History Quotes / SexSells

-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-stupidest-video-game-school-commercials/#ixzz31qKEKHvZ "The 6 Stupidest Video Game Commercials"]]

[[folder:literature]]

[[folder:live-action tv]]

[[folder:magazines]]

[[folder:music]]

[[folder:stand-up comedy]]

[[folder:Web original]]

[[folder:western animation]]

[[folder:real life]]

->In a mere 15 seconds, the school makes it clear that they know nothing about gaming and less about women... Speaking of video games, [[XBoxOne that one]] will probably work better if [[CriticalResearchFailure you turn the controller on]].

->'''Jeff:''' There’s such a long history, in this country certainly, but I imagine all over the world of just like: Here’s a girl next to a thing we’re trying to sell you! *Dumbass!* You’re an idiot. You’ll be fooled by this. You fuckin’ *rube*. Look at this car! These ladies are laying on this car! You should buy this car! Maybe ladies will lay on *your* car.\\

->'''Dan:''' I need to get to work, these ladies gotta get off my car!\\
->'''Jeff:''' Yeah, like I’m late here, this is not safe. Tawny Kitaen, please get off my car.
-->-- ''[[GiantBombcast Podcast/GiantBomb]]''

-->-- '''LilyAllen''', ''"The Fear"''

-->--''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoII'' radio advert

2) A round of applause goes to the editors who showed an enormous level of restraint by not reversing the order of the words so that it read ''“Inside Kim“''. Or maybe they did, but the second the first copy came out of the printer, [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Kris Jenner]] appeared through a fiery hole in the floor and demanded a cut of the profits from people who bought the magazine expecting to find porn.

-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/07/01/kim-kardashian-doesnt-kare-about-being-objectified/ Michael K.]]''', "Kim Doesn't Kare About Being Objwectified"

->Well, it’s official. Music/BetteMidler is my tia who tells my cousins to pull down their skirts and stop running around looking like prostitutas...Bette is right about Music/ArianaGrande. Ariana looks like she’s 12 and she’s always done up like a toddler [[Film/SpaceJam Lola Bunny]], so when she starts bringing the sex, I don’t know whether to laugh or scream for the authorities.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/11/25/bette-midlers-pro-tip-for-ariana-grande-latte-stop-whoring-it-up-to-get-ahead/ Michael K.]]'''

->Well, it’s official. Music/BetteMidler is my tia who tells my cousins to pull down their skirts and stop running around looking like prostitutas...Bette is right about Music/ArianaGrande. Ariana looks like she’s 12 and she’s always done up like a toddler [[SpaceJam Lola Bunny]], so when she starts bringing the sex, I don’t know whether to laugh or scream for the authorities.

->I always said that there were two things I wouldn't do: I won't do [[GirlOnGirlIsHot any lesbian stuff]] ('cause that's not my deal), and I'm not gonna get naked. --Well, [[WardrobeMalfunction I got naked by accident]], so... (laughs) Our demographic was 18-35-year-old males. Of course we're gonna do something like that. And I'd always wear [[DangerouslyShortSkirt the little skirt]] so it can pop up. Or, if you didn't have a skirt on: my favorite was you'd pull them like you're gonna give them a piledriver, and you [[{{Wedgie}} stick the hand down, and you pull up the thong]] you and give 'em a spanking. We always incorporated sex into everything because sex sells.

->That’s what it takes, apparently, to sell a book about [[MostCommonSuperpower female superheroes]]. Or [[EvilIsSexy female supervillains]]. Or, in many cases, female anything.\\\
That’s what it takes to sell female recording artists. And female actors. Hell, that’s even what it takes to sell a lot of [[UsefulNotes/SarahPalin female politicians]].\\\
After I’ve seen enough of photos, covers, posters, and promotional materials like these, lines about how ‘being tough AND sexy’ is admirable and how ‘beauty and sexiness are assets’ fall flat. Beauty isn’t an asset. Beauty is a requirement.\\\
Because, I guess, if she’s not sexy, why bother dealing with her? There’s no reason to listen to the words coming out of an unattractive woman’s mouth. There’s no reason to be interested in the adventures of a woman unless the word ‘erotic’ is slipped in there, however subtly. There’s no reason to draw a regular woman if you can draw a sexy one.

->Carl’s Jr. wants you to think of big ole titty sex when you think of their restaurants. It produces a desire to consume their burgers greater than the previous association with arteriosclerosis and irradiated giant sized ants...This indirect association with sex I don’t fully understand. I have no reason to believe Carl’s Jr. burgers are delicious simply because a hot girl drips grease on her boobs. If she let me lick the grease off her tits, I might change my mind. That or a $1 off coupon entirely inform my buying decision.

->Covering a fighting game for a media outlet can be a complicated affair, especially when attempting to go beyond face value, exploring issues of balance and timing and the competitive scene. The ''Franchise/DeadOrAlive'' franchise makes it easy. ''"What are ''[=DOA's=]'' boobs doing this time around?"'' I mean hell, even I'm doing it. Hi there.\\\
Tecmo Koei seems content to milk the series' breasts for all they are worth. The [=PlayStation 4=] and Xbox One versions of the recently-released ''Dead or Alive 5: Final Round'' feature the new "Soft Engine," designed specifically to make skin look silkier and move more realistically than ever before....I tried to argue that breast physics were the least interesting part of the series. The ''Dead or Alive'' I fell in love with is a fighting game focused on fast action, easy enough for a new player to hop in and simultaneously becomes simply brilliant in the hands of a seasoned pro. It's about dynamic face-offs and spectacular battles spilling across multi-tiered stages.\\\
The team responded with skepticism. If the sexy side of ''Dead or Alive'' was its least interesting aspect, then why the "Soft Engine?" Why all the marketing materials that are little more than 20 seconds of swaying boobs?\\\
And just like that, I deflated. There's no use arguing the character of a game when it's standing behind you the entire time with its shirt raised shouting "Look at my tits!"

->Well, it’s official. Music/BetteMidler is my tia who tells my cousins to pull down their skirts and stop running around looking like prostitutas...Bette is right about Music/ArianaGrande. Ariana looks like she’s 12 and she’s always done up like a toddler [[SpaceJam Lola Bunny]], so when she starts bringing the sex, I don’t know whether to laugh or scream for the authorities. Even [[DanceMoms Abby Lee Miller’s]] like, 'Tone it down, girl, tone it down.'

->I've been ordering to Yoji to make the character more erotic, and he did it well. Recently I've been making characters this way. The initial target is to make u want to do cosplay or its figurine to sell well.
-->--'''Creator/HideoKojima''', discussing ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolidVThePhantomPain Metal Gear Solid V]]'' on his Twitter feed

1. If you use this product you'll be a bikini model.

[[folder:fiction]]
->''"I'll take my clothes off, and it will be shameless\\
'Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous"''
-->-- '''LilyAllen''', ''"The Fear"''

->'''Dr. Diddy:''' Let me explain something to you, all right? We got to get her half-naked and put her up front center stage. That's gonna make you all billionaires, because America loves hot white jailbait ass.\\
'''Peter:''' Wait a minute.... ''(deadpan)'' That's the smartest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anything.
-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->I'm a beautiful, scantily-clad model standing in Times Square posing for this ad. Typical of Madison Avenue, they'll use sex to try and sell ''anything''! Even something as wholesome as milk. Only one problem. Most readers are so busy checking out my fabulous body that [[WhatWereTheySellingAgain they never really pay attention to the product being advertised.]]
-->-- [[ParodyCommercial Ad parody]], back cover of ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'' #384

->'''''SEX!!!'''''\\\
Now that I've got your attention VOTE FOR BART!!!
-->--Bart's campaign poster for his bid for classroom monitor, ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->'''Announcer:''' A glass of Gold Touch Brandy, to make you feel rich and famous.\\
'''Girl:''' Hi, have me met before? Is this seat taken? [giggle]
-->--''VideoGame/MaxPayne 2'' TV advert

->[-(A Land Rover purchase does not guarantee a satisfied sex life.)-]
-->--''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoII'' radio advert

->(Mara's been lounging around, half-asleep in the lobby. She comes to with a yawn.)\\
'''Mara''': ... You still not getting any help on the business front?\\
'''Marcia''': ...Actually, I hired Lust the other day.\\
'''Mara''': Gonna go with the sexy mascot idea then? Good call.\\
'''Marcia''': Yep. She's also my assistant.
-->--''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''

[[folder:real life]]

->Males are predictable creatures. All successful advertising campaigns that target men include one of these two messages:\\\
1. This product will help you get dates with bikini models.\\
2. This product will save you time and money, which you need if you want to date bikini models.\\\
Compared to simpleminded, brutish men, women are much more intricate and complex. Your advertising message must appeal to women's greater range of intellectual interests and aesthetic preferences. Specifically, your message has to say this:\\\
1. If you use this product you'll be a bikini model.
-->-- '''Creator/ScottAdams''', ''TheDilbertPrinciple''

->Pharmaceutical sales reps are famously young, attractive people. In fact, this is so well-known, it's become a sitcom punchline for years. If something's a joke on ''{{Series/Scrubs}}'', you ''know'' it's common knowledge.
-->--''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQZ2UeOTO3I on]] marketing to doctors

->In the United States, the advertising and public relations industry is huge. Back in the more honest days, they called it propaganda. Now [[{{Newspeak}} the term doesn’t sound nice]], so it’s not used anymore, but it’s basically a huge propaganda system...His first great success was to induce women to smoke. In the 1920s, women didn’t smoke. So here’s this big population which was not buying cigarettes, so he paid young models to march down New York City’s Fifth Avenue holding cigarettes. His message to women was, 'You want to be cool like a model? You should smoke a cigarette.' How many millions of corpses did that create? I’d hate to calculate it. But it was considered an enormous success.
-->--'''Noam Chomsky''' on Edward Bernays, the "Father of Public Relations"

->I always said that there were two things I wouldn't do: I won't do [[GirlOnGirlIsHot any lesbian stuff]] ('cause that's not my deal), and I'm not gonna get naked. --Well, [[WardrobeMalfunction I got naked by accident]], so... (laughs) Our demographic was 18-35-year-old males. Of course we're gonna do something like that. And I'd always wear [[DangerouslyShortSkirt the little skirt]] so it can pop up. Or, if you didn't have a skirt on: my favorite was you'd pull them like you're gonna give them a piledriver, and you [[{{Wedgie}} stick the hand down, and you pull up the thong]] you and give 'em a spanking. We always incorporated sex into everything because sex sells.
-->--'''{{Wrestling/Francine}}''', ''Forever Hardcore: The Documentary''

->Know why we don't hang out? You may dominate at every {{FPS}}, but you know what really levels ''me'' up? Creating your own video game. And when you do, ''I'll be waiting.''
-->--'''Mindfire Academy Video Game Design Bootcamp''' ad

->In a mere 15 seconds, the school makes it clear that they know nothing about gaming and less about women... Speaking of video games, [[XBoxOne that one]] will probably work better if [[CriticalResearchFailure you turn the controller on]].
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-stupidest-video-game-school-commercials/#ixzz31qKEKHvZ "The 6 Stupidest Video Game Commercials"]]

->I always said that there were two things I wouldn't do: I won't do [[GirlOnGirlIsHot any lesbian stuff]] ('cause that's not my deal), and I'm not gonna get naked. --Well, [[WardrobeMalfunction I got naked by accident]], so... (laughs) Our demographic was 18-35-year-old males. Of course women do something like that. And I'd always wear [[DangerouslyShortSkirt the little skirt]] so it can pop up. Or, if you didn't have a skirt, you'd pull them like you're gonna give them a piledriver, and you'd [[{{Wedgie}} stick your hand down in there and pull up the thong]] and give 'em the spanking. We always incorporated sex into everything because sex sells.

->I always said that there were two things I wouldn't do: I won't do [[GirlOnGirlIsHot any lesbian stuff]] ('cause that's not my deal), and I'm not gonna get naked. --Well, [[WardrobeMalfunction I got naked by accident]], so... (laughs) Our demographic was 18-35-year-old males. Of course women do something like that. and I always wear [[DangerouslyShortSkirt the little skirt]] so it can pop up. Or, if you didn't have a skirt, you'd pull them like you're gonna give them a piledriver, and you'd [[{{Wedgie}} stick your hand down in there and pull up the thong]] and give 'em the spanking. We always incorporated sex into everything because sex sells.

The team responded with skepticism. If the sexy side of Dead or Alive was its least interesting aspect, then why the "Soft Engine?" Why all the marketing materials that are little more than 20 seconds of swaying boobs?\\\

Tecmo Koei seems content to milk the series' breasts for all they are worth. The PlayStation 4 and Xbox One versions of the recently-released ''Dead or Alive 5: Final Round'' feature the new "Soft Engine," designed specifically to make skin look silkier and move more realistically than ever before. This is how that's being demonstrated...I tried to argue that breast physics were the least interesting part of the series. The ''Dead or Alive'' I fell in love with is a fighting game focused on fast action, easy enough for a new player to hop in and simultaneously becomes simply brilliant in the hands of a seasoned pro. It's about dynamic face-offs and spectacular battles spilling across multi-tiered stages.\\\

->Oh, look at that! ''Those'' two people like it! And they're shagging!
-->-- '''Creator/EddieIzzard'''

->In the United States, the advertising and public relations industry is huge. Back in the more honest days, they called it propaganda. Now [[{{Newspeak}} the term oesn’t sound nice]], so it’s not used anymore, but it’s basically a huge propaganda system...His first great success was to induce women to smoke. In the 1920s, women didn’t smoke. So here’s this big population which was not buying cigarettes, so he paid young models to march down New York City’s Fifth Avenue holding cigarettes. His message to women was, 'You want to be cool like a model? You should smoke a cigarette.' How many millions of corpses did that create? I’d hate to calculate it. But it was considered an enormous success.

-->-- '''''Series/MadMen'''''

-->--'''''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoII''''' radio advert

->In the United States, the advertising and public relations industry is huge. Back in the more honest days, they called it propaganda. Now [[{{Newspeak}} dthe term oesn’t sound nice]], so it’s not used anymore, but it’s basically a huge propaganda system...His first great success was to induce women to smoke. In the 1920s, women didn’t smoke. So here’s this big population which was not buying cigarettes, so he paid young models to march down New York City’s Fifth Avenue holding cigarettes. His message to women was, 'You want to be cool like a model? You should smoke a cigarette.' How many millions of corpses did that create? I’d hate to calculate it. But it was considered an enormous success.

!!!Fiction

!!!RealLife
->''"Males are predictable creatures. All successful advertising campaigns that target men include one of these two messages:\\\

1. If you use this product you'll be a bikini model."''

-->--''VideoGame/MaxPayne2 TV advert