History Timeline / Homestuck

Sweet Troll Jegus, how can one series incorporate so much [[StableTimeLoop Weird]] [[MyOwnGrandpa Time]] [[AlternateTimeline Shit?]] Organizing this temporal clusterfuck is going to be one of the most troublesome, time-consuming, headache-inducing tasks you have ever undertaken. [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife You will nonetheless waste countless hours on this pointless tomfoolery.]]

* The amount of character options break MSPaintAdventures.

* John, Jane, Dad and Nannasprite become the leader of the humans, Dave, Jade, Karkat and Terezi become the leader of the trolls, Rose, Kanaya, Roxy, and Calliope become the leaders of the Carapaciens and Dirk, Jake, and GCATavrosprite become the leaders of the consorts.

* Dirk (possibly with the help of Jake and/or GCATavrosprite), build a robot that is nearly identical to Lord English.

* Jake reopens SkaiaNet Enterprises.

[[folder: Fully Retconned Post-Scratch Human (B2) Session]]

[[folder:Cherub Universe/Hussie-verse]]

[[folder:Cherub Session]]

* At some point, the B2 Earth and Post-Scratch Trolls' Ectobiology Meteor are brought to this universe by Jade.
** WV and PM create a civilization based on Can Town, where all the survivors of the Retconned Alpha Session live.

[[folder:Universe C]]
* The genesis frog is created in the post-scratch human SBURB session, creating this universe.
* John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, Roxy, Dirk, Jake, Dad, Karkat, Kanaya, Terezi, and Calliope enter the new universe and place the Earth within.
* Several carapacians get to work in establishing civilization.
* Everyone goes on the meteor and uses Everyone's ghost slime imprints (except Calliope's) to make a LOT of babies, and send them off to various parts of the world.
* Our heroes time travel 5000 years in the future, where civilization is prosperous.
* Our heroes are welcomed and revered as deities.
* John, Jane, Dad and Nannasprite become the leader of the humans, Dave, Jade, Karkat and Terezi become the leader of the trolls, Rose, Kanaya, Roxy, and Calliope become the leaders of the Carapaciens and Dirk, Jake, and GCATavrosprite become the leaders of the consorts.
* At some point from now, Terezi leaves and attempts to find Vriska in the furthest ring
* Everyone celebrates John's sixteenth birthday.
* Rose and Kanaya get Married
* Dave, Karkat and Jade excavate the JPEG statues of liberty
* Dirk (possibly with the help of Jake and/or GCATavrosprite), build a robot that is nearly identical to Lord English.
* John's eighteenth birthday is celebrated
* John Contacts Terezi who still didn't find Vriska, but witnessed Alt!Calliope's black hole. Nobody knows what to make of it.
* Jane reopens Crocker Corp.
* Jake reopens SkaiaNet Enterprises.
* John's nineteenth birthday is celebrated.
* John's twentieth birthday is celebrated.
* Caliborn, now granted ultimate power from Yaldabaoth's trial, contacts John and challenges him.
* John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane, Roxy, Dirk, and Jake use John's retcon powers to go fight Caliborn.
[[/folder]]
----

** PM and Bec Noir grab Jade's body and chase GCat, with Dave hot in pursuit

* Karkat rushes at Gamzee, who drops him in lava. Dave tries to fight PM and Jack, but is impaled from both sides. Kanaya cuts Gamzee in half in retaliation. Aranea throws Jane off her and skewers her and Jake with Dirk's sword. The Condesce fires at Aranea, incinerating Kanaya in the process. Aranea and the Condesce begin to fight by telekinetically hurdling the Kids' planets towards each other. With planetary debris raining from the sky, Rose throws herself at the Condesce, only to be impaled and left near death. Terezi tries to fight Aranea, but gets sent flying across the planet. The Condesce refocuses her attention on Aranea, snapping her neck and leaving her soul to burn in the Forge. This all occurs nigh simultaneously.

* Sawtooth causes Dirk's home to enter the Land of Pyramids and Neon).
* Squarewave causes Roxy's home to enter the Land of Tombs and Krypton.

* Dirk (possibly with the help of Jake and/or GCATavrosprite's help, build a robot that is nearly identical to Lord English.

* John, Jane, Dad and Nannasprite become the leader of the humans, Dave, Jade, Karkat and Terezi become the leader of the trolls, Rose, Kanaya, Roxy, and Calliope become the leaders of the Carapaciens

* Nannasprite explains John's role in Sburb. Rose reconnects with John (with power from the generator by the mausoleum) and also listens to the tale, and updates her GameFAQs Walkthrough accordingly.

* Around this time, Con Air is filmed and subsequently released.
** John briefly zaps to this point, appearing on the filming set of Con Air.

** John bites into his Cruxite Apple to enter the Land of Wind and Shade.

* The Human Universe is destroyed from the outside by Jack Noir's Red Miles; its mass was channeled by the Tumor into the creation of [[color:lime:The Green Sun]]. The Scratch presumably comes into effect at this point, resetting the universe.

* John uses the codes from the Warhammer of Zillyhoo and Vriska's Fleurite Octet to create a Pop-o-Matic Vrillyhoo Hammer.

[[folder:Cherub Universe]]
* At some point, the B2 Earth turns up at this universe.
* At some point, Gamzee arrives at this universe.

* To protect himself from Caliborn's violent outbursts, Gamzee shackles Calliope and Caliborn.
* At some point, the trolls' Ectobiology Lab turns up at this universe, redirected by Grimbark Jade. It however was greatly altered by Gamzee; for example, Rose's new journal has many dark spots, and there is an entire room dedicated to Calliope and Caliborn, along with resources that cherubs absolutely adore.

* Caliborn and the Felt defeat Yaldabaoth. In turn he grants Caliborn "unconditional immortality", essentially turning him into Lord English.
* Caliborn and the Felt leave the session.

* Aradia arrives at the [[color:lime:Green Sun]].
* Sollux's semi-deceased dream self leaves his dream bubble and joins Aradia at the [[color:lime:Green Sun]].
* Rose and Dave finally emerge from the [[color:lime:Green Sun]], and are met by Sollux and Aradia. They all meet up with the other surviving trolls at the meteor.
* The bucket John sends from the Hussie-verse appears in the furthest ring and hits Karkat in the face.

[[folder:Hussie-verse]]
%%Yes, this timeline is also important, if only because Hussie manages to interact with the webcomic's verse in more ways than one would initially think.
* Hussie draws ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'', making occasional self-insert recaps. That's really all there is to say on the matter.
* Ms. Paint is hired to give [[GISSyndrome his study]] a nice Felt-green Photoshop makeover. Hussie is impressed and maybe slightly turned on, but is quickly distracted by his frustration with Lil Cal.
* At some point prior to Terezi's scratching of Disc 2, Hussie ascends to the God Tiers as the fully-realized Waste of Space. [[FakeUltimateHero Or possibly just]] [[TheMerch puts on one of the God Tier hoodies from his online store.]] He begins making preparations for the Scratch, placing two Fourth Walls exactly one yard apart and hanging Lord English's coat over one of them.
* Hussie smashes through the Fifth Wall to deal with Doc Scratch once and for all.
* Hussie eventually returns to the Hussie-verse and continues writing the story.
* At some point, Hussie becomes roboticized and orders some expensive green curtain cloth to hang over six window-gear contraptions in a warehouse not far from the study.
* Lord English's coat vanishes, and Jade's Prospitian ship crashes out through one Fourth Wall and back in through the other.
** John and Jade consequently coexist with Hussie for the length of exactly one yard, and for a time span of about three nanoseconds. Robo!Hussie tries to exploit this opportunity, but the most he can do in the given timeframe is to level them up and give them the GIFT OF GAB, [[MundaneMadeAwesome the ability to simply talk face-to-face without any middle-men]].
** Because of temporal relativity, and possibly because [[WebcomicTime the characters in the comic now need to catch up with time passed in the]] [[RealLife Hussieverse/real world]], Jade and John have to wait for approximately three years on board their Prospitian ship while travelling at warp speed, even though only three nanoseconds would pass everywhere outside the ship. During that timespan:
*** John and Jade briefly see Andrew Hussie but he's distorted because of their size and speed, causing Jade to consider him as "extra-dimensional shenanigan-based phenomena". Andrew puts a green curtain over the walls, blocking himself from their view.
*** John sends a message in a bucket to the group at [[color:lime:The Green Sun]] by using Jade as a gateway.
*** Jade turns fourteen.
*** John turns fourteen. An incident involving John, Jade, and Jaspersprite causes John to fall unconscious and enter a dream bubble briefly.
*** Jade turns fifteen.
*** John turns fifteen. He realizes that Con Air sucks, and proceeds to dream briefly, meeting and fighting Jack and managing to hit him with a distraction from Rose. He then finds Tavros and Vriska, coincidentally with the third part of Meenah's quest and MINISTRIFE.
*** John wakes up, managing to bring the ring from his dream to the real life.
*** Jade and Davesprite had a relationship over the past year, but broke up.
*** Jade turns sixteen.
*** John turns sixteen.
*** John and Jade break through the other wall.
* Hussie is seen taking care of Spades Slick while dressed up as a common fanart depiction of Calliope.
** Ms. Paint gets soup for Spades, only to run into Lord English holding Hussiebot's head.
** Lord English smacks Ms. Paint with his cane/scepter. Hussie notices this and runs to get Spades Slick. He then throws Spades off a balcony, causing him to land in water.
* Confronted on the balcony by English, Hussie attempts to shoot him with Doc Scratch's gun, but finds there are no more bullets. He instead throws it at English.
** English uses his cane, which doubles as an assault rifle, to kill Hussie.
* English leaves the Hussie-verse for the Furthest Ring.
* Spades Slick climbs back up onto the balcony and accepts a glass of milk from the butler.
* Spades Slick's arc begins. He recovers all of The Felt sans Snowman, instead having her place be filled in by Ms. Paint, and escapes to the B2 session.
[[/folder]]

* 01:00:00 After the Critical Moment (ACM): Karkat and Terezi participate in a memo begun by their past selves.

* Terezi lets Vriska fly off to face off against Bec Noir. However, when Vriska confronts him, he simply follows the trail she left behind to the Troll's hideout and slaughters everyone therein. He comes back with the corpses of Karkat and Terezi. Enraged, Vriska griefs with him, and uses her ultimate attack--Ancestral Awakening, activated by rolling all eights on her Fluorite Octet--to do battle. Had the timeline been allowed to continue in this direction, Vriska might well have won, but it would have been a {{Pyrrhic victory}}.

* Free-floating in the debris of two universes that compromises the [[color:lime:Green Sun]], in a [[http://mspandrew.tumblr.com/post/12341136347/le-factoids small, preserved pocket of green-hot spacetime soup]], Doc Scratch's dead body metamorphoses into Lord English.

** Grandpa Harley enters the Medium via the transportalizer beneath the frog temple, steals Jack Noir's Fourth Wall (among other shenanigans), and returns to Earth with Jade's taxidermied dreamself in tow.

* Aradia appears in the LOMAT and brutally beats Vriska to near-death before dissapearing. Vriska wakes up in Prospit as her dream self and mind controls Tavros into bringing her body to her Quest Bed. Using Tavros to write in her own blood, she explains that she wants him to kill her. Tavros is unable to do it, even when his Exile (Diamonds Droog) tells him to kill her. Vriska dies from bleeding out, but because she dies on her Quest Bed her dream self ascends to the God-Tiers and appears in the Battlefield. Tavros is traumatized to the point where he spends most of the rest of his session dreaming on Prospit, up until the Black King battle.

* In an undefined doomed timeline, Karkat ascends to the God Tiers, and later dies through unspecified means. This dead Karkat is seen in a dream bubble, accompanying a (possibly ''the'') dead Nepeta.

*** Jade appears and she and Dave have a showdown. In it, Jade throws WV to lava, but Dave is quick to rescue him.
*** In an alternate timeline, John appears and engages in a dialogue with Dave and Jade, saving WV from falling.
*** In an alternate alternate timeline, a different John appears and takes the original John away, restoring the timeline.

* Presumably, Gamzee stays on the meteor as well, crossing the defense portal with it.

* Roxy builds a pyramid out of perfectly generic objects. John appears, has a dialogue with her, and disappears to get his ring.

* At some point, Dirk, this session's Jack Noir, Bec Noir, Bec PM, Spades Slick, Ms. Paint and the Felt arrive to the session, all roughly coincidentally.

* John deposits Lowas and Roxy here, so that they will survive any changes John makes to the timeline.

* Caliborn returns to his land, which is now given the name "Land of Colour and Mayhem".

* Caliborn returns to his land, which now is given a proper name.

* The meteor arrives through a portal with Grimbark Jade (and probably Gamzee) on it. As the meteor impacts, Jade uses her powers on the Earth, presumably to take/send it to the cherubim universe.

* Karkat creates the 12 players of his session, and combines their genetic material to create the 12 "Ancestors". They are sent on meteors when the Reckoning begins.

*** John attempts to put out the resulting fire with the Barbasol Bomb, but shaving cream is actually very flammable and only spreads the flames further. However, a convenient ([[OrIsIt or is it?]]) gust of wind puts the fire out.

* Kanaya develops diurnal tendencies, finding the Alternian sun unnaturally invigorating. Having difficulty sleeping during the day as her lusus and other trolls inform her she should be, she wanders the desert for hours on end. During one of these explorations, she is visited by Doc Scratch, who puts her to sleep. Her dream self immediately awakens on Prospit.
* Guided by the clouds of Skaia, Kanaya takes a number of actions that will be instrumental to beginning the trolls' session. Most notably, she finds Rose's walkthrough (and develops a case of hero-worship for Rose as a result) and informs Sollux and Aradia of the existence of the red Frog Temple near her hive. Both take an acute interest in the temple, Aradia because of her fascination with archaeology, and Sollux because of the ancient programming code encrypted in the glyphs on the ruin's walls. Together, they determine that whatever program this code represents, it is only half complete. There is probably another ruin somewhere on Alternia with the other half of the code.

* A doomed Aradiabot impacts Alternia, carrying with her Li'l Cal and Dad Egbert's Wallet Modus, which contains a fedora hat and a Crosbytop. The impact exposes the buried blue Frog Temple near Aradia's hive. Aradia investigates and informs Sollux that she has found the second set of ruins, and he soon sets to work completing the code for the game that will be called Sgrub. Li'l Cal is given to Kanaya, who sews him a new green felt outfit. Aradia keeps the fedora, the Crosbytop, and the remnants of the Aradiabot.
* During an otherwise routine Charge vs. Scourge FLARP session, Vriska finally pushes things too far. She assumes the role of Tavros' GameMaster and arranges, with Doc Scratch's assistance, for Terezi and Aradia to be distracted elsewhere while they play. Tavros soon finds himself overwhelmed with the overpowered enemies Vriska sends out at him, cornered at the edge of a cliff. He tries to back out of [=FLARPing=] (even trying to get help from Aradia and Terezi, to no avail), but Vriska manipul8s him and forces him to "fly" off a cliff. He lands hard, and is paralyzed from the waist down. While waiting for help to come, Tavros communes with the Horsaroni Fiduspawn at his hive, causing it to inscribe the t1ck code on the walls of his hive and in his FLARP manual with the blood of its spawning plush (though he later does not recall doing this).

** At Doc Scratch's prompting, Vriska manipul8ts Sollux into flying to Aradia's hive with a jar of mind honey. She simultaneously trolls Aradia, goading her into looking out of her window just in time to see the mind-controlled Sollux eat the mind honey. The resulting optic blast destroys Aradia's hive and kills Aradia. Nonetheless, Aradia lingers on as a ghost. As she awakens in the ruins of her burnt-out hive, the now-ghostly Aradia inscribes the t0ck code all over its walls and in her old FLARP manual with the scattered soot.

*** John briefly zaps to Vriska's hive.
** Vriska does a psychic double reacharound, manipul8ting Tavros into communing Terezi's lusus into influencing Terezi to sleepwalk into the forest in the middle of the day and staring into the Alternian sun until she goes blind. On the bright side, this does wake up Terezi's dream self on Prospit. After taking revenge thus, Vriska inscribes the [=8r8k=] code on the walls of her hive and in her FLARP manual with her own blood. Similarly, while recovering from the trauma to her eyes, Terezi inscribes the [=H34DS=] code on the walls of her hive and in her own FLARP manual with red chalk.

* A doomed Aradiabot arranges for Karkat to trigger the Mobius Double Reacharound Virus. Triggering the virus causes Karkat's computer to explode, blowing a hole through his hive and killing his lusus. The virus also curses Karkat and everyone he comes into contact with, ensuring the deaths of their respective lusii.
* Sollux wakes up from his involuntary nap, and finds he had ingested some mind honey during it. Unable to restrain the optic blasts, he directs them upwards, destroying the roof above and killing his lusus.

** Meteors begin falling down on Alternia.
** The Condesce and her fleet attempt to return to their home planet, but fail to reach it in time to do anything.
** The remaining lusii of the trolls are all killed (except Aradia's, which was already killed when her hive was destroyed). They are eventually prototyped into kernelsrpites (again, except for Aradia who uses the head of the Frog Temple as her kernelsprite.)
** The death of Feferi's lusus Gl'bgolyb sets off the Vast Glub, killing every troll in the universe except the Condesce and Feferi.
*** By the time this occurs, all the troll players are in the Medium except for Sollux and the aforementioned Feferi. Sollux is able to send Feferi into the Medium and then dies, entering the game as a corpse.
** With her army and her ship's Helmsman dead, the Condesce begins to make her way back to Alternia in the Battleship Condescension.
* ??? years after Sgrub: The Banished Quasiroyal, an exiled Black Queen, wanders the deserts of post-apocalyptic Alternia when she is accosted by Doc Scratch, who gives her the new identity of Snowman and the power to destroy the Troll universe upon her death. She becomes an Exile for the Troll Session and proceeds to manipulate Vriska and Terezi into getting Jack Noir exiled in revenge for her own banishment.
* ??? years after Sgrub: An exiled Jack Noir from the trolls' session--by now a Scurrilous Straggler--wanders the desert where he witnesses his future self, Spades Slick, do battle with Sawbuck and Crowbar. He later goes on to build a city with his three cohorts, the Hegemonic Brute/Hearts Boxcars, the Courtyard Droll/Clubs Deuce, and the Draconian Dignitary/Diamonds Droog, and events transpire which lead to the very fight the Straggler saw in the first place.
* 606 sweeps (about 1313 years) after Sgrub: The meteor bearing the grub that will one day become the Handmaid almost impacts Alternia, but is diverted by Doc Scratch. He adopts/sequesters her and raises her to become Lord English's slave (while also bestowing her with useful temporal powers).

** The Midnight Crew Intermission: The Midnight Crew - Spades Slick, Clubs Deuce, Diamonds Droog, and Hearts Boxcars - infiltrate their mansion of their rival gang, the Felt. After several time-related shenanigans, Spades Slick ends up in a timeline where all of the Midnight Crew and the Felt are dead, except for himself, Snowman, Doc Scratch, and Lord English. Spades Slick loses an arm and becomes an Exile of the Troll Session. The remaining Troll Exiles are Clubs Deuce, Diamonds Droog, and Hearts Boxcars, likely also due to time-related shenanigans.

** Equius reaches LOQAM and gives Aradia her soulbot.

* Terezi tries to talk Aradia out of getting back at Vriska, but fails. Guided by the voices of the dead, Aradia summons the ghosts of all of Vriska's victims to torment her.
* At Doc Scratch's prompting, Vriska manipul8ts Sollux into flying to Aradia's hive with a jar of mind honey. She simultaneously trolls Aradia, goading her into looking out of her window just in time to see the mind-controlled Sollux eat the mind honey. The resulting optic blast destroys Aradia's hive and kills Aradia. Nonetheless, Aradia lingers on as a ghost. As she awakens in the ruins of her burnt-out hive, the now-ghostly Aradia inscribes the t0ck code all over its walls and in her old FLARP manual with the scattered soot.
* Terezi informs Vriska that she will be bringing her to justice, knowing that Vriska will be unable to resist consulting her magic cue ball. Meanwhile, she contacts Doc Scratch (with some help from Sollux), and informs him that Vriska has one of his magic cue balls. Enraged, Scratch blows up the cue ball while it's in Vriska's hands, destroying her arm and vision eightfold in the process.
** John briefly zaps to Vriska's hive.
* Vriska does a psychic double reacharound, manipul8ting Tavros into communing Terezi's lusus into influencing Terezi to sleepwalk into the forest in the middle of the day and staring into the Alternian sun until she goes blind. On the bright side, this does wake up Terezi's dream self on Prospit. After taking revenge thus, Vriska inscribes the [=8r8k=] code on the walls of her hive and in her FLARP manual with her own blood. Similarly, while recovering from the trauma to her eyes, Terezi inscribes the [=H34DS=] code on the walls of her hive and in her own FLARP manual with red chalk.

* The planet Beforus is home to two temporally separated sets of twelve [[AllTrollsAreDifferent trolls]] each. The later generation exits this universe, one by one, as Beforus is presumably destroyed.

!'''Beforus Session'''

* The twelve Beforan trolls play Sgrub for three solar sweeps (6 1/2 years), but fail because of a critical glitch in their session caused by Lord English.
** At some point, Aranea and Porrim are involved in a romance, stated to last half a sweep (1 1/12 years).

* Gamzee chucklevoodoos the evil clown doll in John's Prospit tower into existence.
* Gamzee chucklevoodoos Li'l Cal into existence.
* ca. 5544 hours before the Scratch: Jade takes [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/dreambotlog/davesmeteor.jpg this photo]] of Dave's meteor.
* ca. 36 hours before the Scratch: John and his house enter the Medium on a tall pillar on the Land of Wind and Shade.

** Prospit begins to have an eclipse, its moon floating up into Skaia's atmosphere. In the clouds, Jade witnesses the landing of the meteor that bore the Frog Temple to Earth.

* ca. 32 hours before the Scratch: Rose enters the Medium on the Land of Light and Rain.

** John fights some very large underlings in a salamander village. He doesn't do very well, but is rescued by Grandpa shooting the underlings from a distance.
*** John attempts to put out the resulting fire with the Barbasol Bomb, but shaving cream is actually very flammable and only spreads the flames further. However, a convenient (or is it?) gust of wind puts the fire out.

* Rose follows Mom's footprints in the sand of LOLAR through the secret passage in the mausoleum to a dock, which apparently once had a boat that is no longer there.

** Jack, curious as to what's so important about the green package, looks inside it.

* John, in his travels, gets shot out of an oil pipe, which the bunny he got for his birthday.
** John sees what he presumes to be a mother and daughter salamander, and immediately reenacts his favorite scene from ''Film/ConAir''.
* All of the kids slowly begin to interact with the trolls more frequently.
** Terezi offers to show John a shortcut to his seventh gate.

* ca. 28 hours before the Scratch: Dave enters the Medium on the Land of Heat and Clockwork.
** The Seppucrowkernel splits, prototyping with crows and swords through chests.

** Dream Rose also, at some point, flies over Dream Dave's tower, where she is able to hear the whispers of the dark gods of the Furthest Ring in her mind.

* Rose wakes, but not in time to catch John.

* PM? leaves Prospit on a shuttle for Skaia. But not before being pickpocketed by the Courtyard Droll, who makes off with the White Ring.

** The DD? breaks into Dave's bedroom and steals the journal copies.

** Skaia sends them both to Pre-Scratch Earth and Post-Scratch Earth, creating two alternate timelines.

* Dream John finds Dream Jade's corpse and recovers the White Ring.

*** The White Ring falls into a chasm, where it is eventually found and picked up (but not put on) by WV?.

** Bro jams his sword into the Beat Mesa, making the very beginning of a Scratch, and flees the scene to fast for Jack to follow.

** Jade pretends to fight with Grandpa Harley, who is dead, stuff, and mounted by the fireplace.
*** Some unknown time later: Jade fights with Bec and retrieves John's package for her 13th birthday. %% It's impossible to judge given there's such a huge gap between chats and she goes to sleep after fighting Bec.

*** John's present to Jade is teleported away by WV, complete with Jade's letters to PM and WV.

** Bro gives the Beta to Dave after soundly defeating him.

** Becquerel Tier 1 prototypes himself, and destroys Jade's incoming meteor; the resulting atomic shockwave devastates much of Earth.

*** (John briefly zaps to this point, and observes WV flying.

** WV enters his terminal again and advises John. John was not paying much attention due to being in great danger, so WV turned the capslock back on in order to get John's attention. WV's advice saved John's life, but using capslock re-locked the terminal, trapping WV inside.

** Red streaks of energy appear in the sky.

** Exactly ten seconds later, Jack Noir emerges from the Lotus time capsule. He kills WQ and WK, and exits the Frog Temple.

** Jack Noir teleports inside WV's terminal and rips the uranium out of WV's stomach. He uses the uranium to restore power to the terminal and uses it to teleport to the troll session.

*** The White Ring slips out of WV's pocket. PM sees it and puts it on.

* April 21, 1910: The future Grandpa Harley lands, and accidentally kills Colonel Sassacre with his flintlock pistols.
* April 21, 1923: The future Grandpa Harley and Halley leave the future Nanna Egbert for a life of adventure.
** An ectobiological sample of Halley is taken to create Bec.

** Betty Crocker disappears, leaving Grandpa Harley in control of her business empire.

** Grandpa Harley becomes a world renowned businessman, adventurer, and scientist.

** Grandpa Harley enters the Medium via the Transportalizer beneath the frog temple, steals Jack Noir's Fourth Wall (among other shenanigans), and returns to Earth with Jade's taxidermied dreamself in tow.
* December 1, 1995: Jade lands with the bunny gifted to her by John, destroying a Betty Crocker factory. She is adopted by Grandpa Harley

** Rose lands with the bunny gifted to her by John. Mom Lalonde discovers and adopts her afterwards.

* April 13, 1996: John lands with his Sassacre tome, destroying the Egberts' family joke shop. Nanna perishes in the explosion.

* September 21, 2000, 4:13:14 P.M.: Rose discovers Jaspers' corpse.

** Betty Crocker's company Twitter page sends Bro Strider a link to the Miracles music video. When Dave shows this to Gamzee, it triggers the beginning of his descent into insanity.

* April 13, 2009: John's thirteenth birthday. All of Act I takes place.

** Jade pretends to fight with Grandpa Harley.

* Beta and Alpha are used sometimes to refer to the Pre and Post Scratch Human Sessions respectively [[note]]This comes from the naming of Sburb: pre-Scratch, it is Sburb Beta and post-Scratch it is Sburb Alpha[[/note]] and are not to be confused with beta, or offshoot timelines, which deviate from the alpha, or main, timeline. Due to the confusion this causes, they should be referred to as Pre and Post Scratch, or B1 and B2, explained below.

** Jaspers is accidentally appearified out of the B1 universe and into the Alpha one by Roxy.

* Jade is trolled by Eridan, who gives her the code to Ahab's Crosshairs, believing it will help her in her rivalry against the "witch" (Rose). Unfortunately, since said rivalry exists only in his own head, Jade deems the gun useless and throws it out in the trash so that it will eventually find its way to her penpal, Jake (see Alpha Human Universe).

* At some point, Jade is contacted by Doc Scratch, who tells her about where the Fourth Wall leads, and how to reach the new Alpha session by breaking through the Fourth Wall and crossing the yellow yard in Hussie's office.

** Rose goes to sleep, and her dreamself merges with the dreamself of Alpha Rose. This timeline ceases to exist.

* Caliborn begins his quest. For each of the newly spawned twelve planets, he has to repeat a procedure: first he has to overthrow whatever authority is guarding the planet, then take a bomb from the planet's core, place it so when it detonates the planet is sucked into the black hole, and move on to the next planet. For each of the planets, he receives a Felt member.

* On the outskirts of the session, Dirk first receives a message from ARquiusprite then messages Dave. He has about three hours to get from where he is to the session.

* Jade takes [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/dreambotlog/davesmeteor.jpg this photo]] of Dave's meteor.
* John and his house enter the Medium on a tall pillar on the Land of Wind and Shade.

* Rose enters the Medium on the Land of Light and Rain.

* Dave enters the Medium on the Land of Heat and Clockwork.

* Jade enters the Medium in the Land of Frost and Frogs.

** Unable to find his father in this castle, John decides to go get '''The Tumor''' from the core of the Battlefield. On Vriska's advice, John creates a tornado planetary drill and bores straight through the Battlefield. He descends into its core, finds '''The Tumor''', captchalogues it, and returns to the surface.