Well, Live Bloginations are locked, IJBM is going to be deleted, so, this is the only place where this will be safe.
Let's start this self deprecating MST by talking about the author. Me. Now, I am very creative, I have many ideas for stories in my head. I read many things online to help me not make a mess of a story. Now, let us move back, I was around eight years old when I wrote the story. If I could time-travel, I would punch myself.
This story is bland, sappy, and all around reeks of Writing by the Seat of Your Pants in a bad way.
I must also note that this MST is special, since I cannot access the account I used to write this abomination, this is all from memory.
So here goes.
We start with the birth of the main character, Jayde. She's a Mary Sue, I don't care what the litmus test says, she is, dammit! We see that she has pitch-black skin that is always referred to as pitch-black, in a flimsy attempt for the author to not sound racist by saying that "blacks" are despised.
She also has glowing red eyes, and I mean, her entire eye is red, not just the pupil. She also had purple hair, too. And seeing that neither of her parents are dark in color, this has Unfortunate Implications. This is explained, though. Shadows need to be born by humans in order to have their traits, like, a shadow born from a dog would be a dog with lasers.
World building aside, we see that she wore red velvet tunics and boots, since, you know, that makes total sense that she would wear old-style medieval clothing. It can't even get the stupid justification like, "Shadows are geared to wear tunics" since her uncle (who is also a shadow) wears military attire!
Anyway, Jayde's last name is Diamond. Get it? Jayde Diamond? Her mom liked the pun, so I'll be sure that their last name isn't Diamond in my planned remake so that horrible pun won't exist. It also says that Jayde's favorite food is hot dogs, like we even care.
Okay, so she's dropped off at school on her first day, and we see a bully come to do what he does best, bully. Yes, the one-dimensional bully who vanishes after this stupid A Minor Kidroduction. Jayde burns him but doesn't know how she did it and faints afterwards. She wakes up and is sent to her classroom, with 1-DB (One-Dimensional Bully) glaring at her.
I think the bully had a name, but who the fuck cares. He vanishes, never to be seen again after the following fight scene. The fight is shown with Jayde showing off her ability to seep through the ground, which apparently doesn't make her faint. Then the bully is sent to detention and Jayde is sent to the principal's office. He then tells her to turn around and smacks her with a baseball bat, cackling as he drags her unconscious body away.
....
Pedobear?
And Chapter End.
I remember making each chapter the same length, no matter how much text I had to put in or take out, so that might explain the awfulness of this story.
Ciao for now.
