Live Blogs Nothing is Sacred Anymore! Let's MST A Fanfic: LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY

sanityisoverrated2011-05-03 05:53:44

I used to believe there was a God, once. Yes, one time I believed in all the things that Evangelists like to shove down everyone's throats, except not nearly as extremely. It all changed when I discovered fanfiction.net. Now, I know the truth.

Because no God would allow the abominations known as fan-fiction. For every good one, another 20 horrific ones exist. A good place to start with my undoubtedly won-ton amounts of fanfic MS Tings would be what I call the 'Conor the Gary-Stu' Saga, a series of Sonic the Hedgehog fanfics by one Conor T. Hedgehog, based on the writer's fan-character of the same name. He has crafted FOUR stories so far, with the fourth still being made.

So, what is so wrong with this author's fanfics? Well...

'Blaze moved quickly pointing the gun at Conors head he didn't move or flinch Amys arm trembled and she let go of the gun. Blaze held the gun but stopped and gave it to him .Conor smiled took the guns back and twirled one on his finger spinning and flicking it (Like Ocelot from MGS3) he pointed it at his head and shouted BANG! He pulled the trigger and the gun fired killing himself he fell over Blaze stared on in disbelief and Amy covered her eyes. All of a sudden he winced then his head moved he jumped up and the bullet fell out of the hole in which he was shot he cracked his neck and said "Now wasn't that fun"'

If you can read that AND understand it without re-reading once, I salute you. Also, one of the few times he uses quotation marks in the entire story, and possibly the sequels (oh yes, when I get to them, I will be commenting on them whilst reading them for the first time. Lord, help me).

Oh, and, you may read the story alongside me: Click at your own risk.

Comments

slowzombie Since: Dec, 1969

May 5th 2011 at 4:08:19 AM

Real class move, there author, having one chapter with LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENING and then dropping a metric ton of exposition on us in the next. Now, I'm not very familiar with the Sonic universe as such, I watched Sat AM back when it aired, but that's about it, but jeez, this guy just doesn't let up on the Stu. Well, to be fair, he's got one flaw at least, which is to say that he's apparently quite dense. Oh, and he's probably got anger issues, but that's a "flaw" so common in poorly written meatheads that I'm going out on a limb and say it doesn't count.

sanityisoverrated Since: Dec, 1969

May 5th 2011 at 4:49:11 AM

Slowzombie, you never cease to comment, and I like that - lets me know I'm getting viewed since there's no view count that I can see. This guy is pretty dense, yes, but it could be worse...then again, there's so much more to come from this guy! So it could actually become worse over time!

sanityisoverrated Since: Dec, 1969

May 5th 2011 at 4:54:58 AM

Also, apologies for this installment, I was very, very annoyed by these chapters. Maybe I'm more of a fan-boy then I thought...I certainly seem to know more than this guy, at least!

slowzombie Since: Dec, 1969

May 5th 2011 at 6:57:12 PM

What can I say? I feel solidarity towards anyone who decide to subject themselves to awful fanfics :P Also, it's a tricky art, but finding that point where you're annoyed enough to be snarky, but not so much as to loose your cool except when things get REALLY insane is a pretty good idea when dealing with things you know is going to suck.

EndarkCuli Since: Dec, 1969

May 5th 2011 at 8:42:33 PM

Hang on a second. If Connor has some kind of issue with his watch, why isn't he wearing a long-sleeved shirt under his jacket? I mean, assuming that this is a Clingy Mac Guffin of some sort and he can't merely take it off, and since he's probably aware that he may have to take his jacket off in a restaurant, you'd think he'd put more effort into covering the thing.

...Yes, I'm aware that what I just stated is only a yocto-sized problem in a zetta-sized mess. I guess I'm just too overloaded to say much else right now. Best of luck, don't blow your brains out, et cetera.