History Quotes / TheConversionBureau

->"[[BullyingADragon If you piss off two superpowers]] that have been [[ColdWar gearing up for a war for the past nearly 50 years]], there's not much sympathy I can give you."

->See, a long time ago there was a transvestite that hated everything. She hated masculinity, she hated everyone who wasn’t pansexual, she was a total control freak, she hated humanity in general, and she hated criticism. She considered it a good thing if humanity was wiped out by aliens who created a barrier which slowly advanced across the earth, wiping away humanity and all its accomplishments. She thought it was even better if said aliens provided a way to turn humans into more of the aliens, raping the culture, identity, and history, ability to swear, hands, ability to do violence, (even in self-defense) free will, and negative emotions out of them. These aliens were the ponies from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

->''For those of you who don't know what all this is about, and probably know me mostly as "Hey! You're that guy who really likes revolvers, assault rifles, and shotguns, who almost never colors his work in and just photographs his sketches!" and/or just came to see I know you want an explanation after this one. I also know you’re wondering “Why ponies?”

See, a long time ago there was a transvestite that hated everything. She hated masculinity, she hated everyone who wasn’t pansexual, she was a total control freak, she hated humanity in general, and she hated criticism. She considered it a good thing if humanity was wiped out by aliens who created a barrier which slowly advanced across the earth, wiping away humanity and all its accomplishments. She thought it was even better if said aliens provided a way to turn humans into more of the aliens, raping the culture, identity, and history, ability to swear, hands, ability to do violence, (even in self-defense) free will, and negative emotions out of them. These aliens were the ponies from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimerI swear to God I didn’t make a word of that up]].''

->"Hell even [[AdolfHitler Hitler]] can have more moral base than Xenolestia."

->“[[TakeThat If you want characters to suddenly start acting out of character like this, go read a]] [[MadArtist Chatoyance]] [[TakeThat fic]]!"\\

->"[[BullyingADragon If you piss off two superpowers]] [[ColdWar that have been gearing up for a war for the past nearly 50 years]], there's not much sympathy I can give you."

-->--''Ergo'', on ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1123/the-conversion-bureau-the-big-respawn The Big Respawn]]''

-->--Comment by ''doorcf'' on ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/73895/tcb-a-world-at-war TCB: A World At War]]''

-->--'''Ergo''', on ''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1123/the-conversion-bureau-the-big-respawn The Big Respawn]]''

-->--'''Ergo''', on ''The Big Respawn''

--[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech "Reason You Suck" Speech]] given to [[EvilCounterpart Queen Celestia]] from Princess Celestia, Fanfic/TheConversionBureauTheOtherSideOfTheSpectrum

--'''[[spoiler:Discord]], ''Fanfic/TheConversionBureauTheOtherSideOfTheSpectrum''

->''"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."''

->"Now, there's nothing wrong with turning into a pony. [[NotHimself You lose that 'human nature' that keeps you greedy and selfish, and you become more carefree and friendly.]]"
-->-- '''Twilight Sparkle'''

->"Let [the humans] stay in that manure-hole they live in, and we'll just hang out with all of the cool new ponies comin' in!"
-->-- '''Rainbow Dash'''

->"I've seen a lot of backstories written about how Equestria is simply a post-apocalyptic Earth set in the distant future. [[FunnyAneurysmMoment I decided to expand on it in a much less...grimdark fashion.]]"
-->-- '''[[WordOfGod Author's Notes]]'''

->"Celebrating a year of using happy, colorful ponies to advocate racial supremacism and ethnic cleansing!"
-->-- '''Starman Ghost'''

->"In my stories [[TheRightOfASuperiorSpecies superior beings - truly superior beings - can do things that if a lesser being, like a human, were to do, it would indeed be evil.]]"
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"Damn it, I have absolutely NO idea who to cheer for! On one hand, we have the xenophobic racist abominations of nature that violate almost every law and convention that exists, and [[BaitAndSwitchComparison on the other hand, we have the Draka!]]"
-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "Spacebattle's opinion on a hypothetical Draka vs TCB scenario"]].

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->“[[TakeThat If you want characters to suddenly start acting out of character like this, go read a]] [[MadArtist Chatoyance]] [[TakeThat fic]]!"
-->-- '''[[spoiler:Discord]], Fanfic/TheConversionBureauTheOtherSideOfTheSpectrum

->'''Princess Celestia:''' [[NotSoDifferent "And you have done just the same]], [[{{Hypocrite}} or even worse!]] You have corrupted your Equestria, tainted the souls of precious ponies with cruelty and malice, and drawn two realities into a war of endless death and atrocity! Harmony, true harmony, transcends species and worlds – it is the finding of common ground despite differences, the nurturing of love between all! You would create a desolation and name it Peace! [[WorldOfCardboardSpeech I will not allow some Tyrant rule with an iron hoof. I will not allow an entire species to die quietly and fade into the darkness. I will not stand to see the rape of innocence and innocents alike, of the peaceful being forced to take up bloody arms, and the grotesque being violated in mind, body and soul!]] Equestria, all of Equus, will rise against you! [[BadassBoast We will fight. We will turn this darkness away, and come to the rescue of all you have subjugated, Pony and Human, Earthborn and Equestrian alike. We will cast you down, and cast you out!]] In Harmony’s name, I swear it."
-->-- [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech "Reason You Suck" Speech]] given to [[EvilCounterpart Queen Celestia]] from Princess Celestia, Fanfic/TheConversionBureauTheOtherSideOfTheSpectrum

-->-- [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech "Reason You Suck" Speech]] given to [[EvilCounterpart Queen Celestia]] from Princess Celestia, Fanfic/TheConversionBureauTheOtherSideOfTheSpectrum

-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

-->-- '''[[WordOfGod Blaze]]'''

-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"I've seen a lot of backstories written about how Equestria is simply a post-apocalyptic Earth set in the distant future. [[HilariousInHindsight I decided to expand on it in a much less...grimdark fashion.]]"

-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"I had to remind myself half way through that this wasn't made by someone who hates the show and is trying to demonize it."
-->--'''Ergo''', on ''The Big Respawn''

->"[[KillItWithFire Burning]] is not advised, as burning it is [[InsultToRocks a grave heresy to fire]]. Consider sending it to your enemies instead."
-->--'''The Moiderah Of Ponies''', on ''The Conversion Bureau''

->"CB is a universe where ponies are xenophobic, racist, parasitical bastards with a [[BalefulPolymorph penchant for using potions that convert people]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul into mindless pony-shaped drones]], the Princesses are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s that only ''look'' like ponies, magic is harmful to humans (''[[PunyEarthlings and only humans]]'') and [[MarySuetopia ponies live perfectly happy lives for centuries in which nothing bad is allowed to happen]].

->Meanwhile, [[CrapsackWorld Earth]] is run by [[CorruptCorporateExecutive greedy, sleazy, corrupt fatass fuckwads]] and is full of [[AxeCrazy kill-happy murderers]], [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil rapists]], [[StrawmanPolitical fanatics]], [[TooDumbToLive jackasses]], [[JerkAss assholes]], [[HumansAreMorons idiots]], [[OmnicidalManiac mass murderers]], [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot kill-happy murderbot transhuman cyborgs]], [[AIIsACrapshoot murderous malfunctioning AI's]], [[TerroristsWithoutACause terrorists]], [[LesCollaborateurs traitors]], [[FantasticRacism bigots]], [[PsychoForHire blood-thirsty mercenaries]], [[ANaziByAnyOtherName jackbooted tyrants]], [[CompleteMonster complete and utter monsters]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking whiners]]. Every single human the writers bother to give any amount of screentime is an unrepentantly evil bastard that EatsBabies, [[ObviouslyEvil farts Anthrax XXL, has an evily tiny moustache]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking parts their hair sideways]] [[ObviouslyEvil and has "unrepenting evil bastard" written into their DNA]], except those who convert into glorious pony form, who are simply "misguided" and have "ascended into a higher state of being".

->Also, the Earth is dying, [[HumansAreBastards it's our fault]] and we must bow down to the [[CantArgueWithElves mighty ponies]] who will fix everything ever.

->By the way, the more prolific and notorious author has gone on record that the Princesses are '''''commiting genocide''''' in her stories, but it's ''totally fine'' because it's a [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveSupernaturalPowers goddess]] that's doing it. She also believes that the question "Why?" is an attack on your person.

->Now excuse me, for I must burn down an orphanage while laughing and twirling my [[DastardlyWhiplash Snidely Whiplash moustache]], obtain a new monocle and hat from a bunch of blokes who use cancer patient labour, beat a child to death with "Why?"'s, feast on the souls of the hopeless and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking talk loudly on the cellphone in a cinema]]."
-->--'''Dalek Ix'''


->"It takes a really [[PrecisionFStrike fucked up]] mind to take a show whose basic message is "friendship is magic", [[CharacterDerailment gut and twist its characters and setting]] and then turn it into a misanthrope's wet dream."
-->--'''Velkaden'''

->"I had to remind myself half way through that this wasn't made by someone who hates the show and is trying to demonize it."
-->--'''Ergo''', on ''The Big Respawn''

->"[[KillItWithFire Burning]] is not advised, as burning it is [[InsultToRocks a grave heresy to fire]]. Consider sending it to your enemies instead."
-->--'''The Moiderah Of Ponies''', on ''The Conversion Bureau''

->"The amount of creativity blooming from this one world made by Blaze is astounding. The stories range from emotional stories of ruin and love, to resistance and war, and even mystery and suspense. Keep it up bronies!"
-->--'''Windchaser'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"TCB stories exist to explore what it means to be human, and how being human could be made better by embodying the lessons of My Little Pony: kindness, loyalty, laughter, honesty, generosity, and the magic that is friendship. Understanding. Compassion for others. Gentleness and love, as opposed to violence and hatred.

->All of this is done within a 'Blade Runner meets My Little Pony' scenario, done up as a disaster movie, where humanity is tested and must change to survive. It is smartly a representation of the challenges humanity now faces in a world of war, hunger, pollution and corporate rulership.

->TCB is celebrated by intelligent adults who comprehend that 'ponification' is symbolic of humanity overcoming it's primitive nature and growing up as a species. This advancement is painted in ponies, but it is ultimately a triumph of the human spirit.

->TCB is a call to every reader that it is possible to make a better world, but we are not there yet. We can make paradise, if we are willing to change so as to deserve it.

->"Now, there's nothing wrong with turning into a pony. [[NotHimself You lose that 'human nature' that keeps you greedy and selfish, and you become more carefree and friendly.]]"
-->-- '''Twilight Sparkle'''

->"In my stories [[TheRightOfASuperiorSpecies superior beings - truly superior beings - can do things that if a lesser being, like a human, were to do, it would indeed be evil.]]"
-->-- '''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

->"CB is a universe where ponies are xenophobic, racist, parasitical bastards with a [[BalefulPolymorph penchant for using potions that convert people]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul into mindless pony-shaped drones]], the Princesses are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s that only ''look'' like ponies, magic is harmful to humans (''[[PunyEarthlings and only humans]]'') and [[MarySuetopia ponies live perfectly happy lives for centuries in which nothing bad is allowed to happen]].

->Meanwhile, [[CrapsackWorld Earth]] is run by [[CorruptCorporateExecutive greedy, sleazy, corrupt fatass fuckwads]] and is full of [[AxeCrazy kill-happy murderers]], [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil rapists]], [[StrawmanPolitical fanatics]], [[TooDumbToLive jackasses]], [[JerkAss assholes]], [[HumansAreMorons idiots]], [[OmnicidalManiac mass murderers]], [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot kill-happy murderbot transhuman cyborgs]], [[AIIsACrapshoot murderous malfunctioning AI's]], [[TerroristsWithoutACause terrorists]], [[LesCollaborateurs traitors]], [[FantasticRacism bigots]], [[PsychoForHire blood-thirsty mercenaries]], [[ANaziByAnyOtherName jackbooted tyrants]], [[CompleteMonster complete and utter monsters]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking whiners]]. Every single human the writers bother to give any amount of screentime is an unrepentantly evil bastard that EatsBabies, [[ObviouslyEvil farts Anthrax XXL, has an evily tiny moustache]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking parts their hair sideways]] [[ObviouslyEvil and has "unrepenting evil bastard" written into their DNA]], except those who convert into glorious pony form, who are simply "misguided" and have "ascended into a higher state of being".

->Also, the Earth is dying, [[HumansAreBastards it's our fault]] and we must bow down to the [[CantArgueWithElves mighty ponies]] who will fix everything ever.

->By the way, the more prolific and notorious author has gone on record that the Princesses are '''''commiting genocide''''' in her stories, but it's ''totally fine'' because it's a [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveSupernaturalPowers goddess]] that's doing it. She also believes that the question "Why?" is an attack on your person.

->Now excuse me, for I must burn down an orphanage while laughing and twirling my [[DastardlyWhiplash Snidely Whiplash moustache]], obtain a new monocle and hat from a bunch of blokes who use cancer patient labour, beat a child to death with "Why?"'s, feast on the souls of the hopeless and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking talk loudly on the cellphone in a cinema]]."
-->--'''Dalek Ix'''

->"Damn it, I have absolutely NO idea who to cheer for! On one hand, we have the xenophobic racist abominations of nature that violate almost every law and convention that exists, and [[BaitAndSwitchComparison on the other hand, we have the Draka!]]"
-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "Spacebattle's opinion on a hypothetical Draka vs TCB scenario"]].

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"TCB stories exist to explore what it means to be human, and how being human could be made better by embodying the lessons of My Little Pony: kindness, loyalty, laughter, honesty, generosity, and the magic that is friendship. Understanding. Compassion for others. Gentleness and love, as opposed to violence and hatred.

->All of this is done within a 'Blade Runner meets My Little Pony' scenario, done up as a disaster movie, where humanity is tested and must change to survive. It is smartly a representation of the challenges humanity now faces in a world of war, hunger, pollution and corporate rulership.

->TCB is celebrated by intelligent adults who comprehend that 'ponification' is symbolic of humanity overcoming it's primitive nature and growing up as a species. This advancement is painted in ponies, but it is ultimately a triumph of the human spirit.

->TCB is a call to every reader that it is possible to make a better world, but we are not there yet. We can make paradise, if we are willing to change so as to deserve it.

-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"The amount of creativity blooming from this one world made by Blaze is astounding. The stories range from emotional stories of ruin and love, to resistance and war, and even mystery and suspense. Keep it up bronies!"
-->--'''Windchaser'''

->"Now, there's nothing wrong with turning into a pony. [[NotHimself You lose that 'human nature' that keeps you greedy and selfish, and you become more carefree and friendly.]]"
-->-- '''Twilight Sparkle'''

->"In my stories [[TheRightOfASuperiorSpecies superior beings - truly superior beings - can do things that if a lesser being, like a human, were to do, it would indeed be evil.]]"
-->-- '''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

->"CB is a universe where ponies are xenophobic, racist, parasitical bastards with a [[BalefulPolymorph penchant for using potions that convert people]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul into mindless pony-shaped drones]], the Princesses are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s that only ''look'' like ponies, magic is harmful to humans (''[[PunyEarthlings and only humans]]'') and [[MarySuetopia ponies live perfectly happy lives for centuries in which nothing bad is allowed to happen]].

->Meanwhile, [[CrapsackWorld Earth]] is run by [[CorruptCorporateExecutive greedy, sleazy, corrupt fatass fuckwads]] and is full of [[AxeCrazy kill-happy murderers]], [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil rapists]], [[StrawmanPolitical fanatics]], [[TooDumbToLive jackasses]], [[JerkAss assholes]], [[HumansAreMorons idiots]], [[OmnicidalManiac mass murderers]], [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot kill-happy murderbot transhuman cyborgs]], [[AIIsACrapshoot murderous malfunctioning AI's]], [[TerroristsWithoutACause terrorists]], [[LesCollaborateurs traitors]], [[FantasticRacism bigots]], [[PsychoForHire blood-thirsty mercenaries]], [[ANaziByAnyOtherName jackbooted tyrants]], [[CompleteMonster complete and utter monsters]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking whiners]]. Every single human the writers bother to give any amount of screentime is an unrepentantly evil bastard that EatsBabies, [[ObviouslyEvil farts Anthrax XXL, has an evily tiny moustache]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking parts their hair sideways]] [[ObviouslyEvil and has "unrepenting evil bastard" written into their DNA]], except those who convert into glorious pony form, who are simply "misguided" and have "ascended into a higher state of being".

->Also, the Earth is dying, [[HumansAreBastards it's our fault]] and we must bow down to the [[CantArgueWithElves mighty ponies]] who will fix everything ever.

->By the way, the more prolific and notorious author has gone on record that the Princesses are '''''commiting genocide''''' in her stories, but it's ''totally fine'' because it's a [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveSupernaturalPowers goddess]] that's doing it. She also believes that the question "Why?" is an attack on your person.

->Now excuse me, for I must burn down an orphanage while laughing and twirling my [[DastardlyWhiplash Snidely Whiplash moustache]], obtain a new monocle and hat from a bunch of blokes who use cancer patient labour, beat a child to death with "Why?"'s, feast on the souls of the hopeless and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking talk loudly on the cellphone in a cinema]]."
-->--'''Dalek Ix'''

->"Damn it, I have absolutely NO idea who to cheer for! On one hand, we have the xenophobic racist abominations of nature that violate almost every law and convention that exists, and [[BaitAndSwitchComparison on the other hand, we have the Draka!]]"
-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "Spacebattle's opinion on a hypothetical Draka vs TCB scenario"]].

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"TCB stories exist to explore what it means to be human, and how being human could be made better by embodying the lessons of My Little Pony: kindness, loyalty, laughter, honesty, generosity, and the magic that is friendship. Understanding. Compassion for others. Gentleness and love, as opposed to violence and hatred.

->All of this is done within a 'Blade Runner meets My Little Pony' scenario, done up as a disaster movie, where humanity is tested and must change to survive. It is smartly a representation of the challenges humanity now faces in a world of war, hunger, pollution and corporate rulership.

->TCB is celebrated by intelligent adults who comprehend that 'ponification' is symbolic of humanity overcoming it's primitive nature and growing up as a species. This advancement is painted in ponies, but it is ultimately a triumph of the human spirit.

->TCB is a call to every reader that it is possible to make a better world, but we are not there yet. We can make paradise, if we are willing to change so as to deserve it.

-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"The amount of creativity blooming from this one world made by Blaze is astounding. The stories range from emotional stories of ruin and love, to resistance and war, and even mystery and suspense. Keep it up bronies!"
-->--'''Windchaser'''