History Tropers / ButtercupIsTiny

![[hottip:B:iomechanical]][[hottip:u:nit]][[hottip:t:rained for]][[hottip:t:horough]][[hottip:e:xploration,]][[hottip:r:ational]][[hottip:c:alculation, and]][[hottip:u:ltimate]][[hottip:p:eacekeeping/]][[hottip:I:ntelligent]][[hottip:s:ynthetic]][[hottip:T:echnician]][[hottip:i:ntended for]][[hottip:n:octurnal]][[hottip:y:elling]]:

[[hottip:Anime and Manga:CardCaptorSakura, FruitsBasket, OuranHighSchoolHostClub, DeathNote, {{Naruto}}, {{Bleach}}, ShugoChara, {{Uzumaki}}]]|[[hottip:Film:The Wizard of Oz, Quest For Camelot, Beauty and the Beast, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Beaches, Dante's Peak, The Professional, Sweeney Todd, Star Wars et al, The Sword in the Stone, The Little Mermaid, Wristcutters, Ju-On, The Ring, Mulan, The Sound of Music, Dirty Dancing, Oliver and Company, Ever After, The Princess Bride. Just a few I've watched Over and Over and Over and Over]]|[[hottip:Live Action TV:NCIS, Bones, Jericho, Royal Pains, The Office, Monk, Mental, House, Lie to Me, Chuck, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Eureka, Glee, Fringe, Sliders, Dollhouse, Firefly, Weird Science, Dead Like Me, Arrested Development, Law and Order, Law and Order SVU, Law and Order CI, CSI, and pretty much any documentary on History National Geographic, or Discovery. And that's just what I've gotten into within the past couple years.]]|[[hottip:Music:A*Teens, Newsboys, LFO, blink-182, DC Talk, S Club 7, Bowling For Soup, Vienna Teng, Cascada, Flogging Molly, Backstreet Boys, Rhianna, LizPhair, Belinda Carlise, Madonna, {{Jesse McCartney}}, Mandy Moore, Good Charlotte, Linkin Park, System of a Down, Madonna, Amy Grant, Wilson Phillips, Twila Paris, Steven Curtis Chapman, Tatu, B*witched, TaylorSwift, {{Queen}}, MattMaher, The List goes on and on]]|[[hottip:Theater: {{Antigone}}, {{Medea}}, {{Lysistrata}}, OurTown, KissMeKate, {{Wicked}}, AvenueQ, {{Rent}}, SweeneyTodd]]|[[hottip:Webcomics:Ctrl+Alt+Del, {{Cyanide and Happiness}}, GunnerkriggCourt, LeastICouldDo, QuestionableContent, {{Misfile}}, DominicDeegan, SoreThumbs, {{XKCD}}, {{AfterStrife}}, ElGoonishShive, CollegeRoomiesFromHell, {{Tales of MU}}]]|[[hottip:Western Animation:TheSimpsons, Jane and the Dragon, SouthPark]]|[[hottip:Web Original:Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Brotherhood 2.0, FiveAwesomeGirls, NostalgiaCritic, ThereSheIs]]

->-Is a Biochemistry major.

->-Goes by the nicks Buttercrisp, Buttercrispy, Buttercup, [[{{@/Charlatan}} Buttershmup]], and [=BattleScowler=] on #yackfest

->A smile for brightening my day. :D [- --{{Contributors/Anemotaxis}}-]

->-Buttercupistiny contains so much {{moe}} I don't have enough hands to count it on. - {{Fawriel}}

->-Let's face it: you two are the unofficial TVTropes {{Moe}} non-couple. - {{Ironeye}}

* huggly schnuggly buggly boo* -{{Tropers/Charlatan}}

I've moved this over to [[fanonrangersficletdump.tumblr.com a Tumblr account.]]

'''The History of Fractal, Ozbourne, and Buttercup:'''\\
''The following takes place during the period of time between the summer before Buttercup turned 5 and the spring before she turns 8, approximately 15-13 years prior to the current conflict, respectively.''

[[folder:To the Pool!]]
Lana sat at the table embroidery hoop in hand. In and out, in and out, the needle through the aida and jersey and back through again. She was enjoying the calm while she could. The Turner girl reminded Lana of her own grandchildren when they were younger. All but the youngest were through college now. ''Time flies by so quickly.'' Lana mused.\\
“Lana! Lana! Lana! Let's ''GO''!” \\
A small yellow blur stopped at her feet. Lana clicked her tongue and lovingly scolded, “Always in such a rush, my little one. Come now, you know we can't leave right away.”She set down the embroidery and picked up the hairbrush and yellow hair ties from the pile on the table. “First things first.”\\
“I don't like the first things.” the child said, pouting as she turned around. Lana laughed, and said, “Not many do, Eily. Not many do.” She gathered the auburn waves into a ponytail at the top of the girl's head, braided the ponytail, and then piled it into a bun. She exchanged the brush for a bottle of sunscreen, and finished that task without too much hassle. She turned her charge back around to face her. Fair and freckled with big blue eyes, the girl grinned and said, “Now can we go?”\\
“Now we can go.” Lana scooped the embroidery hoop and sunblock into the bag beside her, stood up, and after shutting and locking the door behind them as they left, trailed behind the child.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Ozbourne Meets Someone Small and Not Boring]]
Ozbourne sat on the edge of the lounge chair by the pool finishing covering herself in sunblock again after spending time in the water. It was midway through summer, and she'd been out in the sun regularly, but her skin showed no change in pigmentation. Flipping her damp hair back behind her pale shoulder, she sighed. Allowing the sunblock time to soak in was so boring. She traced the yellow lines that made up the random polygons scattered across the black field of the top of her Tankini, slender fingers across her slim figure. After a bit, she climbed down the ladder, back into the water, and returned to swimming laps.

Lana unlatched the fence, and keyed herself and Eily into the pool area. She took a seat at one of the lounge chairs, and Eily slipped her sandals off and her terry cloth dress over her head, and set them at the foot of the chair. "Can I go in now?!" She asked, eyes pleading, muscles tensed with excitement as she waited for permission to flee.
"Yes dear, just watch for other people." Lana said, settling back with her needlepoint.
"Yes ma'am!" Eily wanted to run, but she'd gotten scolded last week on top of scraping up her knees after tripping. With a quick glance up at the life guard, she slowly made her way over to the ladder. As she climbed down, she noticed a flash of black and white turning around to swim in the opposite direction. She finished climbing down, waded out until the water was above her head, and began turning somersaults until the figure swam past her again. Eily swam back to where her feet could touch, and let out a breath of amazement. She'd never seen anyone swim like that in her whole life. The lady was long and elegant, and made the whole process look smooth. She saw again the flash of black and white, and with a face set in determination, set out to race the lady.

''Just a few more laps, and then I'll head in.'' Ozbourne thought as she flipped at the end of the pool. She sliced through the water, finishing the last three laps with a lazy grace. She then climbed out of the pool and started towards the lounge chair to dry off.

Eily was a decent swimmer for someone under 5 years old, but her short legs and arms were working against her in this race against the long lady. She was just over half way to the opposite wall when the lady flipped and began swimming towards her. ''Normal isn't good enough today Eileen! You gotta work harder if you want to catch up with her!'' She thought to herself, and began pushing herself. Only a quarter past flipping when the lady turned and headed towards her again. ''I can do this if I try hard enough!'' Eily thought with determination. She kicked and continued, but as she tapped the wall and flipped, she saw the lady doing the same at the opposite end of the pool. ''Faster, faster!'' She goaded herself mentally. Determined to catch up with the lady, she continued on, focusing on the wall and getting there as fast as she could. As she touched the wall and launched back towards the ladder end of the pool, she saw the lady swimming beside her. ''I DID IT!" She thought. "I finally caught up to her!" She kept pace for a while, only to lose her stamina towards the end and fall behind. She tapped the wall for the last time, and watched as the lady stepped out of the pool. Eily stared down at her toes dejectedly, then climbed out of the pool, and made her way over to Lana. [[http://i455.photobucket.com/albums/qq278/buttercupistiny/race.png?t=1271911634 HELPFUL DIAGRAM]]

Lana handed Eily her towel, and while the child dried off her arms, legs, and torso, Lana loosed, and then unbraided the girl's ponytail. Eily put her sandals back on, pulled her dress over her head, and walked over to a small patch of dandelions. Taking five yellow heads and stems, and holding them in her small fist, she walked over to the lady.

Ozbourne stood, bent double as she flipped her hair over her head to towel it dry. The curtain of black and white obscured her vision. As she looked up when she flipped the twisted hair and towel onto itself, finishing the turban, she saw a set of small white flipflops with daisies on the toestraps, a small fist clutching a handful of dandelions extended towards her, leading up to a yellow empire waisted dress, and finally to a small, rounded face, clenched in silent embarassed anger. "You won." The little girl said with a grimace.\\
"I whuh--" Ozbourne said, bewildered. \\
"The race. You won. I picked these for you." The small fist nudged her hand. Ozbourne took them from the girl and sat down, to be at the girl's eye level. "Thank you. They're beautiful. I'll have to put them in a vase when I get back to my apartment."\\
The girl's eyes finally opened, and wide as saucers as her grimace faded and a huge smile lit up her face. "REALLY? You really like 'em?"\\
"I sure do, buttercup." Ozbourne returned the smile. The girl's eyes sparkled with impish delight as she retorted, "What kind of name is buttercup?"\\
"It's a nickname." Ozbourne replied. "Sometimes, when you don't know someone's name, or you don't want to use their real name, you use a nickname instead."\\
"So if I'm Buttercup, what's that make you?"\\
"Most people call me Ozbourne, Oz for short."\\
"Oh. Okay. Well, Lana's starting to look at me funny, so I have to go."\\
"Hope to see you soon, Buttercup."\\
"You too Oz! Bye!"\\
Ozbourne watched the retreating back of the little girl, wet waves dancing side to side as she walked. She looked down at the dandelions in her hand and smiled. She stood up, grabbed her things, and set back towards the apartments.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Full Name Ultimatums]]
"Eileen Michelle Turner, what made you think it was okay to go talk to that woman?" Lana asked sharply of the child holding her hand.\\
"We raced. She won. I had to congratulate her properly." Eily said quietly.\\
"Did she know you were racing?" \\
"No"\\
"Had you met her before with your father?"\\
"No"\\
"So you approached a perfect stranger and started talking to them?"\\
"Yes. But--" Lana cut her short.\\
"But nothing, Eily. You need to be more cautious." She keyed them into the building and followed Eily as the youngster bounded up the two flights of stairs. She unlocked the front door and sent Eily to her room to change while she worked on preparing dinner.

Eily sat at the small desk beside her father's, writing tablet in front of her, purple crayon poised as she looked up at the handwriting chart that hung on the wall above her desk. "E-i-l-e-e-n." She spoke each letter as she scrawled them as carefully as she could manage. She stuck her tounge out of the corner of her mouth in concentration, poised the crayon on the next line and quietly read out the letters as she wrote, "M-i-c-h-e-l-l-e." Starting a new line, determination etched in her face, she subvocalized "T-u-r-n-e-r." She started to set down her crayon, but hesitated, calling out to Lana, "Lana! How do you spell Buttercup?" Lana came through the doorway of the kitchen into the main room, drying her hands with a towel. "B-u-t-t-e-r-c-u-p." Lana replied, giving time between each letter to allow the child to write, "Why do you ask?"\\
"Just curious." Eily responded with a grin.\\
"I suppose that's as good an answer as any, considering the source. Need anything else Eily dear?"\\
"No ma'am. That's all. Thank you for your help!"\\
"Alright, if that's everything, I'm going to go finish putting away the clean dishes."\\
Eily looked down at the paper and smiled. ''Buttercup,'' she thought, ''I like it.''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Informing Father]]
The specialized rap on the door and the key turning in the lock raised Eily to her feet. Her father swung the door open, and entered saying "How're my little ladies doing tonight?!"
Lana stood in the doorway of the kitchen and replied, "We're doing just fine Eamon, food should be ready shortly. How was your day?"\\
"Uneventful. Reading through manuscripts, trying to find authors good enough to back. Found a couple that seem promising, but we'll have to wait and--" He trailed off as the insistent tugs on his trousers started fighting against his belt. He stared down, raised his eyebrows, and turned back up to face Lana. "see." He finished. Turning his attention towards his daughter, he said, "Yes, Eily?"\\
"Papa!" She exclaimed, her eyes brimming with excitement. "There was this really pretty lady at the pool today, and she could swim faster than you!"\\
His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped as he feigned shock, "Was there now? You've got to be kidding me! Faster than I can? You must've been mistaken kiddo!"\\
"No sir! we raced and everything!" Eamon smiled and sighed, dropping down into a squat to be on level with his daughter.\\
"Eily, did she know you were racing?"\\
"Well, not until after..." She mumbled. Her father placed his thumb on one temple, his middle and index fingers on the other.\\
"Eily, what have I told you about racing complete strangers without their knowledge?"\\
"But Papa! You should have seen her!"\\
"Well, how about next week you and I go to the pool, and see if we can find her. How's that sound?" Eily merely beamed in reply.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:No Dice]]
For two weeks, Eamon and Eily set out in search of Ozbourne, recreating the circumstances under which she'd first been encountered. After she didn't show up for the third week in a row, Eily was crushed.\\
Eamon knelt on the concrete, toweling dry his sodden daughter and said, "I'm sorry Little Bird. She must not live here. She must have been visiting a friend or staying with family."\\
"But ''PAPA'' there was nobody ''with'' her!" came the exasperated reply.\\
"Maybe her friend was in the gym while she was out here. Eily, look; I know you were excited, but I really doubt she lives here. You're just going to have to accept that, and move on."\\
Eily huffed, blowing her bangs up in frustration. "Fine." She mumbled as she pulled her cover-up over her head.\\
"That's my girl. Now let's go get some laundry done. Sound like a plan?"\\
"Laundry?" Her eyes brightened and widened, "DO I GET TO PUT THE QUARTERS IN?!"\\
"Of course, I wouldn't ''dream'' of taking that job away."\\
Eileen smiled brightly and grabbing her father's hand, began pulling, trying to start him into a jog. "WELL COME ON THEN! LET'S ''GO!''"\\
Eamon laughed, slinging the duffel over his head like a messenger bag and scooping up his daughter into a football carry on his left, started running towards their apartment.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Aftermath]]
Eamon paced between the kitchen and the front door, "Uh-huh, yes, of course. I'm going to go pack an overnight bag for myself, and then gather her things for her, take them over to the hospital. I'll give you the key on my way down." He paused for a moment, listening, and then, “Alright, take care, thank you again.” He hung up the phone, unlatched the chain lock, and unlocked the door. “Eily!”\\
“Yes Papa?”\\
“You stay here. Ozbourne will be up shortly. Stay out of trouble.” He kissed her head, gave her a hug, and went to go pull together what he needed from his room. By the time he got back to the living room, Eileen was no longer at her desk, and the door stood ajar. “Eily!” His harsh whisper would be enough to call her out of hiding if she was still in the apartment suite. “Eily, I really don't have the time for this.” None of her usual hiding places were occupied. He opened the door, and poked his head out into the hall. A little louder this time, but still quiet. It was getting late, and he didn't want to raise a ruckus. She couldn't have gone far. “Eily!” He closed the door behind him and hurried down the stairs.

As Ozbourne finished zipping up her overnight bag, she heard a small knock at the door. She threw the strap over her shoulder and walked over to the front door, checking the peephole before she opened it. She saw no one. ''Huh. Doesn't really matter what it was, must not have been important.'' She unfastened the security bolt and opened the door. She started to step out into the hall, but found someone already standing outside her door.

Barefoot, in a nightgown and pigtails, stood Buttercup. "Hi Ozbour--"\\
"''EILY!''" A hushed voice interrupted sharply from down the hall. Buttercup's head whipped around to face the whisperer. Her eyes widened, and she took a few steps back to allow Oz room to enter the hall. \\
"Uh-oh." Eily said as her father walked towards them. Ozbourne shut the door behind her and urged the girl forwards.\\
"Little bird, didn't I tell you to stay put?"\\
"Yessir, but I--"\\
"No buts Eileen. We'll talk about this when I get home, young lady." He knelt down in front of his daughter, gave her a hug, and kissed her forehead. "Behave for Ozbourne, okay?" Eily nodded, and he stood up, holding the keys out to Ozbourne. She took them from him, and Buttercup slipped her hand into Ozbourne's. "Watch out," Eamon said, "she's a handful." Ozbourne smiled at him and said, "At least life's never boring with her around." Eamon laughed and left the two of them standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching his retreating back as he headed towards Lana's apartment.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Lana Goes Away]]
In khakis, light blue polo, and brown sandals, the tall, dark haired man held the hand of his similarly clad daughter; though she boasted a khaki jumper and white tights, with a blue ribbon headband tied in a bow to match her shirt. Eamon showed his ID at the reception desk and was granted two clip on tags reading, "Room 1437: Guest A" and the other "Guest B". He clipped A to his lapel, and B he clipped to the straps crossing Eily's back. "Now remember, Eileen..." He started sternly.\\
Eily sighed and finished, "Careful walking steps."\\
"What else?" Eamon prompted.\\
"No pouncing." Eily said with a pout.\\
Eamon smiled down at her. "Atta girl. Go ahead and press the up button."\\
Eily did as she was told, and poked the upper of the two available buttons. It lit up with a soft yellow-orange backlight as she stepped back and waited with a satisfied smile for the tell-tale ding.

Eamon held her back, more for his comfort than anything else, as the doors slid open and the surge of people emerged from the elevator. He urged her forward once the last had exited, nodding as they passed. Aided by hands lifting her by her tiny waist, Eileen prodded the button she would have been unable to reach otherwise. As he set her back down on the floor, Eamon asked, "Are you ready?" Eily merely nodded her head. Taking her hand as the doors slid open he said, "Let's go."\\
Eily wrinkled her nose at the smells as they walked down the halls towards Lana's room. It smelled bad here. Not like garbage smelled bad, but in the way the air smelled before a big storm, almost too clean. She held her father's hand just a little tighter. Eamon squeezed her hand in return, and they finally arrived at the proper suite. The door was ajar, but Eily stood rigid in front of it. She looked up at Eamon. He smiled down at her, knocked the special knock and swung the door open the rest of the way, nudging Eily into the room. "How's my favorite old lady today?" He chuckled as he himself and his daughter around the privacy curtain. Lana smiled wanely as she raised the head of the bed. "She's hanging on as best she can, and making the best of the situation."\\
"That's good to hear. I brought somebody to see you today." Eily clung to Eamon's pant leg.\\
"Did you now? Hello my Little Love."\\
"H-hi, Lana." Eily stammered. It was Lana, but not as Eily knew her. She looked more tired than Eily had ever seen her, and her voice was quieter, as though it too had grown tired. Her silvering gray hair was loose, hanging about her shoulders, rather than pulled tight into a bun behind her head. Eily recognized the sweatsuit, however.The shirt was mostly white, with two wide, horizontal magenta stripes and a faux polo collar that came over that of the sweatshirt. The pants were magenta to match the stripes and collar.\\
"Did you have a good day at school?" Lana asked, growing more alert.\\
Eily stood on her tiptoes and put her hands on the footboard. "Kinda, I guess. We had macaroni and cheese for lunch today." Eily smiled, then looked pensive for a moment. "And apple juice." She added quickly.\\
"Sounds a good sight better than what they gave me!" Lana said with a laugh. Eamon picked Eily up off the floor, and set her down on the bed.
Eily snuggled herself up beside Lana, resting her head on Lana's chest, her fingers clutching a small handful of pink fabric. "Lana," she started, "When are you coming back home?"\\
"Back to the apartments you mean?"\\
Eily nodded.\\
"I'm not coming back to the apartments, Little One. My son has requested that I come live near him where it's warm all year and he can be close by."\\
"But ''why'' Lana? What's different now? You always took care of yourself before! Why can't you keep on doing it?!" A note of panic stretched the small voice as she quickly sat up.\\
"Eileen, I'm getting old. Look at me. A pile of wet leaves, and I'm in the hospital. My son worries about what ice and snow would do."\\
Tears started forming in Eily's eyes. "But I can't remember a time without you! What am I 'spossa do without you to keep me in line! Who's going to spell things for me?"\\
Lana clasped the small smooth hands in her own, weathered by time. "I'm sure you'll find someone. And you do still have your father, doesn't she Eamon?"\\
Eamon looked back at his daughter and Lana, slightly dazed from being roused from his observations out the window. "Yes, of course she does."\\
"See, Eily. Everything will work out for you. I promise." [[/folder]]

[[#Storytime]][[folder:My Story]]
Okay, lots of backstory you need to absorb first.

My grandmother Ursula, aka Grammee, was diagnosed with glaucoma and could no longer afford rent. Of her four children, only my mother offered to take her in. Thus, she, my father and I were going to roadtrip in her Neon from Southeast Ohio to Southern California visiting lots of Little Old Lady Tourist Traps along the way. I was going to finish up my practice hours I needed to get my license when we got back to California.

My family goes back to Ohio about once every two or three years, give or take to visit friends and family. So this was a routine trip there, with the added bonus of a roadtrip for those involved. My mom and little sister had gone back to California by the time our story begins.

People of Note:
* Uncle Jimmy- my mom's eldest brother
** Aunt Lynne- his wife
*** Stephenie- his 6 year old daughter
*** Stephen- his 5 year old son
* Uncle Jeff- my mom's elder brother, lives in the middle of nowhere, Ohio
** Aunt Lisa- his wife
* Ursula aka Grammee- my maternal grandmother
* Liam- my dad
** Myself- 16 years old

So we were staying with Jim/Lynne/the kids and my Aunt Lisa calls my grandmother to say that she made a pie, and now Jeff thinks we're throwing him a surprise birthday party. So being the awesome family we are, we decided to go ahead and make it a reality. Aunt Lynne stayed behind to fix Hello Dolly costumes, but the rest of us were going to head up to Jeff's. My grandma asked me if I wanted to ride in the Neon with she and my dad, or if I wanted to go with Jim and the kids. I told her I'd let the kids decide. Being 5 and 6 they each grabbed a hand and pulled me into the van. "I'll come with you guys," I laughed, "but only if I get to sit in the middle seat." They'd been arguing over it the entire week we'd been there, and I wasn't about to deal with them bickering the entire hour or two it would take to get to Jeff's. They agreed, and buckled in on either side of me. We were in the very back seat of a '97 voyager, without the middle seat in. Both the kidlets had shoulder harnesses, but I just had the lapbelt. So we're laughing, and giggling, and taking pictures. At some point I apparently told Steph I was going to take the wheel because her dad was swerving, but apparently I didn't think it was bad enough at the time to actually do it. It started raining and eventually Stevie fell asleep, Steph fell asleep, I fell asleep, and then at 5:30 pm EST apparently, so did my Uncle.

My dad saw my Uncle swerve into the opposite lane in front of him, so he stopped and thus stopped traffic in his lane in an attempt to give the woman coming up out of the dell an escape route. She saw this and went to go over into that lane to avoid the crash.

When I was 10, my mom had a seizure and trained me to wake up to drifting. So I woke up, saw my uncle's silhouetted drooping head and screamed. I stood up in my seatbelt, grabbed the sides of the seat and braced for impact. My scream woke him up, and he autocorrected right into the other driver. both vehicles went mildly airborne and came back down.

My dad left my grandma to call 911 and ran to the car expecting to find four dead bodies, including mine. When he pried open the door he was greeted with "Daddy, I'm scared, I can't feel my legs" He calmed me down and simultaneously tried to get a feel for everyone else. Steve seemed to be doing alright, at least better than the rest of us. Steph just kept getting paler and paler with every heartbeat. My uncle had no clue what was going on and kept asking "Who's missing?" We later figured out he couldn't figure out why Aunt Lynne wasn't with us. My grandma was frantic because he didn't remember her. Someone had to drive back to town to call 911. No cell service in the middle of nowhere.

So after what felt like forever I heard sirens. I remember getting pulled out, mostly because I could breathe again without the acrid smoke,and I remember feeling the rain on my face and arms, my stomach, but not my legs. I remember being worried about Steph. I remember the paramedic letting my dad pull hair out of my face and telling me he loved me, and to hold on. I remember being loaded into the ambulance because I couldn't feel the rain. and then I don't remember anything else until the hospital post-op.

They stabilized us at Trinity West, and wanted to life-flight us to Pittsburgh Childrens but it was raining too hard. There was a Steelers game that night and fans weren't parting for the ambulances. But they eventually got us there. Neither my cousins nor myself were expected to make it through the night.

There was no semblance of a front to either vehicle when all was said and done. Our dash on the passenger side was inset 18 inches. My uncle had a double concussion (my aunt's forearm crutch got him in the back, the windshield/airbag did a doozy on the front.) burst every capillary in his chest, bruised his liver, and broke his foot and I learned recently, a coupla ribs.

Stephenie had a tear in her aorta, intestinal injuries and her back was broken at L1. Paramedics said had I not held her back, her aorta would have completely ruptured and she would have died on scene.

Stephen had intestinal injuries and his back was broken at L3. Paramedics said if I hadn't held him in he would've projectiled.

As for me, well, standing up and arching against a lap restraint isn't the smartest thing for self preservation. I transected my abdominal wall, my sigmoid colon was obliterated, I shattered L3 into bone fragments, and when it shattered it took out my spinal cord at T12/L1 circumferentially at the conus. I have a colostomy named Edward, because at the time, I was 16 and couldn't cope with having a piece of my intestine sticking out of my stomach, so it needed to be a separate entity. And the notmyboyfriend who was there when they told me I'd never walk again had abandoned me cause he couldn't deal, I had just a bit of misandry goin' on. so because he hurt and he smelled bad, he got a boy's name. I hope you won't hold that against me.

This is my story.

Any questions?
[[/folder]]
----

->-Is [[strike:20]] 21 years old

-->...I was going to die? This is either news to me or I forgot the matter ''entirely''. - {{Tropers/Krrackknut}}.

--> I actually enjoyed Twilight, but that's neither here nor there. I will give you that the fandom is fucking nuts. He's actually named after the King, all my various wounds were.

--> I actually enjoyed Twilight, but that's neither here nor there. I will give you that the fandom is fucking nuts.

->-Goes by the nicks Buttercrisp, Buttercrispy, Buttercup, [[{{@/Charlatan}} Buttershmup]], and BattleScowler on #yackfest

[[/folder]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tropes That Apply]]

[[folder:Interactive Vandals!]]

[[#Storytime]][[folder:My Story]]
Okay, lots of backstory you need to absorb first.

My grandmother Ursula, aka Grammee, was diagnosed with glaucoma and could no longer afford rent. Of her four children, only my mother offered to take her in. Thus, she, my father and I were going to roadtrip in her Neon from Southeast Ohio to Southern California visiting lots of Little Old Lady Tourist Traps along the way. I was going to finish up my practice hours I needed to get my license when we got back to California.

My family goes back to Ohio about once every two or three years, give or take to visit friends and family. So this was a routine trip there, with the added bonus of a roadtrip for those involved. My mom and little sister had gone back to California by the time our story begins.

People of Note:
* Uncle Jimmy- my mom's eldest brother
** Aunt Lynne- his wife
*** Stephenie- his 6 year old daughter
*** Stephen- his 5 year old son
* Uncle Jeff- my mom's elder brother, lives in the middle of nowhere, Ohio
** Aunt Lisa- his wife
* Ursula aka Grammee- my maternal grandmother
* Liam- my dad
** Myself- 16 years old

So we were staying with Jim/Lynne/the kids and my Aunt Lisa calls my grandmother to say that she made a pie, and now Jeff thinks we're throwing him a surprise birthday party. So being the awesome family we are, we decided to go ahead and make it a reality. Aunt Lynne stayed behind to fix Hello Dolly costumes, but the rest of us were going to head up to Jeff's. My grandma asked me if I wanted to ride in the Neon with she and my dad, or if I wanted to go with Jim and the kids. I told her I'd let the kids decide. Being 5 and 6 they each grabbed a hand and pulled me into the van. "I'll come with you guys," I laughed, "but only if I get to sit in the middle seat." They'd been arguing over it the entire week we'd been there, and I wasn't about to deal with them bickering the entire hour or two it would take to get to Jeff's. They agreed, and buckled in on either side of me. We were in the very back seat of a '97 voyager, without the middle seat in. Both the kidlets had shoulder harnesses, but I just had the lapbelt. So we're laughing, and giggling, and taking pictures. At some point I apparently told Steph I was going to take the wheel because her dad was swerving, but apparently I didn't think it was bad enough at the time to actually do it. It started raining and eventually Stevie fell asleep, Steph fell asleep, I fell asleep, and then at 5:30 pm EST apparently, so did my Uncle.

My dad saw my Uncle swerve into the opposite lane in front of him, so he stopped and thus stopped traffic in his lane in an attempt to give the woman coming up out of the dell an escape route. She saw this and went to go over into that lane to avoid the crash.

When I was 10, my mom had a seizure and trained me to wake up to drifting. So I woke up, saw my uncle's silhouetted drooping head and screamed. I stood up in my seatbelt, grabbed the sides of the seat and braced for impact. My scream woke him up, and he autocorrected right into the other driver. both vehicles went mildly airborne and came back down.

My dad left my grandma to call 911 and ran to the car expecting to find four dead bodies, including mine. When he pried open the door he was greeted with "Daddy, I'm scared, I can't feel my legs" He calmed me down and simultaneously tried to get a feel for everyone else. Steve seemed to be doing alright, at least better than the rest of us. Steph just kept getting paler and paler with every heartbeat. My uncle had no clue what was going on and kept asking "Who's missing?" We later figured out he couldn't figure out why Aunt Lynne wasn't with us. My grandma was frantic because he didn't remember her. Someone had to drive back to town to call 911. No cell service in the middle of nowhere.

So after what felt like forever I heard sirens. I remember getting pulled out, mostly because I could breathe again without the acrid smoke,and I remember feeling the rain on my face and arms, my stomach, but not my legs. I remember being worried about Steph. I remember the paramedic letting my dad pull hair out of my face and telling me he loved me, and to hold on. I remember being loaded into the ambulance because I couldn't feel the rain. and then I don't remember anything else until the hospital post-op.

They stabilized us at Trinity West, and wanted to life-flight us to Pittsburgh Childrens but it was raining too hard. There was a Steelers game that night and fans weren't parting for the ambulances. But they eventually got us there. Neither my cousins nor myself were expected to make it through the night.

There was no semblance of a front to either vehicle when all was said and done. Our dash on the passenger side was inset 18 inches. My uncle had a double concussion (my aunt's forearm crutch got him in the back, the windshield/airbag did a doozy on the front.) burst every capillary in his chest, bruised his liver, and broke his foot and I learned recently, a coupla ribs.

Stephenie had a tear in her aorta, intestinal injuries and her back was broken at L1. Paramedics said had I not held her back, her aorta would have completely ruptured and she would have died on scene.

Stephen had intestinal injuries and his back was broken at L3. Paramedics said if I hadn't held him in he would've projectiled.

As for me, well, standing up and arching against a lap restraint isn't the smartest thing for self preservation. I transected my abdominal wall, my sigmoid colon was obliterated, I shattered L3 into bone fragments, and when it shattered it took out my spinal cord at T12/L1 circumferentially at the conus. I have a colostomy named Edward, because at the time, I was 16 and couldn't cope with having a piece of my intestine sticking out of my stomach, so it needed to be a separate entity. And the notmyboyfriend who was there when they told me I'd never walk again had abandoned me cause he couldn't deal, I had just a bit of misandry goin' on. so because he hurt and he smelled bad, he got a boy's name. I hope you won't hold that against me.

This is my story.

Any questions?
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