Funny / Orlando: A Biography

• People used to seeing Tilda Swinton play villains or ice queens may be surprised to see her playing a funny, naive, rather adorkable hero/ine:
• After Elizabeth I has been passionately leching all over Orlando, climaxing with offering Orlando a beautiful house on the condition that he never fade or grow old, Orlando returns to his own chamber:
  Orlando: [flops down on bed, stares into space for a moment. Looks at camera] Very interesting person.
• After Orlando has been jilted, his servants can't wake him up:
  [Servant #1 walks upstairs and into Orlando's bedroom. Servant #1 leans over sleeping Orlando and clears throat. Nothing happens. Clears throat louder. CUT TO Servant#1 and Servant #2 walking upstairs. Servant #1 jiggles Orlando's wrist; Orlando stays asleep. Servant #1 snaps fingers and waves hand in front of Orlando's face. Orlando stays asleep. CUT TO Servant #1, Servant #2 and Servant #3 walking upstairs]
  Servant #1, Servant #2 and Servant #3: [brightly, in unison] Good morning!
  Servant #1: It's now time to awake!
  Servant #3: To such a fine morning!
  Servant #2: ...From such a long, refreshing sleep!
  [CUT TO Doctor and Servant #4 walking upstairs]
  Doctor: Six days, you say?
  Servant #4: Tomorrow will be the seventh.
  [CUT TO bedroom, where Servant #5 is singing a tenor aria in an attempt to Orlando up]
  Servant #5: "This pleasing, shining, wondrous day—"
  [Doctor shoves Servant #5 out of the way. Examines Orlando]
  Doctor: The lord Orlando...is sleeping.
  [Orlando wakes and sits up]
  Orlando: [to no one in particular] I can find only three words to describe the female sex. (Beat) None of which are worth expressing.