History WebVideo / Lindybeige

** Most animals have breasts that are hardly there before pregnancy, grow while they are actually nursing a baby, and shrink away again after the baby is weaned. This is because they do not need breasts when they are not actually using them to feed babies, and in fact having breasts or udders makes it more difficult to run from predators. Only human females have breasts both before they even have their first child and after they stop nursing and become fertile again. Humans have better ways of protecting against predators and so this selection pressure is removed, but just because it was possible for this trait to evolve doesn't explain why it did. The fact of the matter is that human breast size is not a matter of function: a non-nursing breast is mostly made of fat, and the actual milk glands are what matters when it comes to feeding a baby. The size of a woman's breasts before her first child indicates nothing about how much milk she will actually produce after she's had a baby, and even if--for the sake of argument--larger breasts could produce more milk, any more than a certain amount would simply go to waste. The fact that breast size is so variable from person to person is another thing that implies they are more decorative than functional: while you might meet a woman who has enormous breasts, you will never meet a healthy woman who has disproportionately ''enormous eyeballs'', because useful organs like eyes and hands have to be proportionate in order to work properly. Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic, like a peacock's tail, and men have learned to find them sexy. However, there are evoutionary reasons that permanently large breasts should ''not'' have been sexy to prehistoric males, which somehow must have been overcome:

** All of which, in Lloyd's point of view, leaves humans with an adaptation that is in many ways less than optimal. Breasts are aesthetically pleasing because we've evolved to appreciate them, but they still aren't functional for child-rearing and actually have quite a few drawbacks, from the usual symptoms of DCupDistress to being a risk for breast cancer. He sums it up by suggesting that breasts are kind of like nuclear missiles; they're a lot of trouble to have, but when everybody else has acquired them, you need nukes of your own just to keep up with the Jonses and it's very difficult to convince everybody to give up their arms.

** Most animals have breasts that are hardly there before pregnancy, grow while they are actually nursing a baby, and shrink away again after the baby is weaned. This is because they do not need breasts when they are not actually using them to feed babies, and in fact having breasts or udders makes it more difficult to run from predators. Only human females have breasts both before they even have their first child and after they stop nursing and become fertile again. Humans have better ways of protecting against predators and so this selection pressure is removed, but just because it was possible for this trait to evolve doesn't explain why it did. The fact of the matter is that human breast size is not a matter of function: a non-nursing breast is mostly made of fat, and the actual milk glands are what matters when it comes to feeding a baby. The size of a woman's breasts before her first child indicates nothing about how much milk she will actually produce after she's had a baby, and even if--for the sake of argument--larger breasts could produce more milk, any more than a certain amount would simply go to waste. The fact that breast size is so variable from person to person is another thing that implies they are more decorative than functional; everybody's eyeballs have to be about the same size for them to work properly, and everybody has hands in proportion to their body, but women's breast size varies ''enormously'', from almost flat to ones so big they cause DCupDistress. Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic, like a peacock's tail, and men have learned to find them sexy. However, there are evoutionary reasons that permanently large breasts should ''not'' be sexy to males, which somehow must have been overcome:

* BuxomIsBetter: Analyzed to hell and back in "[[https://youtu.be/xcrxNBlqrbM Why do women have breasts?]]", in which he tries to hypothesize why this trope came to be in the process of trying to propose a reason why human women have permanent breasts at all:

** In the periods concerned, women were less fertile while they were breastfeeding (this was true of hunter gatherer societies in which people lived hand-to-mouth, but is no longer true in the developed world now that nutrition is so much better), so it stands to reason that men would have found women with breasts *less* attractive than those without them. A woman's breasts should have disappeared after her child was weaned to show men that she was fertile again. So how, then, did this turn-off get changed into a turn-on? Lloyd suspects that permanent breasts are related to something else unique to human women: ''concealed ovulation''. In other primates like chimps, females become fertile at certain times, and their bodies display things like bright pink rumps in order to advertise this fact to all the males. Once she has been impregnated, this sign goes away. Not only do human females show no outward signs to men of when they are most fertile, but the process of ovulation is so secret that even the woman ''herself'' has no idea exactly when it happens! In primate species, males will try to get in a fertile female's good graces by being really nice to her, offerings gifts and favors. If they can't tell exactly when she's fertile, but for all they know she ''could'' be fertile at any given time, they have an incentive to be nice to her all the time instead of just at certain times. Another thing that concealed ovulation allows is for a woman who has a less desirable male partner to invoke MamasBabyPapasMaybe by concieving a child with a male with better genes, and passing it off as her partners' so that he will help her raise it. But if she grows breasts as soon as she becomes pregnant with this illicit child, then it gives the whole game away! So perhaps after concealed ovulation evolved, women then evolved permanent breasts in order to take maximum advantage of concealed ovulation as a strategy for having better offspring.

* ''The Adventures of Stoke Mandeville, Astronaut and Gentleman'', a tongue-in-cheek DeconstructiveParody of {{steampunk}} about Victorian Britains in space. Only three episodes have been released thus far, because Lloyd is working on a nonexistent budget and having to do all of the postproduction work in his spare time.

** In the periods concerned, women were less fertile while they were breastfeeding (this was true of hunter gatherer societies in which people lived hand-to-mouth, but is no longer true in the developed world now that nutrition is so much better), so it stands to reason that men would have found women with breasts *less* attractive than those without them. A woman's breasts should have disappeared after her child was weaned to show men that she was fertile again. So how, then, did this turn-off get changed into a turn-on? Lloyd suspects that permanent breasts are related to something else unique to human women: ''concealed ovulation''. In other primates like chimps, females become fertile at certain times, and their bodies display things like bright pink rumps in order to advertise this fact to all the males. Once she has been impregnated, this sign goes away. Not only do human females show no outward signs to men of when they are most fertile, but the process of ovulation is so secret that even the woman ''herself'' has no idea exactly when it happens! In primate species, males will try to get in a fertile female's good graces by being really nice to her, offerings gifts and favors. If they can't tell exactly when she's fertile, but for all they know she ''could'' be fertile at any given time, they have an incentive to be nice to her all the time instead of just at certain times.
Another thing that concealed ovulation allows is for a woman who has a less desirable male partner to invoke MamasBabyPapasMaybe by concieving a child with a male with better genes, and passing it off as her partners' so that he will help her raise it. But if she grows breasts as soon as she becomes pregnant with this illicit child, then it gives the whole game away! So perhaps after concealed ovulation evolved, women then evolved permanent breasts in order to take maximum advantage of concealed ovulation as a strategy for having better offspring.
** But still, how did this trait spread through the gene pool? Maybe at some point there was a woman with a mutation that caused her breasts to stay enlarged after her first pregnancy, and she was able to take advantage of the fact that humans have tools of persuasion that simpler primates don't: intelligence, charm, [[ThroughHisStomach cooking ability]], etc. This KavorkaWoman would have concieved children who would pass along this trait, and since they were able to use concealed ovulation to their advantage in acquiring good genes, men who had some mutation that caused them to actually find permanent breasts attractive would have children with them and pass this trait along to their sons as well.

* GutturalGrowler: Parodied in his ''Film/{{Ironclad}}'' review series, where he has a narrator announce the title of each video in an exaggeratedly deep, gravelly voice. The implication is that such historical action movies' use of this trope in trailers, etc. is just one example of how they offer more hype than substance, and take themselves way too seriously.

As of June 2016 he has 241,599 subscribers.

Nikolas Lloyd, known online as '''Lindybeige''' (or just Lloyd), is a Website/YouTube personality from the United Kingdom. With experience in filmmaking, history, archaeology, and dance, he makes videos on all these subjects and many more, but his showcase focuses on ancient and medieval warfare and technology, and occasionally addresses other subjects such as politics and evolutionary psychology. He often specifically addresses whether certain tropes used in films, television, and video games are realistic, and tears into inaccurate works with his characteristically sarcastic sense of humor. He also makes videos on wargaming and tabletop gaming, with instructions on how to play these games and to make miniatures and environments to enhance the experience. In 2014 he ran "Operation Crossfire", in which he coordinated a mass game of ''Crossfire'', a WWII wargame, with players from all over the globe.

* ConvenientlyAnOrphan: In a video devoted to the subject, Lloyd points out that most RPG players roll their characters s orphans, even though this amount of parental devastation is unrealistic. He concludes that it's either laziness from players who don't want to flesh out their characters fully, or a kind of wish-fulfillment of players who want to be independent from their parents.

* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible: The target of his rant [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN9iJCZ5Il8 Modern art insults me]], where he describes a visit to a Slovenian castle where they were showing a certain sculptor's work, and despite a program extolling it as being full of meaning, it just looked like a pile of refuse to him. What made him feel insulted was that the work made no effort to be understood. He compares this to when you throw a big fancy costume party and everybody dresses up, and if one guy shows up in jeans and a T-shirt, then it's kind of insulting to the host because he didn't put any effort into making the party a success like everybody else did. What most people appreciate is effort, skill, and an apparent attempt to please, and he thinks that all of these things are missing in a very great amount of modern art. In contrast, he thinks the critical establishment tends to look down upon artists such as hyperrealist sculptor Ron Mueck who puts a huge amout of skill and craftsmanship into his creations, but the public loves him because they see that the artist is making such an effort to show them something extraordinary.

* AcceptableTargets[[invoked]]: Lloyd never passes up a chance to insult the French. He regards them as default enemies in many hypothetical war discussions; in a video on Nelson's Colunmn, he sees defeating them as the pinnacle of human achievement and automatically worthy of a statue, regardless of one's other failings; and in a video on flails he starts to read from a historical French source about the effectiveness of said weapon before stopping and wondering aloud, "why am I not reading this in an outrageous French accent?" before continuing in that vein. In ''Stoke Mandeville'', an exaggeration of Victorian values, the steampunk characters consider Frenchmen their total enemies, killing them is allowed with little comment, and their cuisine is treated as inherently poisonous. However, he does avoid the lazy pitfall of regarding them as cowardly "cheese-eating surrender monkeys", and is careful to point out that the French are good at fighting. In short, he sees them as quirky {{Worthy Opponent}}s.

* TakeThat: Lindy never misses an opportunity to diss the French, though he's mostly being facetious about it.

* {{Crossover}}: WebVideo/{{Skallagrim}} appears on Lloyd's video about the historical usage of salt, complaining that his subject matter is boring and suggesting he talk about more interesting things such as whether it's possible to stab someone with an arrow. Lloyd grows tired of it and zaps Skall to oblivion with a ray gun.

* ''Doctor Who and the Angels of Herräng", made in association with Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, a ''Series/DoctorWho'' parody featuring Lloyd as the titular Doctor facing against Weeping Angels as they attempt to invade the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herr%C3%A4ng_Dance_Camp Herräng Dance Camp]] in order to make off with its women.

* SticksToTheBack: Not exactly this trope, since he doesn't talk about weapons sticking to a characters' back with no apparent means of holding them there, but he does talk about about how scabbards worn on the back as you often see in films and television are not practical at all. You can't get the tip of a long sword to clear the throat of the scabbard before your arm can't extend anymore, and there's no evidence they were used in historical times. In his review of ''Series/TheLastKingdom'' he pauses to play a siren, highlight the offending sword and scabbard in red, and yell, "Back-scabbard alert!"

* AcceptableTargets: Lloyd never passes up a chance to insult the French. He regards them as default enemies in many hypothetical war discussions; in a video on Nelson's Colunmn, he sees defeating them as the pinnacle of human achievement and automatically worthy of a statue, regardless of one's other failings; and in a video on flails he starts to read from a historical French source about the effectiveness of said weapon before stopping and wondering aloud, "why am I not reading this in an outrageous French accent?" before continuing in that vein. In ''Stoke Mandeville'', an exaggeration of Victorian values, the steampunk characters consider Frenchmen their total enemies, killing them is allowed with little comment, and their cuisine is treated as inherently poisonous. However, he does avoid the lazy pitfall of regarding them as cowardly "cheese-eating surrender monkeys", and is careful to point out that the French are good at fighting. In short, he sees them as quirky {{Worthy Opponent}}s.

* ''Doctor Who and the Angels of Herräng", a ''Series/DoctorWho'' parody featuring Lloyd as the titular Doctor facing against Weeping Angels as they attempt to invade the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herr%C3%A4ng_Dance_Camp Herräng Dance Camp]] in order to make off with its women.

Nikolas Lloyd, known online as '''Lindybeige''', is a YouTube personality from the United Kingdom whose show focuses on ancient and medieval warfare and technology, but occasionally addresses other subjects such as politics and evolutionary psychology. He often likes to talk about whether certain tropes used in films, television, and video games are realistic or not, and tears into inaccurate works with his characteristically sarcastic sense of humor. As of June 2016 he has 241,599 subscribers.

[[caption-width-right:350:Lindybeige gives you the scoop.]]

* SticksToTheBack: Not exactly this trope, since he isn't talking about weapons sticking to a characters' back with no apparent means of holding it there, but he talks about how scabbards worn on the back are not at all practical. You can't get the tip of a long sword to clear the throat of the scabbard before your arm gets stuck, and there's no evidence they were used in historical times. In his review of ''Series/TheLastKingdom'' he pauses to play a siren, highlight the offending sword and scabbard in red, and yell, "Back-scabbard alert!"

* SticksToTheBack: Not exactly, but he talks about how scabbards worn on the back are not at all practical, since you can't get the tip of a long sword to clear the throat of the scabbard before your arm gets stuck, and there's no evidence they were used in historical times. In his review of ''Series/TheLastKingdom'' he pauses, highlights the offending weapon in red as a siren rings, and yells "Back-scabbard alert!"

* GutturalGrowler: Parodied in his ''Film/{{Ironclad}}'' review series, where he has a narrator announce the title of each video in an exaggeratedly deep, gravelly voice. The point is to make fun of how such medieval action movies offer more hype than substance, and take themselves way too seriously.

* GutturalGrowler: Parodied in his ''Film/{{Ironclad}}'' review series, where he has a narrator announce the title each section in an exaggeratedly deep, gravelly voice. The point is to make fun of how such medieval action movies offer more hype than substance, and take themselves way too seriously.

* GutturalGrowler: Parodied in his ''Film/{{Ironclad}}'' review series, where he has someone announce the title each section in an exaggeratedly deep, gravelly voice. The point is to make fun of how such medieval action movies offer more hype than substance, and take themselves way too seriously.

-->"If you want to shoot [[TakeThat a frenchman]] who's not very far away, you might want to clock him with a really big heavy stick. So, you'd just use a simple cylinder of wood for an arrow shaft, and thwack him. But if he's a very long way away, you might select one of your specialist 'shooting frenchmen who are a long way away' arrows, which would be perhaps barreled, and it's called a flight arrow: arrows designed to go a very long way away."

* GutturalGrowler: Parodied in his ''Film/{{Ironclad}}'' review, where he has someone announce each section in an exaggerated bass growl.

* TakeThat: Lindy never misses an opportunity to diss the French.

* In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3wIYWG-cz4 Cinquedea - Venice's five-fingered dagger of mild doom]], he opines that the short, broad blade of the cinquedea is not very good for thrusting, and that while it may have some use as a short but sturdy weapon to parry full-sized swords, he suspects its popularity probably had more to do with fashion and its wide blade being a good canvas for decoration.