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Funny / Battle of the Bulge

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  • In spite of the seriousness of the situation. Hessler's jab at General Kohler and the shows "wonder weapon" models he's shown, is a little funny.
    Col. Hessler: It's a very beautiful model, General. It proves that the Germans are still the world's best toy makers.
  • Sgt. Guffy and Louise bickering while splitting up their profits.
    Sgt. Guffy: Here's your half, 320 dollars, now what'd you make?
    Louise: 1,230 dollars.
    Sgt. Guffy: Oh? Whatta you been sellin? I don't see much stock gone.
    Louise: Take it.
    Sgt. Guffy: I won't take it until I know how you made it! What do you think I am?
    Louise: What do you think I am!
    • An Guffy's initial reaction to Louise explanation that he must be in love with her.
    Sgt. Guffy: (walks by the chicken box trying to think only to be interrupted by one of the chicken's cackles) Shattup! (kicks the box)
  • One word: "NUTS!"