History WhatAnIdiot / SouthPark

* In "Ike's Wee Wee" Mr. Mackey gives his famous "DrugsAreBad" speech, which ends with him ordering the kids to pass around a small sample of marijuana to show them what it smells like so they can presumably avoid it or tell on someone who's using it.\\

* In "Are You There God, It's Me Jesus", Stan is being mocked for not hitting puberty so soon already, as he is tricked by his friends into thinking all children should have periods as Kenny and Cartman had "theirs" from a stomach infection.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' For Garrison to admit what he said was wrong and ask for their forgiveness.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' For Kyle to just spill the beans and tell her that his father was making Ike troll others.\\

* "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson": Randy is on the game show "Wheel Of Fortune" and makes it to the bonus round. The word that he is supposed to solve looks suspiciously like the n-word since the category is People Who Annoy You and the puzzle board reads N_GGERS.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Randy to give up and realize that winning money isn't worth destroying his reputation on national TV. \\
'''Or:''' Randy to realize that such an incredibly offensive word would ''not'' be the answer to the puzzle and try something else.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' Randy to give up and realize that winning money isn't worth destroying his reputation on national TV. Or for Randy to realize that such an incredibly offensive word would ''not'' be the answer to the puzzle and try something else.\\

* In "Poor and Stupid" Cartman reveals he dreams of becoming a NASCAR driver when he grows up, but he also believes only poor and [[InsaneTrollLogic stupid people like NASCAR, because Kenny likes it]]. Because of this, Cartman decides [[InsaneTrollLogic to make himself poor and stupid in order to become a driver]]. After many attempts, Cartman drinks a feminine hygiene product named Vagisil, because one of the possible side effects is short-term memory loss. He then steals the car of a NASCAR driver and drives at a race, resulting in a car crash that killed 11 people. After this Cartman really becomes a NASCAR driver who sponsors Vagisil and sinks down the reputation of NASCAR, by making it look like only poor and stupid people are into it. Kenny, being a huge NASCAR fan, is understandably furious.\\

* At the end of "My Future Self n' Me" Cartman is visited by his his slim handsome future self who tells him this is the day his life was turned around and he grows up to be successful after he considers turning his life around.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Being smart enough to start a time travel company he wouldn't risk changing his great future and know his past self wouldn't even go back to tell him anything.\\
'''Instead:''' He does exactly what was said above and given the events of the episode Cartman doesn't listen to him and refuses to do all the things he considered doing and Cartman's future self turns into an ugly overweight mechanic ruining [[AllForNothing everything he's worked for]].

'''You'd Expect:''' Randy to give up and realize that winning money isn't worth destroying his reputation on national TV. Or for Randy to realize that such a incredibly offensive word would ''not'' be the answer to the puzzle and try something else.\\

'''Instead:''' '''''[[DumbCrooks They openly masturbate to prepubescent girls on live television!]]''''' and are eventually arrested by the police.

'''You'd Expect:''' They'd tell him the full story, in particular the part about Job being rewarded for his faith with even more in the way of possessions, family and health.\\

** '''Worse:''' The officers look around and see pictures of women with their pictures cut out.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' For Kyle to talk to his parents away from Ike and inform them of what's happening.\\

* "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow": Stan and Cartman are playing inside a boat from a lake. According to Cartman said boat belongs to his uncle Roy. Cartman asks Stan to actually drive the boat and gives him the keys, which were in the glove box. At first Stan refuses but then Cartman assures him he will take all the blame if something goes wrong.\\

'''Instead:''' He accepts. After he starts driving the boat goes out of control and hits a beavers dam. Cartman then admits he will not really take the blame and he doesn't even have an uncle Roy, and that he just knew things about that boat. The destruction of the beaver dam results in massive hysteria in the town. To be fair, most South Park residents are morons and they overreacted big time by believing the apocalypse is comming, but it was still stupid on Stan's part.

* In the episode "Red Man's Greed", the town is bought out by a Native American casino. They boys come up with the idea for the adults to pool their money together and win a round of roulette to buy the town back. They miraculously win the money, and then some.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' For Stan to either ask his parents or medical advice about puberty, specifically periods.\\

'''You'd then Expect:''' For Stan to get embarrassed or put on a bigger shirt cause now everyone is treating him like a girl.\\
'''Instead:''' He just keeps assuming it's natural puberty. [[DownerEnding And the episode ends with Stan keeping boobs on his chest]].\\

'''Instead:''' Cartman throws a complete tantrum over not getting the ipad he wants, accuses Liane of "fucking him over" and ''pulls down his pants telling her to go ahead fuck him in the Best Buy with everyone there to watch''. Offscreen, the tantrum continues for a while off screen, apparently even having Cartman [[CryingWolf telling a police officer that his mother is trying to "fuck" him]]. So, [[SarcasmMode big shock]], Cartman doesn't get an ipad. It's only ''then'' that Cartman realizes the Toshiba Handibook is better than no [=iPad=] at all and attempts to pull the teary apologetic child ploy to manipulate his mom into relenting. But Liane knows damn well he's being completely insincere and stands her ground. She even points out that Cartman was ''actually'' sorry for his actions, he would accept his punishment gracefully.

* In "Major Boobage", Kenny has been "cheesing" (taking cat urine as part of a drug craze) and his friends came to comfort him. Kyle [[spoiler: foolishly takes one of the cats home]] and his mother Sheila finds it in his dresser drawer while putting away laundry, leading to his parents having a talk about this.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Kyle's parents let him explain the whole situation and mention Kenny and blah blah blah.\\

'''You'd Expect''': For Cartman to realize that he has to do what his future self does, given that he just called himself on the phone from the future multiple times just a few minutes ago.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' For Randy to give up and realize that winning money isn't worth destroying his reputation on national TV. Or for Randy to realize that such a incredibly offensive word would ''not'' be the answer to the puzzle and try something else.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' Cartman to realize that not owning an ipad at all will make him look worse than owning a cheaper one, stop being a stubborn asshole, and just live with the Toshiba Handibook. If he's really concerned that people will judge him for owning an ipad not from Apple, he can just make the Handibook ''look'' like one while he's in Public. Shouldn't be so hard given how resourceful Cartman can be when he's determined.\\

'''The Result:''' ''Deadliest Catch'' hogs all the ratings, ''Whale Wars'' once again becomes a show where nothing actually happens, and more cetaceans likely die at the Japanese's hands – all because of [[{{Hypocrite}} Stan not getting off his ass and doing something]]. (Granted, the whales themselves eventually come along and get rid of the ''DC'' crew for them, but by then it ends up being too little too late.)

* In general, Cartman makes up outlandish lies all the time, such as being psychic and Kyle doing 9/11\\
'''You'd Expect:''' They'd stop listening to him after a while.\\
'''Instead:''' They continue to believe every lie he tells week after week except for [[TheSmartGuy Kyle]] and sometimes some other people too.

'''The Result:''' ''Deadliest Catch'' hogs all the ratings, more cetaceans likely die, and ''Whale Wars'' once again becomes a show where nothing actually happens – all because of [[{{Hypocrite}} Stan not getting off his ass and doing something]]. (Granted, the whales themselves eventually come along and get rid of the ''DC'' crew for them, but by then it ends up being too little too late.)

'''You'd Expect:''' Stan – a ''literal'' Wildlife Warrior with ''an entire arsenal of weapons'' at his disposal; no time or tolerance for any bullshit; not a care in the world about TV show ratings; ''zero'' qualms about blowing up entire Japanese whaling vessels, stranding and likely '''''killing''''' countless people in the process; ''and'' who had spent the better part of the episode insisting that people get off their asses and ''do'' something about the senseless slaughter of whales and dolphins – to order the use of force against the ''Deadliest Catch'' crew, either by raiding their boat and having them arrested for their insubordination and insolence, or by simply blowing them to pieces.\\

'''Admittedly:''' Kenny knows he's immortal and that he will come back to life if he dies, but as he himself once said "it fucking hurts", so he could've avoided a lot of pain.

'''Instead:''' Kenny has the [[SarcasmMode bright idea]] to go to one of Cartman's races and jump on his car while he's driving. Cartman furiously hits the brake, resulting in Kenny being launched and almost dying ([[TheyKilledKennyAgain again]]), even more death and destruction. Luckily, Cartman does end up losing, thanks to Jeff Hamill's (the CEO of Vagisil) wife Patty having enough of her husband's insults and entering the race and winning and Kenny got out unscathed somehow.\\

'''You'd Expect''': Kenny would inform Stan and Kyle about this and ask them for help. [[TeamDad Stan]] [[KnightInSourArmor being]] [[TheSocialExpert Stan]] and [[TheSmartGuy Kyle]] [[NiceGuy being]] [[HotBlooded Kyle]], they would be more than willing to put Cartman in his place and all three of them would have higher chances at success as a team. Not to mention that Stan and '''especially''' [[ArchEnemy Kyle]] already [[ThePowerOfHate hate]] Cartman.\\
'''Instead:''' Kenny has the [[SarcasmMode bright idea]] to go to one of Cartman's races and jump on his car while he's driving. Cartman furiously hits the break, resulting in Kenny being launched and almost dying ([[TheyKilledKennyAgain again]]), even more death and destruction. Luckily, Cartman does end up losing, thanks to Jeff Hamill's (the CEO of Vagisil) wife Patty having enough of her husband's insults and entering the race and winning and Kenny got out unscathed somehow.\\

'''Instead''': [[AesopAmnesia Cartman thinks it's Kyle and tells his future self]] [[CatchPhrase to suck his balls]], [[StatusQuoIsGod hangs up the phone]] and [[HereWeGoAgain goes to freeze himself all over again]].

'''Instead:''' She breaks up with Kyle, accusing him of manipulating her, when he in fact was nothing but kind towards her, then she gets back with Cartman. His abuse and manipulation continue, Heidi [[FatGirl gets fat and gets some pimples]] and also becomes meaner to the point of turning into a DistaffCounterpart of Cartman.

'''Instead:''' He signs it without even looking at it. Of course, instead of letting them go and separating them, the contract actually says the signer gives consent [[AndIMustScream to let Apple keep them this way for the rest of their lives]].\\

'''You'd Expect''': The employees to make a special exception and co-operate with the crooks.\\

'''Furthermore''': You'd expect the employees to have installed a type of lock that ''did'' exist in 1864, if not for the sake of being CrazyPrepared, than for the sake of not having anachronisms in their village. But they didn't and they paid dearly for it.
* In "Dead Celebrities", while on the subject of pedophiles, the two male judges on ''Series/ToddlersAndTiaras'' are also pedophiles.\\

'''Instead:''' '''''[[DumbCrooks They openly masturbate to prepubescent girls on live television!]]''''' and are arrested on the spot.

Gee, who’d have thought that the people of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' can plumb the depths of stupidity like the rest of us?

'''As A Result:''' He unknowingly gets matched up with Cartman, and before he can get away,[[FromBadToWorse FBI agents come in to arrest him]] [[MistakenForPedophile understandably thinking he was intentionally trying to molest a child.]] While he is eventually acquitted, the arrest is the last straw among other grievances, and he loses his job.