -to cease thy suit, and leave me to my grief.
• Depending on how the actress plays it, Juliet refusing to marry Paris can come across as quite funny. In context, the girl is in tears over her cousin's death and Romeo's banishment (which she can't openly grieve about). Her mother tries to give her "joyous news" which is basically "you're marrying someone you don't even know next week, yay right?" - and Olivia Hussey in the 1968 version especially gets a lot of humor out of "he shall not make me there a 'joyful bride'", delivering it as if she's saying "you thought that would cheer me up? Are you mad, woman?"
  • Same version - she also throws a pillow across the room in anger. Safe to say, that wasn't the reaction her parents were expecting.
• While Mercutio’s Queen Mab speech is both awe inspiring and little frightening, Romeo’s reaction provides an excellent bit of Mood Whiplash
  Romeo: Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace! Thou talk'st of nothing. ^{Or in modern English} Calm down Mercutio, you’re tripping out over nothing!

• In the modernised 1996 film adaption, we have the scene where Romeo appears behind Juliet at the pool. He starts talking behind her, resulting in her turning around, screaming quite loudly and accidentally dragging both of them into the pool.

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