History Quotes / VillainBall

-->-- DiamandaHagan reviewing '''TurkeyShoot'''

->[Mickey] Rourke isn’t all that menacing, his character comes up with stupid plans, he has no real problem solving abilities, and he can’t learn [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim to shut up and shoot his targets]]. Now that may be the point... that [[MilesGloriosus he believes he is the best but is utterly incompetent]] but I highly doubt that. Every fed/mob character try to play him up as the next [[Film/NoCountryForOldMen Anton Chigurh]] and yet every one of his plans go completely tits up on him.

->'''Chris''': Magneto is super surprised that all the army guys are kitted out with plastic weapons, as though there was not a dude [[AesopAmnesia beating him with a plastic nightstick]] in the last movie. It’s almost like Ratner and the writers never actually saw ''X-Men'' 1 or 2, and just had someone describe it to them. Over the phone. While driving through a tunnel.\\
'''Matt''': [=McKellen=] looks like Bela Lugosi in an Creator/EdWood movie in these shots.
-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumer' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-x-men-3-the-last-stand-2006-part-two/ on]] ''[[{{Film/XMen}} X-3: X-Men United]]''

->'''Q.''' But... when he has her alone, [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim why doesn't he just shoot her or stab her]] or something? Instead of trying to shoot down the plane when she's on board? And then the next day, he tries to bomb the plane. Wouldn't it be simpler if...\\
'''A.''' Nothing is simple, Penrod; you do not [[NoMisterBondIExpectYouToDine buy a woman dinner in Paris]] only to shoot or stab her.
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''', review of ''Film/{{Airport}}'' '79''

->Creator/GeneSiskel was fond of a movie cliche he called "[[ClimbingClimax The Climbing Killer Syndrome.]]" This described the mysterious compulsion that forces killers to flee upwards instead of sideways.
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert'''

->He killed an entire club's worth of people earlier, with ''not one'' of them getting away. And now Joey's stumbling around like an idiot and he can't even get ''her!'' Come on, Pinhead. But maybe that's because he's using electrified water and explosions instead of the very effective [[IconicItem hooks on chains]].

'''Plinkett:''' ''(watching)'' Uhh.....hey, Ru'afo? Remember the beginning of the movie? The android has been nothing but ''the biggest problem to you ever''.

->'''Ru'afo:''' He's not threat.\\

-->-- '''Television set''', being watched by Dan's AuthorAvatar in the ''WebComic/ElGoonishShive'' strip
''[[http://www.egscomics.com/sketchbook.php?id=103 Too Tired to Care]]''

-->-- '''Television set''', being watched by Dan's AuthorAvatar in the ''WebComic/ElGoonishShive'' strip ''[[http://www.egscomics.com/sketchbook.php?id=103 Too Tired to Care]]''

->''(Mickey)'' Rourke isn’t all that menacing, his character comes up with stupid plans, he has no real problem solving abilities, and he can’t learn [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim to shut up and shoot his targets]]. Now that may be the point of the book... that [[MilesGloriosus he believes he is the best but is utterly incompetent]] but I highly doubt that. Every fed/mob character try to play him up as the next [[Film/NoCountryForOldMen Anton Chigurh]] and yet every one of his plans go completely tits up on him.

->''"And so apparently the world was once again saved due to the villains being totally incompetent. Now onto weather..."''

->''"''(Mickey)'' Rourke isn’t all that menacing, his character comes up with stupid plans, he has no real problem solving abilities, and he can’t learn [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim to shut up and shoot his targets]]. Now that may be the point of the book... that [[MilesGloriosus he believes he is the best but is utterly incompetent]] but I highly doubt that. Every fed/mob character [[InformedAbility try to play him up as]] the next [[Film/NoCountryForOldMen Anton Chigurh]] and yet every one of his plans go completely tits up on him."''

->''"Poor {{DC}}. So many of the [[BloodierAndGorier scenes of death and dismemberment]] they’ve written into their books recently have just been [[{{Narm}} exercises in black comedy]]. For instance, take the death of Maxwell Lord, an event that was supposed to be a super big deal for ComicBook/WonderWoman’s future characterization and a bunch of events planned out for then-brewing ''ComicBook/InfiniteCrisis''. The scene as written is just fucking hilarious...Max mwa-ha-has about how she can’t keep him tied up forever ([[FridgeLogic which… actually she could]], or long enough to find another way to deal with him, but whatever), and then boasts that the only way she can ever free Superman would be to kill him. In a scene with comic timing so goddamn perfect it had to be intentional, Wonder Woman thinks this over, and then… '''[[NeckSnap *KRK*]]'''\\\
Fucking ''classic'', is what that is. "''
-->--'''''Topless Robot''''', [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/09/the_10_people_who_have_stayed_dead_in_superhero_co.php "The 10 People Who Have Stayed Dead in Comics"]]

'''Matt''': [=McKellen=] looks like Bela Lugosi in an EdWood movie in these shots.
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-x-men-3-the-last-stand-2006-part-two/ on]] ''[[{{Film/XMen}} X-3: X-Men United]]''

->''"I’m starting to feel bad for {{Thanos}}, to be honest. He has a [[PsychoticSmirk nice smile]], a [[TinTyrant neat-looking gold suit]] and a comfortable-looking [[CoolChair space chair]], but other than that, I don’t think he has a lot going for him. He’s not that handsome, smile aside, and everyone seems to hate him. Even when he pays to have people be friends with him, like Ronan the Accuser, those people wind up betraying him, too. All Thanos wants is love. (And maybe he should stop spending time with people known as 'The Accuser,' who sound very judgmental.)"''\\
--'''[[http://comicsalliance.com/thanos-infinty-stone/ Mike Ryan]]''', "Thanos is Really Bad at Being a Supervillain"

->'''Hagan:''' "[[TheDragon Ritter]] goes off to start a fire and smoke out [[FinalGirl Chris]] and, it's a good plan -- I'm sure it'll fuck up somehow."
->''(Mallory walks into the canefield that's about to be burned, instead of waiting for Chris to be flushed out)''
->'''Hagan:''' "Oh, that was fast. Fuck-up achieved."

->''"I’m starting to feel bad for {{Thanos}}, to be honest. He has a nice smile, a neat-looking gold suit and a comfortable-looking space chair, but other than that, I don’t think he has a lot going for him. He’s not that handsome, smile aside, and everyone seems to hate him. Even when he pays to have people be friends with him, like Ronan the Accuser, those people wind up betraying him, too. All Thanos wants is love. (And maybe he should stop spending time with people known as 'The Accuser,' who sound very judgmental.)"''\\

->''"For all you aspiring villains, remember: When victory is just a push of a button away, you are required to complicate the matter in the most ridiculous way possible."''
-->-- '''''Website/{{Cracked}}.com''''', "The 5 Most Needlessly Evil Super Villain Strategies"

->''"For as much as this guy talks about being the best hit man, he really sucks. ''(Mickey)'' Rourke isn’t all that menacing, his character comes up with stupid plans, he has no real problem solving abilities, and he can’t learn [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim to shut up and shoot his targets]]. Now that may be the point of the book... that [[MilesGloriosus he believes he is the best but is utterly incompetent]] but I highly doubt that. Every fed/mob character [[InformedAbility try to play him up as]] the next [[Film/NoCountryForOldMen Anton Chigurh]] and yet every one of his plans go completely tits up on him."''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/02/01/killshot-2008-john-madden/ on]] ''{{Film/Killshot}}''

'''Anubis''': No, it's a secret.\\

->'''Chris''': There’s also a bit where Magneto is super surprised that all the army guys are kitted out with plastic weapons, as though there was not a dude [[AesopAmnesia beating him with a plastic nightstick]] in the last movie. It’s almost like Ratner and the writers never actually saw ''X-Men'' 1 or 2, and just had someone describe it to them. Over the phone. While driving through a tunnel.\\

->''"Sinister makes a last-ditch effort to stop the X-Men by reasserting his mind control over Morph, and man, how desperate do you have to be for an escape plan when you have to use Morph for something that does not explicitly involve shape-shifting? Instead, the idea is that Morph will pick up a ''Star Trek'' phaser and just shoot Cyclops. It’s dumb, but there’s a level where I [[WhyDontYaJustShootHim admire its simplicity.]]\\\
Fortunately for the X-Men, Sinister forgot that they have '''the world’s most powerful telepath''' sitting right there on the floor, and that’s pretty much that for this whole mind control nonsense."''
-->--'''Chris Sims''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/the-x-men-episode-guide-2x12-the-reunion-part-2/ on]] ''WesternAnimation/{{X-Men}}'', "The Reunion Part. 2"

->'''David:''' To be fair, all of this takes place in a [[VirtualReality virtual world]], this isn’t even the real Lois...Which, of course, makes me ask: exactly '''WHY DID THE GOVERNMENT PUT {{LOIS LANE}} IN THE SAME VIRTUAL WORLD AS LIKE FORTY SUPERHEROES?!'''\\
'''Chris''': They were trying to figure out a way to take away her powers. Which I think could be accomplished by padlocking her [[MsFanservice Sexy Costume Closet]].
-->--'''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri'''' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-12-collateral/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Collateral")

-->-- DiamandaHagan reviewing '''TurkeyShoot'''

-->-- '''[[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yu-Gi-Oh! The AbridgedMovie]]'''

->'''Hagan:''' "Ritter goes off to start a fire and smoke out Chris and, it's a good plan -- I'm sure it'll fuck up somehow."

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'''Yami''': Why would you want to do that?

-> '''Anubis''': Silence! Now, after 5000 years of waiting, I'm going to challenge you to a children's card game! And then I'll destroy the world!
-> '''Yami''': Why would you want to do that?
-> '''A''': What?
-> '''Y''': What's the point in destroying the world? What do you gain from it?
-> '''A''': ...I don't understand the question.
-> '''Y''': Look, you must have some reason for wanting to destroy the world. Otherwise, this whole movie was just pointless bickering!
-> '''A''': Of course I have a reason!
-> '''Y''': Oh, goodie! Do you feel like sharing it with the class?
-> '''A''': No, it's a secret.
-> '''Y''': You're a more disappointing villain then Venom.
-->-- '''Yu-Gi-Oh!TheAbridgedSeries'''