History SelfDemonstrating / TheWitchfinderGeneral

* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordain'd to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of Jesu Christ art the law of the land? Verily, 'tis that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the papel of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyootay to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]
* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstisious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatrei! Where the papel o' this common-wealth are entois'd to lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlawful gamin', cursin', swearin', the loike! 'Tis wahr to be waged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!

-> [[SigningOffCatchphrase Thou art a wretched sinner, utterly unworthy o' God's love. A fountain o' pollusion is deep within thy nature, and thou livest as a winter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hewn down and burnt. Steep thy loife in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to show mersay on thy carropted soul.]]

-> [[SigningOffCatchphrase Thou art a wretched sinner, utterly unworthy o' God's love. A fountain o' pollusion is deep within thy nature, and thou livest as a winter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hewn down and burnt. Steep thy loife in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to show mersay on thy corrupted soul.]]

* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstisious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatrei! Where the papel o' this common-wealth are entoic'd to lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlawful gamin', cursin', swearin', the like! 'Tis war to be waged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!

-> [[SigningOffCatchphrase Thou art a wretched sinner, utterly unworthy o' God's love. A fountain o' pollusion is deep within thy nature, and thou livest as a winter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hewn down and burnt. Steep thy loife in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to show mercy on thy corrupted soul.]]

* DeliberateValuesDissonance: The papel of these colenais are enamoured by the falseties of scarlet women and Papist warlards that [[DemocracyIsBad prefer the wiles of common-folk vuln'rable to the lure of greed and lust than the Christian decree of the King]].
* DisproportionateRetribution: If thy son is disobedient or thy daughter is engaged in the lustful [[OldTimeyAnkleTaboo bare-ankled]] whoiles of Devilrei, thou art to lay hold on them and deliver them to the magistrates assembled in the court of the shire in which ye dwell. There testify to them that they art unworthy of God's love, and if their judgement to the court sees fit, thy kin shall be put to instant death.
* EveryoneHasStandards: While the pox is a carse upon the people by the All'Moighty God, our ever merciful Lord has seen fit to grant us with the gift of intelligence, and such measures as inoculasion and other farms of physic are not Devilrei. At least, by good English Christian folk. Let the French and Indians fend for themselves.
* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of Jesu Christ art the law of the land? Verily, 'tis that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the papel of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyootay to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]
* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! Where the people of this common-wealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlawful gamin', cursin', swearin', the like! 'Tis war to be waged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: Nay, 'tis any who insult and defile the good and holy name of the sacriture with their papist Devilrei, Quaker-tricks, Indian-savagrai and womanly whiles at hwhich art the true villains in these sinful toimes!
* TheWitchHunter: Witches who took council away from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag who shant resoite the Commandments or have the witches' mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.

-> [[SigningOffCatchphrase Thou art a wretched sinner, utterly unworthy of God's love. A fountain of pollution is deep within thy nature, and thou livest as a winter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hewn down and burnt. Steep thy life in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to show mercy on thy corrupted soul.]]

* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of Jesu Christ art the law of the land? Verily, 'tis that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the papel of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]

* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of Jesu Christ art the law of the land? Verily, it is that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the papel of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]

* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of Jesu Christ art the law of the land? Verily, it be that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the papel of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]

* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: Nay', tis any who insult and defile the good and holy name of the sacriture with their papist Devilrei, Quaker-tricks, Indian-savagrai and womanly whiles at hwhich art the true villains in these sinful toimes!

''(THE '''[[gold:VVITCHFINDER GENERAL]]''' Provideth a '''[[gold:SELF-VVRITTEN TREATISE]]''' of his Perſon on this Sinfull Pamphlet of '''[[gold:T.V. TROPES]]''' Together vvith '''[[gold:REAL PURITAN LAVVS & HISTORIE]]''' From the Colonies of '''[[gold:NEVVE-ENGLAND]]''')''

Save that [[{{Leitmotif}} introducsion music]]. Music is sinful. The rest of the toime vvill be spent in soilent contemplasion of the Sovereign of Our Lord.

[[WebVideo/TheWitchfinderGeneral Oi am the VVitchfinder General of the Colenai of Massachusetts Bay.]]

Today oi shall be in close stoudy of this foul false pretender in the shadovv of the Holy Boible, this vvretched sinner-vvritten festival of unholy loight that the vvitches name "Tay-Vay Tropes", which boi its own admissyun [[JustForFun/TvTropesWillRuinYourLife professes to have laid ruin to the loives a' many of the godly papel of this Common-VVealth]].

* AntiquatedLinguistics: The papel of these colenais claim that they art "English", vvith the accent of the English. Yet they spake queerly in nothing but tongues, curséd words of the Devil!
* DeliberateValuesDissonance: The papel of these colenais are enamoured by the falseties of scarlet vvomen and Papist vvarlards that [[DemocracyIsBad prefer the vviles of common-folk vuln'rable to the lure of greed and lust than the Christian decree of the King]].
* DisproportionateRetribution: If thy son is disobedient or thy daughter is engaged in the lustful [[OldTimeyAnkleTaboo bare-ankled]] vvhoiles of Devilrei, thou art to lay hold on them and deliver them to the magistrates assembled in the court of the shire in vvhich ye dvvell. There testify to them that they art unvvorthy of God's love, and if their judgement to the court sees fit, thy kin shall be put to instant death.
* EveryoneHasStandards: [=VVhile=] the pox is a carse upon the people by the All'Moighty God, our ever merciful Lord has seen fit to grant us with the gift of intelligence, and such measures as inoculasion and other farms of physic are not Devilrei. At least, by good English Christian folk. Let the French and Indians fend for themselves.
* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, vvhy hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hvvhich the word of Jesu Christ art the lavv of the land? Verily, it be that these toimes are in hvvhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the papel of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute vvord!]]
* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! [=VVhere=] the people of this common-vvealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlavvful gamin', cursin', svvearin', the like! 'Tis vvar to be vvaged against this Black Sabbath and the true follovvers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: Nay', tis any vvho insult and defile the good and holy name of the sacriture with their papist Devilrei, Quaker-tricks, Indian-savagrai and vvomanly vvhiles at hvvhich art the true villains in these sinful toimes!
* TheWitchHunter: [=VVitches=] vvho took council avvay from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag vvho shant resoite the Commandments or have the vvitches' mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.
* WouldHurtAChild: None vvho engage in hvvitchcraft may live, nay, not e'en children, for they are capable of enough reason to practice the black arts!

-> [[SigningOffCatchphrase Thou art a vvretched sinner, utterly unvvorthy of God's love. A fountain of pollution is deep vvithin thy nature, and thou livest as a vvinter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hevvn dovvn and burnt. Steep thy life in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to shovv mercy on thy corrupted soul.]]

* WouldHurtAChild: None who engage in hvvitchcraft may live, nay, not e'en children, for they are capable of enough reason to practice the black arts!

* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! VVhere the people of this common-vvealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlavvful gamin', cursin', svvearin', the like! 'Tis vvar to be vvaged against this Black Sabbath and the true follovvers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!

* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! VVhere the people of this common-vvealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlavvful gamin', cursin', swearin', the like! 'Tis vvar to be vvaged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!

* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! Where the people of this common-vvealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlawful gamin', cursin', swearin', the like! Tis' war to be waged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: Nay', tis any who insult and defile the good and holy name of the sacriture with their papist Devilrei, Quaker-tricks, Indian-savagrai and vvomanly vvhiles at which art the true villains in this sinful toimes!

* TheWitchHunter: [=VVitches=] who took council avvay from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag vvho shant resoite the Commandments or have the vvitches' mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.

* TheWitchHunter: [=VVitches=] who took council avvay from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag who shant resoite the Commandments or have the vvitches' mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.

* EveryoneHasStandards: VVhile the pox is a carse upon the people by the All'Moighty God, our ever merciful Lord has seen fit to grant us with the gift of intelligence, and such measures as inoculasion and other farms of physic are not Devilrei. At least, by good English Christian folk. Let the French and Indians fend for themselves.

* TheWitchHunter: VVitches who took council avvay from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag who shant resoite the Commandments or have the vvitches' mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.

Today oi shall be in close stoudy of this foul false pretender in the shadovv of the Holy Boible, this vvretched sinner-vvritten festival of unholy loight that the vvitches name "Tay-Vay Tropes", which boi its own admissyun [[JustForFun/TvTropesWillRuinYourLife professes to have laid ruin to the loives a' many of the godly papel of this Common-vvealth]].

* AntiquatedLinguistics: The papel of these colenais claim that they art "English", with the accent of the English. Yet they spake queerly in nothing but tongues, curséd words of the Devil!

Save that [[{{Leitmotif}} introducsion music]]. Music is sinful. The rest of the toime will be spent in soilent contemplasion of the Sovereign of Our Lord.

[[WebVideo/TheWitchfinderGeneral Oi am the Witchfinder General of the Colenai of Massachusetts Bay.]]

Today oi shall be in close stoudy of this foul false pretender in the shadow of the Holy Boible, this wretched sinner-written festival of unholy loight that the witches name "Tay-Vay Tropes", which boi its own admissyun [[JustForFun/TvTropesWillRuinYourLife professes to have laid ruin to the loives a' many of the godly papel of this Commonwealth]].

!! Moi soul is moine to keep and it's best yeh banish my name from yer Book of Loies should the loight of Our Lord gouides my hand against yeh!

* DeliberateValuesDissonance: The papel of these colenais are enamoured by the falseties of scarlet women and Papist warlards that [[DemocracyIsBad prefer the wiles of common-folk vuln'rable to the lure of greed and lust than the Christian decree of the King]].
* DisproportionateRetribution: If yer son is disobedient or yer daughter is engaged in the lustful [[OldTimeyAnkleTaboo bare-ankled]] whoiles of Devilrei, you are to lay hold on them and deliver then to the magistrates assembled in the court of the shire in which yeh dwell. There testify to them that they art unworthy of God's love, and if their judgement to the court sees fit, thy kin shall be put to instant death.
* EveryoneHasStandards: While the pox is a carse upon the people by the All'Moighty God, our ever merciful Lord has seen fit to grant us with the gift of intelligence, and such measures as inoculatsion and other farms of physic are not Devilrei. At least, by good English Christian folk. Let the French and Indians fend for themselves.
* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of Jesu Christ art the law of the land? Verily, it be that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the paeple of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]
* TheGrinch: Christ'Mass is a most vile and profane and superstitious custom! A carnival of residual papist idolatry! Where the people of this common-wealth are entoist to a lasiviousness, idleness, drunkenness, gluttony, unlawful gamin', cursin', swearin', the like! Tis' war to be waged against this Black Sabbath and the true followers of Our Lord Chroist All'Moighty!
* PoliticallyIncorrectVillain: Nay', tis any who insult and defile the good and holy name of the sacriture with their papist Devilrei, Quaker-tricks, Indian-savagrai and womanly whiles at which art the true villains in this sinful toimes!
* TheWitchHunter: Witches who took council away from the Sovereign of Our Lord and to kiss the unkempt bottom of the Devil shall not suffer to live! To foind a hag who shant recoite the Commandments or have the witches mark are to be hanged and denounced as a choild of God All'Moighty.
* WouldHurtAChild: None who engage in hwitchcraft may live, nay, not e'en children, for they are capable of enough reason to practice the black arts!

-> [[SigningOffCatchphrase Thou art a wretched sinner, utterly unworthy of God's love. A fountain of pollution is deep within thou nature and thou livith as a winter tree; unprofitable, fit only to be hewn down and burned. Steep thy life in prayer, and hope that God sees fit to show mercy on thy corrupted soul.]]

''(cue ominous harpsichord music)''

%%[[caption-width-right:350:some caption text]]

''(THE '''[[gold:VVITCHFINDER GENERAL]]''' Provideth a '''[[gold:SELF-VVRITTEN TREATISE]]''' of his Perſon on this Sinfull Pamphlet of '''[[gold:T.V. TROPES]]''' Together vvith '''[[gold:REAL PURITAN LAVVES & HISTORIE]]''' From the Colonies of '''[[gold:NEVVE-ENGLAND]]''')''

''(THE '''[[gold:VVITCHFINDER GENERAL]]''' Provideth a '''[[gold:SELF-VVRITTEN TREATISE]]''' of his Perſon on this Sinfull Pamphlet of '''[[gold:T.V. TROPES]]''' Together vvith '''[[gold:REAL PURITAN LAWS & HISTORIE]]''' From the Colonies of '''[[gold:NEVVE-ENGLAND]]''')''

Today oi shall be in close stoudy of this foul false pretender in the shadow of the Holy Boible, this wretched sinner-written festival of unholy loight that the witches name "Tay-Vay Tropes", which boi its own admision [[JustForFun/TvTropesWillRuinYourLife professes to have laid ruin to the loives a' many of the godly people of this Commonwealth]].

* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of God art the law of the land? Verily, it be that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the paeple of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to His absolute word!]]

Today oi shall be in close stoudy of this foul false pretender in the shadow of the Holy Boible, this wretched sinner-written festival of unholy loight that the witches name "Tay-Vay Tropes".

[[WebVideo/AtunSheiFilms Oi am the Witchfinder General of the Colenai of Massachusetts Bay.]]

* FishOutOfTemporalWater: Thou may be ahsking, why hath the Lord ordained to send me into these sinful and strange toimes instead of my original toime, in hwhich the word of God art the law of the land? Verily, it be that these toimes are in hwhich all of humanitai hath descended into all manner of sin and unholy, Papist behaviors. The Lord hath spoken, oi am the one chosen to show the paeple of these toimes the way of our Lord, for [[KnightTemplar 'tis my dyooty to judge ye who shant listen to the ward of the Lord!]]