History SelfDemonstrating / MiuIruma

%%* ComicallyMissingThePoint: Huh?! Wh-what do you mean, I can't take almost every comment as something sexual?!

** Though, on another note, I have an invention that punches you for telling terrible dirty jokes. When I showed it to Poo-ichi, he complained about its name, so I told him that sometimes I'm too lazy to think of names. I am constantly crankin' out new inventions, so he shouldn't expect me to name 'em all. I mean, I don't expect him to name each of his little dudes after he blasts 'em into a tissue, either. And then, when I said that, my own invention punched me. Still though... that was a good punch...

* MasturbationMeansSexualFrustration: There's this one time Poo-ichi came up to me, and he was looking all grumpy, so I thought he was feeling all plugged up. To help, I gave him a box containing some fap material I made, like those sunglasses which have all these erotic animations installed (and I even included a video of myself as a bonus) and a recording of my moans! I hope he's putting these to good use, 'cuz he can't get anything done if he's always plugged up!

* ParentalSubstitute:

** I... I think I act so loud and obsessed with sex because... I'm loney. M-m-my... my fantasy is... much more vanilla than you might expect, as it's just me havin' a childhood friend and... fallin' for him... because he's stayed by my side no matter what. And, if he did not come into my life, I would prolly be in a gutter or somethin'...

* SlutShaming: Ergh! Slut!? ...what? I-it's not like I secretly enjoy it when people talk shit to me. This is actually one of my kinks!

* HatesBeingAlone: Grgh...! ...s-so what if I don't have any friends!? If anything, I'm relieved to distance myself from plebs like you! Most people don't have what it takes to get on my level anyway... ''[--[sob]--]''

* HarmfulToMinors: Hey! I was gonna tell some sex stories to counteract Cockichi telling ghost stories to these idiots. I tried to explain myself to Kiyotaka by pointing out how kids find these stories interesting. I mean, look at Pinkie! Th-though... hard head's havin' none of it and scolded me anyway...
%%* HatesBeingAlone:

%%* HiddenDepths: ...Okay, sorry. C-can we just talk? Th-this is... where I really... open up.
%%** I... I think I act so loud and obsessed with sex because... I'm [--very loney--]. M-m-my... my fantasy is... much more vanilla than you might expect, as it's just me havin' a childhood friend and... fallin' for him... because he's stayed by my side no matter what. And, if he did not come into my life, I would prolly be in a gutter or somethin'...
%%** Ehehe. Being Monotaro's mom is actually really cute.
%%** After fallin' for Shuichi, I wanted to show him how versatile I am, so I made him a pie, some cookies, and chocolates! Now that I think of it, they even looked very professional, so I guess that also makes me a master chef! I also added in some hidden ingredients; I made that pie with my hair, those cookies with my fingernails, and those chocolates with my blood, because... w-well, I just want the person I like to eat me...
%%** U-umm... I know I may act all kinky, but... I prefer that I be taken out on a date before hittin' the sheets...
* HoistByHisOwnPetard:

[[JustForFun/DescribeTopicHere Describe Miu Iruma, the gorgeous girl genius here, ya virgin!]]

%%* ShrinkingViolet:

* AnimeHair: Everyone knows virgins like you jack off to girls with tentacles like these!

* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Y-you really think that I'm an asshole because I give my classmates nicknames and make fun of virgins like you? Oh, cheer the fuck up! I've actually got a heart of gold that goes along with my golden brain! [-N-not that anyone can see past my act and know the real me... except Keebo. Or maybe Poo-ichi..-]

* ADateWithRosiePalms: Hahaha! You're one to talk, you thirsty lummox! I bet you're using this page for jerk fuel as we speak! I joke about the boys having tug sessions all the time, and sometimes I even encourage them to! I once gave Shuichi a box full of fap material I invented because I thought he was feelin' all plugged up. Also, I have loads of experience in getting myself off.

%%* HiddenDepths: ... D-Don't laugh... okay? Th-this is... where I really... open up.

So [[SelfDemonstrating/KokichiOma Cockichi]]'s got his own page, too!? Him and his fuckin' lies... that grape goblin should just go sit in the corner and play with himself!

* AgentScully: Man, fuck Angie and her Atua crap! It's all just a load of unscientific bullshit! Besides, if there really was a god, he'd clearly pick me, the gorgeous girl genius, as his chosen one instead of that kooky ditch bitch! Also, fuck Himiko and her magic crap too! That titless 'tard really wants people to believe her shitty parlor tricks are anything but a scam!

So [[SelfDemonstrating/KokichiOma the little jackass]] behind the shithouse misery inflicted on me has his own page?! Get my stomping heels. It will be messy but '''SOOOOO''' worth it turning that little turd into the skidmark that he is...

* ChildhoodFriendRomance: You think my fantasy's somethin' super kinky and shit, right? ... [-w-well... my fantasy is actually really vanilla. It's just me havin' a childhood friend and... fallin' in love with him...-] [--[[IJustWantToBeLoved and it makes me feel a little less lonely]]...--]

* CruelAndUnusualDeath: I got strangled to death by that dumb fuck Gonta, in the Virtual World no less. Just when I was about to kill Kokichi and escape the Killing Game, too. How could he fall for that little shit's bull and kill me, of all people?! Was there some kind of error in my program, or Gonta's tiny ass walnut brain?!

* TheFriendNobodyLikes: Despite my golden brain, my gorgeous tits, and my sexy personality, nobody likes me very much...

%%** I... I think I act so loud and obsessed with sex because... I'm [--very loney--]. M-m-my... my fantasy is... much more vanilla than you might expect, as it's just me havin' a childhood friend and...fallin' for him... after he's stayed by my side no matter what.

* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Y-you really think that I'm an asshole because I give my classmates nicknames and make jokes about virgins like you? Oh, cheer the fuck up! I've actually got a heart of gold that goes along with my golden brain! [-N-not that anyone can see past my act and know the real me... except Keebo. Or maybe Poo-ichi..-]

%%** I... I think I act so loud and obsessed with sex because... I'm [--very loney--]]. M-m-my... my fantasy is... much more vanilla than you might expect, as it's just me havin' a childhood friend and...fallin' for him... after he's stayed by my side no matter what.

* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: If my {{Jerkass}} personality gets under your skin, go fuck yourself! Get to know me a little more, and you might see I've got a heart of gold that goes along with my golden brain. [-I-I promise, this is not how I really am... n-not everyone sees past my act and knows the real me... except Keebo. Or maybe Poo-ichi..-]

Cucks, fucks, and those who suck, you're reading the world's sexiest autobiography on "TV Gropes," written by the one, the only, the legendary Ultimate Inventor herself - Miu Iruma! I ain't sparing a single sordid detail!

But if you wanna get a bit more personal, I'm an augmented human. Back in the day, used to be a boring, unremarkable girl with no talent at all. Then, one day, I got into an accident and ended up in a coma. It was real life-and-death type shit. Anyway, I had surgery and barely managed to regain consciousness after that. Since then, I've been chock-full of ideas for inventions! And I had the brains, skills, and physical talent to make those inventions a reality! Now the world can't live without me, my genius, or my smokin' hot body, simple as that! Hyah-hahaha!

* MeaningfulName: The kanji used to spell my first name is 美兎, which means "beautiful rabbit", as is fitting for the gorgeous girl genius! Rabbits are famous for [[ExplosiveBreeder having lots of sex and lots of offspring]], and this is the perfect metaphor for me and my dirty jokes (my two locks of hair even look like a pair of rabbit ears, now that I think of it...). The kanji for my last name, 入間, means "enter a space". [[HehHehYouSaidX And yes, it is also talkin' about enterin' THAT space]]! The first kanji of my last name, 入, can be used to spell "hairu" (入る), which can mean "to enter" ([[HehHehYouSaidX hee hee hee!]]) but also "to start functioning", which fits with my [[MissFixit talent as the Ultimate Inventor]]!
* TheNicknamer: Hmm... let me see if my golden brain can remember some of those names I called my classmates...

** Also... that masochistic freak Slowko, she... takes things further than me. Her fantasies about being Byakuya's doormat are enough to make me uncomfortable... and ''she's'' got a lotta ass to say that [[HypocriticalHumor get off on freakier shit than that]]!

%%* HiddenDepths: ... D-Don't laugh... okay? You won't... shout at me? O-okay.
%%** I... I think I act so loud and obsessed with sex because... I'm [--very loney--]]. M-m-my... my fantasy is... much more vanilla than you might expect, as it's just me havin' a childhood friend and...fallin' for him...
%%** Ehehe. Being Monotaro's "mom" is actually really cute.

* ImplausibleDeniability: Wh-wh-what the what!?!? A-are you tryn' to say that I fell for Shuichi because he stopped me from cuttin' myself open and was worried about me afterwards!? H-he said it first... Shuichi said that he's worried about me... cuz he's in love with me...

* LadySwearsALot: If [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPUU0O8Yx8 this video]] doesn't convince your shithole of a brain, I don't know what fuckin' will.

* MagnumOpusDissonance: A lot of my inventions will let you do a lot of things in your sleep, like reading, typing, or even eating because I realized people waste a lot of time on sleep. Though, I once made these stupid eyedrop contact lenses as a gag. It doesn't make anyone productive while they sleep, so it was a failure. I signed the patent rights to some company and never looked back. Kaediot told me that some of her friends wear those, but those friends sound like a bunch of fuckin' plebs!

* ShipperOnDeck: I once saw Kaediot and Poo-ichi walking together, so I told them to take a trip to the warehouse so they can get some rubbers if they do decide to get it on! I thought it would lighten the mood, b-but... they did not find my joke funny...

Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that, you shithead! Do you want me to get a heart attack, and - oh, I dunno - DIE?!?! Without a golden brain like mine, the world'd be a stinkin' mess! All advancements in technology and science would be delayed by at least two centuries!

What the fuck do you want, anyway? Wait, don't tell me! You're here to stare at my tits, aren't you? Hah-hahaha! Help yourself! A lonely virgin like you can only dream of hookin' up with a big-boobed hottie like me! Go ahead! Just don't get too excited, I just cleaned the rug-

Wh-what?! Th-that's not why you're here...? You... d-don't even know me? Seriously? Were you living under some cum-soaked urinal cake for the past hundred years? Pull up a seat and get ready to hear the world's sexiest autobiography! I ain't sparing a single sordid detail!

I'm the gorgeous girl genius whose good looks and golden brain will go down in history! I'm the one, the only, the legendary Ultimate Inventor herself - Miu Iruma! I make all kinds of stuff - but the only gadgets worth talking about are the ones that'll let you do stuff in your sleep, like reading, typing and eating! I was inspired after seeing how long people sleep a day. Sleeping's a complete waste of time - unless it's with a prime piece of ass like me! Hah-hahaha!

But if you want to get all personal, I used to be a boring, unremarkable waste of sperm, just like you. Then, one day, I got into an accident and ended up in a coma. It was real life-and-death type shit. But after the surgery, I was chock-full of ideas for inventions! And I had the brains, skills, and physical talent to make those inventions a reality! Now the world can't live without me, my genius, or my smokin' hot body, simple as that!

!!I dunno what the deal is with these "TV Gropes", but here are some of mine!

%%** M-m-my... m-my fantasy... is much more vanilla than you might think... it's just me having a childhood friend and falling in love with him. He's always taken care of me, holding my hand everywhere we went... staying by my side no matter what... and he still does that for me. He's the only one who sees past my act and knows the real me... he's also why I can hold my head up high as the Ultimate Inventor... If I didn't have him in my life... I'd prolly be in a gutter or something... For these... I wanted to thank him... but he said... he didn't need my inventions... that I should use them to help people... so I don't have anything else to offer him as thanks except... m-myself...

%%* LoveableSexManiac: Hehehe, if you can't tell from my leather straps, I just love spoutin' out all kinds of lewd shit! If not even that is enough (and I think you're a virgin of a completely different level, in that case), then maybe [[https://i.redd.it/60q6kz697s101.jpg THIS (warning: NSFW) should be enough to make it clear]]! [--Though, I... I prefer that I go on a date with the person I like before I get it on...--]

* BigBreastPride: Duh-doy! These puppies are the envy of every girl in the goddamn academy! ...What? I dunno who the fuck this "Suckura" thinks she is, but muscles don't count! And looking like the Hulk's hillbilly cousin will not get you laid!

%%** Eheheh. Being Monotaro's "mom" is actually really cute.

** Though, on another note, I have an invention that punches you for saying terrible dirty jokes. When I showed it to Poo-ichi, he complained about its name, so I told him that sometimes I'm too lazy to think of names. I am constantly crankin' out new inventions, so he shouldn't expect me to name 'em all. I mean, I don't expect him to name each of his little dudes after he blasts 'em into a tissue, either. And then, when I said that, my own invention punched me. Still though... that was a good punch...

%%* LoveableSexManiac: I don't think "virgin" would be enough to describe you if my leather straps, my dirty jokes, my kinks, and my openness about my sexual habits are not enough to show you how much I like to talk about sex! [--Though, I... I prefer that I go on a date with the person I like before I get it on...--]

* NoodleIncident: Heehee! [[DoubleEntendre I've been through quite a few "noodle incidents" if you catch my drift!]] But to be serious, there's my sexual awakening, which all started at [[NoodleImplements a Chinese restaurant where I was reading this comic book]]...

* OverworkedSleep: I... tend to do this whenever I am workin' on my inventions. Those cameras I made for Kaediot and Poo-ichi, I... pulled an all-nighter makin' them, and afterward, just sorta... passed out...

%%* LoveableSexManiac: My leather straps, my dirty jokes, my kinks... You must be a virgin on a whole new level if you did not pick any of that up!

* ShamelessFanserviceGirl: Boo-yah! I'm the gorgeous girl genius, so of course I'd have the perfect body for fanservice! Just ask Gonta! Well, when you got the body of a goddess, it's only natural to wanna flaunt it! [[BlatantLies I show my panties to the boys all the time! And I mean, *all* the time!]]

* VirginShaming: Heh! It's obvious you're a virgin if all you do is whack it to my pictures and generally daydream about bein' with a girl with a hot bod like me! Though, I may not look like it cuz my tits are so big, but I've actually got a soft spot for virgins, so keep at it with your tug sessions!

** Also... that masochistic freak Slowko, she... takes things farther than me. Her fantasies about being Byakuya's doormat are enough to make me uncomfortable... and ''she's'' got a lotta ass to say that [[HypocriticalHumor get off on freakier shit than that]]!

* MeaningfulName: The kanji used to spell my first name is 美兎, which means "beautiful rabbit", as is fitting for the gorgeous girl genius! Rabbits are famous for [[ExplosiveBreeder having lots of sex and lots of offspring]], and this is the perfect metaphor for me and my dirty jokes (my two locks of hair even look like a pair of rabbit ears, now that I think of it...). The kanji for my last name, 入間, means "enter a space". [[HehHehYouSaidX And yes, it is also talkin' about enterin' THAT space]]! The first kanji of my last name (入) can be used to spell "hairu" (入る), which can mean "to enter" ([[HehHehYouSaidX hee hee hee!]]) but also "to start functioning", which fits with my [[MissFixit talent as the Ultimate Inventor]]!

%%* ImplausibleDeniability: Wh-wh-what the what!?!? A-are you tryn' to say that I became lovesick for Shuichi because he stopped me from cuttin' myself open and was worried about me afterwards!? H-he said it first... Shuichi said that he's worried about me... cuz he's in love with me...

* ShipperOnDeck: I once saw Kaediot and Poo-ichi walking together, so I told them to take a trip to the warehouse so they can get some rubbers if they do decide to get it on! I thought it would lighten the mood, b-but... they did not find it funny...
* SlutShaming: Mmmh! Slut?! ...what? I-it's not like I secretly enjoy it when someone talks shit to me! This is one of my kinks!

%%* VirginShaming: Heh! It's obvious you're a virgin if all you do is whack it to my pictures and generally daydream about bein' with a girl with a hot bod like me! Though, I may not look like it cuz my tits are so big, but I've actually got a soft spot for virgins!