H-hey, why are we racing in these skimpy swimsuits?! It's embarrassing! And isn't it dangerous?! Mizore:
However can you say that? Now that we have magically-enhanced safety systems, the latest trend is to see how dangerous we can make it visually
! And if they come off, the audience will love it and boost the event's popularity, so the sponsors are all for it!
Males are predictable creatures. All successful advertising campaigns that target men include one of these two messages:
1. This product will help you get dates with bikini models.
2. This product will save you time and money, which you need if you want to date bikini models.
Compared to simpleminded, brutish men, women are much more intricate and complex. Your advertising message must appeal to women's greater range of intellectual interests and aesthetic preferences. Specifically, your message has to say this:
1. If you use this product you'll be a bikini model.
"Pharmaceutical sales reps are famously young, attractive people. In fact, this is so well-known, it's become a sitcom punchline for years. If something's a joke on Scrubs
, you know
it's common knowledge."
"Know why we don't hang out? You may dominate at every FPS
, but you know what really levels me
up? Creating your own video game. And when you do, I'll be waiting.
—Mindfire Academy Video Game Design Bootcamp ad
I'm a beautiful, scantily-clad model standing in Times Square posing for this ad. Typical of Madison Avenue, they'll use sex to try and sell
anything! Even something as wholesome as milk. Only one problem. Most readers are so busy checking out my fabulous body that they never really pay attention to the product being advertised.
I'll take my clothes off, and it will be shameless
'Cause everyone knows that's how you get famous
"Oh, look at that! Those
two people like it! And they're shagging!"
Theres such a long history, in this country certainly, but I imagine all over the world of just like: Heres a girl next to a thing were trying to sell you! Dumbass!
Youre an idiot. Youll be fooled by this. You fuckin rube
. Look at this car! These ladies are laying on this car! You should buy this car! Maybe ladies will lay on your
I need to get to work, these ladies gotta get off my car! Jeff:
Yeah, like Im late here, this is not safe. Tawny Kitaen, please get off my car.
: ... You still not getting any help on the business front? Marcia
: ...Actually, I hired Lust the other day. Mara
: Gonna go with the sexy mascot idea then? Good call. Marcia
: Yep. She's also my assistant.
: We're not making bathing suits, are we? Blessington
: It's not for bathing suits, Warren. It's for—what is it again, Miss L'Arriere? What's the slogan? Miss L'Arriere
'"I had my swimming pool dug by a General Products steam shovel." Blessington
: There you are—it's for steam shovels. Gillie
: Oh! Then why don't they use a steam shovel? Blessington
: Because nobody would want to look at a steam shovel.
A glass of Gold Touch Brandy, to make you feel rich and famous. Girl:
Hi, have me met before? Is this seat taken? [giggle]
(A Land Rover purchase does not guarantee a satisfied sex life.) "Dear reader, this is the story of how I met the woman of my life, the one that compli... Wait, don't leave yet! This book has lots of Hot Lesbian Bondage Sex!!!! Good... That got your attention..." Theres no reason to listen to the words coming out of an unattractive womans mouth. Theres no reason to be interested in the adventures of a woman unless the word erotic is slipped in there, however subtly. Theres no reason to draw a regular woman if you can draw a sexy one.
, "Sexy is good, right? Sexy sells, right?"
Two thoughts on that cover: 1) Kim looks like an honorary Kaptain of a rubber dinghy called the S. S. Seamen (the first mate of which would be chum bucket Terry Richardson, who shot Kims kover).
2) A round of applause goes to the editors who showed an enormous level of restraint by not reversing the order of the words so that it read
Inside Kim. Or maybe they did, but the second the first copy came out of the printer, Kris Jenner appeared through a fiery hole in the floor and demanded a cut of the profits from people who bought the magazine expecting to find porn.
, "Kim Doesn't Kare About Being Objectified"
Didn't we already go through this with Madonna, and Janet Jackson, and Britney, and Xtina, and that one video in which Alanis was naked on a subway with her hair in front of her boobs and it was really awkward for everyone? Miley spent the entire year foam-finger-blasting herself, licking sledgehammers, and basically trying every inane strategy she could think of to rile up America's few remaining pearl clutchers. What's sad is that it totally worked. Carls Jr. wants you to think of big ole titty sex when you think of their restaurants. It produces a desire to consume their burgers greater than the previous association with arteriosclerosis and irradiated giant sized ants. Covering a fighting game for a media outlet can be a complicated affair, especially when attempting to go beyond face value, exploring issues of balance and timing and the competitive scene. The Dead or Alive franchise makes it easy.
"What are DOA's boobs
doing this time around?" I mean hell, even I'm doing it. Hi there.
Let me explain something to you, all right? We got to get her half-naked and put her up front center stage. That's gonna make you all billionaires, because America loves hot white jailbait ass. Peter:
Wait a minute. That's the smartest thing I've ever heard anyone say about anything.
Now that I've got your attention VOTE FOR BART!"
—Bart's campaign poster for his bid for classroom monitor, The Simpsons
"In the United States, the advertising and public relations industry is huge. Back in the more honest days, they called it propaganda. Now the term doesnt sound nice
, so its not used anymore, but its basically a huge propaganda system...His first great success was to induce women to smoke. In the 1920s, women didnt smoke. So heres this big population which was not buying cigarettes, so he paid young models to march down New York Citys Fifth Avenue holding cigarettes. His message to women was, 'You want to be cool like a model? You should smoke a cigarette.' How many millions of corpses did that create? Id hate to calculate it. But it was considered an enormous success."
—Noam Chomsky on Edward Bernays, the "Father of Public Relations"
"We always incorporated sex into everything because sex sells."
, Forever Hardcore: The Documentary
"I've been ordering to Yoji to make the character more erotic, and he did it well. Recently I've been making characters this way. The initial target is to make u want to do cosplay or its figurine to sell well."