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Funny / Battleground (1949)

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  • "Ben and I could watch them for you. It'd be fun... we'll play house." "Tak... I think we should do that."
  • Ben pouring the soda on Alli as revenge for her prank in "Nothing to Hide."
    • And Alli setting up the prank. "I thought I'd feel worse."
  • "He's the Secretariat of unfunny."
  • Tak "promoting" Cassandra to be Jordan's assistant.
  • Tak's reaction to his father's joining the Creighton campaign. "I welcome my father to the campaign. He seems a natural fit for Governor Creighton, seeing as my father has always been an advocate for big business and wealthy special interest groups." "Off the record." "(Bleep) me."
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  • "Don't thank me - thank a stripper named Peppermint from Janesville."
  • "I will be back. After I retrieve my shoe. From the mud."
    • "You know, KJ, this is actually a shoes-on event." "SHUT UP."
  • Tak's confusion when he arrives to the parking lot in the morning before Ben in "Nothing to Hide."
    • "I thought you were dead."
  • "Trip home was great. I didn't have to sleep in the playroom." "Oh... oh."
  • "She'll be posting about her positions on Twitter... what's Twitter?" (hangs up)
  • "She's not going to be happy." "She's never happy, Lindsay. She's an unhappy woman." "You're not helping."
  • The pitch-perfect Stylistic Suck of the MTV show in "Flashback."
  • "Are you kidding? I don't want to do a press conference. Let's go get a drink."
  • "What are you doing here, Ben?" "I work here. With you." "...right."
  • Tak and Cole's reaction to Alli telling them she can basically hack their e-mail at will.
  • "Whatever they have is worse, and we've got to figure out what it is. Soon." "Did that guy look like Papa Smurf to you?" "Yes!"
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  • "I don't think that went very well."