Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that, you shithead! Do you want me to get a heart attack, and - oh, I dunno - DIE?!?! Without a golden brain like mine, the world'd be a stinkin' mess! All advancements in technology and science would be delayed by at least two centuries!
What the fuck do you want, anyway? Wait, don't tell me! You're here to stare at my tits, aren't you? Hah-hahaha! Help yourself! A lonely virgin like you can only dream of hookin' up with a big-boobed hottie like me! Go ahead! Just don't get too excited, I just cleaned the rug-
Wh-what?! Th-that's not why you're here...? You... d-don't even know me? Seriously? Were you living under some cum-soaked urinal cake for the past hundred years? Pull up a seat and get ready to hear the world's sexiest autobiography! I ain't sparing a single sordid detail!
I'm the gorgeous girl genius whose good looks and golden brain will go down in history! I'm the one, the only, the legendary Ultimate Inventor herself - Miu Iruma! I make all kinds of stuff - but the only gadgets worth talking about are the ones that'll let you do stuff in your sleep, like reading, typing and eating! I was inspired after seeing how long people sleep a day. Sleeping's a complete waste of time - unless it's with a prime piece of ass like me! Hah-hahaha!
But if you want to get all personal, I used to be a boring, unremarkable waste of sperm, just like you. Then, one day, I got into an accident and ended up in a coma. It was real life-and-death type shit. But after the surgery, I was chock-full of ideas for inventions! And I had the brains, skills, and physical talent to make those inventions a reality! Now the world can't live without me, my genius, or my smokin' hot body, simple as that!
(Heads up, A-cup! There are gonna be unmarked spoilers after this, so you'd better fuck off if you wanna enjoy the game the long and hard way! And yes, that is what she said!)
Oh fuck my life, that bullhorn with tits has her own page?! Please excuse me while I talk to her in words only she can understand:HEY SHIT-FOR-BRAINS! I SUGGEST THAT YOU START WORKING ON YOUR PAGE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THEY DELETE IT FOR NOT HAVING ENOUGH MATERIAL!
I dunno what the deal is with these "TV Gropes", but here are some of mine!
- Adorkable: Huh?! I-I'm not a dork, you jerk! I-I'm genius, got that?! I'm not happy you're calling me adorable either! I'm a sexy girl genius!
- A Date with Rosie Palms: Hahah! You're one to talk, you thirsty lummox! I bet you're using this page for jerk fuel as we speak!
- Anime Hair: Everyone knows virgins like you jack off to girls with tentacles like these!
- Big Breast Pride: Duh-doy! These puppies are the envy of every girl in the goddamn academy! ...What? I dunno who the fuck this "Suckura" thinks she is, but muscles don't count! And looking like the Hulk's hillbilly cousin will not get you laid!
- Black Comedy: I'm a never-ending supply of dirty jokes. They just keep on gushing out and out and out!
- Casual Kink: Wh-what? Y-you couldn't tell that from the leather straps all over my body? ...Clean the shit outta your eyes!
- Cruel and Unusual Death: I got strangled to death by that dumb fuck Gonta, in the Virtual World no less. Just when I was about to kill Kokichi and escape the Killing Game, too. How could he fall for that little shit's bull and kill me, of all people?! Was there some kind of error in my program, or Gonta's tiny ass brain?!
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Despite my golden brain, my gorgeous tits and my sexy personality, nobody likes me very much...
- Gadgeteer Genius: I could invent stuff dipped in hot wax with two hands tied behind my back!
- The Immodest Orgasm: Oh my... I had a huge one while everyone was discussing Cunt Fu's death! B-but... no one noticed...
- Insufferable Genius: Hey! It's only natural to treat the uggos around you like idiots when you've got a superior brain like mine!
- Pink Means Feminine: Fuck that! I may wear pink, but if I started acting all girly and shit nobody'd be around to lighten the mood with filthy jokes!
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: If my Jerkass personality gets under skin, go fuck yourself! Get to know me a little more, and you might see I've got a heart of gold that goes along with my golden brain.
- No Social Skills: What do you mean, I can't just blurt out whatever sordid thought crosses my mind?!
- Noodle Incident: Hah-hahaha! I've been through quite a few "noodle incidents", if you catch my drift! But to be serious, there's my sexual awakening, which all started at a Chinese restaurant where I was reading this comic book...
- Science Vs Magic: Man, fuck Angie and her Atua crap! It's all just a load of unscientific bullshit! Besides, if there really was a god, he'd clearly pick me, the gorgeous girl genius, as his chosen one instead of that kooky ditch bitch!
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: Boo-yah! I'm the gorgeous girl genius! Of course I'd have the perfect body for fanservice! Do you take me for some lazy hag who isn't petite?! Fuck you! The gorgeous girl genius has a golden brain and a golden body! Hah-hahahahaa! Oh, I was spoiled by the Word of God!
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Well, more like Lady Swears a Lot, but if this video doesn't convince your shithole of a brain, I don't know what fucking will.