I wake up in my bed, with an ice-pack on my head and the weirdest vision I have had for a long, long time. Everyone was yelling and laughing and throwing Nidoran at me. Good times, good times.
Though, after rubbing the huge bump on my head then proceeding to touch the freshly made cuts on my face. I have come to conclusion that that particular bout of insanity actually happened. Logging away that particular event into the recessions of my mind, I remember that I had something important to do today. Something about receiving my first Pokemon and becoming a trainer and all that jazz.
I put on my clothes, grab my bag and head downstairs. Mom doesn't even bother me as I walk to the door, I must be lucky. Most Moms I hear of don't ever shut up when their kid becomes a trainer, or throws the door at them. Whatever parental skills are in at the moment. I open the door and head on out.
I look around the town -"town" is really stretching it as it's only got two houses and lab. "Glorified settlement" is a more appropriate for it- to see if the few townsfolk have anything interesting to say.
Rachel: Hello there! I'm-
NPC: Technology is incredible!
Nope, they're about as interesting and enticing as sand paper.
I decided that procrastinating the inevitable visit to the asylum was just going to backfire on me in the long run. So I suck it up an-
Rachel: Ooooh~ That is some Enticing Grass...!
Trendy Sayings Guy: "Hmm.... Enticing Grass... Yeah! Enticing Grass is the most hip and happening thing around! I mean, shesh! Who hasn't heard of Enticing Grass...? Holy fuck, this really is the shit.
And Trendy Sayings Guy goes off to make cheap, crappy shirts, dolls and other Enticing Grass merchandise for the Dewford Fan Club.
Rachel: I don't think anyone will mind me having a run through it~
So I head up and run towards the large patches of long grass. I take my first step in the patch of long grass and-
Prof. Oak: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKER!?"
It was.............. Dumblydore! Prefessor Oask!
Prof. Oak: "I CAN TELL VIA MY PSYCHICS THAT YOU HAVE NO POKEMON, DO YOU WANT TO GET MAULED TO DEATH BY THE WILD PIGEONS AND PURPLEMICE!?"
Rachel: Please don't eat me-
Prof. Oak: "FOLLOW! NOW! WHATSYOURNAME?"
I had no choice but to follow the madman to his mental house. Oh well, I though to myself, It couldn't possibly get any-
Cal: "HEEHEEHOOHOOHAAHAA"
Spoke too soon.
So after forcefully dragging me across the laboratory floor, Professor Oak threw me on the ground besides Cal who started cackling insanely. I prayed to whatever god there was to save me from these loonies.
Cal: "HEEHEE! AHAHAHAHA!?"
Prof. Oak: "HMMM? OH YES, TODAY YOU WILL BE GETTING YOUR STARTER POKEMON AND BEING YOU ADVENTURE AS A POKEMON TRAINER. I USED TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO-ONE EVER WAS. BUT IN MY OLD AGE, AND THE FACT THAT I LOST ALL MY OTHER POKEMON IN A GAME OF CANASTA WITH AGATHA, I ONLY HAVE THESE THREE LEFT. BECAUSE I HATE YOU CAL, RACHEL WILL GET FIRST PICK."
Rachel: Uh, thanks.... I guess. Wait, didn't you just forget my na-
Prof. Oak: "JUST PICK A POKEMON!"
Rachel: GAH!
Without thinking, I quickly grab the last ball on the desk.
Prof. Oak: "HMMM? SO YOU PICKED CHARMANDER?"
Rachel: YES! WHATEVER YOU SAY D:>
Prof. Oak: "GOOD. CAL, YOU PICK!"
While Cal was choosing between the two remaining Pokemon (which he picked in a game of "Eenie-Meenie-Minie-Mo") I was contemplating on what nickname my Charmander.
I came up with an awesome name, "Dragony". Yet, when I tried to input it into the system, it kept saying that this Pokemon could not be renamed. So wait, this Pokemon already had a name?
Before I could decipher this mystery, Cal had already picked his Pokemon and Oak was yelling at us again. Some old rant about the "good old days" and for us to "get out of his site, oh and pick up a package in Viridian if we'd be so kind"
So I started to leave, with the Pokeball in my hand, when suddenly...
Cal: HAAHAAHOOHOOHEEHEE
I can't walk five steps without being harassed, can I.
I tune out Oak's Angrish riddled rant and focus on Cal, Who has sent out his Pokemon, A Squirtle with an eyepatch and the name of "Colonel Principal". Huh, what an odd name. Not wasting any time, I release my Charmander...
Scudworth: <I AM SCUDWORTH! EX-SCHOOL PRINCIPAL TURNED BODYGUARD EXTRODINARE!>
This was my starter. This insane, and miraculously talking, Charmander. It appears to me that the divine like to watch me suffer.
Scudworth: *Le Gasp* <Colonel Principal! My long-standing rival & counterpart! We meet. again'!>
Colonel Principal: -Think Kentucky Accent- <I say Scudworth! I reckon it's time for owah anuual wagah>
God, this Squirtle is cocky... Wait, HOW ARE THEY TALKING!?
Colonel Principal: -Think Kentucky Accent- <Now, I'm willin' tah bet that your puny claws can't even cause a single scratch on mah shell>
Scudworth: <WHAT! MY CLAW VILL LITTER YOU HIDE WITH SO MANY SCRATCHES THAT YOU'll BE SORE FHOR A VEEK!>
Colonel Principal: -Scoffing- <Now, Whut'll y'all be willin' to wagah? Last year if yah recall, I won yer first born child!>
Scudworth: <You keep Brian out of this! No, let's up zhe ante! Loser has to do the Winner's laundry. FHOR A MONTH>
Colonel Principal: *Le Gasp* <All right Scudworth! you've got yerself a deal~>
Scudworth: <By the way, how is Brian?>
Colonel Principal: -Put's a spoon of mince in his mouth- <Delicious.>
Cal vs Rachel
ScratchscratchscratchscratchWIN!
Cal: <:(
Scudworth: -Dumping a pile of putrid laundry next to Cl. Principal- <I exzpect this done tomorrow, old friend. Ooooh is victory ever so SWEET>
After cal belligerently pays me his victory cash (His week's poket money), Oak threw a vial of corrosive acids at our heads. Thankfully, he missed and hit the bookshelf (and Scudworth's dirty laundry pile) instead.
We both quickly recalled our Pokemon and RAN THE FUCK OUT OF THERE, HOLY HELL.
Scudworth: MY LAUNDRY! D:>
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