History WhatAnIdiot / HarryPotter

** Near the end of the book, Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge is told that [[BigBad Lord Voldemort]] has regained his power. The evidence to support this includes the news coming from [[BigGood Albus Dumbledore]], who isn't known for making stuff this serious up, and two testimonies. One of these is from a Death Eater who admits to having been in contact with Voldemort and working to ensure his return, and the other's from Harry Potter, who claims to have seen firsthand the ceremony that restored Voldemort to full power. As well as this, Professor Snape shows him a very clear Dark Mark on his wrist. The last time it was easily visible was during Voldemort's reign of terror.\\

'''You'd Expect:''' They become Secret Keepers themselves, or at least have the Keeper hidden under the same Charm and become Keepers for them. Conveniently, there was another family in almost the same situation as they were who'd be perfect for such position.\\

'''Instead:''' In gross violation of the [[EvilOverlordListCellblockB Evil Overlord List #222]] they make another person the Keeper, and it fails. Granted, that person betrays them, but even without that their plan was doomed to failure.

'''You'd Expect:''' They would first try side-along apparating to a short distance away from the tent and the bad guys. They've got the hang of it by now, and they've used it to get out of a number of similar situations. For bonus points, they could then sneak up on the bad guys, stun them and leave.\\
'''Instead:''' Hermione uses a spell to disfigure Harry's face, to prevent the bad guys from identifying him as such. It works for a while, but the heroes could have easily avoided that danger if they'd just got out of there in the first place.

* Voldemort finds out that his wand and Harry's have identical cores, causing them to malfunction when used against each other.

'''You'd expect:''' Knowing full well that in the wizard world even the most innocuous tackle can be a magical artifact of unknown power, they would strip their prisoners of ''all'' possessions, down to the clothes.\\
'''Instead:''' They content themselves with taking away heroes' wands. Naturally heroes have some spare artifacts that help them escape.

* Voldemort realises that Harry has gone [[SoulJar Horcrux]] hunting and checks several vaults, finding them all ransacked.\\
'''You'd expect:''' Voldemort would keep his snake Nagini, who's also a Horcrux, by his side at all times, and preferably under magical protection.\\
'''Instead:''' While he does both these things, he [[TemptingFate removes the protection on Nagini when he thinks he's won]]. The result is Nagini dies, and Voldemort loses his immortality.
* Then there's Voldemort's set of six magical {{MacGuffin}}s keeping him immortal.\\
'''You'd Think:''' He'd make them impossible to discover either by using nondescript objects that wouldn't stand out to someone or by hiding them in places only ''he'' knows about, that are unconnected to him in his history.\\
'''Instead:''' He uses rare and impressive artifacts and hides them in places connected personally to him, most notably, [[spoiler: at Hogwarts, where most of his enemies have been for the past 6 books]]. It is even [[LampshadeHanging recognized in canon]] that he only did this because he has such a MASSIVE EGO that he'd never use something mundane as a Horcrux. Admittedly though, he did do his best to keep information about them and his past hidden, but against Dumbledore it just wasn't enough.
* In regards to Horcruxes, Voldemort gives one to Lucius Malfoy, but since he's incapable of trusting anyone, he doesn't tell Lucius what it is, just that it's a powerful magical artifact. \\
'''You'd Think:''' He would tell Lucius that he values the diary's safety more than he does Lucius', and that if Lucius does anything without Voldemort's express orders, death itself will not be enough to save Lucius from very slow, very painful retribution. Hell, Voldy could suggest that the diary has powerful wards on it that will be activated if Lucius uses it without permission, so that Lucius would hesitate to use it in a cavalier fashion even if he was 100% convinced Voldy was dead. \\
'''Instead:''' Voldy does none of this, apparently confident that Lucius would never take any initiative whatsoever regarding Voldy's stuff. So Lucius decides to use the diary to ''block the passage of a minor law'', and gets a portion of his master's soul destroyed.
* In ''Order of the Phoenix'', Voldemort lures Harry to the Ministry of Magic and sends his goons there to retrieve the important Prophecy that only Harry can touch.\\
'''You'd expect:''' Lucius Malfoy, who's in charge of the operation, would only take those Death Eaters who, like him, had weaseled their way out of Azkaban and into the Ministry ranks, and thus would have a legitimate excuse to be there. When the kids arrive, ambush them in the atrium, disarm and take them hostage therefore ensuring Harry's cooperation. Walk him to the storage room and make him take the Prophecy.\\
'''Instead:''' He a) takes the recent escapees from Azkaban with him, so when the Cavalry arrives, his true allegiances are exposed, and b) has them wait for the kids inside the storage room, thus wasting time, and only reveal themselves after Harry takes the Prophecy ball, and they can no longer shoot him with spells for the fear of breaking the ball, though to be fair it has been suggested that only the person or people the prophecy is about will be able to grab the prophecy. The whole, taking a bunch of convicts however...

* Related to the above the Wizard World has Time Turners, devices which can be used to actually ''travel back in time''. Admittedly they are limited in how far back they can go but even a short distance would allow someone to get access to a huge amount of secret information or, if they were careful, actually interfere in the past.\\
'''You'd Expect''': The devices to be kept under the strictest guard possible, for knowledge of them to be suppressed as much as possible and for them to only be used at times of the greatest need.\\
'''Instead''': One was given to a child so she could [[MundaneUtility attend more classes]] and we don't see much evidence that this was any kind of monumental decision on the part of the faculty. While Hermione is more competent than most adults we see they still ran a horrible risk the moment they made it available to her, if only because someone might have realized she had one and stolen it.
* Related to the above, said Time Turners are kept on an open shelf, without ''any'' locks, guards or alarms and in a room accessable to a bunch of kids. The power to rewrite the timeline is there for the taking.\\
'''You'd Expect''': That of the numerous people who infiltrated the Ministery that night, ''someone'', be it heroes or villains, would realise the tremendous potential and help themselves to a Turner or two.\\
'''Instead''': They are completely ignored.
* In Deathly Hallows the bad guys at one point capture the heroes.\\
'''You'd expect:''' Knowing full well that in the wizard world even the most innocuous tackle can be a magical artifact of unknown power, they would strip their prisoners of ''all'' possessions, down to the clothes.\\
'''Instead:''' They content themselves with taking away heroes' wands. Naturally heroes have some spare artifacts that help them escape.

* In the backstory Harry's parents are warned that they've been targeted by the BigBad and need to hide. They choose a spell that perfectly conceals one's domain, as long as a chosen person (the Secret Keeper), well, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin keeps the secret]].\\
'''You'd Expect:''' They become Secret Keepers themselves, or at least have the Keeper hidden under the same Charm and become Keepers for them. Conveniently, there was another family in almost the same situation as they were who'd be perfect for such position.\\
'''Instead:''' In gross violation of the [[EvilOverlordListCellblockB Evil Overlord List #222]] they make another person the Keeper, and it fails. Granted, that person betrays them, but even without that their plan was doomed to failure.
* In the first book Dumbledore is aware that someone is attempting to steal the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone, that they were good enough to make a serious attempt to steal it from Gringott's, and there's a strong possibility that it involves Voldemort.\\
'''You'd Expect''': Him to recruit former members of the Order to protect it, to surround it with spells that only let the right person past them and to keep its location a secret from everyone outside of that very small group of people.\\
'''Instead''': He relies on less than competent people like Hagrid to supply guards and didn't quiz Hagrid on potential problems for those guards. Worst of all, his security used obstacles that were really less security and more puzzles. Admittedly they were tricky but ''first year students'' were able to get past the same puzzles that were intended to stop a dark wizard controlled by ''Voldemort''. If not for the last spell cast on the mirror you would have to wonder if Dumbledore was unconsciously trying to let Voldemort return to life.
* From ''Order of the Phoenix'':
** Professor Umbridge gets Snape to give her some truth potion, which she plans to use to interrogate Harry on the location of two of his most important people, both of whom are fugitives. Snape tells Umbridge that she only needs to use three drops of the stuff for it to work.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Umbridge to remember this when the time comes to do the deed.\\
'''Instead:''' She uses up the whole bottle. Worse, it's Snape's last sample of that potion, so that the next time she needs it, naturally there's not a drop in the castle.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Umbridge, who has access to the resources of all the goddamn Ministery of Magic, would easily be able to procure the potion otherwise. Whether or not the use of the potion is admissable in court, there's no way in hell the Aurors wouldn't use it in their investigations.\\
'''Instead:''' She immediately resorts to using Unforgivable spells. In front of tons of witnesses.
** Harry gets given a package from his godfather, who implies that Harry can use it to keep in contact with him while he's at Hogwarts.\\

* In GobletOfFire Harry has to find [[ItMakesSenseInContext a way to defeat a dragon]]. However, none of the books in the library have any useful information. Finally he manages to contact his godfather Sirius, who says that he knows a suitable spell, but because it's [[PoorCommunicationKills Sirius]], he doesn't get to actually naming the spell before they are interrupted.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' That Harry would write a letter to Sirius and ask for the name of the spell.\\
'''Instead:''' For some reason he doesn't.

'''You'd Also Expect:''' That Sirius would just tell him it's a walkie-talkie. There was absolutely no reason for him to be secretive about it, and his explanation for why Harry shouldn't open it right then being that "Molly wouldn't approve." makes no goddamn sense.\\
'''You'd Expect Further:''' That the Order in general would take care of providing Harry with means of emergency communication, not to mention extraction. They ''know'' that the boy is a trouble magnet, and that the enemy is after his head.\\

* Following the above, Harry was then aware that the book contained some very dangerous curses without sufficient explanations or warnings.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' That he would destroy the book or surrender it to the teachers. It's not like he's stolen it or something - he'd hardly got into any more troubles than he already was in, and giving the book in would've likely count in his favor and could probably even aleviate his sentence.\\
'''Instead:''' He hides it in a place where ''everyone'' in the school was hiding their stuff, meaning that the place was accessable to many other students, even if accidentally. Thankfully, this act of idiocy was, as usual, rectified by one of the villains, who unwittingly burned the book, before some hapeless chap could come across it.

'''Instead:''' He a) takes the recent escapees from Azkaban with him, so when the Cavalry arrives, his true allegiances are exposed, and b) has them wait for the kids inside the storage room, thus wasting time, and only reveal themselves after Harry takes the Prophecy ball, and they can no longer shoot him with spells for the fear of breaking the ball.

->--'''[[TheOnlySaneMan Hermione Granger]]''', ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone''

->--'''[[TheSmartGuy Hermione Granger]]''', ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone''

'''You'd Also Expect:''' That Sirius would just tell him it's a walkie-talkie. There was absolutely no reason for him to be secretive about it, and his explanation for why Harry shouldn't open it right then is that "Molly wouldn't approve." makes no goddamn sense.\\

'''Instead:''' Nobody gives a damn, except Sirius, and he has such a... peculiar way of doing things, that of course it leads to a disaster.

'''Instead:''' He hides it in a place where ''everyone'' in the school was hiding their stuff, meaning that the place was accessable to many other students, even if accidentally. Thankfully, this act of idiocy was, as usual, rectified by one of the villains, who unwittingly burned the book, before some hapeless chap could come across it.

'''Result:''' Whenever he wants to talk to his godfather, he has to break into Umbridge's office.

'''Instead:''' She uses up the whole bottle. Worse, it's Snape's last sample of that potion, so that the next time she needs it, naturally there's not a drop in the castle.
'''You'd Expect:''' Umbridge, who has access to the resources of all the goddamn Ministery of Magic, would easily be able to procure the potion otherwise. Whether or not the use of the potion is admissable in court, there's no way in hell the Aurors wouldn't use it in their investigations.

'''You'd Also Expect:''' That Sirius would just tell him it's a walkie-talkie. There was absolutely no reason for him to be secretive about it, and his explanation for why Harry shouldn't open it right then is that "Molly wouldn't approve." makes no goddamn sense.
'''You'd Expect Further:''' That the Order in general would take care of providing Harry with means of emergency communication, not to mention extraction. They ''know'' that the boy is a trouble magnet, and that the enemy is after his head.
'''Instead:''' Nobody gives a damn, except Sirius, and he has such a.. peculiar way of doing things, that of course it leads to a disaster.

* Following the above, Harry was then aware that the book contained some very dangerous curses without sufficient explanations or warnings.
'''You'd Expect:''' That he would destroy the book or surrender it to the teachers. It's not like he's stollen it or something - he'd hardly got into any more troubles than he already was in, and giving the book in would've likely count in his favor and could probably even aleviate his sentence.

'''Instead:''' They either build or use a shack at the outskirts of the nearby village, make an underground tunnel leading there from the ''school grounds'' and plant a belligerent tree above the entrance to guard it, then bring the kid there without any concealment. It works, in that it keeps Lupin inside, but it still seems overly-complicated and contrived.\\

* Related to the above, said Time Turners are kept on an open shelf, without ''any'' locks, guards or alarms and in a room accessable to a bunch of kids. The power to rewrite the timeline is there for the taking.
'''You'd Expect''': That of the numerous people who infiltrated the Ministery that night, ''someone'', be it heroes or villains, would realise the tremendous potential and help themselves to a Turner or two.

'''Instead:''' He continued to brush her off when she repeatedly warned him about the fishiness of the so-called Half-Blood Prince, deciding that an easy Potions grade was worth more to him than the concerns of one of his closest friends. As a result, he ended up nearly killing a fellow student and landing himself in detention for the remainder of the year, and was unable to play Quidditch as a result.

*** [[FridgeBrilliance Maybe]] the items have to have some sort of major emotional connection to the caster for the Lich ritual to work, and kept near the caster or a location/person tied to his past to maintain potency? Even [[spoiler: Harry]] is tied intimately to one of the guy's long-running feuds, so it neatly explains both why [[spoiler: he]] is an inadvertent Horcrux, why the other phylacteries are heavily magically shielded in obvious places rather than magically obscured in hidden ones, and why his minions never took the obvious and easy step of getting the heroes expelled ([[spoiler: Harry needed to be near Hogwarts, the site of most of Riddle's emotional trauma through the years, for the revival spell to maintain potency]]).

'''Instead''': One was given to a child so she could [[MundaneUtility attend more classes]] and we don't see much evidence that this was any kind of monumental decision on the part of the faculty. While Hermione is more competent than most adults we see they still ran a horrible risk the moment they made it available to her, if only because someone might have realized she had one and stolen it.

'''Instead:''' He uses rare and impressive artifacts and hides them in places connected personally to him, most notably, [[spoiler: at Hogwarts, where most of his enemies have been for the past 6 books]]. It is even [[LampshadeHanging recognized in canon]] that he only did this because he has such a MASSIVE EGO that he'd never use something mundane as a Horcrux.

'''Instead''': He publicly stated that everyone in the school had to stay away from a certain room (which obviously made people wonder what was in it). Instead of aurors who were veterans of fighting Voldemort he relied on less than competent people like Hagrid to supply guards and didn't quiz Hagrid on potential problems for those guards. Worst of all, his security used obstacles that were really less security and more puzzles. Admittedly they were tricky but ''first year students'' were able to get past the same puzzles that were intended to stop a dark wizard controlled by ''Voldemort''. If not for the last spell cast on the mirror you would have to wonder if Dumbledore was unconsciously trying to let Voldemort return to life.

*** Furthermore, how can the wizard world's medical experts be able to cure people who were near death to the point that they can walk out in less than a day but need a little more than a month to fix a Polyjuice Potion mutation? It can't be ''that'' hard to fix if you can bring people back from near death.

* Voldemort realises that Harry has gone [[SoulJar Horcrux]] hunting and checks several vaults, finding them all ransacked. Voldemort has every reason to believe that Harry may try to go to Hogwarts next, which is confirmed by the Caterwauling Charm and a call from his Death Eaters.\\
'''You'd expect:''' Voldemort would station his most competent and trustworthy lieutenants (yes, I'm getting at Bellatrix) in the Room of Requirement, keep his snake Nagini by his side at all times, and use his current Death Eater faculty stationed at Hogwarts to silence the school while Voldemort goes after Harry.\\
'''Instead:''' He launches a full-scale six or seven-hour assault on Hogwarts with unnecessary reinforcements; stations three barely of-age proteges in the Room of Requirement, all of whom are sons of treacherous Death Eaters and one of whom has a record of successfully casting Fiendfyre but being unable to control it, putting his diadem Horcrux at unnecessary risk; and, while he keeps Nagini with him at all times, puts her in danger by using her to murder Snape, later trying the same thing on Neville which gets the snake killed. It's even funnier when you consider that not only did he keep the snake with him at all times, he acknowledged the need for safety by putting it in a magical bubble shield...which he seems okay with letting the snake out of to attack dangerous wizards.

'''Instead:''' They either build or use a shack at the outskirts of the nearby village, make an underground tunnel leading there from the ''school grounds'' and plant a belligerent tree above the entrance to guard it, then bring Lupin there without any concealment. It works, in that it keeps Lupin inside, but it still seems overly-complicated and contrived.\\
'''You'd Also Expect:''' Whoever's in charge of Lupin not to let him know how to get past the tree.\\