History Quotes / SolveTheSoupCans

->''"Now, whoever created this box is just some filthy fuckin' degenerate. There are ''four'' locks on this box. The first key is on some creepy hole outta the wall with slime comin' out of it; the second key is this diarrhea toilet...You're in a padded cell and it's [[CouldntFindAPen written with blood on the w]]--oh no. This is the guy. This is the guy who made CAPTCHA . After he was '''[[AcceptableTargets put in jail]]''' for makin' CAPTCHA."''

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah "Spoony One" Antwiler]]''', ''Let's Play VideoGame/Phantasmagoria2''

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''VideoGame/FridayThe13th'' (NES}

->''You answer the phone in a hard boiled manner. You explain to the woman gruffly that you'd love to help her out, sweetheart, but you're up to your neck in all this weird puzzle shit. You hang up.''
-->-- '''''Webcomic/ProblemSleuth'''''

-->-- '''''Webcomic/PennyArcade'''''

-->-- '''''Webcomic/PennyArcade'''''

-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}'''''

->"Keys! Codes! Cards! Parts! Chips! Shit. This isn't ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' with dinosaurs. It's ''{{VideoGame/Myst}}''--with {{tank controls}}!"
-->--'''''Stop Skeletons From Fighting''''' on ''VideoGame/DinoCrisis''

->"Now, whoever created this box is just some filthy fuckin' degenerate. There are ''four'' locks on this box. The first key is on some creepy hole outta the wall with slime comin' out of it; the second key is this diarrhea toilet...You're in a padded cell and it's [[CouldntFindAPen written with blood on the w]]--oh no. This is the guy. This is the guy who made CAPTCHA . After he was '''[[AcceptableTargets put in jail]]''' for makin' CAPTCHA."

->"That's what makes this game so great: it's free from all logic."

->"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic was the punchline."

->"So you've got this letter that you desperately want your son to read... So your plan is to type up a letter and then conceal it in some rusty tool box, bolting a tray over it, and then concealing the tool box in a disused supply closet in the back corner of Wyn Tech's network server room, and then counting on your son to for no real reason grow oddly-interested in the supply closet, so much so that he sneaks into your evil boss's office -- the one who murdered you, by the way -- and steal a key from him, going inside and then getting strangely interested in a tool box, searching that and finding your letter. Dad, have you ever heard of a safety deposit box?"
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah "Spoony One" Antwiler]]''', ''Let's Play VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

->"For a point-and-click, the puzzles are surprisingly logical... Uh, except for one part where I had to put shoes on a ladder. Which is actually the only time in the whole game where you combine two items from your inventory; I didn't even know this was a mechanic, let alone to [[RageBreakingPoint fucking put]] ''[[RageBreakingPoint SHOES ON A-]]''"

->[[VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica Code: Veronica]]'' has you find a player piano roll in a surgical torture dungeon to unlock the death camp's casino's slot machine to get an ant statue to activate a music box to trigger the secret bed-ladder to a carousel. You haven't gone [[CurseOfBabel aphasic]], Capcom just randomly picked words from a dictionary instead of writing them ''

->''During the 90's we had a glut of dull adventure games where solving the puzzles required diagnosing the mental illness of the game designer. Playing them was like watching a fifteen minute movie, ten seconds at a time. And you're not allowed to see the next fifteen seconds until you can guess the writer's [[Eatsbabies favorite flavor of baby.]]''

->"Keys! Codes! Cards! Parts! Chips! Shit. This isn't ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' with dinosaurs. It's ''{{VideoGame/Myst}}''--with tank controls!"

->"So you've got this letter that you desperately want your son to read... So your plan is to type up a letter and then conceal it in some rusty tool box, bolting a tray over it, and then concealing the tool box in a disused supply closet in the back corner of Wyn Tech's network server room, and then counting on your son to for no real reason grow oddly-interested in the supply closet, so much so that he sneaks into your evil boss's office -- the one who murdered you, by the way -- and steal a key from him, going inside and then getting strangely interested in a tool box, searching that and finding your letter. Dad, have you ever heard of a safety deposit box?"
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah "Spoony One" Antwiler]]''', ''Let's Play VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

->'''pipes!:''' I'd really, like, hate to make a sandwich in [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]] land. Have to fight a boar, push a block onto a peg, which, I dunno, unlocks a door, which allows me to get mayonnaise.
->'''Maxwell Adams:''' You'd have to rescue a monkey just so you can get the bread knife.
->'''Evek:''' You'd have to make the bread.
->'''pipes!:''' Through a series of three minigames that are completely unrelated to wheat or flour.
->'''Ferr:''' Well, you have to get one item and then bring it to somebody, and then they'll give you an item and you bring it to someone and they give you honey-baked ham.
->'''Evek:''' And you have to unfreeze their oven.
-->--'''The LetsPlay/FreelanceAstronauts''' discuss this trope.

->''"I'm not usually one who's given to moan,\\
But I've had nothing but trouble with my new summer home\\
It seemed like a steal, with its lake view most spiffy,\\
But when I asked for the key, things began to turn iffy\\
'Cause they gave me three statues all covered in gore,\\
And said to arrange them beside the front door\\
To unlock the house, but I think I was scammed,\\
Because [[Franchise/SilentHill half of the doors still seem to be jammed]]"''
-->-- '''Creator/{{Yahtzee}}''', ''[[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jim-yahtzees-rhymedown-spectacular/7834-House-on-the-Hill House on the Hill]]''

->"Keys! Codes! Cards! Parts! Chips! Shit. This isn't ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' with dinosaurs. It's ''{{VideoGame/Myst}}''--with tank controls!"
-->--'''''Stop Skeletons From Fighting''''' on ''VideoGame/DinoCrisis''

->"Now, whoever created this box is just some filthy fuckin' degenerate. There are ''four'' locks on this box. The first key is on some creepy hole outta the wall with slime comin' out of it; the second key is this diarrhea toilet...You're in a padded cell and it's [[CouldntFindAPen written with blood on the w]]--oh no. This is the guy. This is the guy who made CAPTCHA . After he was '''[[AcceptableTargets put in jail]]''' for makin' CAPTCHA."
-->--'''[[{{LetsPlay/Videogamedunkey}} Dunkey]]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g3CjQv5yec plays]] ''VideoGame/SilentHill2''

->''During the 90's we had a glut of dull adventure games where solving the puzzles required diagnosing the mental illness of the game designer. Playing them was like watching a fifteen minute movie, ten seconds at a time. And you're not allowed to see the next fifteen seconds until you can guess the writer's favorite flavor of baby.''

->"[[SarcasmMode That's what makes this game so great: it's free from all logic.]]"

->[[VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica Code: Veronica]]'' has you find a player piano roll in a surgical torture dungeon to unlock the death camp's casino's slot machine to get an ant statue to activate a music box to trigger the secret bed-ladder to a carousel. You haven't gone [[CurseOfBabel aphasic]], Capcom just randomly picked words from a dictionary instead of writing them ''
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}'''''

->"That's what makes this game so great: it's free from all logic."
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''Friday the 13th'' (NES}

->"So you've got this letter that you desperately want your son to read... So your plan is to type up a letter and then conceal it in some rusty tool box, bolting a tray over it, and then concealing the tool box in a disused supply closet in the back corner of Wyn Tech's network server room, and then counting on your son to for no real reason grow oddly-interested in the supply closet, so much so that he sneaks into your evil boss's office--the one who murdered you, by the way--and steal a key from him, going inside and then getting strangely interested in a tool box, searching that and finding your letter. Dad, have you ever heard of a safety deposit box?"

It seemed like a steal, with its [[Franchise/SilentHill lake view]] most spiffy,\\
But when I asked for the key, things [[HonestJohnsDealership began to turn iffy]]\\

Because [[InsurmountableWaistHighFence half of the doors still seem to be jammed]]"''

->"Now, whoever created dis box is just some filthy fuckin' degenerate. There are ''four'' locks on this box. The first key is on some creepy hole outta the wall with slime comin' out of it; the second key is this diarrhea toilet...You're in a padded cell and it's [[CouldntFindAPen written with blood on the w]]--oh no. This is the guy. This is the guy who made CAPTCHA . After he was '''[[AcceptableTargets put in jail]]''' for makin' CAPTCHA."

->Keys! Codes! Cards! Parts! Chips! Shit. This isn't ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'' with dinosaurs. It's ''{{VideoGame/Myst}}''...with tank controls!

->Now, whoever created dis box is jus' some filthy fuckin' degenerate. There are ''four'' locks on this box. Da first key is on some creepy hole outta the wall wit' slime comin' out of it; the second key is this diarrhea toilet...now da third one is where shit gets fuck, ok? You're in a padded cell and it's written with blood on the w--oh no. Dis is da guy. Dis is da guy who made CAPTCHA . After he was '''[[AcceptableTargets put in jail]]''' for makin' CAPTCHA.

->''"You answer the phone in a hard boiled manner. You explain to the woman gruffly that you'd love to help her out, sweetheart, but you're up to your neck in all this weird puzzle shit. You hang up."''

->''"During the 90's we had a glut of dull adventure games where solving the puzzles required diagnosing the mental illness of the game designer. Playing them was like watching a fifteen minute movie, ten seconds at a time. And you're not allowed to see the next fifteen seconds until you can guess the writer's favorite flavor of baby."''

->''"That's what makes this game so great - it's free from all logic!"''

->''"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic [[TrollingCreator was the punchline.]] But expecting the player to think laterally enough to piece together these surreal puzzles was their Achilles' Heel. And if ''Broken Age'' is intended as a way for older adventure fans to show their kids what that was like, then it's gonna come off as more of a [[NostalgiaFilter rude awakening]] of what customers never liked about adventure gaming in the first place."''

->''"I submit that ''[VideoGame/ProfessorLayton]'' is a "Logic Opera." The game is beautiful, things are ''happening''... But every person you meet breaks into 'puzzle' the way that viking ladies tend to break into song, out of nowhere, and now you're riddling out some [[https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/02/13 jackhole's insane chicken scratches]]."''
-->-- '''WebComic/PennyArcade''', ''[[https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2008/02/14/professor-layton-and-the-perpetual-torment Professer Layton and the Perpetual Torment]]''

->''"''[[VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica Code: Veronica]]'' has you find a player piano roll in a surgical torture dungeon to unlock the death camp's casino's slot machine to get an ant statue to activate a music box to trigger the secret bed-ladder to a carousel. You haven't gone [[CurseOfBabel aphasic]], Capcom just randomly picked words from a dictionary instead of writing them."''

->''"Here's my question: So you've got this letter that you desperately want your son to read... So your plan is to type up a letter and then conceal it in some rusty tool box, bolting a tray over it, and then concealing the tool box in a disused supply closet in the back corner of Wyn Tech's network server room, and then counting on your son to for no real reason grow oddly interested in the supply closet, so much so that he sneaks into your evil boss's office--the one who murdered you, by the way--and steal a key from him, going inside and then getting strangely interested in a tool box, searching that and finding your letter. Dad, have you ever heard of a '''safety deposit box?'''"''

->''"I submit that ''[VideoGame/ProfessorLayton]'' is a "Logic Opera." The game is beautiful, things are happening... But every person you meet breaks into 'puzzle' the way that viking ladies tend to break into song, out of nowhere, and now you're riddling out some jackhole's insane chicken scratches."''
-->-- '''Tycho'''

->Keys! Codes! Cards! Parts! Chips! Shit. This isn't ''ResidentEvil'' with dinosaurs. It's ''{{VideoGame/Myst}}''...with tank controls!

->Now, whoever created dis box is jus' some filthy fuckin' degenerate. There are ''four'' locks on this box. Da first key is on some creepy hole outta the wall wit' slime comin' out of it; the second key is this diarrhea toilet...now da third one is where shit gets fuck, ok? You're in a padded cell and it's written with blood on the w--oh no. Dis is da guy. Dis is da guy who made CAPTCHA . After he was '''[[AcceptableTargets put in jail]]''' for makin' CAPTCHA .

'''David''': Because [[ComicBook/TheNewGods Orion]] was apparently Creator/ShigeruMiyamoto.

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah "Spoony One" Antwiler]]''', ''Let's Play {{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

->''"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic [[TrollingCreator was the punchline.]] But expecting the player to think laterally enough to piece together these surreal puzzles was their Achilles' Heel. And if ''Broken Age'' is intended as a way for older adventure fans to show their kids what that was like, then it's gonna come off as more of a [[NostalgiaFilter rude awakening]] of what customers never liked about adventure gaming in the first place."

->''"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic was the punchline. But expecting the player to think laterally enough to piece together these surreal puzzles was their Achilles' Heel. And if ''Broken Age'' is intended as a way for older adventure fans to show their kids what that was like, then it's gonna come off as more of a [[NostalgiaFilter rude awakening]] of what customers never liked about adventure gaming in the first place. Just two years after the swan song of ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'' both exceeded and failed for the same reasons ''Broken Age'' might, Erik Wolpaw wrote that it wasn't the skyrocketing appeal of fast-paced ''{{VideoGame/Quake}}'' clones that killed off adventure games; rather, adventure games [[DeadHorseTrope killed themselves]]. Because of'' '''puzzles.'''"

->''"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic was the punchline. But expecting the player to think laterally enough to piece together these surreal puzzles was their Achilles' Heel. And if ''Broken Age'' is intended as a way for older adventure fans to show their kids what that was like, then it's gonna come off as more of a [[NostalgiaFilter rude awakening]] of what customers never liked about adventure gaming in the first place. Just two years after the swan song of ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'' both exceeded and failed for the same reasons ''Broken Age'' might, Erik Wolpaw wrote that it wasn't the skyrocketing appeal of fast-paced ''{{VideoGame/Quake}}'' clones that killed off adventure games; rather, adventure games [[DeadHorseTrope killed themselves]]. With'' '''puzzles.'''"

->''"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic was the punchline. But expecting the player to think laterally enough to piece together these surreal puzzles was their Achilles' Heel. And if ''Broken Age'' is intended as a way for older adventure fans to show their kids what that was like, then it's gonna come off as more of a [[NostalgiaFilter rude awakening]] of what customers never liked about adventure gaming in the first place. Just two years after the swan song of ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'' both exceeded and failed for the same reasons ''Broken Age'' might, Eric Wolpaw wrote that it wasn't the skyrocketing appeal of fast-paced ''{{VideoGame/Quake}}'' clones that killed off adventure games. Rather, adventure games [[DeadHorseTrope killed themselves]]. With'' '''puzzles.'''"

->''"I submit that [''ProfessorLayton''] is a "Logic Opera." The game is beautiful, things are happening... But every person you meet breaks into 'puzzle' the way that viking ladies tend to break into song, out of nowhere, and now you're riddling out some jackhole's insane chicken scratches."''

->''"That's what makes this game so great - it's free from all logic!"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''Friday the 13th'' (NES}

->''"Adventure game puzzles were always a joke; the sheer absurdity of their logic was the punchline. But expecting the player to think laterally enough to piece together these surreal puzzles was their Achilles' Heel. And if ''Broken Age'' is intended as a way for older adventure fans to show their kids what that was like, then it's gonna come off as more of a [[NostalgiaFilter rude awakening]] of what customers never liked about adventure gaming in the first place. Just two years after the swan song of ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'' both exceeded and failed for the same reasons ''Broken Age'' might, Eric Wolpaw wrote that it wasn't the skyrocketing appeal of fast-paced ''{{VideoGame/Quake}}'' clones that killed off adventure games. Rather, adventure games killed themselves. With'' '''puzzles.'''"
-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPz-dAgXS1s George Weidman]]''' on ''VideoGame/BrokenAge''