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* DepthDeception: Jeff being dragged up to the [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments miniature]] [[GroinAttack guillotine]].

to:

* DepthDeception: Jeff being dragged up to the [[invoked]] [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments miniature]] [[GroinAttack guillotine]].



* MostWritersAreWriters: No reference is made to Steve's job during the series, but in a DVDCommentary, Moffat mentions that Steve is, like him, a writer.

to:

* MostWritersAreWriters: No reference is made to Steve's job during the series, but in a [[invoked]] DVDCommentary, Moffat mentions that Steve is, like him, a writer.



* RealSongThemeTune: ''Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps''.



* ThrowTheDogABone: Jeff finally getting a girlfriend in Julia (averting MinorFlawMajorBreakup after their first date is a disaster), which even manages to avert ShippingBedDeath by mining the comedy of this poor woman having to manage a relationship with ''Jeff''.

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* ThrowTheDogABone: Jeff finally getting a girlfriend in Julia (averting MinorFlawMajorBreakup after their first date is a disaster), which even manages to avert [[invoked]] ShippingBedDeath by mining the comedy of this poor woman having to manage a relationship with ''Jeff''.
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* TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked". We even see their respective {{Imagine Spot}}s of the terrible things they thought would happen [[AlmostKiss if they kissed]] in the stationary cupboard.

to:

* TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked". We even see their respective {{Imagine Spot}}s of the terrible things they thought would happen [[AlmostKiss if they kissed]] in the stationary stationery cupboard.
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** From "The Cupboard of Patrick's Love", when Sally complains about being the only woman who hasn't slept with Patrick yet:

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** From "The Cupboard of Patrick's Love", when Sally complains about being that if Jane sleeps with Patrick, she (Sally) will be the only woman one who hasn't slept with Patrick yet:him:

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* TheFriendNobodyLikes: Jane, at first.
* FullNameUltimatum: Jeff's mother's reaction to the (very many) times she [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown caught him doing something embarrassing]] was always "Oh, ''Geoffrey''..."

to:

* TheFriendNobodyLikes: Jane, at first.
* FullNameUltimatum: Jeff's mother's reaction to the (very many) times she [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown caught him doing something embarrassing]] was always "Oh, ''Geoffrey''...''Jeffrey''..."
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* TheFriendsWhoNeverHang: The CastCalculus generally splits the gang into guys and girls, apart from the various, well, ''couplings'' that arise, plus Steve/Jane and Susan/Patrick occasionally interacting as exes. Jane also has sex with Patrick at one point, leaving Jeff and Sally as the only pair who never really interact together, and she seems to fairly openly dislike him.

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* TheFriendsWhoNeverHang: The CastCalculus generally splits the gang into guys and girls, apart from the various, well, ''couplings'' that arise, plus Steve/Jane and Susan/Patrick occasionally interacting as exes. Jane also has attempts to have sex with Patrick at one point, point (they never actually have sex, though some people mistakenly seem to think they did), leaving Jeff and Sally as the only pair who never really interact together, and she seems to fairly openly dislike him.
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** In his personal opinion, he's also "got technique". His ex [[spoiler:Jane]] disagrees, advising him that, when kissing, he should stop considering the epiglottis at the back of the throat a target and that he should stop trying to make nipples revolve like the knobs on an etch-a-sketch.

to:

** In his personal opinion, he's also "got technique". His ex [[spoiler:Jane]] disagrees, advising him Woman don't always agree - he's been advised that, when kissing, he should stop considering the epiglottis at the back of the throat a target and that he should stop trying to make nipples revolve like the knobs on an etch-a-sketch.
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* BadLiar: Patrick has this problem, leaving him unable to keep secret the fact that he slept with [[spoiler:Jane]].

to:

* BadLiar: Patrick has this problem, leaving him unable to keep secret the fact that he slept recorded another woman over his sex tape with [[spoiler:Jane]].Susan.

Removed: 162

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dewicking per TRS thread.


* SixStudentClique:
** The main character: Steve
** The Muscle: Patrick
** The Quirk: Jeff/Oliver
** The Pretty One: Sally
** The Smart One: Susan
** The Wild One: Jane
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Added DiffLines:

* MostWritersAreWriters: No reference is made to Steve's job during the series, but in a DVDCommentary, Moffat mentions that Steve is, like him, a writer.
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* '''Steve Taylor''': A nice, if somewhat neurotic everyman, who starts dating Susan after breaking up with Jane.
* '''Susan Walker''': A snarky and practical blonde with the occasional mean streak, who starts dating Steve after breaking up with Patrick.
* '''Jeff Murdock''': Steve's best friend. A paranoid ManChild obsessed with women's bits who provides the show's most awkward moments.
* '''Sally Harper''': Susan's beauty-obsessed best friend. Although originally written as a one-note character, she gets plenty of serious character development after the first series.
* '''Patrick Maitland''': Susan's ex, a laid-back casanova who ''does'' have his heart in the right place on occasion. He is also very well-endowed (a "tripod", apparently). Although he's not too bright, he has his serious moments.
* '''Jane Christie''': Steve's ex. A walking mess of crazy with many hidden layers of even more crazy, although hidden underneath all of ''that'' crazy, she seems to be a very sweet, very scared woman.
* '''Oliver Morris''': The final series' replacement of Jeff. Owns a fantasy/sci-fi store and is worse with the opposite gender than the rest of the cast combined. Notably, even Jane thinks he's crazy.

to:

* '''Steve Taylor''': Taylor''' (Jack Davenport): A nice, if somewhat neurotic everyman, who starts dating Susan after breaking up with Jane.
* '''Susan Walker''': Walker''' (Sarah Alexander): A snarky and practical blonde with the occasional mean streak, who starts dating Steve after breaking up with Patrick.
* '''Jeff Murdock''': Murdock''' (Richard Coyle): Steve's best friend. A paranoid ManChild obsessed with women's bits who provides the show's most awkward moments.
* '''Sally Harper''': Harper''' (Kate Isitt): Susan's beauty-obsessed best friend. Although originally written as a one-note character, she gets plenty of serious character development after the first series.
* '''Patrick Maitland''': Maitland''' (Ben Miles): Susan's ex, a laid-back casanova who ''does'' have his heart in the right place on occasion. He is also very well-endowed (a "tripod", apparently). Although he's not too bright, he has his serious moments.
* '''Jane Christie''': Christie''' (Gina Bellman): Steve's ex. A walking mess of crazy with many hidden layers of even more crazy, although hidden underneath all of ''that'' crazy, she seems to be a very sweet, very scared woman.
* '''Oliver Morris''': Morris''' (Richard Mylan): The final series' replacement of Jeff. Owns a fantasy/sci-fi store and is worse with the opposite gender than the rest of the cast combined. Notably, even Jane thinks he's crazy.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Dewicking per TRS decision.


** Happens in "The Girl with One Heart" to Sally with Patrick's GirlOfTheWeek Jennifer - Sally thinks Jennifer was fooling around with Jeff, but that she's aware that Sally is in love with Patrick. Jennifer thinks Sally is a lesbian and is coming on to her. [[BiTheWay Which is something she's totally okay with.]]

to:

** Happens in "The Girl with One Heart" to Sally with Patrick's GirlOfTheWeek Jennifer - Sally thinks Jennifer was fooling around with Jeff, but that she's aware that Sally is in love with Patrick. Jennifer thinks Sally is a lesbian and is coming on to her. [[BiTheWay Which is something she's totally okay with.]]


* BiTheWay:
** Jane mentions early in the show that she's bisexual, and mentions it often, but Susan thinks [[BaitAndSwitchLesbians she isn't bisexual at all]]. At one point in "Size Matters" she claims that being bi means she can go out with gay men, and simply won't believe the gay man in question when he tries to [[IncrediblyLamePun put her straight]]. However, in the episode "Nine and a Half Minutes", when Susan snogs her in order to turn on Steve, Jane is very obviously affected by it. Later in the series though, in the episode "The Naked Living Room", Oliver points out to Jane how these claims are all part of her tendency to [[AttentionWhore do anything to get attention]]. When she denies it, [[SubvertedTrope he shows her a foldout from a lads mag and she squeals and turns away in horror]].
** Played straight in the U.S. version, in one episode it's strongly implied that Jane slept with weather girl Connie.

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* BelligerentSexualTension: Sally and Patrick.



* BondageIsBad: Averted in the episode "The Freckle, the Key, and the Couple Who Weren't". Jeff and his girlfriend are shown to take part in bondage as part of their relationship and it is shown as part of a loving consensual relationship... or would be if Jeff weren't so bad at it.

to:

* BondageIsBad: Averted in the episode "The Freckle, the Key, and the Couple Who Weren't". Jeff and his girlfriend are shown to take part in bondage as part of their relationship and it is shown as part of a loving consensual SafeSaneAndConsensual relationship... or would be if Jeff weren't so bad at it. Also {{discussed}} in that Julia's possessive ex-boyfriend walks in on them and [[AbuseMistake misunderstands what's going on]].



* TheFriendsWhoNeverHang: The CastCalculus generally splits the gang into guys and girls, apart from the various, well, ''couplings'' that arise, plus Steve/Jane and Susan/Patrick occasionally interacting as exes. Jane also has sex with Patrick at one point, leaving Jeff and Sally as the only pair who never really interact together, and she seems to fairly openly dislike him.



* HappyPlace: In "Circus of the Epidurals", when Susan tries to talk to her birth partner Sally about the possibility of the doctors having to make "an incision", we cut to Sally sipping champagne in a white room, looking serene as a string quartet play Theatre/MadameButterfly. Susan's voice calling her then starts to fade in, then the scene cuts back to Susan shaking her awake. "Sorry... I went to my safe place."

to:

* HappyPlace: In "Circus of the Epidurals", when Susan tries to talk to her birth partner Sally about the possibility of the doctors having to make "an incision", we cut to Sally sipping champagne in a white room, looking serene as a string quartet play Theatre/MadameButterfly. Susan's voice calling her then starts to fade in, then the scene cuts back to Susan shaking her awake. "Sorry... I went to my safe place." A later attempt to retreat there is interrupted by a giant scalpel blade literally cutting it apart.



* IfYouDieICallYourStuff: According to Jeff in "Flushed", "porn buddies" are a variation in which the surviving buddy has to retrieve all the porn from the dead one's flat before their family [[PersonalEffectsReveal goes through their effects]], to spare the dead man's post-mortem embarrassment and help the survivor through the grieving process.

to:

* IfYouDieICallYourStuff: According to Jeff in "Flushed", "porn buddies" are a variation in which the surviving buddy has to retrieve [[PornStash all the porn porn]] from the dead one's flat before their family [[PersonalEffectsReveal goes through their effects]], to spare the dead man's post-mortem embarrassment and help the survivor through the grieving process.process. Getting to ''keep'' said collection is of course merely a bonus.



* NewOldFlame: Julia's scary squaddie ex shows up while Jeff rather unfortunately has her tied to the bed. After the episode resolves, Julia says the two of them have a lot of stuff to work out, and that ends up being the last we see of her. Apparently they moved to Bolton together.



* PassThePopcorn: Jeff is clearly very used to Steve's little rants. In "Inferno", he's not only sitting back and enjoying the show, he actually applauds at the end.



%% * PlugNPlayFriends: Oliver.
* PornWithoutPlot: Discussed at length in "Inferno" when Steve is grilled by the women over the discovery of a tape of lesbian porn in his possession.

to:

%% * PlugNPlayFriends: Oliver.
Oliver is introduced as a blind date for Jane at coincidentally the same time Jeff leaves, and immediately after his introductory episode starts hanging out all the time with Jeff's oldest friend Steve and more recent friend Patrick.
* PornWithoutPlot: Discussed at length in "Inferno" when Steve is grilled by the women over the discovery of a tape of lesbian porn in his possession.possession, which he gamely tries to defend as artistic "erotica" before eventually conceding that it's this.



* StopBeingStereotypical: In "Size Matters", Sally gets mad when Howard, a gay friend (whom Jane believes to be her boyfriend) agrees with Jeff's bizarre views on homosexuality, and exclaims [[HypocriticalHumor "That's homophobic, you stupid queen!"]] In fairness, the alluded view on homosexuality was Jeff suggesting that: (paraphrased) "Sex is easier for gay men, because all of the masturbating men do in their lives turns out to be practice. All the while they have a 'practice kit' for the real thing, but straight men don't get any practice women". While this certainly IS a somewhat bizarre view, its perhaps not as offensive as it seems without details (and he certainly wouldn't be the first person to say something to that effect.) It's also worth noting that this was supposed to be a drunken conversation, after a dozen pints very late in the evening and both of the guys are visibly drunk acting. Howard may well have been winding Sally up anyway, because she got really snarky about him being a Tory earlier in the scene.

to:

* StopBeingStereotypical: In "Size Matters", Sally gets mad when Howard, a gay friend (whom Jane believes to be her boyfriend) agrees with Jeff's bizarre eccentric views on the advantages of homosexuality, and exclaims [[HypocriticalHumor "That's homophobic, you stupid queen!"]] In fairness, the alluded view on homosexuality was Jeff suggesting that: (paraphrased) "Sex is easier for gay men, because all of the masturbating men do in their lives turns out to be practice. All the while they have a 'practice kit' for the real thing, but straight men don't get any practice women". While this certainly IS a somewhat bizarre view, its perhaps not as offensive as it seems without details (and he certainly wouldn't be the first person to say something to that effect.) It's also worth noting that this was supposed to be a drunken conversation, after a dozen pints very late in the evening and both of the guys are visibly drunk acting. Howard may well have just been winding Sally up anyway, because she got really snarky about him being a Tory earlier in the scene.



%% * ThreeIsCompany



%% * ThrowTheDogABone: see Crowning Moment of Funny
%% * TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked".

to:

%% * ThrowTheDogABone: see Crowning Moment Jeff finally getting a girlfriend in Julia (averting MinorFlawMajorBreakup after their first date is a disaster), which even manages to avert ShippingBedDeath by mining the comedy of Funny
%%
this poor woman having to manage a relationship with ''Jeff''.
* TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked"."Naked". We even see their respective {{Imagine Spot}}s of the terrible things they thought would happen [[AlmostKiss if they kissed]] in the stationary cupboard.



* UnexplainedAccent: Richard Coyle (Jeff) doesn't have a Welsh accent, and he was never asked to do one for the show. His mother has a very RP English accent, though we never meet his father. According to Steve Moffat in one of the commentaries, Coyle simply showed up on set doing the accent, and since he wasn't a well known actor no-one noticed for ages until they got to know him better, by which point the first episode had been filmed and there was nothing they could do. Most likely RuleOfFunny - while it's pretty authentic and so isn't really a 'comedy accent', there is no denying it gives a certain something to Jeff's bizarre sexual metaphors.

to:

* UnexplainedAccent: Richard Coyle (Jeff) doesn't have a Welsh accent, and he was never asked to do one for the show. His Jeff's mother has a very RP English accent, though we never meet his father. According to Steve Moffat in one of the commentaries, Coyle simply showed up on set doing the accent, and since he wasn't a well known actor no-one noticed for ages until they got to know him better, by which point the first episode had been filmed and there was nothing they could do. Most likely RuleOfFunny - while it's pretty authentic and so isn't really a 'comedy accent', there is no denying it gives a certain something to Jeff's bizarre sexual metaphors.


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* WifeBasherBasher: Julia's soldier ex doesn't like men who hurt women, which creates a problem when he walks in on her and Jeff's bondage-session-gone-innocently-awry and [[AbuseMistake mistakes it for something else]].
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
It's not much like Inspector Morse, Rosie and Jim, or the Six O'clock News, either.


The series was notable for its meticulously-crafted plots, revolving around lies and misunderstandings in the FawltyTowersPlot and ThreeIsCompany veins, and hilarious cases of DiggingYourselfDeeper. Each episode was very detailed and expansive on matters such as impotence, masturbation, pornography and lesbianism. It's different to other 'traditional' British comedy and certainly isn't anything like ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'' or ''Series/FatherTed''.

to:

The series was notable for its meticulously-crafted plots, revolving around lies and misunderstandings in the FawltyTowersPlot and ThreeIsCompany veins, and hilarious cases of DiggingYourselfDeeper. Each episode was very detailed and expansive on matters such as impotence, masturbation, pornography and lesbianism. It's different to other 'traditional' British comedy and certainly isn't anything like ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'' or ''Series/FatherTed''.\n
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'''Sally:''' My bottom is not expanding space jelly! I'm just big-boned! (''shows Steve her breasts'')\\
'''Steve:''' Oh, great! Now I've got breasts!\\

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'''Sally:''' My bottom is not expanding space jelly! I'm just big-boned! (''shows (''the towel she is wearing slips, showing Steve her breasts'')\\
'''Steve:''' Oh, great! Now I've got breasts!\\breasts!



'''Sally''': How did you get to the party, then?\\

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'''Sally''': ---->'''Sally''': How did you get to the party, then?\\



'''Sally''': How did you get to the party, then?\\

to:

'''Sally''': ---->'''Sally''': How did you get to the party, then?\\

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Mass fixing indentation and fleshing out a few ZCEs. Also, it's tidier to just put a note about all the ZCEs on the page at the top rather than next to each individual one.


%%
%%
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample entries are not allowed on wiki pages. All such entries have been commented out. Do not uncomment them without expanding them to explain how these tropes apply.
%%
%%



It had a US remake that lasted for only four episodes in the U.S.(though ironically the season of 13 episodes was broadcast in the U.K.). (The Greek version ran for a whole series.)

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It had a US remake that lasted for only four episodes in the U.S. (though ironically the season of 13 episodes was broadcast in the U.K.). (The Greek version ran for a whole series.)



* AbortedArc: Jeff and Jane were implied to have an interest in each other at the end of series 3, but Richard Coyle left the show and this was never mentioned again.
** This was, however, salvaged for [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute Oliver]] in the fourth series.

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* AbortedArc: Jeff and Jane were implied to have an interest in each other at the end of series 3, but Richard Coyle left the show and this was never mentioned again.
**
again. This was, however, salvaged for [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute Oliver]] in the fourth series.



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * AttentionWhore: Jane.

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%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * AttentionWhore: Jane.



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * BabiesEverAfter: [[spoiler:Steve and Susan.]]

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%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * BabiesEverAfter: The series ends with the birth of [[spoiler:Steve and Susan.]]Susan]]'s child.



--> '''Jane:''' Where are we going wrong? Are we supposed to hang around bars, shag every man in sight, get ourselves pregnant and then trap some poor loser into a lifetime of misery and heartbreak?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jane:''' Where are we going wrong? Are we supposed to hang around bars, shag every man in sight, get ourselves pregnant and then trap some poor loser into a lifetime of misery and heartbreak?\\



--> "We never really got 'round to organizing a wedding. Thought maybe a whole human being would be easier."

to:

--> ---> "We never really got 'round to organizing a wedding. Thought maybe a whole human being would be easier."



--> '''Susan''': Jeff, Jeff! Listen to me! Women want someone with command, with confidence, someone who won't take no for an answer. We want somebody arrogant and gorgeous with a terrifying sexual appetite and an amazing range of sexual technique. But when it comes right down to it, d'you know what? We'll settle for a man!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan''': Jeff, Jeff! Listen to me! Women want someone with command, with confidence, someone who won't take no for an answer. We want somebody arrogant and gorgeous with a terrifying sexual appetite and an amazing range of sexual technique. But when it comes right down to it, d'you know what? We'll settle for a man!\\



--> '''Sally:''' What am I doing?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Sally:''' What am I doing?\\



--> '''Jane:''' Oh, it's pretty easy to get a response out of Steve as long as you hit the right notes. It's like... snake-charming.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jane:''' Oh, it's pretty easy to get a response out of Steve as long as you hit the right notes. It's like... snake-charming.\\



* BiTheWay: Jane mentions early in the show that she's bisexual, and mentions it often, but Susan thinks [[BaitAndSwitchLesbians she isn't bisexual at all]]. At one point in "Size Matters" she claims that being bi means she can go out with gay men, and simply won't believe the gay man in question when he tries to [[IncrediblyLamePun put her straight]]. However, in the episode "Nine and a Half Minutes", when Susan snogs her in order to turn on Steve, Jane is very obviously affected by it.
** Later in the series though, in the episode "The Naked Living Room", Oliver points out to Jane how these claims are all part of her tendency to [[AttentionWhore do anything to get attention]]. When she denies it, [[SubvertedTrope he shows her a foldout from a lads mag and she squeals and turns away in horror]].
*** Played straight in the U.S. version, in one episode it's strongly implied that Jane slept with weather girl Connie.

to:

* BiTheWay: BiTheWay:
**
Jane mentions early in the show that she's bisexual, and mentions it often, but Susan thinks [[BaitAndSwitchLesbians she isn't bisexual at all]]. At one point in "Size Matters" she claims that being bi means she can go out with gay men, and simply won't believe the gay man in question when he tries to [[IncrediblyLamePun put her straight]]. However, in the episode "Nine and a Half Minutes", when Susan snogs her in order to turn on Steve, Jane is very obviously affected by it.
**
it. Later in the series though, in the episode "The Naked Living Room", Oliver points out to Jane how these claims are all part of her tendency to [[AttentionWhore do anything to get attention]]. When she denies it, [[SubvertedTrope he shows her a foldout from a lads mag and she squeals and turns away in horror]].
*** ** Played straight in the U.S. version, in one episode it's strongly implied that Jane slept with weather girl Connie.



--> '''Susan:''' So is it absolutely necessary to think about somebody else?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' So is it absolutely necessary to think about somebody else?\\



--> '''Susan:''' I'm sorry.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' I'm sorry.\\



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TheCasanova: Patrick.

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%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TheCasanova: Patrick.Patrick is unashamed about his "love 'em and leave 'em" approach to women. Once he has succeeded in getting a woman into bed, he invents whatever excuse he can to get out of the relationship so that he can move on to his next conquest. Steve and Jeff note that he almost never refers to his latest partner as his "girlfriend" as a result, as it implies a level of emotional attachment he rarely forms.



* CerebusSyndrome: Started rearing its head in series 3 with the increasing Patrick/Sally tension, but became more noticeable after Jeff left.

to:

* CerebusSyndrome: CerebusSyndrome:
**
Started rearing its head in series 3 with the increasing Patrick/Sally tension, but became more noticeable after Jeff left.



--> '''Jill:''' How could you possibly enjoy a film like that?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jill:''' How could you possibly enjoy a film like that?\\



--> '''Susan:''' Okay. You know what's really getting me mad? My boyfriend, my fiancé, the man who, against all my better judgment, I actually love, chatted up a woman in a bar. And on the very same day, ''the very same day'', I chatted up a man. Do you see? Do you get it? I'm equally at fault. How can I ever forgive him for that? Well, of course, I'm not going to forgive him, because men, and I don't mean to generalize, are crap! They're the human race's only failed gender! Who needs them? And why are they so difficult to keep hold of? Do you think they realize, that were it not for the genetic imperative to populate the earth, they wouldn't get a date? That's one hell of an inducement: "No pressure, girls, but shag one of these or it's curtains for all humankind!" That's harassment! But you know what? Do you know what's even more crap than men? ''We'' are more crap than men! All those stupid books you guys have, and... and these magazines! A hundred pages of "men are useless bastards" and an article about why you should wake him up with a blowjob! Am I alone in spotting the inconsistency here? And these places! (''referring to the salon'') Because, for God's sake, don't let them see what we really look like! Just let them enjoy the results, don't let them see how it all happens!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' Okay. You know what's really getting me mad? My boyfriend, my fiancé, the man who, against all my better judgment, I actually love, chatted up a woman in a bar. And on the very same day, ''the very same day'', I chatted up a man. Do you see? Do you get it? I'm equally at fault. How can I ever forgive him for that? Well, of course, I'm not going to forgive him, because men, and I don't mean to generalize, are crap! They're the human race's only failed gender! Who needs them? And why are they so difficult to keep hold of? Do you think they realize, that were it not for the genetic imperative to populate the earth, they wouldn't get a date? That's one hell of an inducement: "No pressure, girls, but shag one of these or it's curtains for all humankind!" That's harassment! But you know what? Do you know what's even more crap than men? ''We'' are more crap than men! All those stupid books you guys have, and... and these magazines! A hundred pages of "men are useless bastards" and an article about why you should wake him up with a blowjob! Am I alone in spotting the inconsistency here? And these places! (''referring to the salon'') Because, for God's sake, don't let them see what we really look like! Just let them enjoy the results, don't let them see how it all happens!\\



--> '''Jeff:''' What's wrong?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jeff:''' What's wrong?\\



--> '''Jeff:''' I am a prison for sperms. Those poor little tadpoles have been sentenced to life in Jeff Murdock's groin. And let me tell you, that can be a pretty lonely place.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jeff:''' I am a prison for sperms. Those poor little tadpoles have been sentenced to life in Jeff Murdock's groin. And let me tell you, that can be a pretty lonely place.\\



--> '''Sally:''' Facial - Wednesday evening.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Sally:''' Facial - Wednesday evening.\\



--> '''Sally:''' I bet she doesn't lie on her back and fill her armpits. Hah!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Sally:''' I bet she doesn't lie on her back and fill her armpits. Hah!\\



--> '''Susan:''' When I say "dinner", I mean dinner.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' When I say "dinner", I mean dinner.\\



--> '''Susan:''' (''noticing the wedding invitation'') What's that?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' (''noticing the wedding invitation'') What's that?\\



--> '''Jane:''' So what's the guy like?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jane:''' So what's the guy like?\\



--> '''Steve:''' Okay. Anyone want another drink?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Steve:''' Okay. Anyone want another drink?\\



-->'''Jane:''' I do not say "penis" when I mean penis! I mean, penis! Penis, car, penis, car...

to:

-->'''Jane:''' --->'''Jane:''' I do not say "penis" when I mean penis! I mean, penis! Penis, car, penis, car...



--> '''Susan:''' Told you I could fix anything with one snog.

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' Told you I could fix anything with one snog.



* HiddenDepths: [[spoiler:Jane. Compared to Susan she's still pretty shallow but she's actually [[CloudCuckooLander less insane]] and more sensitive to others' feelings than she appears to be. She is, however, still an AttentionWhore.]]

to:

* HiddenDepths: HiddenDepths:
**
[[spoiler:Jane. Compared to Susan she's still pretty shallow but she's actually [[CloudCuckooLander less insane]] and more sensitive to others' feelings than she appears to be. She is, however, still an AttentionWhore.]]



* IAmSpartacus: From "The End of the Line": "I'm Giselle!"
** "In that case, ''I'm'' Dick Darlington!"

to:

* IAmSpartacus: From "The End of the Line": "I'm Giselle!"
**
Giselle!" "In that case, ''I'm'' Dick Darlington!"



--> '''Susan:''' Go!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' Go!\\



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * LeftHanging: The finale of season 2.
* LifeEmbellished: Moffat calls the series "my life as told by a drunk".
** In a specific example, he says that he wrote "Inferno" based on a similar situation where he was caught with porn in his VCR; however, he admits to adding the "spanking" part because it made the whole things just a little more twisted.
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * LivingInAFurnitureStore: Averted so many times by RuleOfFunny.
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TheLoinsSleepTonight: The [[AnthropomorphicPersonification Melty Man]].

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * LeftHanging: The finale of season 2.
2 ends with Susan discovering that Steve gave his number to another woman he met in a bar and breaking up with him as a result; Steve chases after her to try to make amends. Cue end credits.
* LifeEmbellished: Moffat calls the series "my life as told by a drunk".
**
drunk". In a specific example, he says that he wrote "Inferno" based on a similar situation where he was caught with porn in his VCR; however, he admits to adding the "spanking" part because it made the whole things thing just a little more twisted.
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * LivingInAFurnitureStore: Averted so many times by RuleOfFunny.
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TheLoinsSleepTonight: The As personified by the [[AnthropomorphicPersonification Melty Man]].Man]], whom Steve and Jeff explain to Patrick after he and Sally first attempt to sleep together, only for Patrick to have a "failure" for what he claims is the first time ever.



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * MenCantKeepHouse

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * MenCantKeepHouse



--> '''Steve:''' This pause is just expanding and expanding like, this out-of-control... ''thing!''\\

to:

--> ---> '''Steve:''' This pause is just expanding and expanding like, this out-of-control... ''thing!''\\



--> '''Steve:''' Well, if music be the food of love, then masturbation is just a snack between meals!

to:

--> ---> '''Steve:''' Well, if music be the food of love, then masturbation is just a snack between meals!



--> '''Steve:''' You keep bringing it up! I can't get it out of my head... it's expanding!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Steve:''' You keep bringing it up! I can't get it out of my head... it's expanding!\\



--> '''Sally:''' As Susan's best friend, I am, to you, a bit like Australia.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Sally:''' As Susan's best friend, I am, to you, a bit like Australia.\\



--> '''Patrick:''' Thing is, Ivan, I don't share my woman. It's like finding the right tennis racket. Once you've got one you really like using, you keep on using it until it falls apart and you have to get a new one... only more emotional.

to:

--> ---> '''Patrick:''' Thing is, Ivan, I don't share my woman. It's like finding the right tennis racket. Once you've got one you really like using, you keep on using it until it falls apart and you have to get a new one... only more emotional.



--> '''Susan:''' It just seems like a needy thing to do. I don't do needy.\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' It just seems like a needy thing to do. I don't do needy.\\



* MistakenForGay: Sally, by Patrick's girlfriend, probably because Patrick told her "that Sally is the sort of woman who...is a lesbian." She is oblivious to this, however, and it leads to a wacky misunderstanding, of course. See OneDialogueTwoConversations.

to:

* MistakenForGay: MistakenForGay:
**
Sally, by Patrick's girlfriend, probably because Patrick told her "that Sally is the sort of woman who...is a lesbian." She is oblivious to this, however, and it leads to a wacky misunderstanding, of course. See OneDialogueTwoConversations.



* NiceMeanAndInbetween:
** Jane and Jeff are nice. While Jeff is a socially inept {{Cloudcuckoolander}} and Jane is an eccentric AttentionWhore, both are actually very sweet and typically kind if a bit blunt. Hapless nerd Oliver also eventually falls into this category.
** Sally and Patrick are mean. Patrick is often oafish and rude, treats women like playthings, and has ''very'' low emotional intelligence, while Sally is incredibly catty and superficial and snaps at people at the slightest provocation.
** Steve and Susan are in between. Steve has his moments of surly, aggressive behavior and Susan can be an emotionally manipulative control freak, but both are capable, grounded people who care about their friends and are committed to making their relationship work.



*** ''Inferno''
*** ''Faithless''

to:

*** ''Inferno''
"Inferno"
*** ''Faithless''"Faithless"



--> '''Sally:''' This isn't fair! I was gonna have Patrick!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Sally:''' This isn't fair! I was gonna have Patrick!\\



--> '''Jeff:''' Did she ask? You know, ask...\\

to:

--> ---> '''Jeff:''' Did she ask? You know, ask...\\



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * PlugNPlayFriends: Oliver.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * PlugNPlayFriends: Oliver.



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * SadistShow: And how!

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * SadistShow: And how!



** Steve Taylor almost shares a name with Steven Taylor, a companion on ''Series/DoctorWho''. Oliver also has ''Doctor Who'' merchandise in his bookshop, and when going to a dinner with the gang in "Bed Time", wears a sweater reading "Bring Back Doctor Who" on the back.
*** Which became hilarious in hindsight after Creator/StevenMoffat started working for the Series/DoctorWho TV series (although he was already involved in its ExpandedUniverse) and eventually became its ShowRunner.

to:

** Steve Taylor almost shares a name with Steven Taylor, a companion on ''Series/DoctorWho''. Oliver also has ''Doctor Who'' merchandise in his bookshop, and when going to a dinner with the gang in "Bed Time", wears a sweater reading "Bring Back Doctor Who" on the back.
***
back. Which became hilarious in hindsight after Creator/StevenMoffat started working for the Series/DoctorWho TV series (although he was already involved in its ExpandedUniverse) and eventually became its ShowRunner.



-->'''Steve''': But Susan, Sally, Jane, this... is a sofa. It is designed by clever scientists in such a way so is to shield the unprotected user from the way of skin abrasions, serious head trauma, and of course - [he collapses behind the sofa and reemerges] - [[Series/DoctorWho Daleks!]]

to:

-->'''Steve''': --->'''Steve''': But Susan, Sally, Jane, this... is a sofa. It is designed by clever scientists in such a way so is to shield the unprotected user from the way of skin abrasions, serious head trauma, and of course - [he collapses behind the sofa and reemerges] - [[Series/DoctorWho Daleks!]]



--> '''Patrick:''' Melty Man!\\

to:

--> ---> '''Patrick:''' Melty Man!\\



* StopBeingStereotypical: In "Size Matters", Sally gets mad when Howard, a gay friend (whom Jane believes to be her boyfriend) agrees with Jeff's bizarre views on homosexuality, and exclaims [[HypocriticalHumor "That's homophobic, you stupid queen!"]]
** In fairness, the above alluded view on homosexuality was Jeff suggesting that: (paraphrased) "Sex is easier for gay men, because all of the masturbating men do in their lives turns out to be practice. All the while they have a 'practice kit' for the real thing, but straight men don't get any practice women". While this certainly IS a somewhat bizarre view, its perhaps not as offensive as it seems without details (and he certainly wouldn't be the first person to say something to that effect.) It's also worth noting that this was supposed to be a drunken conversation, after a dozen pints very late in the evening and both of the guys are visibly drunk acting. Howard may well have been winding Sally up anyway, because she got really snarky about him being a Tory earlier in the scene.

to:

* StopBeingStereotypical: In "Size Matters", Sally gets mad when Howard, a gay friend (whom Jane believes to be her boyfriend) agrees with Jeff's bizarre views on homosexuality, and exclaims [[HypocriticalHumor "That's homophobic, you stupid queen!"]]
**
queen!"]] In fairness, the above alluded view on homosexuality was Jeff suggesting that: (paraphrased) "Sex is easier for gay men, because all of the masturbating men do in their lives turns out to be practice. All the while they have a 'practice kit' for the real thing, but straight men don't get any practice women". While this certainly IS a somewhat bizarre view, its perhaps not as offensive as it seems without details (and he certainly wouldn't be the first person to say something to that effect.) It's also worth noting that this was supposed to be a drunken conversation, after a dozen pints very late in the evening and both of the guys are visibly drunk acting. Howard may well have been winding Sally up anyway, because she got really snarky about him being a Tory earlier in the scene.



--> '''Steve:''' I don't know, Patrick - I don't keep some sort of self-abuse diary.
--> '''Jeff:''' ''Well, neither do I.''

to:

--> ---> '''Steve:''' I don't know, Patrick - I don't keep some sort of self-abuse diary.
--> ---> '''Jeff:''' ''Well, neither do I.''



-->'''Susan:''' How exactly did you pass your driving test?\\

to:

-->'''Susan:''' --->'''Susan:''' How exactly did you pass your driving test?\\



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Oliver replaced Jeff.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Oliver Jeff is completely socially inept, especially around women. When Richard Coyle left the series, he was replaced Jeff.by Oliver... who is completely socially inept, especially around women.



--> '''Susan:''' God! What is it with you lot? Why do you all have this desperate desire to see me naked?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' God! What is it with you lot? Why do you all have this desperate desire to see me naked?\\



--> '''Susan:''' Okay. So Steve saw your bottom, so what?\\

to:

--> ---> '''Susan:''' Okay. So Steve saw your bottom, so what?\\



-->'''Susan:''' Well, there's a useful clue!

to:

-->'''Susan:''' --->'''Susan:''' Well, there's a useful clue!



%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThreeIsCompany
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThreeWaySex
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThrowTheDogABone: see Crowning Moment of Funny
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked".

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThreeIsCompany
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThreeWaySex
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThrowTheDogABone: see Crowning Moment of Funny
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked".



* UnusualEuphemism: Jeff has one for everything sex-related. In the first episode ("Flushed") he introduces "The Boyfriend Zone"[[note]]the stage of a relationship where the man is entitled to certain sexual favors from the woman[[/note]] and "Unflushable"[[note]]a person who just can't seem to be dumped[[/note]] in the opening five minutes.
** There's also the Sock Gap[[note]]the point where a man who's undressing has to deal with removing his socks lest he end up naked except for them[[/note]], the Nudity Buffer[[note]]the time period between seeing a woman for the first time and getting stuck with the mental image of them naked[[/note]] and the (non-sex-related) Giggle Loop[[note]]a thought during a mandated silence where you contemplate the awkwardness of you laughing in the midst of the silence, and every time you suppress that thought, the laugh you're holding back gets bigger and bigger[[/note]].

to:

* UnusualEuphemism: UnusualEuphemism:
**
Jeff has one for everything sex-related. In the first episode ("Flushed") he introduces "The Boyfriend Zone"[[note]]the stage of a relationship where the man is entitled to certain sexual favors from the woman[[/note]] and "Unflushable"[[note]]a person who just can't seem to be dumped[[/note]] in the opening five minutes.
**
minutes. There's also the Sock Gap[[note]]the point where a man who's undressing has to deal with removing his socks lest he end up naked except for them[[/note]], the Nudity Buffer[[note]]the time period between seeing a woman for the first time and getting stuck with the mental image of them naked[[/note]] and the (non-sex-related) Giggle Loop[[note]]a thought during a mandated silence where you contemplate the awkwardness of you laughing in the midst of the silence, and every time you suppress that thought, the laugh you're holding back gets bigger and bigger[[/note]].



* YourLittleDismissiveDiminutive: Sally has a tendency to use this a lot.

to:

* YourLittleDismissiveDiminutive: YourLittleDismissiveDiminutive:
**
Sally has a tendency to use this a lot.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

Added DiffLines:

* CrossReferencedTitles: Stephen Moffat is rather fond of this trope, hence...
** "The Girl With Two Breasts", "The Man With Two Legs" and "The Girl With One Heart".
** Two consecutive episodes titled "Naked" and "Dressed".
** The final series begins with "9 And A Half Minutes" and ends with "9 And A Half Months".
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


* DepthDeception: Jeff being dragged up to the [[CrowningMomentOfFunny miniature]] [[GroinAttack guillotine]].

to:

* DepthDeception: Jeff being dragged up to the [[CrowningMomentOfFunny [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments miniature]] [[GroinAttack guillotine]].

Added: 169

Changed: 432

Removed: 107

Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Not a trope.


* AttentionWhore: Jane.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * AttentionWhore: Jane.



* BabiesEverAfter: [[spoiler:Steve and Susan.]]

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * BabiesEverAfter: [[spoiler:Steve and Susan.]]



--> '''Patrick:''' I can explain. Yes, I did

to:

--> '''Patrick:''' I can explain. Yes, I diddid.



* TheCasanova: Patrick.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TheCasanova: Patrick.



* UsefulNotes/{{Chicago}}: The setting of the U.S. version.



* ClusterFBomb: Sally's reaction to [[spoiler: discovering Patrick's engagement ring]] in the series finale.

to:

* ClusterFBomb: Sally's reaction to [[spoiler: discovering [[spoiler:discovering Patrick's engagement ring]] in the series finale.



* IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming: There were several episodes titled "The [Man/Girl] With [X] [Body part]"

to:

* IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming: There were several episodes titled "The [Man/Girl] With [X] [Body part]"part]", such as:
** "The Girl With Two Breasts"
** "Her Best Friend's Bottom"



* LeftHanging: The finale of season 2.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * LeftHanging: The finale of season 2.



* LivingInAFurnitureStore: Averted so many times by RuleOfFunny.
* TheLoinsSleepTonight: The [[AnthropomorphicPersonification Melty Man]].

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * LivingInAFurnitureStore: Averted so many times by RuleOfFunny.
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TheLoinsSleepTonight: The [[AnthropomorphicPersonification Melty Man]].



* MenCantKeepHouse

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * MenCantKeepHouse



* {{Metaphorgotten}}: Some of the humorous bits of the show are of this nature.

to:

* {{Metaphorgotten}}: Some of the humorous bits of the show are of this nature.nature:



* OneWordTitle:
** The show itself, about couples becoming couples.
** Episodes:
*** ''Inferno''
*** ''Faithless''



* PlugNPlayFriends: Oliver.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * PlugNPlayFriends: Oliver.



** "Remember This" elaborates on the story of Patrick and Sally's first meeting (and first kiss) at a party in Susan's office.
-->''From Patrick's recollection of the story:''\\

to:

** "Remember This" elaborates on the story of Patrick and Sally's first meeting (and first kiss) at a party in Susan's office.
-->''From
office:
*** ''From
Patrick's recollection of the story:''\\story:''




-->''From Sally's recollection of the story:''\\

to:

\n-->''From *** ''From Sally's recollection of the story:''\\story:''



* SadistShow: And how!

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * SadistShow: And how!



* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Oliver replaced Jeff.

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Oliver replaced Jeff.

Added: 101

Changed: 144

Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None



There are some commented out Administrivia/ZeroContextExamples.



* ThreeIsCompany
* ThreeWaySex
* ThrowTheDogABone: see Crowning Moment of Funny
* TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked".

to:

%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThreeIsCompany
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThreeWaySex
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * ThrowTheDogABone: see Crowning Moment of Funny
%% Administrivia/ZeroContextExample * TwiceShy: Jeff and Julia in "Naked".


Added DiffLines:

* VerbedTitle: The episode, "Flushed."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


--> '''Jeff:''' One day, I lost control in front of my whole family during ''Songs of Praise''!\\

to:

--> '''Jeff:''' One day, I lost control in front of my whole family during ''Songs of Praise''!\\''Series/SongsOfPraise''!\\



'''Steve:''' So you're telling us that as a young child, and despite the obvious electrical dangers, you sexually assaulted the television set? During ''Songs of Praise''?\\

to:

'''Steve:''' So you're telling us that as a young child, and despite the obvious electrical dangers, you sexually assaulted the television set? During ''Songs of Praise''?\\''Series/SongsOfPraise''?\\
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

Added DiffLines:

* BetterAsFriends: Susan and Patrick only saw each other once a week while they were dating, and Susan wasn’t even being faithful. They get along quite famously after separating.


Added DiffLines:

* TheFriendNobodyLikes: Jane, at first.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


-->'''Howard:''' [[MargaretThatcher Maggie Thatcher]], in my opinion...\\

to:

-->'''Howard:''' [[MargaretThatcher [[UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher Maggie Thatcher]], in my opinion...\\
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

Added DiffLines:

* ShamelessFanserviceGirl: When Jane and Oliver finally open up to each other and Jane suggests that they watch some porn, while he's looking for something to watch she announces that she'll go and make tea, and leaves the room. When she returns, she stands in the doorway completely naked, and he is temporarily robbed of the power of comprehension. She talks to him casually for a couple of minutes, inviting him to her flat the following day, and when he's recovered his wits she smirks at him and saunters out to get dressed and go home, saying "You didn't have any nice tea anyway."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
a girl needs a name


* RetargetedLust: A woman doles out (possibly fictitious) stories of her past encounters with women in order to keep her boyfriend interested.

to:

* RetargetedLust: A woman Jane doles out (possibly fictitious) stories of her past encounters with women in order to keep her boyfriend interested.interest men.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


It had a US remake that lasted about four episodes before being chased off the face of the Earth. (The Greek version ran for a whole series.)

to:

It had a US remake that lasted about for only four episodes before being chased off in the face of U.S.(though ironically the Earth.season of 13 episodes was broadcast in the U.K.). (The Greek version ran for a whole series.)

Changed: 112

Removed: 137

Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


* GranolaGirl: Jane.
** It's debatable though in how far this is just another mask she uses to manipulate the people around her.
*** TwoWords: "Bi-Vegetarian".

to:

* GranolaGirl: Jane.
** It's
Jane, though it's debatable though in how far this is just another mask she uses to manipulate the people around her.
*** TwoWords: "Bi-Vegetarian".
her.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Misuse. It\'s Genre Savvy, not just \"savvy\".


* GenreSavvy: Steve is already so familiar with Jeff that in the first episode, the first time the audience ever hears a 'Jeffism', he's appropriately wary of them:
--> ''Is this going to be something disgusting? Am I going to be embarrassed to be your friend?''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None

Added DiffLines:

* RetargetedLust: A woman doles out (possibly fictitious) stories of her past encounters with women in order to keep her boyfriend interested.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None


'''Steve:''' (''exasperated'') Oh, ''because it's got naked women in it!'' Look, I ''like'' naked women! I'm a bloke, we're supposed to like them, we're born like that! We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one! Halfway down the birth canal, we're already enjoying the view! Look, it is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche; we like: naked women, stockings, lesbians and Sean Connery best as James Bond, because that is what being a boy is! And if you don't like it darling, join a film collective! I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table there (''gestures at Susan'') but that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die! Because that's what being a bloke is! When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook!" He said, "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as Caxton invented the printing press, we were using it to make pictures of, hey, naked bottoms! We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of... naked bottoms! So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I'm not sure how insulted you really ought to be.

to:

'''Steve:''' (''exasperated'') Oh, ''because ''[[CaptainObvious because it's got naked women in it!'' it!]]'' Look, I ''like'' naked women! I'm a bloke, we're supposed to like them, we're born like that! We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one! Halfway down the birth canal, we're already enjoying the view! Look, it is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche; we like: naked women, stockings, lesbians and Sean Connery best as James Bond, because that is what being a boy is! And if you don't like it darling, join a film collective! I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table there (''gestures at Susan'') but that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die! Because that's what being a bloke is! When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook!" He said, "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as Caxton invented the printing press, we were using it to make pictures of, hey, naked bottoms! We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of... naked bottoms! So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I'm not sure how insulted you really ought to be.

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