Live Blogs Let's Play Kingdom Hearts: 9 Years Too Late

MousaThe142011-06-04 19:37:12

My friend is letting me borrow is PS 2 so I can play Kingdom Hearts. I am tired after all these years missing out. I am always late and miss out on everything and I hate having to tune out when everyone but me in my posse is talking about Nobodies, Axel, Roxas, and whatever. I want to be involved.

But how badly do I want it? I tried this once before. The game's pacing sucks. The unskippable cutscene was painful to watch for a third time and so is having to go through this whole beginning part. I mean really, how cheesy and sad sounding can you get? Ominous Latin chanting while you stand on the stained glass images of our useless Disney Princesses? Dark little critters trying to kill you even though they look kind of adorable? A giant monster thing that's a pain to beat even though it isn't hard to fight? And of course the voiceless text that tries to sound all deep in ominous.

And to think after all this long boring stuff is done, I'll have to go through more long and boring stuff (fetch quests, training fights with that Wakka guy form F Inal Fantasy VIII, and cutscenes) that are all mandatory before Sora is subsequently thrust into the Disney world and the real game begins? Am I supposed to be used to painfully long cutscenes by now becuase I haven't played a game with any (Except arguably Tales Of Symphonia but that was fun so I let it slide.). Perhaps I need to be a Square Enix fanboy in order to appreciate the dullness. Well sucks to be you (and me) Squenix, I've ever played a Final Fantasy game in my life, it's what happens when you're born in 1992 and your first console is a friggin Nintendo64 and your first game is Banjo Kazooie(Awesome game, perhaps I should go back and play that instead of this...).

So here I am once again dark room with no rhyme, reason, or even context. I have to choose my destiny or something, which means how I'll be playing the game. Decisions decisions, do I go Tank, Fighter, or Wizard? I pick magic becuase I like ducking behind stuff and firing spells rather than getting into the grit of the action. Which means I sacrifice the power becuase sacrificing the shield is stupid. Why would a Squishy Wizard give up defense? I mean you could be a Magic Knight but you wouldn't last and being a Glass Cannon ain't useful.

Comments

angelistoftenshi Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 20th 2011 at 12:03:36 AM

When you hold a barrel, to drop it without throwing it you have to press O.

Someone didn't pay attention to Wakka in Destiny Islands~

suspiciouscookie Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 20th 2011 at 4:57:55 AM

You expect to find your way out of Monstro? Ever?

Ha ha ha. You poor, foolish soul.

Serenitas Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 20th 2011 at 7:40:39 AM

Oh, Monstro. An endless labyrinth of technicolor whale innards. I know you eventually have to get into Chamber 4, but I wouldn't have any idea how to tell you how to get there, and I've probably played the game at least five times by now. Yay for poor level design?

Hobgoblin Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 20th 2011 at 10:43:05 AM

Muahahahahahahaha~

I told you you'd love Monstro. >:D

Your tears are delicious. <3

rmctagg09 Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 20th 2011 at 11:29:38 AM

Hobgoblin, you're such a troll.

Yeah, Monstro's the suckiest level in the game. Worse thing is that the chambers all look so darn similar.

X2X Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 21st 2011 at 10:54:17 PM

Mousa, I would play you a somber piece on the world's tiniest violin... but that wouldn't help you get out of this hellish level. The questions you need to ask yourself are 1) have you encountered any bosses yet and 2) have you obtained High Jump yet? If not, you have my sympathies.