History Quotes / Troll

->Put the right troll in the right message board or comment section and he can completely destroy any chance of discussion -- he has effectively broken the system for no other reason than personal amusement. It's ego masturbation. It happened so much at ''Popular Science'' that they shut down their comment section. It was as if [[StarWarsAnewHope a thousand voices cried out the word "fag" and were suddenly silenced.]]

->Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past. It is not that they are afraid of being convinced.
-->--'''Creator/JeanPaulSartre'''

->You WILL NOT make this putt...jackass!

-->--'''GreenDay''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vmc4mbCBlQ "Chump"]]

-->--'''Michael K.''', [[http://dlisted.com/2014/08/13/robin-williams-daughter-decided-to-quit-twitter-because-you-guessed-it-trolls/ "Creator/RobinWilliams’ Daughter Decided To Quit Twitter Because (You Guessed It) Trolls"]]

-->--'''RichardDawkins''' reads his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421828030 fan mail]]

What I don’t get is why. I think it’s because most normal people are not commenters – I’ve never met anyone who’s left a comment on anything. It’s just demons who live in basements. You have this weird thing where you end up trying to fight against this faceless blob, where the more you hate it, the bigger it gets, because it’s all in your head.”

--> --''TheDarkKnightReturns''

-->-- [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_366812&feature=iv&src_vid=kWIFpAWnnhU&v=oRP-kKexC98 forum weapon, from the episode "Dethtroll"]], ''{{Metalocalypse}}''

->If this kind of thing was still confined to {{YouTube}} comments – then fuck it, who cares? But it’s not. It spills out. It’s everywhere now, even seeping into reality: There are people walking the Earth today who genuinely think, in all aspects of their lives, that somebody getting pissed off at them for valid reasons means [[ItAmusedMe they win something.]]

->Has been known to cause the destruction of quite a lot of lives. As in [[RealLife IRL]] lives. And if you feel bad for anyone that has been trolled, then [[ARealManIsAKiller you're a butthurt emo gay moralfag who BAWWWWWWWWWs.]] If the trolled person happens to be a woman, you're also an anti-lulzy White Knight because they're all '[[HeManWomanHater asking for it]]'.
Hilarious, I know.

->Has been known to cause the destruction of quite a lot of lives. As in IRL lives.
And if you feel bad for anyone that has been trolled, then [[ARealManIsAKiller you're a butthurt emo gay moralfag who BAWWWWWWWWWs.]] If the trolled person happens to be a woman, you're also an anti-lulzy White Knight because they're all '[[HeManWomanHater asking for it]]'.

->While she doesn't [[SarahPalin hunt moose]], she does like fishing, target shooting, and {{NASCAR}}. Although Cupp panders to '[[FlyoverCountry Middle America]]' and rails against '[[SlobsVersusSnobs liberal and coastal elites]],' she herself [[BoomerangBigot is one of the latter.]] She was born in California, raised in Massachusetts, graduated from Cornell, and lives in New York City. Cupp also seems to think that creationism should be taught in schools because not doing so would be 'insulting' to Christians. Because of this, in combination with her atheist concern trolling, many believe that she is in fact a [[PoesLaw deep cover liberal]] and may possibly be the first IRL sock puppet to ever be discovered.
-->--''Wiki/RationalWiki'' on Fox News' [[FoxNewsLiberal resident atheist]] S.E. Cupp

->Camille Paglia has been trolling since before trolling was [[WroteTheBook A Thing]]. She's the OG of barfing up archaic assertions about women, men, and feminism, justifying them with [[ChewbaccaDefense sweeping, unverified statements]]... Most recently, she yammered on about KatyPerry and TaylorSwift being awful because they are The Bad Kind Of Pop Star, then lauded '[[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy bootylicious, confident urban women]]' because they are The Good Kind of Pop Star. During the 2008 election, she compared Sarah Palin's incoherent and endless run-on sentence style of talking to listening to some [[MistakenForProfound pretty excellent jazz]] and declared her the savior of '[[{{Malaproper}} third world]] feminism.' She's endlessly weird about fetishizing women of color as paragons of hotness and repeatedly slapping the air around her for invisible, vague feminists who [[StrawFeminist hate all men and want sex to end forever]]. Planet Paglia is one where white bitches are hating men and fun...It's refried bullshit is what it is.
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://jezebel.com/camille-paglia-please-see-me-after-class-1484324950 "Camille Paglia, Please See Me After Class"]]

->Ellis is a teenage boy, loudly filling a room with proclamations that ''[[Film/TheGodfather Godfather 2]]'' is rubbish and ''{{Film/Norbit}}'' is a masterpiece, and telling the principal to introduce his highschool band as ‘Abortion Bucket and the Anal Rapists’. 'Friends tell me my {{Twitter}} account gets me into trouble,' he says, 'but I can’t help being honest. It’s not my problem if people can’t take the truth... [[Series/MisterRogersNeighborhood Mr. Rogers]] was vile. Oh, have I shocked you?” [[Creator/BretEastonEllis Bret Easton Ellis]] still thinks himself LA’s L’enfant Terrible, but he’s just a big, silly baby.
-->--'''[[http://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/my-top-20-movies-of-2013-the-preamble/ Stuart Millard]]'''

->Creator/RobinWilliams’ daughter Zelda made us all hurt a little bit less after hearing about the death of her father by hopping on the internet and offering up a metaphorical group hug in the form of a touching quote from ''TheLittlePrince''. And ever since then, we collectively decided as a society that for the next week, we would only be sharing heartwarming tributes in honor of Robin Williams (like that picture of [[{{Film/Aladdin}} the Genie hugging Aladdin]] that keeps making me reach for the Kleenex). It should be a classified felony to throw beyond-the-grave shade at the man who gave us ''Film/MrsDoubtfire.''\\\
Unfortunately, there are some assholes out there who clearly want a first-class ticket to Hell, because they started trolling Zelda’s social media accounts and posting rude awful shit about her father’s death, like a fake picture of his dead body. Stay classy, humanity. Even Satan is like '[[EvenEvilHasStandards Are you serious??]]'
-->--'''Michael K.''', [[http://dlisted.com/2014/08/13/robin-williams-daughter-decided-to-quit-twitter-because-you-guessed-it-trolls/ "Robin Williams’ Daughter Decided To Quit Twitter Because (You Guessed It) Trolls"]]

->Think about this. People went to the one safe space they knew online — the epilepsy support forums — and [[EpilepticFlashingLights found themselves having seizures before they could even look away]]. ([[KarmaHoudini Nobody was ever charged]]) ...There isn’t a shred of doubt in my mind that if the troll hackers could find a way to increase your risk of breast cancer? They’d do it. Because what’s better than lulz? Lulz with BOOBS. Yeah, they’d do it.\\\
But what disturbed me even more than the epilepsy forum attack itself were the comments about it afterwards. 'I lol’d' 'That’s awful, but you gotta admit… [[ArsonMurderAndLifesaving hilarious!]]' Once again, high-fives all around. This is the world we have created.

->I despise unfunny hecklers at live comedy acts. Those self-important gadabouts with nothing of value to offer who want to stand out from the crowd and consider themselves equal to the live act that everybody else is here to simply see and enjoy. And it's always a joy for the comedian to then respond to the heckle with unflappable spontaneous wit in such a way that destroys their unwarranted confidence. Internet comments are basically a special platform for all the hecklers to come out onto, one by one, but without the comedian around to put them in their place. The comedian has had the good sense to move on and get the drinks in at the venue bar. As has 90% of the audience, leaving the shitheads to talk only for the benefit of themselves, voicing their stupid opinions into the gaping void of each other's heads.

->This ‘ha ha, you got mad, so you lose’ attitude is the exact same reason we all collectively decided not to like {{hipster}}s very much: It’s because they were hiding behind a rigged game. Everything was ironic....There was no losing condition. Same with people saying shitty things to each other on the internet under the guise of 'humor.' If this kind of thing was still confined to {{YouTube}} comments – then fuck it, who cares? But it’s not. It spills out. It’s everywhere now, even seeping into reality: There are people walking the Earth today who genuinely think, in all aspects of their lives, that somebody getting pissed off at them for valid reasons means they win something.

-> I want to spell this passage out large enough to see from space so that the aliens can see it and come vaporize us. In general, there's nothing to be gained from being a famous athlete and going on Twitter. You're probably gonna have a million followers right away, and I don't even want to know [[SturgeonsLaw what kind of unholy mix of bots, racists, and stalkers]] would populate the mentions of a million-strong Twitter account. Within five seconds of creating your account, you will probably receive a dozen death threats. For us pissants, Twitter helps slake a craven thirst for attention. But for you, the millionaire athlete who already has more attention than he requires, it seems like a redundant waste of fucking time... Never beef. Ever ever ever. Someone said something to piss you off? Welcome to Twitter, where this happens once every half-second. Observe… (waits five seconds) Okay, I just fantasized about murdering 10 different people. That's how quickly Twitter can generate my inner rage.\\\
But you cannot engage. Ever. The second you reply, you've already lost, because your beefing opponent now knows he's gotten in your head. There is no cash prize for winning a Twitter beef (although there ought to be)...And then people will wonder WHY you're beefing, and then they'll wonder about your fragile confidence, and then you will be labeled soft, and then Jay Gruden will bench you. That's how it works.

-->--'''Michael K.''', [[http://dlisted.com/2014/08/13/robin-williams-daughter-decided-to-quit-twitter-because-you-guessed-it-trolls/ "Robin Williams’ Daughter Decided To Quit Twitter Because (You Guessed It) Trolls"]]

->Frankly, I can only imagine the [[HeManWomanHater stream of shit]] that women get from these assholes. Actually, I don't have to imagine, because we know the answer to this: they get [=SWATted=], which is, and [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I am not making this up]], the practice of placing fraudulent police calls alleging hostage situations at people's houses so that SWAT teams get sent in. Which, let's be clear, given the nature of a SWAT team, should really be considered attempted murder.
-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2015/04/saturday-waffling-april-4th-2015.html Phil Sandifer]]''' on the ''[=#gamergate=]'' hashtag

->If you spend a great deal of your time pretending to be an asshole to get a reaction from people...[[WhatYouAreInTheDark you aren't pretending.]] You are an asshole.
-->--'''Ed Brayton'''

->There's something about a bully that really annoys me. They'll say something online that they'd never dare to say to your face. One guy tweeted from his work account that he hoped my kids die of cancer. I let the MD of the firm know and the guy was fired. I felt no guilt, he should have gone to prison.
-->--'''Dom Joly''', comedian and self-proclaimed [[BullyHunter troll slayer]]

-> I want to spell this passage out large enough to see from space so that the aliens can see it and come vaporize us. In general, there's nothing to be gained from being a famous athlete and going on Twitter. You're probably gonna have a million followers right away, and I don't even want to know what kind of unholy mix of bots, racists, and stalkers would populate the mentions of a million-strong Twitter account. Within five seconds of creating your account, you will probably receive a dozen death threats. For us pissants, Twitter helps slake a craven thirst for attention. But for you, the millionaire athlete who already has more attention than he requires, it seems like a redundant waste of fucking time... Never beef. Ever ever ever. Someone said something to piss you off? Welcome to Twitter, where this happens once every half-second. Observe… (waits five seconds) Okay, I just fantasized about murdering 10 different people. That's how quickly Twitter can generate my inner rage.\\\

->''[[LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys I am an asshole,]] [[VideoGame/NewSuperMarioBrosWii I am an asshole,]] [[CrowningMomentOfFunny I am SUCH an asshole! Look at me~]]''
-->-- LetsPlay/ProtonJon

[[folder:Real Life]]

->I am inclined to believe that few attacks either of ridicule or invective make much noise, but by the help of those they provoke.
-->—'''Creator/SamuelJohnson''', explaining the "Don't Feed The Trolls" rule [[OlderThanTheyThink in the 1700s]].

->To live is to war with trolls.
-->--'''Henrik Ibsen'''

->The highways are crowded with people who drive as if their sole purpose in getting behind the wheel is to avenge every wrong done them by man, beast or fate. The only thing that keeps them in line is their fear of death, jail and lawsuits.
-->--'''Creator/HunterSThompson''', ''Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga''

->{{Twitter}} should ban [[Music/CourtneyLove my mother]].
-->--'''Francis Bean Cobain'''

->A word to those of you out there who have yet to be offended by something I have said: Please be patient. I am working as fast as I can.
-->--'''Ann Coulter'''

[[folder:fiction]]
->''You've been trolled\\
You've been trolled\\
You have probably been told\\
'Don't reply to this guy\\
He is just getting a rise out of you'\\
Yes, it's true\\
You respond and that's his cue\\
To start trouble on the double\\
While he strokes his manly stubble\\
You've been trolled\\
You've been trolled\\
You should probably just fold\\
When [[WarGames the only winning move is not to play!]]\\
And yet you keep on trying, mindlessly replying,\\
You've been trolled, you've been trolled, have a nice day!''
-->-- [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAUTXrF5_jQ Successful Troll Song]] (sung to the tune of [[Disney/BeautyAndTheBeast "Be Our Guest"]])

->''Every multiplayer game has one flaw that's I'm seeing,\\
And that's all the bloody things [[ShapedLikeItself are played with human beings]]\\
Playing multiplayer games will give you the ideas\\
[[HumansAreBastards That people are all dickbags, fetid twats and shitty smears]]''
-->--'''Jim & Yahtzee's Rhymedown Spectacular''', [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jim-yahtzees-rhymedown-spectacular/8985-Captain-Falcon-and-the-Teasing-Chop One is Fun"]]

->Stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both.
-->-- ''Literature/TheBible'' (New International Version), Proverbs 27:3

->'''Toki:''' There he is!\\
'''Skwisgaar:''' Yep, that's definitely a troll.
-->-- [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_366812&feature=iv&src_vid=kWIFpAWnnhU&v=oRP-kKexC98 forum weapon, from the episode "Dethtroll"]], ''{{Metalocalypse}}''

->You WILL NOT make this putt...jackass!
--> ''Film/HappyGilmore''

->'''Mr. Cheeky''': No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans, can't take a joke!
-->--'''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian'''

->''[[Memes/{{Film}} TROOOOOOLL IN THE DUNGEON!]]''[[note]][[WebVideo/WhatWeHadToWatch He wants to know if you're mad bro!]][[/note]]
--> '''Professor Quirrel''', ''Film/HarryPotter''

->'''Joker:''' You're in trouble now.\\
'''Batman:''' Shut up.\\
'''Joker:''' Make me. It doesn't matter. I win. I made you lose control. And they'll kill you for it.
--> --''TheDarkKnightReturns''

->'''Urahara''': Now yell as loud as you can: '''"AMAZING HEADBAND OF JUSTICE IN PLACE, AMAZING ARMOR OF JUSTICE PROTECT ME!"''' now! Go on, say it!\\
'''Ichigo''': The Amazing Headband of... what? AGH! That's just stupid! *dodges a punch* Gyah!\\
'''Urahara''': Interesting how the fear of imminent death can change one's mind.\\
'''Ichigo''': All right, I'll say it! Agh, here goes nothing... '''"AMAZING HEADBAND OF JUSTICE IN PLACE, AMAZING ARMOR OF JUSTICE PROTECT ME!"'''\\
''(Nothing happens)''\\
'''Urahara''': Oh, what do you know? I can't believe he actually said it...\\
'''Ichigo''': WHAT!? You're gonna pay for that!
-->--'''Manga/{{Bleach}}'''

->[[color:purple:TT: Maybe you should get some trolling tips from us humans.\\
TT: Our sparing intellects are probably better suited to it.]]
-->'''Rose''', ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

->And now, Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius) Today we salute you Mr. Asshat Forum {{Troll}}. (Mr. Asshat Forum Troll!) You barge into any thread, spewing your brain diarrhea like it was relief water for Ethiopians. (Brain Diarrhea!) There aren't enough [[{{Emoticon}} smilies available to illustrate everyone's disdain for you. Rolleyes, red mad face, puking green guy, and the finger dude]] just aren't enough. (Exclamation mark, eleventy one!) No one is [=LOLing=] when you enter the thread. You single-handedly lower the IQ of the Internet with every post you make. (STFU, r'tard!) It takes guts to do what you do, presenting your contrary opinion in the cold harsh light of incontrovertible facts. Here's to you Mr. Asshat Forum Troll. (Mr. Asshat Forum Troll!)
-->-- [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMOcJfsksI&list=FLM2CFpnQLwo2DUJ6zebbNmA&index=53 "Real Men of Genius: Mr. Asshat Forum Troll" Budweiser ad parody.]]

->I will never tire of tricking the primitives. It is a game that I enjoy playing.
-->--'''Javik''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''

[[folder:real life]]

->You know, I think I've finally figured out where SarahPalin came from: Someone cast a spell on a YouTube comment and ''it came to life.''
-->--'''Creator/JonStewart'''

->"HAHA BITCH YOU NOT AN ATHEIST YOU ARE A '''[[BigStupidDooDooHead GAY]]'''THEIST LOLOL"
-->--'''RichardDawkins''' reads his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421828030 fan mail]]

-->--''RationalWiki'' on Fox News' [[FoxNewsLiberal resident atheist]] S.E. Cupp

->Y'know, as small as this channel is, I still get a new comment, like, every other day asking me to kill myself because I had the audacity ''half a year ago'' to not be super-excited about the next Playstation. It doesn't take a lot to set people off on the internet.
-->--'''George Weidman''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2X59OK8ngM "Phil Fish Versus the Internet"]]

->So theres this guy, his name is Tom. Tom is a gamer and wanted an arcade machine. So [[StartMyOwn he built one]]...Awesome, Huh? Yeah, I want one. It looks sweet. This was posted on Kotaku. I love it. However, the first comment on the post is this guy. We’ll call him [[PunnyName A. Hat.]] Full name Ass Hat, but A. Hat for short. Here is what A. Hat had to say as the first commenter: \\\