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Quotes / Sex Sells

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Anime & Manga

Kirie: H-hey, why are we racing in these skimpy swimsuits?! It's embarrassing! And isn't it dangerous?!
Mizore: However can you say that? Now that we have magically-enhanced safety systems, the latest trend is to see how dangerous we can make it visually! And if they come off, the audience will love it and boost the event's popularity, so the sponsors are all for it!


Mr. Peters: Got a question for you. Which magazine sells the most copies?
Mark Lewis: Those with girls on the front covers and no front covers on the girls.

Carl Denham: Holy mackerel, do you think I want to haul a woman around?
Charles Weston: Then why?
Denham: Because the public, bless 'em, must have a pretty face.


Males are predictable creatures. All successful advertising campaigns that target men include one of these two messages:

1. This product will help you get dates with bikini models.
2. This product will save you time and money, which you need if you want to date bikini models.

Compared to simpleminded, brutish men, women are much more intricate and complex. Your advertising message must appeal to women's greater range of intellectual interests and aesthetic preferences. Specifically, your message has to say this:

1. If you use this product you'll be a bikini model.

Live-Action TV

"Pharmaceutical sales reps are famously young, attractive people. In fact, this is so well-known, it's become a sitcom punchline for years. If something's a joke on Scrubs, you know it's common knowledge."
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on marketing to doctors

"Know why we don't hang out? You may dominate at every FPS, but you know what really levels me up? Creating your own video game. And when you do, I'll be waiting."
Mindfire Academy Video Game Design Bootcamp ad

Speaking of video games, that one will probably work better if you turn the controller on.
Seanbaby on the above Mindfire Academy ad, "The 6 Stupidest Video Game Commercials"


I'm a beautiful, scantily-clad model standing in Times Square posing for this ad. Typical of Madison Avenue, they'll use sex to try and sell anything! Even something as wholesome as milk. Only one problem. Most readers are so busy checking out my fabulous body that they never really pay attention to the product being advertised.
Ad parody, back cover of MAD #384


I'll take my clothes off, and it will be shameless
'Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous
Lily Allen, "The Fear"

Stand-Up Comedy

"Oh, look at that! Those two people like it! And they're shagging!"


Jeff: There’s such a long history, in this country certainly, but I imagine all over the world of just like: Here’s a girl next to a thing we’re trying to sell you! Dumbass! You’re an idiot. You’ll be fooled by this. You fuckin’ rube. Look at this car! These ladies are laying on this car! You should buy this car! Maybe ladies will lay on your car.
Dan: I need to get to work, these ladies gotta get off my car!
Jeff: Yeah, like I’m late here, this is not safe. Tawny Kitaen, please get off my car.


Mara: ... You still not getting any help on the business front?
Marcia: ...Actually, I hired Lust the other day.
Mara: Gonna go with the sexy mascot idea then? Good call.
Marcia: Yep. She's also my assistant.


Gillie: We're not making bathing suits, are we?
Blessington: It's not for bathing suits, Warren. It's for—what is it again, Miss L'Arriere? What's the slogan?
Miss L'Arriere '"I had my swimming pool dug by a General Products steam shovel."
Blessington: There you are—it's for steam shovels.
Gillie: Oh! Then why don't they use a steam shovel?
Blessington: Because nobody would want to look at a steam shovel.

Video Games

Announcer: A glass of Gold Touch Brandy, to make you feel rich and famous.
Girl: Hi, have me met before? Is this seat taken? [giggle]
Max Payne 2 TV advert

(A Land Rover purchase does not guarantee a satisfied sex life.)
Grand Theft Auto 2 radio advert


"Dear reader, this is the story of how I met the woman of my life, the one that compli... Wait, don't leave yet! This book has lots of Hot Lesbian Bondage Sex!!!! Good... That got your attention..."
Lisa, Sunstone

Web Original

There’s no reason to listen to the words coming out of an unattractive woman’s mouth. There’s no reason to be interested in the adventures of a woman unless the word ‘erotic’ is slipped in there, however subtly. There’s no reason to draw a regular woman if you can draw a sexy one.
4th Letter, "Sexy is good, right? Sexy sells, right?"

Two thoughts on that cover: 1) Kim looks like an honorary Kaptain of a rubber dinghy called the S. S. Seamen (the first mate of which would be chum bucket Terry Richardson, who shot Kim’s kover).

2) A round of applause goes to the editors who showed an enormous level of restraint by not reversing the order of the words so that it read
“Inside Kim“. Or maybe they did, but the second the first copy came out of the printer, Kris Jenner appeared through a fiery hole in the floor and demanded a cut of the profits from people who bought the magazine expecting to find porn.
Michael K., "Kim Doesn't Kare About Being Objectified"

Didn't we already go through this with Madonna, and Janet Jackson, and Britney, and Xtina, and that one video in which Alanis was naked on a subway with her hair in front of her boobs and it was really awkward for everyone? Miley spent the entire year foam-finger-blasting herself, licking sledgehammers, and basically trying every inane strategy she could think of to rile up America's few remaining pearl clutchers. What's sad is that it totally worked.

Carl’s Jr. wants you to think of big ole titty sex when you think of their restaurants. It produces a desire to consume their burgers greater than the previous association with arteriosclerosis and irradiated giant sized ants.

Covering a fighting game for a media outlet can be a complicated affair, especially when attempting to go beyond face value, exploring issues of balance and timing and the competitive scene. The Dead or Alive franchise makes it easy. "What are DOA's boobs doing this time around?" I mean hell, even I'm doing it. Hi there.

Western Animation

Dr. Diddy: Let me explain something to you, all right? We got to get her half-naked and put her up front center stage. That's gonna make you all billionaires, because America loves hot white jailbait ass.
Peter: Wait a minute. That's the smartest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anything.


Now that I've got your attention VOTE FOR BART!"
—Bart's campaign poster for his bid for classroom monitor, The Simpsons

(After watching a commercial for "Turbulent Juice" featuring buff, attractive men wearing tight clothing suggestively spraying a substance all over themselves, without ever explaining what it is.)
Morty: What in the hell?!
Rick: Sex sells, Morty.
Morty: Sex sells what? Is it a movie, or does it clean stuff?
Rick and Morty, "Rixty Minutes"

Real Life

"In the United States, the advertising and public relations industry is huge. Back in the more honest days, they called it propaganda. Now the term doesn’t sound nice, so it’s not used anymore, but it’s basically a huge propaganda system...His first great success was to induce women to smoke. In the 1920s, women didn’t smoke. So here’s this big population which was not buying cigarettes, so he paid young models to march down New York City’s Fifth Avenue holding cigarettes. His message to women was, 'You want to be cool like a model? You should smoke a cigarette.' How many millions of corpses did that create? I’d hate to calculate it. But it was considered an enormous success."
Noam Chomsky on Edward Bernays, the "Father of Public Relations"

"We always incorporated sex into everything because sex sells."
Francine, Forever Hardcore: The Documentary

"I've been ordering to Yoji to make the character more erotic, and he did it well. Recently I've been making characters this way. The initial target is to make u want to do cosplay or its figurine to sell well."
Hideo Kojima, discussing Metal Gear Solid V on his Twitter feed

"Maybe [managers and mother's] tell them that's what you've got to do. Sex sells. Sex has always sold."
Bette Midler,