History Quotes / TheConversionBureau

->"Now, there's nothing wrong with turning into a pony. [[NotHimself You lose that 'human nature' that keeps you greedy and selfish, and you become more carefree and friendly.]]"
-->-- '''Twilight Sparkle'''

->"In my stories [[TheRightOfASuperiorSpecies superior beings - truly superior beings - can do things that if a lesser being, like a human, were to do, it would indeed be evil.]]"
-->-- '''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

->"CB is a universe where ponies are xenophobic, racist, parasitical bastards with a [[BalefulPolymorph penchant for using potions that convert people]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul into mindless pony-shaped drones]], the Princesses are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s that only ''look'' like ponies, magic is harmful to humans (''[[PunyEarthlings and only humans]]'') and [[MarySuetopia ponies live perfectly happy lives for centuries in which nothing bad is allowed to happen]].

->Meanwhile, [[CrapsackWorld Earth]] is run by [[CorruptCorporateExecutive greedy, sleazy, corrupt fatass fuckwads]] and is full of [[AxeCrazy kill-happy murderers]], [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil rapists]], [[StrawmanPolitical fanatics]], [[TooDumbToLive jackasses]], [[JerkAss assholes]], [[HumansAreMorons idiots]], [[OmnicidalManiac mass murderers]], [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot kill-happy murderbot transhuman cyborgs]], [[AIIsACrapshoot murderous malfunctioning AI's]], [[TerroristsWithoutACause terrorists]], [[LesCollaborateurs traitors]], [[FantasticRacism bigots]], [[PsychoForHire blood-thirsty mercenaries]], [[ANaziByAnyOtherName jackbooted tyrants]], [[CompleteMonster complete and utter monsters]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking whiners]]. Every single human the writers bother to give any amount of screentime is an unrepentantly evil bastard that EatsBabies, [[ObviouslyEvil farts Anthrax XXL, has an evily tiny moustache]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking parts their hair sideways]] [[ObviouslyEvil and has "unrepenting evil bastard" written into their DNA]], except those who convert into glorious pony form, who are simply "misguided" and have "ascended into a higher state of being".

->Also, the Earth is dying, [[HumansAreBastards it's our fault]] and we must bow down to the [[CantArgueWithElves mighty ponies]] who will fix everything ever.

->By the way, the more prolific and notorious author has gone on record that the Princesses are '''''commiting genocide''''' in her stories, but it's ''totally fine'' because it's a [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveSupernaturalPowers goddess]] that's doing it. She also believes that the question "Why?" is an attack on your person.

->Now excuse me, for I must burn down an orphanage while laughing and twirling my [[DastardlyWhiplash Snidely Whiplash moustache]], obtain a new monocle and hat from a bunch of blokes who use cancer patient labour, beat a child to death with "Why?"'s, feast on the souls of the hopeless and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking talk loudly on the cellphone in a cinema]]."
-->--'''Dalek Ix'''

->"Damn it, I have absolutely NO idea who to cheer for! On one hand, we have the xenophobic racist abominations of nature that violate almost every law and convention that exists, and [[BaitAndSwitchComparison on the other hand, we have the Draka!]]"
-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "Spacebattle's opinion on a hypothetical Draka vs TCB scenario"]].

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"Originating from the fantasy backdrop of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, the Conversion Bureau stories have taken that world into the realms of science fantasy and even hard core science fiction. Stories comedic, dramatic, horrifying and filled with wonder and awe have derived from the premise of the Conversion Bureau."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"Sometimes a story gets written that just inspires others to create. The show itself taught us that, so it's hardly surprising that the worlds spawned from it can themselves lead to more amazing stories. The world of the Conversion Bureaus is one such."
-->-- '''Equestria Daily'''

->"TCB stories exist to explore what it means to be human, and how being human could be made better by embodying the lessons of My Little Pony: kindness, loyalty, laughter, honesty, generosity, and the magic that is friendship. Understanding. Compassion for others. Gentleness and love, as opposed to violence and hatred.

->All of this is done within a 'Blade Runner meets My Little Pony' scenario, done up as a disaster movie, where humanity is tested and must change to survive. It is smartly a representation of the challenges humanity now faces in a world of war, hunger, pollution and corporate rulership.

->TCB is celebrated by intelligent adults who comprehend that 'ponification' is symbolic of humanity overcoming it's primitive nature and growing up as a species. This advancement is painted in ponies, but it is ultimately a triumph of the human spirit.

->TCB is hated by narcissistic minds whose egos are personally threatened by the notion that there could be anything better than man as he is now, or the suggestion that man is not perfect or good. When it is shown to them clearly what a better life would actually look like, it makes them uncomfortable, because then they feel as if someone has said they themselves are bad for not already living up to that.

->TCB is a call to every reader that it is possible to make a better world, but we are not there yet. We can make paradise, if we are willing to change so as to deserve it.

->Those that hate the TCB, hate it ultimately, beyond the rhetoric, because it suggests that we, as a species, do not deserve paradise yet, and need to work harder. Children think like that - that they deserve everything without effort, or that they are perfect just the way they are, the little snowflakes.

->TCB stories say no, you are not a perfect little snowflake, and man is not perfect, and we have a ways to go - but that everything can change as quick as potion, if only one can change their mind and turn away from loving violence, greed, selfishness and the enjoyment of hurting others. One choice, one change of mind, and the goodness of Equestria could become real. If we want to.

->This is why TCB is seen as misanthropic: it does not blindly show humanity as gods already, perfect of form, and perfect of soul, and facing the truth that we are just hairless apes with a LONG way to go hurts those raised to believe they are perfect snowflakes.

->It really is an 'age' thing - older people, who have seen life, who know hardship, tend to like TCB. The very young, raised to think themselves Indigo Children, perfect and filled with ageless wisdom from being snowflakes hate the TCB, because it says, clearly, that they are just humans, like the rest of everyone."
-->-- '''Chatoyance'''

->"The amount of creativity blooming from this one world made by Blaze is astounding. The stories range from emotional stories of ruin and love, to resistance and war, and even mystery and suspense. Keep it up bronies!"
-->--'''Windchaser'''

->"Damn it, I have absolutely NO idea who to cheer for! On one hand, we have the xenophobic racist abominations of nature that violate almost every law and convention that exists, and [[BaitAndSwitchComparison on the other hand, we have the Draka!]]"
-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "Spacebattle's opinion on a hypothetical Draka vs TCB scenario"]].

->"CB is a universe where ponies are xenophobic, racist, parasitical bastards with a [[BalefulPolymorph penchant for using potions that convert people]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul into mindless pony-shaped drones]], the Princesses are {{Eldritch Abomination}}s that only ''look'' like ponies, magic is harmful to humans (''[[PunyEarthlings and only humans]]'') and [[MarySuetopia ponies live perfectly happy lives for centuries in which nothing bad is allowed to happen]].

->Meanwhile, [[CrapsackWorld Earth]] is run by [[CorruptCorporateExecutive greedy, sleazy, corrupt fatass fuckwads]] and is full of [[AxeCrazy kill-happy murderers]], [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil rapists]], [[StrawmanPolitical fanatics]], [[TooDumbToLive jackasses]], [[JerkAss assholes]], [[HumansAreMorons idiots]], [[OmnicidalManiac mass murderers]], [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot kill-happy murderbot transhuman cyborgs]], [[AIIsACrapshoot murderous malfunctioning AI's]], [[TerroristsWithoutACause terrorists]], [[LesCollaborateurs traitors]], [[FantasticRacism bigots]], [[PsychoForHire blood-thirsty mercenaries]], [[ANaziByAnyOtherName jackbooted tyrants]], [[CompleteMonster complete and utter monsters]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking whiners]]. Every single human the writers bother to give any amount of screentime is an unrepentantly evil bastard that EatsBabies, [[ObviouslyEvil farts Anthrax XXL, has an evily tiny moustache]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking parts their hair sideways]] [[ObviouslyEvil and has "unrepenting evil bastard" written into their DNA]], except those who convert into glorious pony form, who are simply "misguided" and have "ascended into a higher state of being".

->Also, the Earth is dying, [[HumansAreBastards it's our fault]] and we must bow down to the [[CantArgueWithElves mighty ponies]] who will fix everything ever.

->By the way, the more prolific and notorious author has gone on record that the Princesses are '''''commiting genocide''''' in her stories, but it's ''totally fine'' because it's a [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveSupernaturalPowers goddess]] that's doing it. She also believes that the question "Why?" is an attack on your person.

->Now excuse me, for I must burn down an orphanage while laughing and twirling my [[DastardlyWhiplash Snidely Whiplash moustache]], obtain a new monocle and hat from a bunch of blokes who use cancer patient labour, beat a child to death with "Why?"'s, feast on the souls of the hopeless and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking talk loudly on the cellphone in a cinema]]."
-->--'''Dalek Ix'''

->"Now, there's nothing wrong with turning into a pony. [[NotHimself You lose that 'human nature' that keeps you greedy and selfish, and you become more carefree and friendly.]]"
-->-- '''Twilight Sparkle'''

->"In my stories [[TheRightOfASuperiorSpecies superior beings - truly superior beings - can do things that if a lesser being, like a human, were to do, it would indeed be evil.]]"
-->-- '''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "A post showing Spacebattle's opinion on a hypothetical Conversion Bureau versus Draka scenario"]].

-->--[[http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mlp-fim-the-conversion-bureau-story-idea-thread.235035/page-60#post-8947682 "A post showing Spacebattle's opinion on The Conversion Bureau"]].

->"Damn it, I have absolutely NO idea who to cheer for! On one hand, we have the xenophobic racist abominations of nature that violate almost every law and convention that exists, and on the other hand, we have the Draka!"

-->--'''The Moiderah Of Ponies''', on ''The Conversion Bureau''

->"The Conversion Bureau. Because [[NotHimself losing your]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul personality,]] [[BalefulPolymorph bodies,]] and [[EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt planet]] is a [[MoralDissonance perfectly acceptable thing!"]]
-->--'''The Moiderah of Writing'''

-->--'''Ergo''', on ''The Big Respawn''

-->--'''Ergo'''

-->--'''The Moiderah of Writing'''

->"CB is a universe where ponies are xenophobic, racist, parasitical bastards with a [[BalefulPolymorph penchant for using potions that convert people]] [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul into mindless pony-shaped drones]], the Princesses are {{EldritchAbomination}}s that only ''look'' like ponies, magic is harmful to humans (''[[PunyEarthlings and only humans]]'') and [[MarySuetopia ponies live perfectly happy lives for centuries in which nothing bad is allowed to happen]].

->"In my stories superior beings - truly superior beings - can do things that if a lesser being, like a human, were to do, it would indeed be evil."

-->--'''Dalek Ix'''

->Now excuse me, for I must burn down an orphanage while laughing and twirling my [[DastardlyWhiplash Snidely Whiplash moustache]], obtain a new monocle and hat from a bunch of blokes who use cancer patient labour, beat a child to death with "Why?"'s, feast on the souls of the hopeless and talk loudly on the cellphone in a cinema."

->"It's funny, how these stories and these authors can give perfectly rational people the overwhelming desire to blow up the pretty pastel ponies of [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic their favorite show]] from orbit."

->"It's funny, how these stories and these authors can give perfectly rational people the overwhelming desire to blow up the pretty pastel ponies of [[MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic their favorite show]] from orbit."

-->-- '''Starman Ghost'''

-->--'''[[WordOfGod Blaze]]'''

-->--'''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

-->--'''Starman Ghost'''

-->--'''Jennifer Diane Reitz (Chatoyance)'''

-->--'''[[WordOfGod Blaze]]'''

->"I've seen a lot of backstories written about how Equestria is simply a post-apocalyptic Earth set in the distant future. [[HillariousInHindsight I decided to expand on it in a much less...grimdark fashion.]]"

-->-- '''Rainbow Dash'''